Do you fart at work?

mfc2006

I have my own office and an air purifier, let er' rip.

Empty Glass said:

Hobbes said:

@Empty Glass

Thank you Hobbes, I’ll take it from here…

Just came across this yesterday, heard a fart an aisle over.  Confused me as our serial farter retired. I am on the case to solve that mystery.

But to answer the question, yes I fuckin fart at work.  I am a professional farter.  At the printer, crop dust some asshole on a walk-by, down Management Row…yes!  Air must leave the body.

Why do I do this?  I can’t stand people and farts are funny.  I’ll fart at shows, at bars…etc.  I love dropping one and moving away and seeing a reaction.  I’ll fart in a store with the kids, embarrass them.  Around strangers, no muffler, just rip away and act as if it was someone else.

I did fart at the urinal at work the other day.  Very loud (bathroom echo) and funny sounding ass clapper.  A couple people were shitting, they heard it for sure, so I laughed pretty loud.  Had to do the quick hand wash and book so I couldn’t be identified.  I am an adult and can’t be caught at work laughing at a fart.

Who would go fart in their own car?  Gross!

LOL

JojoRice

I have my own office and an air purifier, let er' rip.

mrussel1 said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

JojoRice said:

I'm a teacher and fart all the time when I don't have students in my room.  However, when I do have students I try to drop some silent and deadly ones.  

How does one truly know if you've got an SBD on board or not? Sometimes the real big fuckers end up being silent, and the sly sneaky cramps end up coming out as if plugged into a Marshall stack. 

Because it's likely not your first of the day.  You should know the situation at hand. 

Ya.  Ive gotta feel for it.  It's like a 6th sense. 

2-feign-reluctance

JojoRice said:

mrussel1 said:

2-feign-reluctance said:

JojoRice said:

I'm a teacher and fart all the time when I don't have students in my room.  However, when I do have students I try to drop some silent and deadly ones.  

How does one truly know if you've got an SBD on board or not? Sometimes the real big fuckers end up being silent, and the sly sneaky cramps end up coming out as if plugged into a Marshall stack. 

Because it's likely not your first of the day.  You should know the situation at hand. 

Ya.  Ive gotta feel for it.  It's like a 6th sense. 

mfc2006

I have my own office and an air purifier, let er' rip.

I just did & it was a doozy. Happy Tuesday.

2-feign-reluctance

Yep, yesterday I ate this mediterranean dish I made. Chickpeas, rice, veggies. Pretty much the longest fart I've had in ages. Glad I ran to the bathroom. My air purifier would have struggled. 

PJ_Soul

I'm on the TB12 system and incapable of flatulence.

TMI, and I know this is hard to believe, but I'm actually telling the truth: I almost never fart. I just hardly ever have any gas in me. It's weird. I've never mentioned it to a doctor since I'm glad about it, so have no idea if there is a medical explanation or what. When I do fart it seems like kind of a big deal. So I'm not sure if I've ever farted at work... Or maybe a couple of times over the years. Surely.

(and btw, I have no idea when a TB12 system is - it was just the closest to the answer "I don't fart")

HughFreakingDillon

PJ_Soul said:

TMI, and I know this is hard to believe, but I'm actually telling the truth: I almost never fart. I just hardly ever have any gas in me. It's weird. I've never mentioned it to a doctor since I'm glad about it, so have no idea if there is a medical explanation or what. When I do fart it seems like kind of a big deal. So I'm not sure if I've ever farted at work... Or maybe a couple of times over the years. Surely.

(and btw, I have no idea when a TB12 system is - it was just the closest to the answer "I don't fart")

I had to look it up too. It's the Tom Brady diet. 

a really good friend of ours is like you; I didn't believe her either at first. lol. 

Poncier

Nobody believes any Canadian doesn't fart....

ed243421

Gern Blansten

I only cut em' in the bathroom, which presents a whole other set of challenges.

Poncier said:

Nobody believes any Canadian doesn't fart....

my god that was hilarious....I about had a heart attack when I first saw that

mfc2006

I have my own office and an air purifier, let er' rip.

Poncier said:

Nobody believes any Canadian doesn't fart....

HAHAHA

HughFreakingDillon

looking at that GIF made me realize, since my name starts with P and my wife's with T, would could go as Terrence and Phillip for Halloween. 

2-feign-reluctance

mfc2006 said:

Poncier said:

Nobody believes any Canadian doesn't fart....

HAHAHA

Haha!! Nailed it. 

mfc2006

I have my own office and an air purifier, let er' rip.

HughFreakingDillon said:

looking at that GIF made me realize, since my name starts with P and my wife's with T, would could go as Terrence and Phillip for Halloween. 

That would be awesome. Pictures, please.

Gern Blansten

I only cut em' in the bathroom, which presents a whole other set of challenges.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDDJvC2CGaU

Gern Blansten

I only cut em' in the bathroom, which presents a whole other set of challenges.

it should have won an oscar

Poncier

Gern Blansten said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDDJvC2CGaU

That is one of the 3 things I recall laughing the hardest at in a movie theater in my life.

Gern Blansten

I only cut em' in the bathroom, which presents a whole other set of challenges.

Poncier said:

Gern Blansten said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDDJvC2CGaU

That is one of the 3 things I recall laughing the hardest at in a movie theater in my life.

same...I remember going to see Grindhouse completely stoned and laughing my ass off at the fake Machete trailer.  At the point he goes airborne on the chopper with the giant machinegun on the front I nearly pissed myself. 

Gern Blansten

I only cut em' in the bathroom, which presents a whole other set of challenges.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp_dJkwQAds

at the 2:50 mark

2-feign-reluctance

Dusters will be dusted, eventually. I feel there is a karma to this.