A Bubble To Burst will be released internationally on March 15th. The release will include the first two tracks, "This Is Life" which features Jeff Ament on fretless upright bass, and a new track "This Ain't No Rodeo" which will have a corresponding music video.
This Is Life (For Steph and Meyers) - from A Bubble To Burst
This is a very hard post to make, so please bear with me.
We
have decided to finally officially release the album "A Bubble to
Burst," along with a new single, "This Ain't no Rodeo," on March 15th.
And it coincides with some very difficult things that I'm going through
in my personal life. And that our family is going through.
The
first two songs we are going to release internationally are "This Ain't
no Rodeo" along with the song "This Is Life" featuring Jeff Ament.
"This Is Life" is my favorite song on the album because it somehow
beautifully memorializes our little unit (me, Steph, and Meyers) and
everything we have gone through these past 7 years. And it has been
nothing short of brutal, but through that a lot of beauty has shown
through also. Steph has been nothing short of a superhero, carrying our
family through a very difficult extremely prolonged trial with my
health. And Meyers has been such a little champ, and has endured so
much more than I ever would have wanted him to experience in his entire
life.
I went down to Arizona this past month to continue work on
my health. For those of you who don't know my story, I was placed on
medications 7 years ago following the Dawns album tour. After pouring
myself into that, our family was taken advantage of by a very corrupt
industry. Some are good some are bad, unfortunately on this go around
we had unknowingly hired the bad. I had a nervous breakdown coming home
to the reality that our home was going into foreclosure. To save it we
had to relocate to Philadelphia. When we returned to Missoula, a year
after being placed on 1 med and that steadily being increased to 4, I
had a med allergic reaction called Stevens Johnson Syndrome, which
carries with it the risk of fatality.
So my Dr. removed the 1 med
in question but after the rash did not subside, he decided to cold
turkey me from all meds. This included 3 mg of klonopin (a
benzodiazepine) and 1800 mg of gabatentin.
This resulted in 2
years of agonizing acute symptoms: chronic panic attacks, loss of
working memory (I did not remember chords or how a capo worked), I had
agoraphobia meaning I could not leave my home without paralyzing fear.
My nervous system was so disregulated from the cold turkey but no one
wanted to prescribe because of the fear of Stevens Johnson and my med
sensitivity. We were afraid to take meds. I was trapped, and I
watched my son age and grow in front of my eyes, while I could not
connect with him emotionally or feel any sense of orientation to the
world around me. I was inside 'a bubble’. Everything that mattered to
me was on the other side just out of my reach.
But I did not give
up. I lived with chronic suicidal ideations, sweating, hot flashes,
cold flashes, vomiting, sensitivity to light and sound (I would put on
my my headphones and wrap the cable tightly around my head so that when I
took a bath with Meyers, the sound of his voice and the water splashing
would not be unbearable).
I walked the same walking path every
day, in a circle. I deep breathed all day, breath in. hold 1.2.3.4,
exhale 1.2.3.4. I matched the timing with my footsteps. I literally
forced my body to counseling and EMDR therapy, massage, acupuncture 4
days a week. I stopped caffeine. I ate mostly a ketogenic diet, proven
to help similar symptoms of seizure victims.
NOTHING helped. For two years, NOTHING!
So
3 years ago we went to Seattle and they did a Spect Scan of my brain
which measures blood flow, and by knowing which areas blood should be
flowing to and the profile of a healthy brain, they can depict patterns
or 'illness'. I like the word imbalance.
They diagnosed me with
severe, chronically acute PTSD. I had to get back on meds to get off of
them the right way. You can imagine how scary that process would be.
There was no way out, I was starting all over, this was neverending.
This story could go on for 3 more years.... But it doesn't need to, cause here I am now. In the present moment. While
I was at Arizona continuing to taper off the meds (3 weeks ago) after
sitting on my bed writing a song titled ‘Goodbye,' Steph and I had a
conversation and we decided to dissolve our marriage.
This has
been painful beyond imagination. You feel you failed, you lost, how is
there any explanation for this! You feel anger, sadness, no hope.
There is nothing good that you feel. No meaning that you can derive
from any of it. But like everything about this process, we have had to
just do the best we can at each stage, and we TRY TRY TRY to accept, and
then we stop trying for a moment, and we accept. And then we don't
accept, and so it goes. Like an accordian.
I want to tell you 2
more stories about my health struggles that encapsulate this album and
what I want to express with my heart in this post...
For 16
months, intermittently I had to wake Stephanie up, sometimes 3 times per
night, because of the sheer pain, panic, and suffering I was enduring
in my body. For those 16 months it was recommended that I place heavy
blankets over my body to help the anxiety. I had 4 blankets at one
point. But like everything else, it didn't work. So throughout those
16 months, Steph would lay face-down flat on top of me and place all of
her body weight evenly distributed over my body to provide more weight,
and lay her cheek against my face. ); ); ); Sometimes for 10
minutes, sometimes 30.
I’ve had probably 10 major PTSD blowups
over the past few years. And if you don't understand PTSD, or trauma,
it is where your body recorded something into memory, and then a current
trigger that is familiar can trigger your body right back to that 10
out of 10 symptom state you originally experienced. Your body doesn't
know it's different, doesn't know you’re okay, it just registers the
threat, and pulls the fire alarm. And the whole system goes off
completely against your will.
My PTSD blowups almost always
occurred after being placed on the meds, and then needing to taper them
again. I have so much trauma built around that cold turkey taper they
did, that when I dropped the smallest amount of a med, all the symptoms
would flair up. I would feel trapped, I would panic, I would know there
is no way out, I was right back Day 1 in the torture camp. I would
scream and become angry I was so scared. In one instance I broke my
Gibson acoustic over Meyers’s baby cradle we had in the dining room that
we were listing on craigslist.
In this particular instance, and it
was the case most of the time, Steph and Meyers observed all of this
trauma response. But I will never forget while I was screaming after
breaking my guitar, and shoving a table across the floor, little Meyers
came up to me directly and wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged
me as tightly as he could. ); ); And I stopped, and was just breathing
so heavily.
And he understood. Papa was scared.
This
album is about a courageous insightful resilient little boy, and a girl
I fell head over heels in love with when she stole an Orangina from my
hand, leaning against a gambling machine at Sean Kelly’s for The Tom
Catmull Band’s last show, and she invited me out for tea. And I knew.
It hit me like a lightening bolt. I’d known this girl for 1,000
lifetimes. Steph has been my ‘Deck of Cards' my ‘Country Song' my
‘Taillights', my “If You Need Me At All," my “She Got Me Good," my ‘I
Won't Leave You Alone,' my ‘Through and Through'. She has been my muse.
We have been through a voyage together beyond comprehension.
If
you know Steph, please offer her your support at this time. Not only
did she carry the weight of my whole world and Meyers's on her back for 6
years, she did it every day with every client she continued to meet,
and she did it while none of her needs and concerns were being met. On
any level. She deserves as much love and support as this community can
offer here.
And in terms of me, well I’m a little less social
still these days, but yes, everyone could use some friends and a whole
bunch of support through these type of moments. Thanks to everyone who
had helped out with Meyers through all these years, he really has been
raised by a village while his Papa has “been away”. Thanks for caring.
We
are going to do it and finally release this album, "A Bubble To Burst"
properly on March 15th, along with some beautiful videos for “This Ain’t
No Rodeo” and “Country Song” which features Steph. For those of you
who don’t already have the pre-order version, this album is about a
beautiful snapshot in life where a little family in the midst of a big
strong world, persevered.
And this album is dedicated to Steph and Meyers.
I love you both so much,
Dave
“Vulnerability is not about winning, and it's not about losing. It's about having the courage to show up and be seen.” - Brené Brown
Hello friends, I'm announcing my first official online concert, next Thursday June 18th. Times Include Noon MST, 2 PM EST, 7 PM London, and 9 PM Istanbul.
Announcing my first official online concert, next Thursday June 18th. Times included MST, EST, London, and Istanbul. Tune in, I've included the setlist! Feel free to make a request in the comments section below, and I will pick from the hat. Look forward to seeing you all there, digital style!
This is a donations based concert, payments accepted through Venmo and Paypal:
Hello
friends, unfortunately I am having some health problems this week and I
am needing to cancel today's performance. I am realizing it's a little
hard to predict these things in advance, so I will continue doing online
performances but it may be a bit more of a spur-of-the-moment endeavor.
That being said, I did do an impromptu performance a few weeks back. If
you didn't get a chance to check that out here's a link to it.
And if you haven't had a chance to check out our three music videos from the upcoming album, visit www.davidboonemusic.com which has been recently updated. There you'll also find links to all of the new singles via spotify, amazon, etc.
Sorry for any disappointment or inconvenience, I will make sure to connect with you all soon.
Comments
so please bear with me.
We have decided to finally officially release the album "A Bubble to Burst," along with a new single, "This Ain't no Rodeo," on March 15th. And it coincides with some very difficult things that I'm going through in my personal life. And that our family is going through.
The first two songs we are going to release internationally are "This Ain't no Rodeo" along with the song "This Is Life" featuring Jeff Ament. "This Is Life" is my favorite song on the album because it somehow beautifully memorializes our little unit (me, Steph, and Meyers) and everything we have gone through these past 7 years. And it has been nothing short of brutal, but through that a lot of beauty has shown through also. Steph has been nothing short of a superhero, carrying our family through a very difficult extremely prolonged trial with my health. And Meyers has been such a little champ, and has endured so much more than I ever would have wanted him to experience in his entire life.
I went down to Arizona this past month to continue work on my health. For those of you who don't know my story, I was placed on medications 7 years ago following the Dawns album tour. After pouring myself into that, our family was taken advantage of by a very corrupt industry. Some are good some are bad, unfortunately on this go around we had unknowingly hired the bad. I had a nervous breakdown coming home to the reality that our home was going into foreclosure. To save it we had to relocate to Philadelphia. When we returned to Missoula, a year after being placed on 1 med and that steadily being increased to 4, I had a med allergic reaction called Stevens Johnson Syndrome, which carries with it the risk of fatality.
So my Dr. removed the 1 med in question but after the rash did not subside, he decided to cold turkey me from all meds. This included 3 mg of klonopin (a benzodiazepine) and 1800 mg of gabatentin.
This resulted in 2 years of agonizing acute symptoms: chronic panic attacks, loss of working memory (I did not remember chords or how a capo worked), I had agoraphobia meaning I could not leave my home without paralyzing fear. My nervous system was so disregulated from the cold turkey but no one wanted to prescribe because of the fear of Stevens Johnson and my med sensitivity. We were afraid to take meds.
I was trapped, and I watched my son age and grow in front of my eyes, while I could not connect with him emotionally or feel any sense of orientation to the world around me. I was inside 'a bubble’. Everything that mattered to me was on the other side just out of my reach.
But I did not give up. I lived with chronic suicidal ideations, sweating, hot flashes, cold flashes, vomiting, sensitivity to light and sound (I would put on my my headphones and wrap the cable tightly around my head so that when I took a bath with Meyers, the sound of his voice and the water splashing would not be unbearable).
I walked the same walking path every day, in a circle. I deep breathed all day, breath in. hold 1.2.3.4, exhale 1.2.3.4. I matched the timing with my footsteps. I literally forced my body to counseling and EMDR therapy, massage, acupuncture 4 days a week. I stopped caffeine. I ate mostly a ketogenic diet, proven to help similar symptoms of seizure victims.
NOTHING helped. For two years, NOTHING!
So 3 years ago we went to Seattle and they did a Spect Scan of my brain which measures blood flow, and by knowing which areas blood should be flowing to and the profile of a healthy brain, they can depict patterns or 'illness'. I like the word imbalance.
They diagnosed me with severe, chronically acute PTSD. I had to get back on meds to get off of them the right way. You can imagine how scary that process would be. There was no way out, I was starting all over, this was neverending.
This story could go on for 3 more years.... But it doesn't need to, cause here I am now. In the present moment.
While I was at Arizona continuing to taper off the meds (3 weeks ago) after sitting on my bed writing a song titled ‘Goodbye,' Steph and I had a conversation and we decided to dissolve our marriage.
This has been painful beyond imagination. You feel you failed, you lost, how is there any explanation for this! You feel anger, sadness, no hope. There is nothing good that you feel. No meaning that you can derive from any of it. But like everything about this process, we have had to just do the best we can at each stage, and we TRY TRY TRY to accept, and then we stop trying for a moment, and we accept. And then we don't accept, and so it goes. Like an accordian.
I want to tell you 2 more stories about my health struggles that encapsulate this album and what I want to express with my heart in this post...
For 16 months, intermittently I had to wake Stephanie up, sometimes 3 times per night, because of the sheer pain, panic, and suffering I was enduring in my body. For those 16 months it was recommended that I place heavy blankets over my body to help the anxiety. I had 4 blankets at one point. But like everything else, it didn't work. So throughout those 16 months, Steph would lay face-down flat on top of me and place all of her body weight evenly distributed over my body to provide more weight, and lay her cheek against my face. ); ); ); Sometimes for 10 minutes, sometimes 30.
I’ve had probably 10 major PTSD blowups over the past few years. And if you don't understand PTSD, or trauma, it is where your body recorded something into memory, and then a current trigger that is familiar can trigger your body right back to that 10 out of 10 symptom state you originally experienced. Your body doesn't know it's different, doesn't know you’re okay, it just registers the threat, and pulls the fire alarm. And the whole system goes off completely against your will.
And he understood. Papa was scared.
This album is about a courageous insightful resilient little boy, and a girl I fell head over heels in love with when she stole an Orangina from my hand, leaning against a gambling machine at Sean Kelly’s for The Tom Catmull Band’s last show, and she invited me out for tea. And I knew. It hit me like a lightening bolt. I’d known this girl for 1,000 lifetimes. Steph has been my ‘Deck of Cards' my ‘Country Song' my ‘Taillights', my “If You Need Me At All," my “She Got Me Good," my ‘I Won't Leave You Alone,' my ‘Through and Through'. She has been my muse. We have been through a voyage together beyond comprehension.
If you know Steph, please offer her your support at this time. Not only did she carry the weight of my whole world and Meyers's on her back for 6 years, she did it every day with every client she continued to meet, and she did it while none of her needs and concerns were being met. On any level. She deserves as much love and support as this community can offer here.
And in terms of me, well I’m a little less social still these days, but yes, everyone could use some friends and a whole bunch of support through these type of moments. Thanks to everyone who had helped out with Meyers through all these years, he really has been raised by a village while his Papa has “been away”. Thanks for caring.
We are going to do it and finally release this album, "A Bubble To Burst" properly on March 15th, along with some beautiful videos for “This Ain’t No Rodeo” and “Country Song” which features Steph. For those of you who don’t already have the pre-order version, this album is about a beautiful snapshot in life where a little family in the midst of a big strong world, persevered.
And this album is dedicated to Steph and Meyers.
I love you both so much,
Dave
“Vulnerability is not about winning, and it's not about losing. It's about having
the courage to show up and be seen.”
- Brené Brown
Hello friends, I'm announcing my first official online concert, next Thursday June 18th. Times Include Noon MST, 2 PM EST, 7 PM London, and 9 PM Istanbul.
To view the event, visit the Facebook link: HERE
If you have a song request, please include it in the comments section, and I will pick from the hat that day.
This is a donations based concert, payments accepted through Venmo and Paypal.
I look forward to seeing you all there, digital style!
Thanks! Dave
David Boone
Hello friends, unfortunately I am having some health problems this week and I am needing to cancel today's performance. I am realizing it's a little hard to predict these things in advance, so I will continue doing online performances but it may be a bit more of a spur-of-the-moment endeavor. That being said, I did do an impromptu performance a few weeks back. If you didn't get a chance to check that out here's a link to it.
And if you haven't had a chance to check out our three music videos from the upcoming album, visit www.davidboonemusic.com which has been recently updated. There you'll also find links to all of the new singles via spotify, amazon, etc.
Sorry for any disappointment or inconvenience, I will make sure to connect with you all soon.
Sincerely,
Dave
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=178663406897210