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RIP Dad: Man of the Hour

TorontonianTorontonian Posts: 562
edited October 2018 in The Porch
I don't write in too many forums but Pearl Jam and this community have always made me feel like I was a part of something special.

My Dad passed away suddenly on Friday, September 28th, 2018.  The funeral is tomorrow.  I was very upset the day it happened and days after but was holding it together until "Man of the Hour" came on Pearl Jam Radio just before I was to visit with his best friends.

It's hard.  I lost my Mom to Alzheimer's in 2014 and now my Dad suddenly.  He was in good health but had cardiac arrest.

I was an only child so it's difficult to process that both of my parents are gone.

Pearl Jam's music will help me during these difficult times and crying is natural.  Man of the Hour just hit me hard.  It felt like he was playing it for me.

RIP Mom and Dad, I will always love you.
Post edited by Torontonian on
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Comments

  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,607
    Fuck, I am sorry to read this.
    Best wishes to you as you work through this loss.
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • 1upstate1upstate near Syracuse NY Posts: 201
    Sorry for your loss. Music has always helped me through difficult times. 
    "I know I was born and I know that I'll die. The in between is mine"
  • cp3iversoncp3iverson Posts: 8,702
    So sorry to hear this.  Know that you made them proud
  • mfc2006mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,484
    So sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a parent is one of the toughest things, but you will get through this. 

    Take care,
    Matt
    I LOVE MUSIC.
    www.cluthelee.com
    www.cluthe.com
  • on2legson2legs Posts: 15,438
    My condolences for your loss.  
    1996: Randall's Island 2  1998: East Rutherford | MSG 1 & 2  2000: Cincinnati | Columbus | Jones Beach 1, 2, & 3 | Boston 1 | Camden 1 & 2 2003: Philadelphia | Uniondale | MSG 1 & 2 | Holmdel  2005: Atlantic City 1  2006: Camden 1 | East Rutherford 1 & 2 2008: Camden 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 | Newark (EV)  2009: Philadelphia 1, 2 & 4  2010: Newark | MSG 1 & 2  2011: Toronto 1  2013: Wrigley Field | Brooklyn 2 | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore  2015: Central Park  2016: Philadelphia 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 | Fenway Park 2 | MSG (TOTD)  2017: Brooklyn (RnR HOF)  2020: MSG | Asbury Park  2021: Asbury Park  2022: MSG | Camden | Nashville  2024: MSG 1 & 2 (#50) | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore  2025: Raleigh


  • willbarclaywillbarclay Ottawa, Canada Posts: 3,298
    I am very sorry for you.
    i can relate as I was also an only child and lost my dad the same way a couple years ago. 
    It takes time but It will get better eventually. 
    I don't have all the answers but feel free if you want to PM me if you want to chat
  • hepcatpunkhepcatpunk Posts: 177
    Sorry for your loss.  That song gets me every time, even w/o the context of losing a parent.  Hang in there!
  • crookedcrosscrookedcross Right Near Da Beach, Boiii Posts: 1,514
    Sorry for your loss.  Stay strong.
  • AH200403AH200403 Georgia Posts: 44
    So sorry for your loss.  
    2005: Kitchener, ON;  London,ON; Hamilton,ON  
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    2010: New York, NY 1; New York, NY 2
    2012: Atlanta, GA
    2013: Chicago, IL; Charlotte, NC; Los Angeles, CA 1; Los Angeles, CA 2
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    2018: London, UK 1; London UK 2; Wrigley 1; Wrigley 2
  • YourDirtisMyfoodYourDirtisMyfood Boston Posts: 4,657
    Thinking of you during these trying times.  
  • TorontonianTorontonian Posts: 562
    Thanks everyone I really appreciate it.  Trying to think of all the good times...
  • LoujoeLoujoe Posts: 10,355
    Wow. Take care and you're never alone. 
  • mwplummwplum Posts: 1,538
    Very sorry for your loss. Hope that you have a good network of support around you.
    1992-07-21 Vancouver
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    1998-7-19 Vancouver, 7-21 Seattle, Memorial Stadium
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    2018 - Seattle x 2, Missoula, Fenway x 2
  • LastStopOnTheWestCoastLineLastStopOnTheWestCoastLine Posts: 328
    Beautiful post. Sorry for your loss.
  • giventofly69giventofly69 Vancouver Posts: 849
    Sorry about your loss. A very difficult time for you for sure. We are thinking of you. 
    "Your light's reflected now, reflected from afar. We were but stones, your light made us stars."
  • 23scidoo23scidoo Thessaloniki,Greece Posts: 19,524
    Torontonian said:
    Thanks everyone I really appreciate it.  Trying to think of all the good times...
    This is what you should do..sorry for your loss..
    Athens 2006. Dusseldorf 2007. Berlin 2009. Venice 2010. Amsterdam 1 2012. Amsterdam 1+2 2014. Buenos Aires 2015.
    Prague Krakow Berlin 2018. Berlin 2022
    EV, Taormina 1+2 2017.

    I wish i was the souvenir you kept your house key on..
  • SaravaSarava Naperville, IL Posts: 2,043
    I'm sorry for your loss.
  • deftonesdeftones Athens, Greece Posts: 2,444
    My condolences. Sorry for your loss.
    ATHENS / 30-9-2006, MANCHESTER / 20-6-2012, MANCHESTER / 21-6-2012, AMSTERDAM / 16-6-2014, AMSTERDAM / 17-6-2014, AMSTERDAM / 12-6-2018, AMSTERDAM / 13-6-2018, PRAGUE / 1-7-2018, KRAKOW / 3-7-2018, BERLIN / 5-7-2018
  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 30,587
    Please accept my condolences on your loss ...
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • SD48277SD48277 Posts: 12,243
    I am so sorry for your loss. 
    ELITIST FUK
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    I hope you can find comfort when needed most.  I'm very sorry.
  • Sirens4Sirens4 Posts: 615
    Very sorry!! Use the music to heal! Lost my father unexpectedly 5 years ago right before my wedding!! Pearl Jam music greatly helped and still does !!
    Springfield 94 hartford 96,98,06,08 xl center 2010,2013 boston 06,2010 mansfield ma 1998,2000,2003,2008
  • Matts3221Matts3221 Posts: 658

    So very sorry for your loss , I know at times like these words don't mean much. The only thing I will say is that one day and it may be a long time but one day you will be thinking of your dad and a smile will come across your face before a tear falls from your eye.

    Much love to you.

  • iwasatpj20iwasatpj20 Rockford, IL Posts: 3,427
    Sorry to hear about your dad's passing.  Our words may not mean much, but keep the positive memories of them with you at all times.  That has helped me with my mother's passing in July.  Best to you.
    2000 - Chicago, IL
    2003 - Champaign, IL
    2006 - Chicago, IL 1 & 2
    2007 - Chicago, IL Lollapalooza
    2009 - Chicago, IL 1 & 2
    2010 - St. Louis, MO
    2011 - East Troy, WI 1 & 2 (PJ20 Destination Weekend)
    2012 - Atlanta, GA, Missoula, MT
    2013 - Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field), Dallas, TX, Oklahoma City, OK
    2014 - St. Louis, MO, Tulsa, OK, Moline, IL (No Code, IL), Saint Paul, MN, Milwaukee, WI (Yield, WI)
    2016 - Greenville, SC (Vs, SC), Raleigh, NC, Columbia, SC, Boston, MA (Fenway Park 1), Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field 1 & 2)
    2018 - Seattle, WA (Safeco Field 2), Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field 1 & 2), Boston, MA (Fenway Park 2)
    2020 - Nashville, TN, St. Louis, MO, Oklahoma City, OK, Phoenix, AZ, ??
    2022 - Nashville, TN, St. Louis, MO, Oklahoma City, OK, Phoenix, AZ, Las Vegas, NV
    2023 - St. Paul, MN 2, Fort Worth, TX 2, Austin, TX 1, and Austin, TX 2
    2024 - Portland, OR and Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field 1 & 2)
    2025 - Pittsburgh, PA1 & Pittsburgh PA2


    2012 - Temple of the Dog East Troy, WI (PJ20 Destination Weekend)
    2014 - Soundgarden Tinley Park, IL (with Nine Inch Nails)
    2014 - Alice in Chains Davenport, IA
    2016 - Chris Cornell Solo Madison, WI and Peoria, IL (official hometown show)
    2016 - Temple of the Dog San Francisco, CA (both shows)
    2017 - Soundgarden Dallas (cancelled) RIP Chris Cornell
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    2022 - Jerry Cantrell Chicago, IL
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    RIP Andrew Wood, Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, and Chris Cornell

    RIP Mom (may your star shine the brightest in the sky, our family loves and misses you very much, we'll meet again)

  • treestrees Columbus OHIO Posts: 1,908
    I hear you peace and take of yourself, the music does help


    PJ Cuyahoga Flalls OH 8/26/1998
    PJ Noblesviile IN 8/18/2000
    PJ Cincinnatti OH 8/20/2000
    PJ Columbus OH 8/21/2000
    PJ Columbus OH 6/24/2003
    PJ Hamilton Ontario 9/13/2005
    PJ Phiadelphia PA 10/3/2005
    PJ Cleveland OH 5/20/2006
    PJ Columbia SC 6/16/2008.....
    e.V Chicago IL 8/21/2008
    e.V Philly PA 6/11/2009
    e.V Bailtimore MD 6/14/2009...
    PJ Chicago IL 8/23/2009
    .PJ...Philly PA 10/27/2009 PJ.Philadephia PA 10/28/2009.
    PJ Columbus OH 5/6/2010
    PJ Cleveland OH 5/9/2010.
    BRAD Columbus OH 10/5/2010
    e.V St.Louis MO 7/1/2011
    .PJ.. East Troy WI 9/3/2011..PJ..East Troy WI 9/4/2011
    Neil Young & Crazy Horse Cleveland OH 10/8/2012
    RNDM Chicago IL11/13/2012
    Alice In Chains/SoundGarden Columbus OH 5/19/2013
    AIC Fort Wayne IN 5/21/2013
    PJ Pittsburgh PA 10/11/2013
    AIC Cincinnati OH 5/17/2014
    AIC Cleveland OH 5/19/2014
    AIC Indianapolis IN 8/19/2014
    PJ Cincinnati OH 10/1/2014
    AIC Cincinnati OH 8/06/2015
    RNDM Chicago IL 3/15/2016
    PJ Columbia SC 4\21\2016
    PJ Lexington KY 4/26/2016
    PJ Chicago IL 8/20/2016
    Soundgarden Columbus OH 5/20/2017 Canceled RIP Chris
    AIC Columbus OH 5/18/2018 
    PJ Chicago IL 8/18/2018 PJ Chicago IL 8/20/2018
    PJ St Louis Missouri 9/18/2022
    AIC Cuyohoga falls Oh. 8/16/2019
    SHAWNSMITH Rip 2019Mark Lanegan Band 5/18/19
  • treestrees Columbus OHIO Posts: 1,908
    The music helps take care of yourself


    PJ Cuyahoga Flalls OH 8/26/1998
    PJ Noblesviile IN 8/18/2000
    PJ Cincinnatti OH 8/20/2000
    PJ Columbus OH 8/21/2000
    PJ Columbus OH 6/24/2003
    PJ Hamilton Ontario 9/13/2005
    PJ Phiadelphia PA 10/3/2005
    PJ Cleveland OH 5/20/2006
    PJ Columbia SC 6/16/2008.....
    e.V Chicago IL 8/21/2008
    e.V Philly PA 6/11/2009
    e.V Bailtimore MD 6/14/2009...
    PJ Chicago IL 8/23/2009
    .PJ...Philly PA 10/27/2009 PJ.Philadephia PA 10/28/2009.
    PJ Columbus OH 5/6/2010
    PJ Cleveland OH 5/9/2010.
    BRAD Columbus OH 10/5/2010
    e.V St.Louis MO 7/1/2011
    .PJ.. East Troy WI 9/3/2011..PJ..East Troy WI 9/4/2011
    Neil Young & Crazy Horse Cleveland OH 10/8/2012
    RNDM Chicago IL11/13/2012
    Alice In Chains/SoundGarden Columbus OH 5/19/2013
    AIC Fort Wayne IN 5/21/2013
    PJ Pittsburgh PA 10/11/2013
    AIC Cincinnati OH 5/17/2014
    AIC Cleveland OH 5/19/2014
    AIC Indianapolis IN 8/19/2014
    PJ Cincinnati OH 10/1/2014
    AIC Cincinnati OH 8/06/2015
    RNDM Chicago IL 3/15/2016
    PJ Columbia SC 4\21\2016
    PJ Lexington KY 4/26/2016
    PJ Chicago IL 8/20/2016
    Soundgarden Columbus OH 5/20/2017 Canceled RIP Chris
    AIC Columbus OH 5/18/2018 
    PJ Chicago IL 8/18/2018 PJ Chicago IL 8/20/2018
    PJ St Louis Missouri 9/18/2022
    AIC Cuyohoga falls Oh. 8/16/2019
    SHAWNSMITH Rip 2019Mark Lanegan Band 5/18/19
  • EM194007EM194007 Posts: 2,827
    Sorry for your loss. My condolences to you hand all family and friends.
  • kce8kce8 Posts: 1,636
    I am feeling with you. It's the love we will keep forever in our hearts.
  • BasilgBasilg Killingworth, CT Posts: 76
    My sincerest condolences to you bro--rough sledding. Lost my mom on Thanksgiving '13 and 16-days later, my dad passed. So hard to process but know keeping their memories alive thru you helps so much. Say a quick prayer every night thanking them for the life they gave me. Try and integrate stories or anecdotes whenever I can..At the dinner table w/my wife and kids, parties with family/friends, etc.. Not only fills your heart, but makes people laugh, smile, and even cry. If you get all three, they are right there beside you.  Wishing you peace man.       
  • willbarclaywillbarclay Ottawa, Canada Posts: 3,298
    Matts3221 said:

    So very sorry for your loss , I know at times like these words don't mean much. The only thing I will say is that one day and it may be a long time but one day you will be thinking of your dad and a smile will come across your face before a tear falls from your eye.

    Much love to you.


    Speaking from my own experience, This is the opposite. Our words here can actually help quite a bit.

    When my father passed I found a lot of support within the first few days. People reached out to offer condolences and any assistance that they could.  Once the funeral had passed and the shock wore off so to did the support unfortunately. It became a very quiet time and only myself to deal. I was also an only child so I was alone.

    Thank God I had my little kids as they got me through 100%.

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