The hard work of surviving emotional depression and anxiety.

brianlux
brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
in All Encompassing Trip
First of all, my apologies if this seems like one to many threads on depression and anxiety.  I know we have several but I'm hoping we can focus here on the hard work of making out way through the tangle of these mental health issues.

My anxiety and depression were at their worst from late 1993 through the end of that decade.  I believed, that because they were for the most part caused by the distress of extreme and painful sound sensitivity (hyperacusis) and intolerable tinnitus, that there was little hope for me to overcome my issues.  I nearly died a couple of times as a result. 

One summer day, in 1996, I was visiting my folks and I was emoting to one of the neighbors who was a family friend.  She was a woman about my age and I believed I could speak freely with her about my feelings.  Suddenly she just blurted out, "Brian, you need to get a life."  Oh man, that stung! I was devastated by her bluntness.  In retrospect, I believe she really did care about me and basically what she was saying was, "You need to do whatever it takes to pull yourself together."  But the thing is, she could have helped me more by being less blunt or at least starting with some empathy and then stressing the need for me to get down to the business of finding my way.  Eventually, I did find better coping methods and although I doubt I will ever be depression or anxiety free, I cope far better than I did in those days.

What I'm trying to say here (in what I hope are much kinder words than just "You need to get a life"!) is that ultimately what gets us to a better place is doing the hard work of finding and utilizing effective coping skills.  No one else can make us better.  We can (and I think should) receive empathy and caring from those who truly care about us and we would do well to not beat ourselves up. There are certainly times where we should go easy on ourselves, and give ourselves credit for any progress we make.  But at the same time, we would also do well to challenge ourselves to try harder, look for different strategies, get down to the business of healing ourselves.  As hard as this sounds, that work is hard to do.  But like anything worth accomplishing, the hard work pays off and the more we do it, the more we feel less negative about the hard work.  The hard work becomes our friend and savior.  And the sooner we do it, the sooner we get to have a better life and enjoy the things that bring us pleasure.  I can't emphasize this enough.  And lest anyone believe I think I have all the answers or am without pain or at times fall away from what I know to do, no, it is ongoing.  I have to remind myself of these things all the time.  At the same time, I've also reaped the benefits of the work.  And I'm still here and glad of it!

So let's support each other both with care and empathy as well as with encouragement to get down to the work we need to do.  Empathy is good and necessary but our own work is our salvation.

Would love to hear anyone share thought about all this.
"It's a sad and beautiful world"
-Roberto Benigni

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Comments

  • Shyner
    Shyner Posts: 1,226
    Hard work breeds self worth. 
    I'm working as we speak. 
    Wilco has a song that says
    What do i do when there's no lawn to mow
    I dread tomorrow morning. Anxiety. 
    I don't want to let you down but i don't know what i can do without work. 
    I'm on social security and can only work so much. 
    Again you are right we can only help ourselves. 
    It's comforting you being here with all your knowledge. I'll just sit back and read on. 
    Thanks to anyone who cares. Love to all
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
    Shyner said:
    Hard work breeds self worth. 
    I'm working as we speak. 
    Wilco has a song that says
    What do i do when there's no lawn to mow
    I dread tomorrow morning. Anxiety. 
    I don't want to let you down but i don't know what i can do without work. 
    I'm on social security and can only work so much. 
    Again you are right we can only help ourselves. 
    It's comforting you being here with all your knowledge. I'll just sit back and read on. 
    Thanks to anyone who cares. Love to all
    I didn't work much during my worst years either, Shyner.  Looking back on that time, I realize my most important job was getting myself into a better place.  That's probably the most important job for all of us though I know work (as in a job) can also be very therapeutic as long as it's not bringing you down.  Nowadays, I work as much as my body will allow.

    I care, Shyner.  Love to you too.
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • curmudgeoness
    curmudgeoness Brigadoon, foodie capital Posts: 4,130
    It is work, absolutely -- constant mental and physical effort. It's not like getting over a cold -- these issues don't just resolve themselves on their own. I've found that near-constant physical activity is as important for me as rewiring my brain is. People who don't know what it's like think I am joking when I say that I run for my mental health as well as my physical health, but it's no joke. I'm like a shark; I have to keep moving.
    All those who seek to destroy the liberties of a democratic nation ought to know that war is the surest and shortest means to accomplish it.
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
    curmudgeoness said:
    It is work, absolutely -- constant mental and physical effort. It's not like getting over a cold -- these issues don't just resolve themselves on their own. I've found that near-constant physical activity is as important for me as rewiring my brain is. People who don't know what it's like think I am joking when I say that I run for my mental health as well as my physical health, but it's no joke. I'm like a shark; I have to keep moving.
    Yes, "movement is life"!
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • camsjam
    camsjam Posts: 375
    Well said everyone above. I was going to say in America finding comfort and empathy from others can be difficult but based on posts from members in other countries it seems like mental issues are misunderstood around the world. It does help knowing there are others out there fighting their own battles who care and understand what a struggle it can be to get through a day. I guess we are the REAL Strangest Tribe. B)
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
    camsjam said:
    Well said everyone above. I was going to say in America finding comfort and empathy from others can be difficult but based on posts from members in other countries it seems like mental issues are misunderstood around the world. It does help knowing there are others out there fighting their own battles who care and understand what a struggle it can be to get through a day. I guess we are the REAL Strangest Tribe. B)
    Here's to the REAL!

    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • RogueStoner
    RogueStoner Sunny AZ Posts: 1,716
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • RogueStoner
    RogueStoner Sunny AZ Posts: 1,716
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    RogueStoner said:
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
    :pensive:
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    Excellent, RS!  Good show!
    RogueStoner said:
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
    A god sense of humor always help!  Slap away!  (Sorry,, Dankind :lol:  )
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • RogueStoner
    RogueStoner Sunny AZ Posts: 1,716
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    Excellent, RS!  Good show!
    RogueStoner said:
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
    A god sense of humor always help!  Slap away!  (Sorry,, Dankind :lol:  )
    :rofl:   I wasn’t referring to Dan. Not that he doesn’t deserve a good bitch slap, but I’m a little busy with one closer to me. 
  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    RogueStoner said:
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    Excellent, RS!  Good show!
    RogueStoner said:
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
    A god sense of humor always help!  Slap away!  (Sorry,, Dankind :lol:  )
    :rofl:   I wasn’t referring to Dan. Not that he doesn’t deserve a good bitch slap, but I’m a little busy with one closer to me. 
    :bring_it:
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • RogueStoner
    RogueStoner Sunny AZ Posts: 1,716
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    Excellent, RS!  Good show!
    RogueStoner said:
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
    A god sense of humor always help!  Slap away!  (Sorry,, Dankind :lol:  )
    :rofl:   I wasn’t referring to Dan. Not that he doesn’t deserve a good bitch slap, but I’m a little busy with one closer to me. 
    :bring_it:
    :kiss:  :smiley:
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
    RogueStoner said:
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    Excellent, RS!  Good show!
    RogueStoner said:
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
    A god sense of humor always help!  Slap away!  (Sorry,, Dankind :lol:  )
    :rofl:   I wasn’t referring to Dan. Not that he doesn’t deserve a good bitch slap, but I’m a little busy with one closer to me. 
    My bad! 

    uuuuuuuuuh oooooooooooh, does that mean I'm in for a good sound bitch slap?

    :worried:  :cry:
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    @brianlux :punch:
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • RogueStoner
    RogueStoner Sunny AZ Posts: 1,716
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    Excellent, RS!  Good show!
    RogueStoner said:
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
    A god sense of humor always help!  Slap away!  (Sorry,, Dankind :lol:  )
    :rofl:   I wasn’t referring to Dan. Not that he doesn’t deserve a good bitch slap, but I’m a little busy with one closer to me. 
    My bad! 

    uuuuuuuuuh oooooooooooh, does that mean I'm in for a good sound bitch slap?

    :worried:  :cry:
    Yup. I’m on my way!  ;)
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,662
    dankind said:
    @brianlux :punch:

    RogueStoner said:
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    Excellent, RS!  Good show!
    RogueStoner said:
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
    A god sense of humor always help!  Slap away!  (Sorry,, Dankind :lol:  )
    :rofl:   I wasn’t referring to Dan. Not that he doesn’t deserve a good bitch slap, but I’m a little busy with one closer to me. 
    My bad! 

    uuuuuuuuuh oooooooooooh, does that mean I'm in for a good sound bitch slap?

    :worried:  :cry:
    Yup. I’m on my way!  ;)
    Oh it hurts so BAD!  Do it again!
    :rofl:
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • RogueStoner
    RogueStoner Sunny AZ Posts: 1,716
    brianlux said:
    dankind said:
    @brianlux :punch:

    RogueStoner said:
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    Excellent, RS!  Good show!
    RogueStoner said:
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
    A god sense of humor always help!  Slap away!  (Sorry,, Dankind :lol:  )
    :rofl:   I wasn’t referring to Dan. Not that he doesn’t deserve a good bitch slap, but I’m a little busy with one closer to me. 
    My bad! 

    uuuuuuuuuh oooooooooooh, does that mean I'm in for a good sound bitch slap?

    :worried:  :cry:
    Yup. I’m on my way!  ;)
    Oh it hurts so BAD!  Do it again!
    :rofl:
    :rofl:
  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    brianlux said:
    dankind said:
    @brianlux :punch:

    RogueStoner said:
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    brianlux said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    Excellent, RS!  Good show!
    RogueStoner said:
    dankind said:
    RogueStoner said:
    I finally made an appointment with a therapist. I know it seems like such a simple step but I’ve been avoiding this for a very long time. But I’m ready and willing to learn and do the work required to cope and perhaps heal some day. This time, the moment I felt my depression lift in the slightest, I forced myself to start doing the things that help...exercise, eat better, spend time outdoors, etc. Yesterday was bad but overall, I’m feeling better each day. I’m hopeful. 

    Great timing with this thread, Brian. Thanks. :)
    :clap::clap::clap:
    The main reason I’m going now is so I don’t bitch slap someone. It’s getting close. 
    A god sense of humor always help!  Slap away!  (Sorry,, Dankind :lol:  )
    :rofl:   I wasn’t referring to Dan. Not that he doesn’t deserve a good bitch slap, but I’m a little busy with one closer to me. 
    My bad! 

    uuuuuuuuuh oooooooooooh, does that mean I'm in for a good sound bitch slap?

    :worried:  :cry:
    Yup. I’m on my way!  ;)
    Oh it hurts so BAD!  Do it again!
    :rofl:

    I SAW PEARL JAM

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