my world has turned to black

dasnuf
dasnuf Posts: 7
edited January 2008 in The Porch
I don't know why i am posting this here other than the fact pearl jam was such a big part of my relationship with my wife.i had seen pj 7 times always opening for the peppers so when i saw they were headlining at Randall's island i could not wait to get tickets, i called the special hot line ordered 4 tickets figuring i would give 2 to my buddy and his girl and i would find a date,about 2 weeks later i meet the girl who would change my world forever, obviously i invite her she says yes, and we go onto have one of the best dates ever, eddies voice is amazing, the sky opens up my buddy and his girl go running for cover but my baby shows me she is a trooper and gets right up front with me to enjoy the mud and music, the show ends and it takes like 4 hrs to get out of parking lot to some people this might sound like a nightmare, i would not change a thing we fell in love that day. i can't sing for sh*t but i would sing along to pj in the car all the time and she would always tell me how great i sounded.fast forward over 11 years and we are getting divorced mostly because of my own stupidity and i find myself finding so much new meaning in the lyrics, i think it might be the only thing getting me by.....

i know someday you'll have a beautiful life i know you'll be the star in
somebody else's sky
but why can't it be mine........
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • over bends
    over bends Posts: 1,568
    It's better to have loved and lost...

    Maybe?
    Yield!

    3 Decibels Doubles the Volume

    2006
  • tdub
    tdub Posts: 226
    ...been there at a point in my life. not divorce, but breakup with long-term relationship.

    isn't it funny how eddie's voice on "whhhhy...whhhy...WWWHHHHYY can it be in miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnneeeee..." rips your heart out when you can actually feel the same emotion he is singing with.

    good luck to you. i 'm sorry to hear the bad news.
  • meme
    meme Posts: 4,695
    I'm very sorry, that's tragic.
    Hopefully you'll be able to happily sing along "Parachutes" in the not too distant future...
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • hiding
    hiding Posts: 290
    fix whatever it is you screwed up. get counseling show her you will change.

    if she doesn't want it, then at least you tried.
    one love

    respect
  • Anon
    Anon Posts: 11,175
    no offense, but that has to be the biggest bummer of a first post i have ever seen. . . hopefully everything works out for you man. . .
  • allmyrivals
    allmyrivals Posts: 228
    You have just blown my mind......I'm going through almost the same thing. Mine started in 2003. We were together for a very short time before i took her to her first show from the Riot act tour. She has....well was my Pearl Jam partner for 8 more shows since then. So we did 9 shows together.
    And because of my stupidity, We have lost our relationship on Jan 1st.
    Pearl Jam was a huge glue in our relationship. So i find the songs are taking onnew meaning to me as well.

    The Loss is killing me. But it was my fault. So i'm gonna have to live with it.
    The thought of not having her next to me at my next PJ show..........very shitty.


    allmyrivals
    EVENFLOW PSYCHO #0031
    WHAAHYEAH!!
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    I honestly, honestly know what you're going through mate... Similar situation here. I was pretending I was fine for a while but my world is getting blacker and blacker as I realise I'm probably not.

    That said, I prefer this lyric: 'No matter how cold the winter, there's a springtime ahead.' With the optional extra 'I smile, but who am I kidding?' depending on how bad your day's been.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • JamMastaE
    JamMastaE Posts: 444
    i feel for you!! If you lived in Boston i'd take you out for a beer.

    when i split with the mother of my child i was on the edge...BUT as much as it sucks and as much as you wanna crawl in a dark corner and die,life does go on and time heals all wounds.

    I recommend surrounding yourself with close friends.

    take care dude
    "In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot". Mark Twain


    "I would rather die on my feet than to live on my knees."
    Emiliano Zapata
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    JamMastaE wrote:
    i feel for you!! If you lived in Boston i'd take you out for a beer.

    when i split with the mother of my child i was on the edge...BUT as much as it sucks and as much as you wanna crawl in a dark corner and die,life does go on and time heals all wounds.

    I recommend surrounding yourself with close friends.

    take care dude

    He's right. Surround yourself with close friends. And if you don't have any, become a pit addict, like me. ;)
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • dasnuf
    dasnuf Posts: 7
    you guys are great i half expected to get ripped for my post, i should have known better from pearl jam fans.
    thanxs guys still feel like sh*t but your words give me strength
    i don't know if i will ever feel better, but my thoughts are with those of you who posted going threw same crap ,maybe we are just not meant to be with one person for the rest of our lives as much as we would want to be
    thanks again everybody

    And these days, they linger on
    And I'm the night, as I'm waiting on
    The real possibility I may meet you in my dream
    I go to sleep
  • Odin
    Odin Posts: 599
    Nobody said life would be fair. Learn from your mistakes and move on. You're a grown adult, not an emotional teenager. Nothing pains me more than reading posts from middle-aged losers who possess the maturity of a 15 year-old.
  • brain of c
    brain of c Posts: 5,213
    over_bends wrote:
    It's better to have loved and lost...

    Maybe?


    than to have never lost at all.
    d'oh!!!!!!

    http://www.myspace.com/brain_of_c
  • Spinbrett
    Spinbrett Posts: 251
    I went through same thing.......if you know it was your fault, maybe it can be fixed. I was told you always need to reinvent yourself. Wake up tomorrow a better person, convince her to stay and make it work out. I am sometimes haunted myself, I think of the movie bladerunner...when your with someone so long you collect years of memories together. When you break up, your memories get lost like tears in the rain. I never forgot that from that movie. I no longer can say to my ex girlfriend..."remember when we....." and that still gives me nightmares....good luck and try to make it work.
  • dasnuf
    dasnuf Posts: 7
    Odin wrote:
    Nobody said life would be fair. Learn from your mistakes and move on. You're a grown adult, not an emotional teenager. Nothing pains me more than reading posts from middle-aged losers who possess the maturity of a 15 year-old.

    we all no life is not fair just wanted to vent a little and put my thoughts on paper ,but heartless pricks like you don't get that you call me a loser for missing a women i wanted to spend the rest of my life with,if that is the definition then you are right i am a loser and you obviously never cared about anything but yourself

    i wish you lots of luck dude you sound very empty inside
    i guess a those songs about loss and grief written by great artist like pj and others are all written by losers also
  • Spinbrett
    Spinbrett Posts: 251
    dasnuf, remember the rule, EVERY village has its idiot. Odin represents his village. That rule is ALWAYS true no matter where you are in the world or at any given time.
  • demetrios
    demetrios Posts: 97,872
    dasnuf, hope things do work out for you.
  • CitizenRick
    CitizenRick Posts: 1,079
    Odin wrote:
    Nobody said life would be fair. Learn from your mistakes and move on. You're a grown adult, not an emotional teenager. Nothing pains me more than reading posts from middle-aged losers who possess the maturity of a 15 year-old.

    He/She who lives in a glass house........

    Hello Mr/Mrs. perfect!
    "Had my eyes peeled both wide open, and I got a glimpse...of my innocense, got back my inner sence, baby got it...still got it"
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    dasnuf wrote:
    we all no life is not fair just wanted to vent a little and put my thoughts on paper ,but heartless pricks like you don't get that you call me a loser for missing a women i wanted to spend the rest of my life with,if that is the definition then you are right i am a loser and you obviously never cared about anything but yourself

    i wish you lots of luck dude you sound very empty inside
    i guess a those songs about loss and grief written by great artist like pj and others are all written by losers also

    Ignore Odin. He did it to me as well.. he's probably feeling just as empty as us, but for him it manifests in him being a prick.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • dasnuf
    dasnuf Posts: 7
    Spinbrett wrote:
    dasnuf, remember the rule, EVERY village has its idiot. Odin represents his village. That rule is ALWAYS true no matter where you are in the world or at any given time.

    your post made me smile
    thanks i needed that
  • dasnuf
    dasnuf Posts: 7
    thanks again for all your kind words
    i would love to reply to each one of the post but figured mass post to everyone is better you guys rock

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