Anxiety

Sprunkn7 · November 2015

HughFreakingDillon said:
anxiety has crippled me. it was the main reason I wasn't around here for a few months. I couldn't function. at first it manifested itself physically and emotionally....i was constantly shaking, my digestive system was not working properly, which caused me to basically stop eating and I lost 40 pounds in 2 months. I needed to anyway, but that wasn't the way I wanted to lose it. then I had the stress of people telling me I was "wasting away".

I was sleeping about 3 hours a night. Working full time. 2 kids under 10 years old. shit was exhausting. it didn't seem like life was ever going to be normal again.

I was very near suicide, to be honest. if I didn't have kids, I very well might not have chosen to keep on.

I finally went to my doc, got checked out physically, and when all of that was ruled out, he put me on meds (which I was on months ago, but went off). I can't believe I've still been able to work most days. Often I'd have to call in sick, but then I found I functioned even more poorly at home with nothing to do; I would sit literally in one spot for hours, thinking about death.

the dread: I was obsessing with the purpose of life. I couldn't figure out what the fuck we are doing here, what our purpose is, and why the hell I brought kids into such a horrible existence.

now the anxiety is pretty much gone, but now I have stabbing pains in my abdomen, sometimes lasting all day. it literally feels like someone is twisting a pair of scissors in my gut. it's awful. and no amount of pain relievers, legal and otherwise, do anything for it. got a CT scan, it came back 100% clear. my doc thinks it's muscle tension built up over time from all the anxiety.

My stomach gets all tied up knots when I have plans to go out or do something that is not at "home base" (close to a bathroom). it's been very limiting. I couldn't even go to a movie this past weekend.

we have a trip to Vegas booked in December. it was booked before all this went down. I'm terrified of going. My wife has been amazing through all of this. I don't want to let her down. the trip is for her 40th birthday, and another couple are meeting us there.

and anxiety is not actually a mental illness. mental illnesses cannot be cured. anxiety, or at least overactive anxiety, can be. it's a cognitive disorder. it's not a chemical imbalance.

wow, I feel for you!

Thoughts_Arrive · November 2015

Yep, it sucks. I am on SSRI medication. I hate the paranoid feeling of dread. Caffeine makes it flare up for me, sucks as I love coffee.

Thoughts_Arrive · November 2015

iluvcats said:
I thought my anxiety would be better if I quit working, not true. Because of the nerve damage and ringing in my ears, I had to quit listening to music and going to concerts. I really miss being the concert queen. My sweet cat is like therapy to me as well, til he wakes me up wanting attention. I miss "talking" to pearl jam fans here. I'm on facebook but have found that many on facebook (non pj fans) are bragging too much and they don't even realize it...

That is why I am afraid to go to concerts without earplugs. I got a bit of ringing in my right ear from years of loud music.

brianlux · November 2015

HughFreakingDillon said:
anxiety has crippled me. it was the main reason I wasn't around here for a few months. I couldn't function. at first it manifested itself physically and emotionally....i was constantly shaking, my digestive system was not working properly, which caused me to basically stop eating and I lost 40 pounds in 2 months. I needed to anyway, but that wasn't the way I wanted to lose it. then I had the stress of people telling me I was "wasting away".

I was sleeping about 3 hours a night. Working full time. 2 kids under 10 years old. shit was exhausting. it didn't seem like life was ever going to be normal again.

I was very near suicide, to be honest. if I didn't have kids, I very well might not have chosen to keep on.

I finally went to my doc, got checked out physically, and when all of that was ruled out, he put me on meds (which I was on months ago, but went off). I can't believe I've still been able to work most days. Often I'd have to call in sick, but then I found I functioned even more poorly at home with nothing to do; I would sit literally in one spot for hours, thinking about death.

the dread: I was obsessing with the purpose of life. I couldn't figure out what the fuck we are doing here, what our purpose is, and why the hell I brought kids into such a horrible existence.

now the anxiety is pretty much gone, but now I have stabbing pains in my abdomen, sometimes lasting all day. it literally feels like someone is twisting a pair of scissors in my gut. it's awful. and no amount of pain relievers, legal and otherwise, do anything for it. got a CT scan, it came back 100% clear. my doc thinks it's muscle tension built up over time from all the anxiety.

My stomach gets all tied up knots when I have plans to go out or do something that is not at "home base" (close to a bathroom). it's been very limiting. I couldn't even go to a movie this past weekend.

we have a trip to Vegas booked in December. it was booked before all this went down. I'm terrified of going. My wife has been amazing through all of this. I don't want to let her down. the trip is for her 40th birthday, and another couple are meeting us there.

and anxiety is not actually a mental illness. mental illnesses cannot be cured. anxiety, or at least overactive anxiety, can be. it's a cognitive disorder. it's not a chemical imbalance.

So glad you hung in there and you're still here!

JWPearl · November 2015

HughFreakingDillon said:
anxiety has crippled me. it was the main reason I wasn't around here for a few months. I couldn't function. at first it manifested itself physically and emotionally....i was constantly shaking, my digestive system was not working properly, which caused me to basically stop eating and I lost 40 pounds in 2 months. I needed to anyway, but that wasn't the way I wanted to lose it. then I had the stress of people telling me I was "wasting away".

I was sleeping about 3 hours a night. Working full time. 2 kids under 10 years old. shit was exhausting. it didn't seem like life was ever going to be normal again.

I was very near suicide, to be honest. if I didn't have kids, I very well might not have chosen to keep on.

I finally went to my doc, got checked out physically, and when all of that was ruled out, he put me on meds (which I was on months ago, but went off). I can't believe I've still been able to work most days. Often I'd have to call in sick, but then I found I functioned even more poorly at home with nothing to do; I would sit literally in one spot for hours, thinking about death.

the dread: I was obsessing with the purpose of life. I couldn't figure out what the fuck we are doing here, what our purpose is, and why the hell I brought kids into such a horrible existence.

now the anxiety is pretty much gone, but now I have stabbing pains in my abdomen, sometimes lasting all day. it literally feels like someone is twisting a pair of scissors in my gut. it's awful. and no amount of pain relievers, legal and otherwise, do anything for it. got a CT scan, it came back 100% clear. my doc thinks it's muscle tension built up over time from all the anxiety.

My stomach gets all tied up knots when I have plans to go out or do something that is not at "home base" (close to a bathroom). it's been very limiting. I couldn't even go to a movie this past weekend.

we have a trip to Vegas booked in December. it was booked before all this went down. I'm terrified of going. My wife has been amazing through all of this. I don't want to let her down. the trip is for her 40th birthday, and another couple are meeting us there.

and anxiety is not actually a mental illness. mental illnesses cannot be cured. anxiety, or at least overactive anxiety, can be. it's a cognitive disorder. it's not a chemical imbalance.

i feel for you Hugh i hope you know that caffeine sugar and alcohol just a little everyday can make it worse
and i tried many things but found abstaining from caffeine is the best thing but i couldnt do it
magnesium complete the great relaxer 4 a day i found works wonders and lifts your mood
you should try it..peace..

hedonist · November 2015

Hugh, I'm happy not just for you, but also for your children that you stayed for them. Obviously an unnecessary statement, but they need you.

Totally get the tension (those fucking stomach knots too), and good that you've got help in dealing with this.

Sounds like you've made great strides; please don't beat yourself up when the footing slips. Sounds like your wife is something else too. Believe me, as a wife who spent her 43rd birthday with her husband at the ER, we know who and what's important.

Keep on keeping on, my friend

iluvcats · November 2015

Thoughts_Arrive said:

iluvcats said:
I thought my anxiety would be better if I quit working, not true. Because of the nerve damage and ringing in my ears, I had to quit listening to music and going to concerts. I really miss being the concert queen. My sweet cat is like therapy to me as well, til he wakes me up wanting attention. I miss "talking" to pearl jam fans here. I'm on facebook but have found that many on facebook (non pj fans) are bragging too much and they don't even realize it...
That is why I am afraid to go to concerts without earplugs. I got a bit of ringing in my right ear from years of loud music.

I started wearing earplugs a long time ago. I was still wearing earplugs about 5 years ago and we had to leave concerts, too painful for my ears.

iluvcats · November 2015

HughFreakingDillon said:
anxiety has crippled me. it was the main reason I wasn't around here for a few months. I couldn't function. at first it manifested itself physically and emotionally....i was constantly shaking, my digestive system was not working properly, which caused me to basically stop eating and I lost 40 pounds in 2 months. I needed to anyway, but that wasn't the way I wanted to lose it. then I had the stress of people telling me I was "wasting away".

I was sleeping about 3 hours a night. Working full time. 2 kids under 10 years old. shit was exhausting. it didn't seem like life was ever going to be normal again.

I was very near suicide, to be honest. if I didn't have kids, I very well might not have chosen to keep on.

I finally went to my doc, got checked out physically, and when all of that was ruled out, he put me on meds (which I was on months ago, but went off). I can't believe I've still been able to work most days. Often I'd have to call in sick, but then I found I functioned even more poorly at home with nothing to do; I would sit literally in one spot for hours, thinking about death.

the dread: I was obsessing with the purpose of life. I couldn't figure out what the fuck we are doing here, what our purpose is, and why the hell I brought kids into such a horrible existence.

now the anxiety is pretty much gone, but now I have stabbing pains in my abdomen, sometimes lasting all day. it literally feels like someone is twisting a pair of scissors in my gut. it's awful. and no amount of pain relievers, legal and otherwise, do anything for it. got a CT scan, it came back 100% clear. my doc thinks it's muscle tension built up over time from all the anxiety.

My stomach gets all tied up knots when I have plans to go out or do something that is not at "home base" (close to a bathroom). it's been very limiting. I couldn't even go to a movie this past weekend.

we have a trip to Vegas booked in December. it was booked before all this went down. I'm terrified of going. My wife has been amazing through all of this. I don't want to let her down. the trip is for her 40th birthday, and another couple are meeting us there.

and anxiety is not actually a mental illness. mental illnesses cannot be cured. anxiety, or at least overactive anxiety, can be. it's a cognitive disorder. it's not a chemical imbalance.

I hope your stomach feels better! When I was 13 and my mom was going through another divorce, I would wake up so nauseated (probably dreading another day of stress at home), it was hard for me to eat my cereal. In bed, I would worry over the stupidest things now that I look back....but it was severe anxiety. It was great that my mom left my abusive step father, but then her next relationship involved alot of fighting :( My step father did not abuse me or my sister, his anger was directed at his son.

It's 3:30 a.m. and I don't know how I'll go back to sleep, this ringing in my ears is driving me crazy, it is so high pitched. At least I don't have to go to work but am meeting friends for lunch.

I have had knots in my stomach too when I was around people I didn't like and I was trying to still tolerate them.

Hugh, is the other couple your wife's friends?

Thoughts_Arrive · November 2015

iluvcats said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

iluvcats said:
I thought my anxiety would be better if I quit working, not true. Because of the nerve damage and ringing in my ears, I had to quit listening to music and going to concerts. I really miss being the concert queen. My sweet cat is like therapy to me as well, til he wakes me up wanting attention. I miss "talking" to pearl jam fans here. I'm on facebook but have found that many on facebook (non pj fans) are bragging too much and they don't even realize it...
That is why I am afraid to go to concerts without earplugs. I got a bit of ringing in my right ear from years of loud music.
I started wearing earplugs a long time ago. I was still wearing earplugs about 5 years ago and we had to leave concerts, too painful for my ears.

That sucks. Sorry to hear.
I use Quiet Please plugs by Flent.
They are great they block out a lot.
A drummer I jammed with told me they're the best he has used when I gave him a pair.

iluvcats · November 2015

Thoughts_Arrive said:

iluvcats said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

iluvcats said:
I thought my anxiety would be better if I quit working, not true. Because of the nerve damage and ringing in my ears, I had to quit listening to music and going to concerts. I really miss being the concert queen. My sweet cat is like therapy to me as well, til he wakes me up wanting attention. I miss "talking" to pearl jam fans here. I'm on facebook but have found that many on facebook (non pj fans) are bragging too much and they don't even realize it...
That is why I am afraid to go to concerts without earplugs. I got a bit of ringing in my right ear from years of loud music.
I started wearing earplugs a long time ago. I was still wearing earplugs about 5 years ago and we had to leave concerts, too painful for my ears.
That sucks. Sorry to hear.
I use Quiet Please plugs by Flent.
They are great they block out a lot.
A drummer I jammed with told me they're the best he has used when I gave him a pair.

Really? I'll have to get some then, if they will fit my tiny ears. I didn't leave the 2013 Pearl Jam concert early though (I had them REALLY stuck into my ears, then a teen made fun of my bright orange ear plugs in the bathroom though with a left handed compliment by telling me she liked my earplugs.)

Thoughts_Arrive · November 2015

iluvcats said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

iluvcats said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

iluvcats said:
I thought my anxiety would be better if I quit working, not true. Because of the nerve damage and ringing in my ears, I had to quit listening to music and going to concerts. I really miss being the concert queen. My sweet cat is like therapy to me as well, til he wakes me up wanting attention. I miss "talking" to pearl jam fans here. I'm on facebook but have found that many on facebook (non pj fans) are bragging too much and they don't even realize it...
That is why I am afraid to go to concerts without earplugs. I got a bit of ringing in my right ear from years of loud music.
I started wearing earplugs a long time ago. I was still wearing earplugs about 5 years ago and we had to leave concerts, too painful for my ears.
That sucks. Sorry to hear.
I use Quiet Please plugs by Flent.
They are great they block out a lot.
A drummer I jammed with told me they're the best he has used when I gave him a pair.
Really? I'll have to get some then, if they will fit my tiny ears. I didn't leave the 2013 Pearl Jam concert early though (I had them REALLY stuck into my ears, then a teen made fun of my bright orange ear plugs in the bathroom though with a left handed compliment by telling me she liked my earplugs.)

These ones are white.
Noise reduction rating of 29 decibels.

Thoughts_Arrive · November 2015

Forgot to add, U.S made and you can buy on Amazon but I hot mine from a pharmacy.

HughFreakingDillon · November 2015

iluvcats said:

HughFreakingDillon said:
anxiety has crippled me. it was the main reason I wasn't around here for a few months. I couldn't function. at first it manifested itself physically and emotionally....i was constantly shaking, my digestive system was not working properly, which caused me to basically stop eating and I lost 40 pounds in 2 months. I needed to anyway, but that wasn't the way I wanted to lose it. then I had the stress of people telling me I was "wasting away".

I was sleeping about 3 hours a night. Working full time. 2 kids under 10 years old. shit was exhausting. it didn't seem like life was ever going to be normal again.

I was very near suicide, to be honest. if I didn't have kids, I very well might not have chosen to keep on.

I finally went to my doc, got checked out physically, and when all of that was ruled out, he put me on meds (which I was on months ago, but went off). I can't believe I've still been able to work most days. Often I'd have to call in sick, but then I found I functioned even more poorly at home with nothing to do; I would sit literally in one spot for hours, thinking about death.

the dread: I was obsessing with the purpose of life. I couldn't figure out what the fuck we are doing here, what our purpose is, and why the hell I brought kids into such a horrible existence.

now the anxiety is pretty much gone, but now I have stabbing pains in my abdomen, sometimes lasting all day. it literally feels like someone is twisting a pair of scissors in my gut. it's awful. and no amount of pain relievers, legal and otherwise, do anything for it. got a CT scan, it came back 100% clear. my doc thinks it's muscle tension built up over time from all the anxiety.

My stomach gets all tied up knots when I have plans to go out or do something that is not at "home base" (close to a bathroom). it's been very limiting. I couldn't even go to a movie this past weekend.

we have a trip to Vegas booked in December. it was booked before all this went down. I'm terrified of going. My wife has been amazing through all of this. I don't want to let her down. the trip is for her 40th birthday, and another couple are meeting us there.

and anxiety is not actually a mental illness. mental illnesses cannot be cured. anxiety, or at least overactive anxiety, can be. it's a cognitive disorder. it's not a chemical imbalance.
I hope your stomach feels better! When I was 13 and my mom was going through another divorce, I would wake up so nauseated (probably dreading another day of stress at home), it was hard for me to eat my cereal. In bed, I would worry over the stupidest things now that I look back....but it was severe anxiety. It was great that my mom left my abusive step father, but then her next relationship involved alot of fighting :( My step father did not abuse me or my sister, his anger was directed at his son.

It's 3:30 a.m. and I don't know how I'll go back to sleep, this ringing in my ears is driving me crazy, it is so high pitched. At least I don't have to go to work but am meeting friends for lunch.

I have had knots in my stomach too when I was around people I didn't like and I was trying to still tolerate them.

Hugh, is the other couple your wife's friends?

Yes, her best friend and her husband.

Sprunkn7 · November 2015

I use the flents air plane ones. for some reason they work great for me. I always forget I have them in. comfy, make the music clearer if that's possible, and cheap.

brianlux · November 2015

One interesting fact about attenuating sound that my audiologist told me about is that the best ear plus or ear plug/ ear muffs combination in the world can only block out about 40 dBs. Anything beyond that goes to the ears via our skeletal structure... which is why going to the dentist and having hyperacusis not so fun! Another example...

...anyone remember "Bone Phones"?

http://www.retrothing.com/2006/01/the_bone_fone_r.html

It's great to see support here for those of us challenged with anxiety issues. Much appreciated, good people!

Sprunkn7 · November 2015

brianlux said:
One interesting fact about attenuating sound that my audiologist told me about is that the best ear plus or ear plug/ ear muffs combination in the world can only block out about 40 dBs. Anything beyond that goes to the ears via our skeletal structure... which is why going to the dentist and having hyperacusis not so fun! Another example...

...anyone remember "Bone Phones"?

http://www.retrothing.com/2006/01/the_bone_fone_r.html

It's great to see support here for those of us challenged with anxiety issues. Much appreciated, good people!

bone conduction is a wild thing

hedonist · November 2015

Sprunkn7 said:
bone conduction is a wild thing

Sure sounds like it could be

2-feign-reluctance · November 2015

brianlux said:

hedonist said:
Been there many a time, B.

To say it's difficult is an understatement.

What do you do when it hits? Know the cause, if any?

Sometimes I try to breathe, at least focus on the process of my body doing so, and other times just go with it and ride that wave best I can.

Hope it passes soon.
Thank Hedo. For me, some times it just comes out of the blue like some vague non-specific dread. Other times its caused more directly by things I can't identify like unusual sounds which is what got to me tonight. There was this weird metallic grinding going on in the dark just down from us- not that it was spooky, just that it was unrecognizable. Instead of just being irritating, for some reason it ignited some pretty intense anxiety.

Breathing is what I've heard most often is good to do. I'll have to try to remember to do that more. Usually I just try to engage my brain with something like computer card games or computer chess and wait for it to pass. I like the way you put it- "ride the wave best I can."

Thanks for the empathy- that helps!

Therapy and medication are the most effective. I put mine in remission about 6 years ago now, but had to do the hard work.

JWPearl · November 2015

bright side of anxiety..
look at me i believe im a decent person if i didnt suffer anxiety i wouldnt be such a caring considerate sensative love giving person and i would instead be self centered and egotistical destroying every friendship i had because id be seeking attention from off every tom dick and harry and not considering how that affects me personally or others feelings...
it also makes you appreciate family more and become more of a strong foundation and bond
which makes you not allow other to penetrate and destroy and you value your member more
and you get more satisfaction out of something ridiculously simple like a meal with family or a hug and kiss goodnight things we take for granted or abuse with strangers
yes anxieties bright side..

iluvcats · November 2015

Thoughts_Arrive said:
Forgot to add, U.S made and you can buy on Amazon but I hot mine from a pharmacy.

Thank you

Anxiety

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