to each their own

Leezestarr313 said:

I didn't mean that gender specific, just the fact that you don't know in advance what you're gonna get. I have been to cemeteries here and seen tombstones where names of people who are still alive were already engraved. Other people get all excited about buying all blue or pink stuff or need to have a "theme" for the bay room. Everybody likes things like that in a different way. I would prefer not knowing what gender it is and would not try to manipulate the birthdate if I can avoid it. That is what I meant

OK, gotcha! Yeah, we didn't know the sex of my niece and nephew until they were born - although I called it both times! Just had a sense.

dignin, me too. It's good stuff.

Leezestarr313 said:

Congratulations from me too

Thanks Leeze

PJ_Soul said:

I don't see why it makes a difference what day a baby is born on, or if it's scheduled or not. A birthday is a birthday. As someone who was born via a scheduled c-section (because my mom had a hellish time with my older sister naturally; even in 1976 this warranted a scheduled c-section), I can say that it didn't matter to my mom or anyone else. But i guess I'm from a family who doesn't romanticize stuff like child birth or birthdays (we don't even care if we celebrate our bdays on the actual day or a month later or whenever; all any of our bdays are is an excuse to get together). The idea that child birth should be like a surprise party by not knowing the gender or some kind of mystical event that could be ruined because you know the day it will happen ahead of time is a bizarre concept to me. As far as i can tell it's actually just a rather painful, messy, and more or less stressful event with a happy ending, and my mother and sister (the ones with the kids) concur. As long as the mother and baby are healthy and things go okay, and the dad is supportive and not a jackass, if around, the rest seems irrelevant.

I find it super interesting how the opinions and customs differ with this. See, if your mom had a scheduled c-section because of a traumatic birth before, that is understandable. And of course in cases like that all the other stuff I talked about becomes less important because the safety of mom and baby is what counts. Well, like in every birth.
And of course a birth is messy and painful and all that. And all your points above are important. But to me, it still holds some kind of magic in it. It is nothing that a machine can do for you. I don't know ...

As for birthdays, in our family the birthday was always even more important than christmas or other festivities. Getting together as a family is always nice, no matter what the occasion, but the birthday is always your individual special day. Where I come from, we also say that it is bad luck if somebody celebrates beforehand.
I have also noticed that people in America are not set on the celebration of the birthday on the actual birthday. It is always a little irritating to me, but maybe it has to do with sheer logistics of bringing people into one spot? Everybody does it their way, and this is a good thing.

I was born on Thanksgiving.I love it now when it rolls around that way,it's always a great celebration with Football,family and Food.But as a lil kid I used to feel like my bday would get overshadowed by all the other thanksgiving activities and attention was placed elsewhere.

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

Hopefully soon there will be no distinction between a natural birth and a C-section. The delivery method would simply be called a birth.

I'm curious as to why you hope for this? There are some important distinctions worth discussing.

Sure, using the term "vaginal birth" is more accurate and is what would be used by the attendants (doctors, nurses, midwives, etc.), rather than "natural". I think, though, that this thread does highlight that there are differences between the two methods; this is not a value judgment, simply fact. Ideally the facts would be discussed and used to make the best decision at the time, which would not then lead to endless worry, rehashing, and criticism later on.

Labour and birth can be a frightening experience that takes people by surprise with how intense it is, and how little they are prepared for the realities.

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

oftenreading said:

Sure, using the term "vaginal birth" is more accurate and is what would be used by the attendants (doctors, nurses, midwives, etc.), rather than "natural". I think, though, that this thread does highlight that there are differences between the two methods; this is not a value judgment, simply fact. Ideally the facts would be discussed and used to make the best decision at the time, which would not then lead to endless worry, rehashing, and criticism later on.

Labour and birth can be a frightening experience that takes people by surprise with how intense it is, and how little they are prepared for the realities.

Yes this thread does highlight the differences between the two methods.

My comment was a mixture of what I felt about the third comment of this thread and my feelings on using the word "natural" when describing a delivery.

I just think that anyone to be thought of as an idiot for choosing a certain delivery method is an archaic way of thinking.

I don't know if I agree with the last sentence or not. I think the reason for the choice is important. Is it convenience? It certainly does happen that way, and the ethics behind that are a little questionable, given the uncertainty of the long-term effects of surgical birth.

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

dignin said:

I guess in my mind people who schedule c-sections for non medical reasons are idiots.

I was referring to this^^^

Strong language... I am a huge fan of speaking boldly, with the ever present risk of putting one's foot directly into one's mouth. To quote of of my top ten favorite authors, Ralph Waldo Emerson...
“Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today."
I tend to agree with the sentiment of that post. It isn't smart in my opinion. Everybody gets to choose their path through life though, but I am unafraid to admit that judging others' paths is part of the fun of walking my own trail lol! (Of course I mean "judging" in a very light sense...not actually condemning people in a binding or permanent way...in most cases lol)

CM189191 said:

If you have the time, Ricki Lake (yes, that Ricki Lake) did a really interesting documentary on c-sections & natural childbirth call the The Business of Being Born. I went to a screening with a friend of mine who is a midwife.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvljyvU_ZGE

In short, most c-sections are scheduled for the convenience of the doctor/hospital. They happen most frequently leading up to 5pm & midnight so the doctor can get home on time. Or so they can schedule as many childbirths in a given day.

Or for liability purposes - if anything goes wrong, they immediately turn to c-section. If there's a lawsuit, the doctor can then argue "we did everything we could".

My fiancee is a pediatric therapist and is learning how natural birth is critical to developing certain reflexes causing sensory processing disorders.

Wow, that reflex stuff is very interesting stuff. Thanks for that.

And I also watched that Ricki Lake documentary a few years back and it was very eye opening.