How much is too much?

Miss Terri
Miss Terri Bucksport, ME USA Posts: 24
edited December 2013 in Words and Music...Communication
Pearl Jam's music is a very big part of my life, therapeutically, spiritually, emotionally. The music is always there for me, never disappoints, never lets me down. The issue I am having is that my significant other doesn't get it and tells me that this "obsession" that I have with PJ is very much like something a teenager goes has and that since I am in my late 40's, maybe I need some kind of help. Let it be known that I have only seen them in concert once and have only seen Eddie solo once. It's not like I am chasing them around the globe (I would if I could...lol). My love of the band does not interfere with my job, nor my family responsibilities. Apparently, by clipping a dozen articles from Rolling Stone magazine and driving 200 miles to see them was just too much for him to take.

Thank you for letting me vent. Does anyone else ever experience this type of reaction with their significant other?
Makes much more sense to live in the present tense....

Vedder-Boston 6/16/2011
Pearl Jam~Worcester, MA 10/15/2013
Pearl Jam~Fenway Park 8/07/2016
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Comments

  • Jamminonthe1
    Jamminonthe1 Posts: 1,243
    Sounds like a real loser. (Not you.) :lol:
  • Miss Terri
    Miss Terri Bucksport, ME USA Posts: 24
    :lol:
    Makes much more sense to live in the present tense....

    Vedder-Boston 6/16/2011
    Pearl Jam~Worcester, MA 10/15/2013
    Pearl Jam~Fenway Park 8/07/2016
  • Emm
    Emm Posts: 196
    I hardly think you fit the bill of "obsessive" .... maybe let him peruse the forum here .... he might get some perspective! :lol:

    As for your question ... How much is to much?? .... I guess it depends who you ask! LOL ... you asked the fans so ... TO MUCH PJ :shock: ... You can never have to much!
    Breath, breathe, engulfing .... Consuming, so beautiful ... Life ...
  • rtwilli4
    rtwilli4 Posts: 261
    It probably has something to do with the fact that you are a female, your partner is a male, and Eddie Vedder is... well... Eddie Vedder.

    To be honest, I think it's sad that some people never find anything to love, be passionate about, and even obsess over. For me it has been snowboarding, rock climbing, live music, Pearl Jam... at one point in my life it was alcohol and parties and other things that are much much worse for me that a little Pearl Jam.

    He's just jealous. Trust me, I know. My wife gets a little jealous when she sees my jaw drop at PJ shows. In turn, I get a little jealous when Eddie comes down off the stage and looks her in the eye during Porch. It's all in good fun. If your partner doesn't get that, then the problem is bigger than Pearl Jam, and that's pretty big.
  • Last-12-Exit
    Last-12-Exit Charleston, SC Posts: 8,661
    tell your significant other to get the fuck off your back. it sounds like he has some Dick envy.
  • KCjam
    KCjam Posts: 145
    It certainly does not like you are in the "Obsession" category by any means.

    I am male and when I met my paramour 14 years ago, she was not a PJ fan at all. Now I believe she is almost (Not quite) the bigger fan! Especially of Eddie and the solo shows. She is becoming a bit obsessed. This is a good thing to me.

    Keep on enjoying PJ. Have fun. I just turned 45 and feel like my interest in many things has subsided a lot, but with PJ only a tad bit.
  • Miss Terri
    Miss Terri Bucksport, ME USA Posts: 24
    Thank you all for your insight and support! We seem to be working through this "issue" and he is doing much better. After much discussion and mutual understanding, we are on the right path. You each made some great points and I feel so much better about everything and for having a place to go where I could "vent". Love my Jamily and will always be true to my heart. My guy was really having some insecurity issues, like you suggested, and it caught me off guard because he has never reacted like that about anything. Now, let the records play ;)
    Makes much more sense to live in the present tense....

    Vedder-Boston 6/16/2011
    Pearl Jam~Worcester, MA 10/15/2013
    Pearl Jam~Fenway Park 8/07/2016
  • Beck..
    Beck.. Posts: 535
    Yeah it's a big sticking point in my relationship,she just doesn't get it,still hasn't forgot about the trip to pj20 when she was 8 months pregnant,I get all the "you love pearl jam more than me" shit,just ignore it,works best for me.
  • Miss Terri
    Miss Terri Bucksport, ME USA Posts: 24
    ;):)
    Makes much more sense to live in the present tense....

    Vedder-Boston 6/16/2011
    Pearl Jam~Worcester, MA 10/15/2013
    Pearl Jam~Fenway Park 8/07/2016
  • Versus13
    Versus13 Vancouver, BC Posts: 197
    Obsession??? You mean dedication
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  • Tony Ferraro
    Tony Ferraro CT Posts: 4
    My wife thought I was a little obsessed until I took her to three PJ shows last year. Now she gets it!!!
    inside job
  • BinFrog
    BinFrog MA Posts: 7,314
    My wife enjoys 1 show per tour, and she understands my passion for this band's music so she tolerates it. It's not her "thing", but she doesn't even come close to trying to stop me from going to multiple shows/etc.

    If he is passionate about something else, then he needs to shut up. If not, then he needs to go find something to be passionate about. I'm passionate about a handful of bands, and a lot of other things...my wife understands this. If she didn't, we couldn't possibly make our marriage work.

    (and I agree: to call someone obsessive who has only been to show is kind of silly)
    Bright eyed kid: "Wow Typo Man, you're the best!"
    Typo Man: "Thanks kidz, but remembir, stay in skool!"
  • karmadefect
    karmadefect Posts: 806
    How much is too much?

    Well I do sometimes wonder if I should switch more and listen something else more often.
    I sometimes figure I might feel less enthousiastic about listening to Pearl Jam because of over kill.
    For me that would be too much. :D

    My girlfriend doesn't think I am obsessed, but she would love it if I would listen to something other than Pearl Jam more often.
    I can't help it, finding the best take on Even flow just requires alot of listening.
    It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

    2006 Arnhem 2007 Werchter 2009 Rotterdam 2010 Nijmegen 2010 Werchter
    2012 Amsterdam 1 2012 Amsterdam 2 2014 Amsterdam 1 2014 Amsterdam 2
    2014 Berlijn
  • PJfanwillneverleave1
    PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    The questions about my listening habits of Pearl Jam have been less over the years since my wife fell in love in with NFY (in 2006!!!) and her first live concert. (London)

    20plus years of listening is hard to impress upon your other half until you find a way to make them see/listen to what you mean and if it takes flying across the globe or travelling 200kms do it - they will thank you later.

  • marilor
    marilor St Etienne, France Posts: 618
    I could have written the first post !!
    My boyfriend thinks I'm obsessed too (i'm just 35...but I really love PJ for 20 years like a teenager and I will love them (and Ed) forever...
    Nevertheless, I went to a PJ show with him in 2006 ... but he didn't like it !! (don't understand).I really would like he gets in but he has no passion, doesn't like Art but PJ music is a big part of my life. So i choose to ignore differences between us and to focus on our common points. Now we had a little cute daughter and arguments between us are about other problems... :-?
    "We were but stones, ...Your light made us stars"
  • Miss Terri
    Miss Terri Bucksport, ME USA Posts: 24
    Love all of your comments and stories! Most of all, the support that I find here in the Club! All is well, now, and I'm on my way to Detroit in October! Woot! Woot!
    Makes much more sense to live in the present tense....

    Vedder-Boston 6/16/2011
    Pearl Jam~Worcester, MA 10/15/2013
    Pearl Jam~Fenway Park 8/07/2016
  • marilor
    marilor St Etienne, France Posts: 618
    Miss Terri said:

    Love all of your comments and stories! Most of all, the support that I find here in the Club! All is well, now, and I'm on my way to Detroit in October! Woot! Woot!

    So happy for you !!! too far for me...
    "We were but stones, ...Your light made us stars"
  • BRAIN0FJAY
    BRAIN0FJAY Charleston, WV Posts: 990
    Tony Ferraro said:

    My wife thought I was a little obsessed until I took her to three PJ shows last year. Now she gets it!!!

    Same deal...I'm not 100% sure my wife "gets it", but there is some understanding after I took her to Pittsburgh last year. (I have to admit though, I have a hell of a good time when I go "solo" or with some long time PJ fan/buddies)
    ...So much talk it makes no sense at all...
  • Evnflo
    Evnflo Johns Island SC Posts: 33
    Nonsense. My satellite stays on xm 22. I can , and you can relate to their music and lyrics because they sing about realistic problems with realistic people. It helps me to know that this band is as emotionally attached to their fan base and respectful to them as we are to the band. Does that make them in need of help? Me, I will scream my lungs out to any pearl jam song. If it helps you to get through, how can it be wrong? How much difference does it make? With love. Evnflo
    Remember back, the early days, When you were young, and thus amazed, suddenly the channel changed the first time you saw blood.
  • osteoblastic
    osteoblastic St Cloud, MN Posts: 47
    I am definitely more obsessed than my husband and I do occasionally have to preface what I say with "Ok, I know I sound like a little fangirl, but..."

    Our relationship is one of mutual respect, and I don't need my husband to be into everything I'm into. I also understand how annoying it is for someone to go on and on about their thing when it's not my thing. So, he will engage in some PJ talk with me now and again and he shows some general curiosity about them, and in exchange I try to keep an eye on how many hours I've been looping a particular album on our living room speakers... :P He even asked to go with me to my first show in October!

    When I feel like wallowing in my PJ love, I come on here, or blast the speakers out in my car on drives, or watch PJ interviews or live videos. If my husband wasn't ok with that, or my occasional PJ rant to him, we would have issues. It's all give and take :)
    I gotta say it now, better loud than too late. 2014-10-19 St Paul, MN

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