Chained and silenced
Aafke
Posts: 1,219
Chained and silenced
Chained not only to the bed…,
Connected not only to the needle …,
But shackled to the silence…,
Not allowed to speak…
Not allowed to feel…
Wanna cry out for help
But no one listens
Learning quickly to shut up…
Trying to be brave…
Fleeing in my mind, fleeing in fantasy…
Trying to feel nothing to survive…
Building up walls to hide my feelings inside…
Wanna cry out for help
But who cares?
Behind the walls I survived
Always on the lookout…anxious
How do they expect me to act…
Faking what they wanna see…
But damaged … inside and outside.
Wanna cry out for help
But don’t know how anymore
Frightened, angry and sad…
No one sees cause I won’t let them…
Always pretending… to be strong and independent…
But fragile, lonely and broken …
I stay behind… so lonely
Wanna cry out for help
But imprisoned behind the walls,
There is no escape…
See trough the tough mask…
See the pain…see the fear…
Hear the cry…
Please, listen to me this one time
Speak out for me because I can’t any more
Wanna cry out for help
But no one listens
Wanna cry out for help
But who cares?
Wanna cry out for help
But don’t know how anymore
Wanna cry out for help
But imprisoned behind the walls,
There is no escape…
Help me to help myself…
Help me… cry out
Chained not only to the bed…,
Connected not only to the needle …,
But shackled to the silence…,
Not allowed to speak…
Not allowed to feel…
Wanna cry out for help
But no one listens
Learning quickly to shut up…
Trying to be brave…
Fleeing in my mind, fleeing in fantasy…
Trying to feel nothing to survive…
Building up walls to hide my feelings inside…
Wanna cry out for help
But who cares?
Behind the walls I survived
Always on the lookout…anxious
How do they expect me to act…
Faking what they wanna see…
But damaged … inside and outside.
Wanna cry out for help
But don’t know how anymore
Frightened, angry and sad…
No one sees cause I won’t let them…
Always pretending… to be strong and independent…
But fragile, lonely and broken …
I stay behind… so lonely
Wanna cry out for help
But imprisoned behind the walls,
There is no escape…
See trough the tough mask…
See the pain…see the fear…
Hear the cry…
Please, listen to me this one time
Speak out for me because I can’t any more
Wanna cry out for help
But no one listens
Wanna cry out for help
But who cares?
Wanna cry out for help
But don’t know how anymore
Wanna cry out for help
But imprisoned behind the walls,
There is no escape…
Help me to help myself…
Help me… cry out
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
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It seems like you're starting to help yourself by writing your thoughts down where other people can read them. Communication is a good place to start.&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0
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Thanks, yes that was the idea...
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
that is beautifulfor poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce0 -
Thanks...
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
Very touching...
Wish you were here...
♥~RIP Dad0 -
OK, I did post this one somewhere else on this site. But was the inspiration for this former poet. They do belong together. :oops:
Connected with pain
Connected not only to the needle
Chained not only to the bed
By force interwoven with silence
Shackled onto loneliness
Melted with fear
Integrated with incomprehension
Cry out for help
But no one listens
No one cares
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
This one belongs also to this place at the forum, also posted somewhere else on this site, but it belongs also to this topic. This happened about twenty years later but belongs to the same topic...Sorry. Maybe one day I'll explain what this is all about, or maybe I don't... we'll see if I find the words....
Blind
Running for my first photo gig
Out of breath, black spots in my sight
Became black clouds, bleedings in my eyes
Clouding my view
I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it
The doctors confirmed my fear
Shooting lasers in my eyes to slow the process down
Treatment after treatment, operation after operation
But the damage done was irreversible
I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it
Wasn’t able to work no more
Being focused on my sight
Couldn’t handle being confronted with my loss, time after time
But by making art… I feel
I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw … I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it
Fear, panic, despair, hopeless and furious
It all grew in me while treatments failed
Couldn’t handle it, overwhelming as it where
Terrified off losing myself….Suicide? Yes
I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it
In despair making up my mind
Stop feeling or go down
Trying to survive, grabbing onto live
Pulling my feeling deep inside vaulted behind bars
I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it
Survive, survive, survive…
All of this to survive…
Not to become totally insane and show the emotional storm inside
I Threw away the key of that prison
I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it
Still alive, still able to see a fraction of what I used to see
Feelings firmly locked behind bars
Amazing fear is what has remained
But feeling is healing…my art using as crowbar,
I begin to feel again, I begin to live again
I saw it happening in my eyes
I saw, I saw… I was going blind
And there was nothing I could do to stop it
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
Dependent of that shot
Always looking for a balance…
Always on the edge…
Scared…
Frightened…
Depending on a needle….
Dependent of that shot…
Not by choice,
but out of pure necessity…
Shooting too little…
Going out…
Shooting too much…
Conscious is also lost…
I can’t feel it coming until it’s too late…
Now I am on my own again…
It’s scaring…
Because I can’t feel it until it’s too late…
Depending on my boys, if I go out…
But it’s not their responsibility…
It's not theirs, it’s mine…
So I act strong and independent…
Until I lose conscious again…
The sirens scream…
Needles put into place…
Slowly I regain conscious…
But when they’re not around…
I am lost….
I can’t cry out any more…
Slipping in and out of conscious…
Unable to speak…
Unable to move…
Feeling so helpless, so scared…
Knowing that I can die out here…
Knowing that I did depend too much on my ex…
Help me to stay alive…
Now that help is gone….
I have to do it on my own…
Conscious is lost again…
I have to move ….
I have to find help…
Unable to move…
I lay helpless on the floor…
I have to cry out…
But I can only softly moan …
I have to...
I have...
I...
Out I go again…
Why can’t I be free?
FUCKING DISEASE!Post edited by Aafke on
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
Chained and silenced
Post edited by Aafke on
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
No way out...
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
Who's imprisoned in this madness?
This little snow fox shows how I felt when I made it...
But he can show his madness, while the spectators don't show any sign of emotions...
Well who is behind the bars?
Who's more imprisoned?
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
Hospital... fallen into decay
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
Aafke wrote:Chained and silenced
Chained not only to the bed…,
Connected not only to the needle …,
But shackled to the silence…,
Not allowed to speak…
Not allowed to feel…
Wanna cry out for help
But no one listens
Learning quickly to shut up…
Trying to be brave…
Fleeing in my mind, fleeing in fantasy…
Trying to feel nothing to survive…
Building up walls to hide my feelings inside…
Wanna cry out for help
But who cares?
Behind the walls I survived
Always on the lookout…anxious
How do they expect me to act…
Faking what they wanna see…
But damaged … inside and outside.
Wanna cry out for help
But don’t know how anymore
Frightened, angry and sad…
No one sees cause I won’t let them…
Always pretending… to be strong and independent…
But fragile, lonely and broken …
I stay behind… so lonely
Wanna cry out for help
But imprisoned behind the walls,
There is no escape…
See trough the tough mask…
See the pain…see the fear…
Hear the cry…
Please, listen to me this one time
Speak out for me because I can’t any more
Wanna cry out for help
But no one listens
Wanna cry out for help
But who cares?
Wanna cry out for help
But don’t know how anymore
Wanna cry out for help
But imprisoned behind the walls,
There is no escape…
Help me to help myself…
Help me… cry out
Pretty much sums up how I feel right now.
Thank you, very well written.Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/20140 -
I am sorry, you feel this way right now... I hope that it will give you any comfort to know that you're not the only one... I hope you'll find some release. I know I did.
Without darkness there will be no light...
Post edited by Aafke on
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
Cannot find a release. Only temporary relief.Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/20140
-
Thoughts_Arrive wrote:Cannot find a release. Only temporary relief.
Maybe temporary relief is a start?
Out of my own experience I know how difficult it is, to share the storm of emotions with flowed inside my head. It looked like more easy to play the role off a strong and independent person. But by hiding my true feelings to myself, I became more lonely and isolated.
I believe it's not healthy to keep all your problems to yourself. It's like building up a dam inside your own head. But as with a real dam in a river, the water (emotions) are building up behind that dam, become more and more powerful. I believe it's more healthy to flow along with the water (emotions) in that river. The water takes the lighter obstacles with the flow and changes it's course when the obstacles are to heavy. I believe that damming this flow takes a lot more power than flowing with it. By damming it you become estranged from yourself, and the fear is given room to grow.
How you choose to express your emotions is entirely up to what feels fit for you. For me it's writing and making it visually. Sharing these kind of emotions is in my opinion not weakness, but strength. It takes a lot of courage to show your weakness and fragility. But feeling is healing....
This one is called: Many faces
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
Well let this piece speak for itself.... I'm curious what you will see in it.
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
Aafke wrote:Well let this piece speak for itself.... I'm curious what you will see in it.
A conflicted person, someone with many thoughts and feelings.Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/20140 -
Thoughts_Arrive wrote:Aafke wrote:Well let this piece speak for itself.... I'm curious what you will see in it.
A conflicted person, someone with many thoughts and feelings.
Nice one...
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0 -
Well, here's an other one. Also here what do you see in it? Please let me know.
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed".- Carl Jung.
"Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see."- Paul Klee0
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