John, I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't experienced loss of this magnitude but I have experienced loss in other forms and will say it is so important to lean on people around you, and don't squash your emotions. Someone once told me it is important to feel no matter what it is you're going through when I was at my crummiest and for whatever reason, that gave me a lot of comfort so I hope that gives you some comfort too.
Human beings are incredibly resilient, you will be OK again someday so have faith in that. What that looks like no one knows but just know that you will be OK again. For now, take one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
Hey there John, as everyone said, so so sorry for what happened. I don't really know what to say other than what's already been said, the only thing I can think of is to just not hold it in; and I would keep listening to PJ for support as I'm sure you've been doing. I'm sure they've gotten people through a lot of different things and I hope they can do the same for you. Music is powerful, I know it won't change anything completely, but maybe it'll ease the pain just a bit. Stay strong man, all the best. Peace.
"And i listen, for the voice inside my head... Nothin'... I'll do this one myself."
5/21/10- MSG
9/2/11- PJ20 1
9/3/11- PJ20 2
9/2/12- Made in America, Philly
So sorry for your loss John. And im so sorry for everyone involved.
Right now everything may seem crazy and overwhelming. But you will feel better soon. Hold tight to the memories you have with her. Those memories will go a long way in helping you grieve. I wish you peace and comfort in this time of need.
We are all here for you.
2008 - MSG 6/24-6/25
2010 - Newark 5/18 MSG 5/21
2011 - PJ20 9/3-9/4
2012 - MIA Festival 9/2
2013 - Wrigley Field 7/19 Brooklyn 10/18-10/19 Philly 10/22
2015 - Colbert show - 9/23 Global Citizens Festival 9/26
2016 - Philly 4/28-4/29 MSG 5/1-5/2
Hi John, I am so sorry for your lost, my thoughts are with you, and I hope these hard times are over soon... remember me to your soulmate parents and sister...
... I am not in the business of being liked anymore ...
Keep your chin up John. I spent my 20s losing my entire family to cancer. Looking back over the last ten years, I can honestly say I made the decision to give life the big fuck you and live everyday to its fullest. You owe it to yourself and especially to the one you have lost to do so. Spend the time you need to mourn, then hit the ground running and push life to its fullest. Experience everything you can. The pain will eventually get easier. It will never go completely away and that is okay. The important thing is you keep on going and give it hell for as many years as you have left.
Man, my heart just breaks for you. Your wounds and bleeding now will become scars and memories later. Those will become the way you honor your past. But that's not to be glib- I realize all you feel right now is pain and loss. Just don't forget the reason you feel it: You are still here. And your job is to keep those memories alive- it's that burden you feel so acutely at this very moment. You need to remember this and take care of you right now (and let others help). It's time to break down so you can start again. There is no right way to grieve.
Very sad to hear about your loss. Wishing you peace and solace.
Vancouver, GM Place 2005
Vancouver, GM Place 2009
Seattle, EV Solo, Benaroya Hall 2011
Winnipeg, MTS Center, 2011
Manchester, June 2012
Phoenix, EV Solo, Comerica Theatre 2012
Wishing you and the families all the strength you need in the mourning period and hope you all find some comfort from all the posts here..You and yours are in the hearts of many of us
My deepest condolences to all,be strong and lean on each other
May the memories of the good times you shared together fill the emptiness left in your heart.
{{{HUGS}}} to you.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your prayers. I need them now. This evening is the wake, and it will be extremely tough to see my sweet girl once again, yet departed from this life. I was lucky to share love with such an amazing woman for so long, some are never so lucky.
I'm also giving a eulogy at her funeral tomorrow morning. I'm praying she gives me the strength to get through it. She was my world. I'm doing y best to make her proud during this extremely tough time.
Thank you all for your continued concern and support. It means the world.
MSG 7/8-7/9/03 -- Boston 9/28/04 -- Hartford 5/13/06 -- Boston 5/24-5/25/06 -- MSG 6/24-6/25/08 -- Hartford 6/27/08 -- Philly 10/31/09 -- Hartford 5/15/10 -- Boston 5/17/10
Hang in there. Talk to anybody who'll listen. Lean on anybody who'll provide support. And know that you have my and countless other members of this forum's deepest sympathies and that you are in our thoughts (as well as other friends and family members impacted by this tragic and senseless loss).
Finally, if you can't keep it together during her eulogy, it's OK. If ever there was a time when it's acceptable to break down, her funeral would be it.
I read this yesterday and couldnt put words down. Then I found myself thinking of you last night. I cant imagine what you are going through, but I wish you the best. I'm terribly sorry to hear of your loss. So sorry...
John,
I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling. People are going to say some stupid shit to you- like she's in a better place and she's an angel now. Bullshit. The best place for her is in your loving arms- but that is the one thing you can't have.Ignore those people. You will dream of her and wake up wondering if she is alive and you are just confused. You will smell her and think she is in the next room. You will see something and think- she would've loved that- I wish I could tell her about it.You will see someone in a crowd who kinda looks like her and you will have to go check to make sure its not her. This never stops- it doesn't really get better- sorry it just doesn't. There is a hole in your heart that will never be filled. You will think you are having a good day and then bam- like a wave to the face- you will be in tears. And it is this way because you are part of eachother forever and you loved her. But you will get better at living without her because you have to- its a non-negotiable. You must live for her too now. Find things that make you crazy happy and love harder than ever. There will be people that understand and people that don't. Stick with the understanding peeps and you will be just fine. And listen to lots of Pearl Jam- its gotten me through some tough times.
Love to you and yours.
tori
Lolla Alpine Valley 8/29/92 ,Key Arena 11/5/00 , Key Arena 11/6/00, NOLAJazzfest 5/1/10, Wrigley 7/19(20)/13, SD 11/21/13, LA 11/23/13, LA 11/24/13, Bridge School 2014, Wrigley 8/20/16, Wrigley 8/22/16, Seattle 2018 both nights!
EV Long Beach 7/6/11 , LA Wiltern (miracled in) 7/8/11
Devastating news . . . . sorry to hear. Take care of yourself and stay strong. Seek support from friends and family. You'll heal. Slowly, but time will help.
And above all, listen to some good old PJ. It will help a ton. My wife's dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in November and Eddie helped me through it for sure....
Vent here on the forum if you need to. Ask us questions. Spill your feelings if you can't do it with someone in person. In addition to friends and family, we're all willing to provide words of help. Even we can't contribute with a hug or a talk in person, reading some of the words this community will write will help too....
"No matter how cold the winter, there's a springtime ahead."
Barrie 08/22/98 Montreal 10/04/00 Toronto 10/05/00 Toronto 06/28/03 Kitchener 09/11/05 Ottawa 09/16/05 Toronto 08/21/09 Toronto 09/11/11 Ottawa 09/14/11 Buffalo 10/12/13 Ottawa 05/08/16 Chicago 08/20/18 Ottawa 09/03/22 Nashville 09/16/22
Hey John, I'm so sorry to hear this. These words are hard to write and may be hard to read but this is a tragic event and should be mourned as such. You have this last chance to say good-bye and let her and everyone else know how much she meant to you. Don't let being the strong one get in the way of that. Let someone else assume that role. You and her loved ones will be in my thoughts and prayers. Kevin
Hang in there John. I have lost people very close to me and it takes time. I do not know if you ever completely get over it and I feel my loses have changed me. I do know in time it has made me realize how precious my life is and not to take anything for granted. Make sure you surround yourself with a support group and take good care of yourself both physically and mentally. It may sound shallow but Pearl Jam music and other favorite bands did help me. So do whatever you need to do to feel better and stay healthy. My thoughts are with you- sending good vibs!!!
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my father in a car accident 19 years ago, and while it is different than losing a soul mate, I know what it's like to lose someone you're close to in such a sudden and unexpected way.
There's nothing that canyone can say that will really help, but I'll just say allow yourself to grieve. Don't hold it in. I know you want to be strong for others but you're hurting too! Grieving together can help...just knowing that other people are feeling what you are feeling can make you seem less alone.
You will feel better in time. I know it seems impossible but you will. You'll never forget her, nor should you, but the raw pain you feel right now will eventually start to dull and life will go on...
I have no idea if this will help and don't mean it to sound callous or mean, so please don't take it in that way.
A friend of mine who lost his wife (also a close friend of mine) very suddenly to swine flu in 2009 explained to me he got through it by coming to terms with the fact that this was "the new normal". Nothing he could do would change that and even though he felt lost, angry and confused, he had to be strong for their two young boys and even though he was falling apart, could not afford to for them.
He did not throw himself into work or drugs or any other crutch, he just tended to himself and his closest and started getting his life back together under the new rules he had to play.
I have lost people in my life but nothing like your loss so I can't say I understand what your going through. I can imagine it would be very tough though. We are all here for you though mate and I send you and her family my deepest sympathy.
“ "Thank you Palestrina. It’s a wonderful evening, it’s great to be here and I wanna dedicate you a super sexy song." " (last words of Mark Sandman of Morphine)
Adelaide 1998
Adelaide 2003
Adelaide 2006 night 1
Adelaide 2006 night 2
Adelaide 2009
Melbourne 2009
Christchurch NZ 2009
Eddie Vedder, Adelaide 2011
PJ20 USA 2011 night 1
PJ20 USA 2011 night 2
Adelaide BIG DAY OUT 2014
Comments
Human beings are incredibly resilient, you will be OK again someday so have faith in that. What that looks like no one knows but just know that you will be OK again. For now, take one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
We're all here for you.
Hugs and lots of love.
5/21/10- MSG
9/2/11- PJ20 1
9/3/11- PJ20 2
9/2/12- Made in America, Philly
Right now everything may seem crazy and overwhelming. But you will feel better soon. Hold tight to the memories you have with her. Those memories will go a long way in helping you grieve. I wish you peace and comfort in this time of need.
We are all here for you.
2010 - Newark 5/18 MSG 5/21
2011 - PJ20 9/3-9/4
2012 - MIA Festival 9/2
2013 - Wrigley Field 7/19 Brooklyn 10/18-10/19 Philly 10/22
2015 - Colbert show - 9/23 Global Citizens Festival 9/26
2016 - Philly 4/28-4/29 MSG 5/1-5/2
give yourself time
prays for you & her family..
Vancouver, GM Place 2009
Seattle, EV Solo, Benaroya Hall 2011
Winnipeg, MTS Center, 2011
Manchester, June 2012
Phoenix, EV Solo, Comerica Theatre 2012
Thoughts and prayers to all affected
Wishing you and the families all the strength you need in the mourning period and hope you all find some comfort from all the posts here..You and yours are in the hearts of many of us
My deepest condolences to all,be strong and lean on each other
Much love and a big digital hug of comfort to all
h8 2 w8 for concerts
I am so sorry for your loss. You, your girlfriend, and your girlfriend's family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace,
Susan
{{{HUGS}}} to you.
- Christopher McCandless
I'm also giving a eulogy at her funeral tomorrow morning. I'm praying she gives me the strength to get through it. She was my world. I'm doing y best to make her proud during this extremely tough time.
Thank you all for your continued concern and support. It means the world.
Hang in there. Talk to anybody who'll listen. Lean on anybody who'll provide support. And know that you have my and countless other members of this forum's deepest sympathies and that you are in our thoughts (as well as other friends and family members impacted by this tragic and senseless loss).
Finally, if you can't keep it together during her eulogy, it's OK. If ever there was a time when it's acceptable to break down, her funeral would be it.
Sending you the warmest thoughts I can muster.
I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling. People are going to say some stupid shit to you- like she's in a better place and she's an angel now. Bullshit. The best place for her is in your loving arms- but that is the one thing you can't have.Ignore those people. You will dream of her and wake up wondering if she is alive and you are just confused. You will smell her and think she is in the next room. You will see something and think- she would've loved that- I wish I could tell her about it.You will see someone in a crowd who kinda looks like her and you will have to go check to make sure its not her. This never stops- it doesn't really get better- sorry it just doesn't. There is a hole in your heart that will never be filled. You will think you are having a good day and then bam- like a wave to the face- you will be in tears. And it is this way because you are part of eachother forever and you loved her. But you will get better at living without her because you have to- its a non-negotiable. You must live for her too now. Find things that make you crazy happy and love harder than ever. There will be people that understand and people that don't. Stick with the understanding peeps and you will be just fine. And listen to lots of Pearl Jam- its gotten me through some tough times.
Love to you and yours.
tori
EV Long Beach 7/6/11 , LA Wiltern (miracled in) 7/8/11
And above all, listen to some good old PJ. It will help a ton. My wife's dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in November and Eddie helped me through it for sure....
Vent here on the forum if you need to. Ask us questions. Spill your feelings if you can't do it with someone in person. In addition to friends and family, we're all willing to provide words of help. Even we can't contribute with a hug or a talk in person, reading some of the words this community will write will help too....
"No matter how cold the winter, there's a springtime ahead."
Montreal 10/04/00
Toronto 10/05/00
Toronto 06/28/03
Kitchener 09/11/05
Ottawa 09/16/05
Toronto 08/21/09
Toronto 09/11/11
Ottawa 09/14/11
Buffalo 10/12/13
Ottawa 05/08/16
Chicago 08/20/18
Ottawa 09/03/22
Nashville 09/16/22
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my father in a car accident 19 years ago, and while it is different than losing a soul mate, I know what it's like to lose someone you're close to in such a sudden and unexpected way.
There's nothing that canyone can say that will really help, but I'll just say allow yourself to grieve. Don't hold it in. I know you want to be strong for others but you're hurting too! Grieving together can help...just knowing that other people are feeling what you are feeling can make you seem less alone.
You will feel better in time. I know it seems impossible but you will. You'll never forget her, nor should you, but the raw pain you feel right now will eventually start to dull and life will go on...
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
A friend of mine who lost his wife (also a close friend of mine) very suddenly to swine flu in 2009 explained to me he got through it by coming to terms with the fact that this was "the new normal". Nothing he could do would change that and even though he felt lost, angry and confused, he had to be strong for their two young boys and even though he was falling apart, could not afford to for them.
He did not throw himself into work or drugs or any other crutch, he just tended to himself and his closest and started getting his life back together under the new rules he had to play.
Take time for you and do what works for you.
Peace and sympathy.
Adelaide 1998
Adelaide 2003
Adelaide 2006 night 1
Adelaide 2006 night 2
Adelaide 2009
Melbourne 2009
Christchurch NZ 2009
Eddie Vedder, Adelaide 2011
PJ20 USA 2011 night 1
PJ20 USA 2011 night 2
Adelaide BIG DAY OUT 2014