Question for the men

_ · February 2012

kellanazzie wrote:

Of course, tickets could be scarse for the next "Evolutionary Mating Practices of Baboons & the Hierarchial Nature Pertaining to Sibling Rivalry" event :? (still can't get over that amazing convo )

_ · February 2012

One thing I may have forgotten to mention: For what it's worth, I did shoot him an email on Sunday that just said, "Thanks for the lemonade on Thursday. I enjoyed our conversation."

I did enjoy our conversation and I do still think he's interesting. A friendship might be nice. But friendships usually develop more naturally, with people you actually see somewhat regularly.

Carey · February 2012

_ wrote:

One thing I may have forgotten to mention: For what it's worth, I did shoot him an email on Sunday that just said, "Thanks for the lemonade on Thursday. I enjoyed our conversation."

I did enjoy our conversation and I do still think he's interesting. A friendship might be nice. But friendships usually develop more naturally, with people you actually see somewhat regularly.

Your email sounds perfect, short but sweet. Seems like now it is up to him to reply??

I agree with your perspective about friendships -- and in particular, I think friendships with the opposite sex develop more naturally with regular contact.

ZiggyStar · February 2012

Hmmm....since we've all been picking apart every strategy and email etc....and I'm being totally over-analytical here....

I personally think replying to a THURSDAY coffee with a SUNDAY email is too long to wait....it almost feels weird. It would be hard for him to know how to reply imo. Does he say "thanks to you too" and leave it at that? Seems a bit rude. A "thanks" email would have been suitable on Thursday/Friday since you both wouldn't have had enough time to really process it yet....he'd genuinely be saying "thanks" to your thanks. But now it is 4 days down the track, he's definitely had processing time and if he replies and says "thanks", he probably now feels the need to follow it up with either yay or nay to meeting up again. Especially since he knows you've processed the coffee meet up and probably now want to follow it up with more contact....otherwise you wouldn't have emailed him 4 days later. But then again, he could also be wondering if you even want to go out again because you didn't mention it 4 days later....now he may be stuck in limbo not sure how to respond because he doesn't know where you stand.

A purely "thanks" email would have been more appropriate on Thursday/Friday. The Sunday email should have contained a "shall we meet for coffee and a chat again?"....so the intention of the Sunday email was clear.

But that's just me.

LikeAnOcean · February 2012

As a guy, I would say, we do most of the chasing.. not in every case, but most.

If you think he's he's not persueing, move on.. and don't think of it as anything against you.

Shoot him one more email, but don't take offensive if he doesn't catch.. there may be somebody else, he might even not swing that way, but love is more chemical than it is mental.

Took me 32 years to find somebody I really love and loves me back and 15 months into it, I realize everyday is new territory...

Keep talking to those guys you are attracted to though, even if this one fails.. Believe it or not, I've passed on many girls, attracted to me or not, because I thought they wouldn't talk to me.. Be agressive! If we are attracted , we will like it.

I've come to learn, love isn't really complicated at all.. just takes the right person, and it's really rather simple.. If it's complicated, it's because it's with the wrong person.

Don't ever give up.. I've had many fails, but made it to a point where I'm happier than ever.. If you would have asked me how I was doing 2 Valentines days ago, I would have said I'll probably be single forever.

_ · February 2012

ZiggyStar wrote:

Hmmm....since we've all been picking apart every strategy and email etc....and I'm being totally over-analytical here....

I personally think replying to a THURSDAY coffee with a SUNDAY email is too long to wait....it almost feels weird. It would be hard for him to know how to reply imo. Does he say "thanks to you too" and leave it at that? Seems a bit rude. A "thanks" email would have been suitable on Thursday/Friday since you both wouldn't have had enough time to really process it yet....he'd genuinely be saying "thanks" to your thanks. But now it is 4 days down the track, he's definitely had processing time and if he replies and says "thanks", he probably now feels the need to follow it up with either yay or nay to meeting up again. Especially since he knows you've processed the coffee meet up and probably now want to follow it up with more contact....otherwise you wouldn't have emailed him 4 days later. But then again, he could also be wondering if you even want to go out again because you didn't mention it 4 days later....now he may be stuck in limbo not sure how to respond because he doesn't know where you stand.

A purely "thanks" email would have been more appropriate on Thursday/Friday. The Sunday email should have contained a "shall we meet for coffee and a chat again?"....so the intention of the Sunday email was clear.

But that's just me.

Yeah, I agree that it would have been more appropriate on Thursday or Friday. There are two reasons I waited: 1. I was really busy. (Not the best reason, I know, since it doesn't take much time to send a short email.) 2. I wasn't going to email him at all because I didn't want to seem too eager, but then my politeness got the better of me.

Oh well. We'll see what happens.

_ · February 2012

LikeAnOcean wrote:

As a guy, I would say, we do most of the chasing.. not in every case, but most.

If you think he's he's not persueing, move on.. and don't think of it as anything against you.

Yeah, this is how I tend to feel too. I haven't chased a man yet and I don't intend to start now. On the other hand.... I was starting to wonder if that's an unfair double-standard. :?

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Shoot him one more email, but don't take offensive if he doesn't catch.. there may be somebody else, he might even not swing that way, but love is more chemical than it is mental.

I know there's someone else because he was on a date when I first saw him. I just don't know what's up with them. I thought it was casual, but it could be more serious. Or, even if it's casual, that doesn't mean he has the time or inclination to go out with more than one person at a time.

LikeAnOcean wrote:

Took me 32 years to find somebody I really love and loves me back and 15 months into it, I realize everyday is new territory...

Keep talking to those guys you are attracted to though, even if this one fails.. Believe it or not, I've passed on many girls, attracted to me or not, because I thought they wouldn't talk to me.. Be agressive! If we are attracted , we will like it.

I've come to learn, love isn't really complicated at all.. just takes the right person, and it's really rather simple.. If it's complicated, it's because it's with the wrong person.

Don't ever give up.. I've had many fails, but made it to a point where I'm happier than ever.. If you would have asked me how I was doing 2 Valentines days ago, I would have said I'll probably be single forever.

I agree that love isn't complicated if you find the right person. It's just actually finding that person to begin with that's complicated. I'm sure there are lots of great guys out there, but I meet fewer and fewer of them these days.

I'm not even looking for anyone, really. I'm quite happy being single. I was just excited that I ran across one I thought I could really like, which rarely happens. Oh well.

_ · February 2012

Carey wrote:

_ wrote:

One thing I may have forgotten to mention: For what it's worth, I did shoot him an email on Sunday that just said, "Thanks for the lemonade on Thursday. I enjoyed our conversation."

I did enjoy our conversation and I do still think he's interesting. A friendship might be nice. But friendships usually develop more naturally, with people you actually see somewhat regularly.

Your email sounds perfect, short but sweet. Seems like now it is up to him to reply??

I agree with your perspective about friendships -- and in particular, I think friendships with the opposite sex develop more naturally with regular contact.

Yep. It's a shame, though, because there are some really amazing people (men & women) in the world whose friendship I think I would enjoy, but it's never going to happen since they aren't somehow part of my life already.

rick1zoo2 · February 2012

sheesh, just jump his bones already and get on with it. enough with all this overthinking and analysis.

81 · February 2012

rick1zoo2 wrote:

sheesh, just jump his bones already and get on with it. enough with all this overthinking and analysis.

this...

just text him.....say....if you aren't busy tonight, i have some work for ya...and send a picture of your who ha

kellanazzie · February 2012

81 wrote:

and send a picture of your who ha

Interesting....side shot?...from the floor shot & use a big toe to take picture?
...across the room shot, 5 sec delay? longest 5 secs EVER...

iluvcats · February 2012

I don't think it would be wise to continue to email him at his work email address since he did not reply to Sunday's email.

can we see an edited pic of his hair from your sister? maybe photoshop it and put a black square over his eyes to protect his identity.

81 · February 2012

iluvcats wrote:

I don't think it would be wise to continue to email him at his work email address since he did not reply to Sunday's email.

can we see an edited pic of his hair from your sister? maybe photoshop it and put a black square over his eyes to protect his identity.

yeah..those black squares do wonders. :roll:

RedMosquito22 · February 2012

_ wrote:

How would you take it if a woman you didn't know had the hots for you & wanted to go out? How could the woman best approach the situation with you?

It doesn't take much. You really don't have to woo a guy. Just approach him and talk to him.

81 · February 2012

RedMosquito22 wrote:

_ wrote:

How would you take it if a woman you didn't know had the hots for you & wanted to go out? How could the woman best approach the situation with you?

It doesn't take much. You really don't have to woo a guy. Just approach him and talk to him.

dimitrispearljam · February 2012

RedMosquito22 wrote:

_ wrote:

How would you take it if a woman you didn't know had the hots for you & wanted to go out? How could the woman best approach the situation with you?

It doesn't take much. You really don't have to woo a guy. Just approach him and talk to him.

81 · February 2012

did you send him a valentines day card?

_ · February 2012

81 wrote:

did you send him a valentines day card?

polaris_x · February 2012

ok ... so i'm in the middle of shooting a 37 on the back 9 of some golf course in north carolina last week and i found myself wondering if _ scored ...

turns out not yet ...

my gut feeling after catching up is that he is probably seeing someone ... it's probably newish but it's getting more serious ...

don't fret tho ... a guy who sings barry manilow at an open karaoke event is 89% more likely to not give to get ... read it in a scientific journal ... serious ...

_ · February 2012

polaris_x wrote:

ok ... so i'm in the middle of shooting a 37 on the back 9 of some golf course in north carolina last week and i found myself wondering if _ scored ...

polaris_x wrote:

turns out not yet ...

my gut feeling after catching up is that he is probably seeing someone ... it's probably newish but it's getting more serious ...

Yeah, I have to admit the girl he was on a date with when I first saw him was all kinds of attractive. If I were him, I'd still be seeing her.

polaris_x wrote:

don't fret tho ... a guy who sings barry manilow at an open karaoke event is 89% more likely to not give to get ... read it in a scientific journal ... serious ...

I'm not even entirely sure what that means, but it still cracked me up. I'd like to read that journal!

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