Question for the men

1…3638404142

Comments

  • rick1zoo2
    rick1zoo2 between a rock and a dumb place Posts: 12,632
    polaris_x wrote:
    rick1zoo2 wrote:
    _ wrote:
    We talked about biological determinism and his theory on how religion may have an evolutionary effect on male mating practices. We talked about the hierarchical nature of friend & sibling relationships in humans and how they relate to baboon interaction.

    wow. is this the kinds of stuff other couples talk about? :?

    first time i met my gf we talked about social constructs and the corruption of the political state and the ultimate need for revolution ... :lol:

    now that I think about it, early on, we didn't do that much talking........ :mrgreen:
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    Black Diamond wrote:
    _ wrote:
    It's funny, because on one hand I thought it was great & felt like we had that in common because those are the kinds of conversations I enjoy having but my friends always tell me to avoid with guys. On the other hand, he was being über-intellectual & it almost made me feel uncomfortable/inadequate because I haven't studied that stuff in a really long time & rarely do have such conversations anymore.

    It's sounds like you held your own... I am feeling inadequate reading the subject of the conversation :lol:
    Don't put yourself down...
    You put yourself out there... He had to do no work and it sounds like you talked well beyond what he thought would be the length...

    All awesome signs...

    Thanks. Although I don't think I was particularly articulate, I was at least able to keep up with the conversation.

    I think I'm feeling kind of down about it this morning because I had a bad dream last night that I was at some activity of his in the music department & I totally didn't fit in - and then my sister showed up & made me look like an ass. :lol:

    I'm just kind of feeling like he & I are in different worlds. What makes me sad is that I'd like to be in that world (regardless of him) - and I feel like I used to be - but I'm not now. For instance, I asked what music he listens to & he said Bach. Like, exclusively right now. About 15 years ago, I listened to a lot of Bach. He was my favorite composer. My boyfriend was a classical guitar major & performed his music for me all the time. I was taking an entire course on the local symphony orchestra & went to every show. I even TA'ed the music appreciation course. 15 years ago, I could have a conversation about Bach - his history, his musical style, the pieces I liked best & why. Now I can't even remember what century he was from or one song he composed. :( It's the curse if my horrible memory. I can become an expert on something & then forget everything about it within a couple years of not actively using the information. I really hate that.

    I'm starting to wish we had talked more about reproductive health, which is my current area of expertise. He started talking about it early on, but I avoided saying much because I'm really passionate about the subject & that's not usually the kind of conversation people have the first time they meet. Had I known that's the kind of conversation we were going to have and really presented my thoughts on the subject, I probably would have come across more like I at least knew something.

    You're right, though, that we talked longer than we planned. I don't know if that was indicative of a good conversation or just if he took too long to tell me about the last thing he was talking about.
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    polaris_x wrote:
    rick1zoo2 wrote:
    _ wrote:
    We talked about biological determinism and his theory on how religion may have an evolutionary effect on male mating practices. We talked about the hierarchical nature of friend & sibling relationships in humans and how they relate to baboon interaction.

    wow. is this the kinds of stuff other couples talk about? :?

    first time i met my gf we talked about social constructs and the corruption of the political state and the ultimate need for revolution ... :lol:

    Sounds like a great conversation to me! No wonder you fell for each other. :thumbup:
  • Black Diamond
    Black Diamond Posts: 25,109
    Look, everyone goes through points in their life where they love one thing or another... Changing taste is a sign of growing not forgetting. If you loved Bach that much, start listening again. I grew up a HUGE Bach fan... especially the Fugue's... Been to a ton of chamber music concerts... but it has been years. Does not mean I am not still a fan and would listen if given the opportunity. I would and do. It's something my father in law and I have in common. But I feel more complete because I have expanded into other musical interests, including this band... Just because he listens to Bach only, does not make him more adequate... In fact, sounds like he needs to expand his horizon a little.

    You sound like a person who is passionate and has experienced a ton... Don't let anyone make you feel that you are not tops...

    Now about horrible memories... I am the worst.
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    _ wrote:
    Thanks. Although I don't think I was particularly articulate, I was at least able to keep up with the conversation.

    I think I'm feeling kind of down about it this morning because I had a bad dream last night that I was at some activity of his in the music department & I totally didn't fit in - and then my sister showed up & made me look like an ass. :lol:

    I'm just kind of feeling like he & I are in different worlds. What makes me sad is that I'd like to be in that world (regardless of him) - and I feel like I used to be - but I'm not now. For instance, I asked what music he listens to & he said Bach. Like, exclusively right now. About 15 years ago, I listened to a lot of Bach. He was my favorite composer. My boyfriend was a classical guitar major & performed his music for me all the time. I was taking an entire course on the local symphony orchestra & went to every show. I even TA'ed the music appreciation course. 15 years ago, I could have a conversation about Bach - his history, his musical style, the pieces I liked best & why. Now I can't even remember what century he was from or one song he composed. :( It's the curse if my horrible memory. I can become an expert on something & then forget everything about it within a couple years of not actively using the information. I really hate that.

    I'm starting to wish we had talked more about reproductive health, which is my current area of expertise. He started talking about it early on, but I avoided saying much because I'm really passionate about the subject & that's not usually the kind of conversation people have the first time they meet. Had I known that's the kind of conversation we were going to have and really presented my thoughts on the subject, I probably would have come across more like I at least knew something.

    You're right, though, that we talked longer than we planned. I don't know if that was indicative of a good conversation or just if he took too long to tell me about the last thing he was talking about.

    no need to feel sad ... sounds like a decent time ... he probably will want to get together again ...

    although i gotta say - dude listens to bach exclusively now!?? ... that seems off kilter ... screams of pretentiousness ... but i'm probably wrong ... :lol:
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    hmmm

    i'm gonna need a second date with this guy before i determine what's up :think: ;)
  • titchinello
    titchinello Posts: 3,139
    _ wrote:
    How would you take it if a woman you didn't know had the hots for you & wanted to go out? How could the woman best approach the situation with you?


    just go up to him with a friend of yours, get your friend to tap him on the shoulder, when he turns around get your friend to say " hi have you met ( your name)
    Glasgow cathouse-1992-2-23, San diego sports arena-1995-11-06 & 07, Glasgow secc-2000-06-03, Tampa st petes times forum-2003-04-13, London O2 arena-2009-08-18, Belfast odyssey arena-2010-06-23.Leeds 2014 - 07-08
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    titchinello wrote:
    _ wrote:
    How would you take it if a woman you didn't know had the hots for you & wanted to go out? How could the woman best approach the situation with you?


    just go up to him with a friend of yours, get your friend to tap him on the shoulder, when he turns around get your friend to say " hi have you met ( your name)


    :lol::lol::lol:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    so if we have determined we don't want to date this guy....can we at least have a sordid affair with him.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • JonnyPistachio
    JonnyPistachio Florida Posts: 10,219
    norm wrote:
    hmmm

    i'm gonna need a second date with this guy before i determine what's up :think: ;)
    81 wrote:
    so if we have determined we don't want to date this guy....can we at least have a sordid affair with him.

    haha, "we"! :lol:
    maybe _ is nervous because she was channeling the boards while on her date.
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    no no ... second date required ... evening ... with booze ... :lol:
  • Black Diamond
    Black Diamond Posts: 25,109
    81 wrote:
    so if we have determined we don't want to date this guy....can we at least have a sordid affair with him.
    We're easy...
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    Black Diamond wrote:
    Look, everyone goes through points in their life where they love one thing or another... Changing taste is a sign of growing not forgetting. If you loved Bach that much, start listening again. I grew up a HUGE Bach fan... especially the Fugue's... Been to a ton of chamber music concerts... but it has been years. Does not mean I am not still a fan and would listen if given the opportunity. I would and do. It's something my father in law and I have in common. But I feel more complete because I have expanded into other musical interests, including this band... Just because he listens to Bach only, does not make him more adequate... In fact, sounds like he needs to expand his horizon a little.

    You sound like a person who is passionate and has experienced a ton... Don't let anyone make you feel that you are not tops...

    Now about horrible memories... I am the worst.

    Thanks. :)
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    Black Diamond wrote:
    81 wrote:
    so if we have determined we don't want to date this guy....can we at least have a sordid affair with him.
    We're easy...

    :lol:
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    polaris_x wrote:
    although i gotta say - dude listens to bach exclusively now!?? ... that seems off kilter ... screams of pretentiousness ... but i'm probably wrong ... :lol:

    I don't know; I liken it to a couple of years ago when I listened to nothing but Pearl Jam nonstop. It's not that I don't have a broader musical taste; it's just that PJ is what I was most passionate about at the time. I think this guy has a really extensive musical taste, actually.
  • pjl44
    pjl44 Posts: 10,654
    Is there a chance that his conversation came across as pretentious at all? Knowledge takes a few different shapes and there's a pretty wide gap between arriving at your ideologies through comprehension and parroting back things you've learned. The way you described his approach seems a little intellectually aggressive in how he was controlling the conversation. Not trying to put you on the spot and feel free to take the question as rhetorical. Just wondering if you're taking responsibility for your apprehension when your instincts might be picking up on something else.
  • iluvcats
    iluvcats Posts: 5,153
    I honestly could not see myself dating or hanging around someone who exclusively listens to Bach.
    Here is a link to brush up for your next date
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bach

    was he belting out a bach tune at the karoke? sebastian bach, lol?

    I'm glad you enjoyed your date with him. If he met me, I'm so dumb and hard of hearing esp with background noise, the conversation would have ended in 5 minutes!
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • iluvcats
    iluvcats Posts: 5,153
    RKCNDY wrote:
    I'm glad you had a good time! :thumbup:

    I would let him make the next move, he'll prob ask you to karaoke! :lol:

    do they play johann whatever his name is bach at a karaoke?
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • iluvcats
    iluvcats Posts: 5,153
    pjl44 wrote:
    Is there a chance that his conversation came across as pretentious at all? Knowledge takes a few different shapes and there's a pretty wide gap between arriving at your ideologies through comprehension and parroting back things you've learned. The way you described his approach seems a little intellectually aggressive in how he was controlling the conversation. Not trying to put you on the spot and feel free to take the question as rhetorical. Just wondering if you're taking responsibility for your apprehension when your instincts might be picking up on something else.

    I agree. Good point.
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • stargirl69
    stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    iluvcats wrote:
    pjl44 wrote:
    Is there a chance that his conversation came across as pretentious at all? Knowledge takes a few different shapes and there's a pretty wide gap between arriving at your ideologies through comprehension and parroting back things you've learned. The way you described his approach seems a little intellectually aggressive in how he was controlling the conversation. Not trying to put you on the spot and feel free to take the question as rhetorical. Just wondering if you're taking responsibility for your apprehension when your instincts might be picking up on something else.

    I agree. Good point.

    + 1
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”

Categories