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Boston 2 PUKE APOLOGY THREAD

kenny olavkenny olav Posts: 3,322
edited February 2011 in Given To Fly (live)
To UNH1995 and to everyone sitting in Sections E, F and wherever else my horrid puke smell may have spread, I am the Boston 2 Puker, and I apologize.

And UNH1995, dude, that is some of the funniest shit I have read ever. Classic. I am actually almost proud of being the source of this humor.

Now let me answer some burning questions...

First, I was not drunk. I apparently ingested something that was in total disagreement with my system. Once expelled, I was completely fine. Elated, actually. But also disgusted at my own creation and sorry for the fowl stench my fellow Jamily members had to endure.

Secondly, where I puked was actually right next to the seats of my fiancee and I, not 3 or 4 seats down. I am very grateful for her springing into action, without remorse for ever having agreed to marry me, and informing the Garden staff of what I had done. Although it took way too long for them to act, and if I knew how to clean it up myself sooner, I would have.

Seriously, the Garden staff people kept walking by and looking at it but it took them forever to finally find the nearest minimum wage employee to clean it up!! Hence the tip.

UNH1995, I saw you come by and take the infamous and fucking hilarious picture and walk away, and I was like - "fuck, is he going to have me booted?" That's why I was acting weird when I told you I was OK, though I was still a little shell-shocked over the whole thing. Not physically ill, just uncomfortable because I had never puked in public before. But like I said I also felt much better for getting the offending agent out of my body.

Didn't Ed say to "leave your lunch on the cement floor?" Oh no... I remember now... he said "lady".

Thank you to Rayne and Trebmal for coming to my defense. You did not have to, but you did. True friends, indeed.

And now that I have outed myself as the Boston 2 Puker, on this day, my 30th birthday, I am raising a toast to all of you who have endured this ordeal with me.

I am also glad that I was able to give everyone who has read UNH1995's thread the gift of laughter, apalling as it may be.

Your friend,

Kenny
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • UNH1995UNH1995 Worcester Posts: 348
    You are a nice person. Happy Birthday.
    I have tried to be funny as opposed to mean spirited.
    It was gross, but not that bad.
    It has felt better now that we all have had a chance to clear the air.

    I am glad that you stayed to enjoy the show. My fiance were amazed that you stayed around and were seen eating fries within 4 minutes of the pile being cleaned up.

    Thanks for having a sense of humor!
    Lalapalooza 1992, Orphium Boston 1994, Hartford 1998, Mansfield 1998, Mansfield 2000, Mansfield 2003(1&3), West Palm 2003, State College 2003, Boston 2004, Albany 2006, Hartford 2006, Chicago 2006, Boston 2006, Mansfield 2008(1&2), Hartford 2008, Hartford 2010, Boston 2010, Worcester 2013 (1&2)
  • jojojojo Posts: 645
    Kenny if you didn't drink all my fruit punch this wouldn't have happened :p

    Happy Birthday
    Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.
  • memememe Posts: 4,692
    Wow... a messageboard heavyweight puker :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • kenny olavkenny olav Posts: 3,322
    UNH1995 wrote:
    You are a nice person. Happy Birthday.
    I have tried to be funny as opposed to mean spirited.
    It was gross, but not that bad.
    It has felt better now that we all have had a chance to clear the air.

    I am glad that you stayed to enjoy the show. My fiance were amazed that you stayed around and were seen eating fries within 4 minutes of the pile being cleaned up.

    Thanks for having a sense of humor!


    Believe me, I did not take it as mean-spirited at all. You have a great sense of humor. I was actually eating a pretzel that my fiancee got me. At first I couldn't eat it, but after I while I needed something solid in my stomach.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    fucking lightweight... :)

    i cant believe you puked... teenager ;):o
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • kenny olavkenny olav Posts: 3,322
    jojo wrote:
    Kenny if you didn't drink all my fruit punch this wouldn't have happened :p

    Happy Birthday


    You know what, given that the fruit punch had been sitting in the car for hours, that might have been what did it!

    Damn my thirst!
  • kenny olavkenny olav Posts: 3,322
    One more thing... I did not have a drop of alcohol that day.

    If people want to know the contents of my puke, I can divulge this information. But unless there's massive public clamour, you are all probably better off not knowing.
  • Glad you felt better, and happy birthday! dont feel bad there was someone in section F towards the backrows, that must have shat himself. It was a pretty offensive odor. So cheers kenny! it happens to the best of us
    boston: 7/91, 8/92, 4/94, 9/98(x2), 8/00(x2), 7/03(x3), 9/04(x2), 5/06(x2).
    augusta: 9/96
    montreal: 9/05
    hartford: 5/06
    St. Paul: 6/06
    las vegas: 7/06
  • idratherbeidratherbe Posts: 366
    Well Kenny, you have permanently sealed yourself a place in the Pit Hall of Fame, that's for sure. HAW! Way to have stones, step up, say 'yeah that was me' and even post a killer pic of yourself to boot! I only wish you were flipping the bird. :D:p

    Happy Birthday, man!

    ~peace~
    Never allow someone to be your Priority,
    While allowing yourself to be their Option.

    ‹^›_‹(ô¿ô)›_‹^›

    Please visit daily: www.theanimalrescuesite.com
  • UNH1995UNH1995 Worcester Posts: 348
    My fiance and I kept saying, " he does not look drunk, he is acting strange, but not drunk"

    By strange, we meant sitting for 35 minutes above a pile a vomit.

    I want to know what the people in front of you said to you, and what you said to them.
    Lalapalooza 1992, Orphium Boston 1994, Hartford 1998, Mansfield 1998, Mansfield 2000, Mansfield 2003(1&3), West Palm 2003, State College 2003, Boston 2004, Albany 2006, Hartford 2006, Chicago 2006, Boston 2006, Mansfield 2008(1&2), Hartford 2008, Hartford 2010, Boston 2010, Worcester 2013 (1&2)
  • gvn2fly12gvn2fly12 Posts: 782
    Happy Birthday Kenny,
    My condolences for what happen last night and way to speak up.
    Hope you enjoyed the show.
    sorry gotta ask how far from your seats did you sit for the show.
    Arms wide open with the sea as my floor.
  • reditalianreditalian Posts: 306
    These are the funniest 2 threads I've ever read.......THANK YOU....hahaha
    There's no I in team, but there's me.

    "0035 EVENFLOW PSYCHOS

    "I'm George Bush and my son's an asshole" 08/03/2000
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Shea Stadium Posts: 13,901
    this is too funny
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • DocChicagoDocChicago Posts: 653
    I have seen the picture of the offending puddle and now I need to know what the contents are. Divulge away, Kenny. I am clamoring mightily.
    It is time to admit that we used to rock like hurricanes. It is time to run for the hills and go round and round. It is time for us to shout at the devil. We've got the right to choose it, there ain't no way we'll lose it, and we're not gonna take it anymore.
    - C. Klosterman
  • votegirlvotegirl Posts: 95
    As the Boston 2 Puker's fiance, *coughs* let me say a few words.

    If the Storyteller's competition (for lack of a better word) was still going on, I would like to take this opportunity to nominate Kenny and UNH1995 to attend the performance....Because this is one Hell of a story!

    I thought the people in front of us were sort of weird for not offering us any assistance- and continuing to rock out to MMJ despite the putrid smell eminating from Kenny's pile o' bile.

    I was running around, looking for help- I advised him to stay put until help arrived. I also did not want any innocent bystander looking in the dark for their seats to inadvertently step into the vomit.

    I stood by my man that evening, and proved myself to be a faithfull companion- and thereby proclaim myself deserving of that Canadian tour hoodie that he did not purchase me while we were in Quebec City.

    In case you all were wondering, I made him brush, floss, gargle and shower upon entering our apartment last night.

    Oh, and ladies I have figured out what true love is...standing by your man, and his smelly puke- and STILL enjoying the best band in the world play a few feet in front of us...Do you think the boys smelled anything? ;)
    I burst, out
    I'm transformed!
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,722
    The Boston Puker has revealed himself!!!


    :D
  • trebmaltrebmal BostonPosts: 99
    idratherbe wrote:
    Well Kenny, you have permanently sealed yourself a place in the Pit Hall of Fame, that's for sure. HAW! Way to have stones, step up, say 'yeah that was me' and even post a killer pic of yourself to boot! I only wish you were flipping the bird. :D:p

    Happy Birthday, man!

    ~peace~

    LOL oh man, yeah we love you Kenny Hall of fame indeed... I can say I remember hearing JoJo get the phone call from Becca and all I heard her say is "aw, is he Ok?"
    i'm definitely glad it didnt kill your pj buzz and we got such an amazing show! oh and btw you still have my CD spindle :P hah
    9.15.98 | 8.29.00 | 8.30.00 | 7.02.03 | 7.03.03 | 7.11.03 Mansfield, MA, 9.28.04 | 9.29.04 Boston, MA, 5.12.06 Albany, NY 5.13.06 Hartford, CT 5.24 | 5.25.06 Boston, MA, 8.05.07 Chicago, IL (lolla) 6.27.08 Hartford, CT, 6.28 | 6.30.08 Mansfield, MA, 10.4.09 Austin, TX (ACL), 10.30 | 10.31.09, Philadelphia, PA 5.17.10 Boston, MA, 10.15 | 10.16.2013 Worcester, MA, 10.25.13 Hartford, CT, 10.16.14 Detroit, MI, 4.18.16 Hampton, VA, 5.1 | 5.2.16 NYC, 8.5 | 8.7.16 Boston, MA, 7.3.18 Krakow, PL, 8.8 | 8.10.18 Seattle, WA, 8.13.18 Missoula, MT, 8.18.18 Chicago, IL, 9.2 | 9.4.18 Boston, MA
  • Born2JamBorn2Jam Posts: 255
    I had the privilege of meeting Kenny, his lovely fiance, and jojo (hey, girl!) outside the Harp before the show. They are some uber cool jamily!!
    It doesn't surprise me that he came here and fessed up to this.

    I can attest to the fact that he was not drunk.
    He was drinking coffee before the show.

    Kenny.............it's so weird..............I meet you people on the streets of Boston yesterday, then come home to Maine, only to log on here and find out how you enjoyed (?) the show before I even get a chance to ask!!
    Sorry to hear of your mishap.........but these two threads gave me more of a laugh than anything I've ever read here, including bostonlou's handywork.;)

    Cheers!!
    "This band has provided many people a soundtrack to their lives.." ~ CitizenRick
  • kenny olavkenny olav Posts: 3,322
    UNH1995 wrote:
    My fiance and I kept saying, " he does not look drunk, he is acting strange, but not drunk"

    By strange, we meant sitting for 35 minutes above a pile a vomit.

    I want to know what the people in front of you said to you, and what you said to them.

    OK, the dude and his girlfriend in front of us were pretty much too busy enjoying MMJ to care too much. The girl did turn around and mention it, and I apologized and said someone's coming to clean it up. The guys behind us asked if I was OK, and I said I was, or would be as soon someone cleaned that shit up!!

    So eventually, nearly at the end of MMJ's set, the Garden crew came by and spread this white powdery disinfectant stuff on it and swept it up. Everything was good to go by the time Pearl Jam came on. Fortunately, the two guys who ending up taking those seats never had to witness any of it. After the clean up, my fiance and I went to talk to some friends and get some fresh minty chewing gum from them. We came back to our seats and everyone was in their seats next to us, obilvious to what had happened. There was still some of the white powder stuff, but no smell. Me and Becca just took our places and didn't say a word.



    And to everyone who's wondering, I completely enjoyed the show. I was rocking out as soon as they opened with Severed Hand, and felt great the whole show... especially, you know, when they played, um.... LEASH!!!!!!!
  • kenny olavkenny olav Posts: 3,322
    Born2Jam wrote:
    I had the privilege of meeting Kenny, his lovely fiance, and jojo (hey, girl!) outside the Harp before the show. They are some uber cool jamily!!
    It doesn't surprise me that he came here and fessed up to this.

    I can attest to the fact that he was not drunk.
    He was drinking coffee before the show.

    Kenny.............it's so weird..............I meet you people on the streets of Boston yesterday, then come home to Maine, only to log on here and find out how you enjoyed (?) the show before I even get a chance to ask!!
    Sorry to hear of your mishap.........but these two threads gave me more of a laugh than anything I've ever read here, including bostonlou's handywork.;)

    Cheers!!


    It was super cool to meet you and your son, too! I am thinking I am laughing just as hard as everybody, if not harder.
  • SongburstSongburst Posts: 1,195
    Kenny Olav wrote:
    One more thing... I did not have a drop of alcohol that day.

    The Columbo in me only has one question. If that is in fact you in the picture, why is there an X marked on your hand if, in fact, no alcohol was consumed that day?

    Edit: By the way, this is THE funniest thing that I have ever seen on here.
    1/12/1879, 4/8/1156, 2/6/1977, who gives a shit, ...
  • Born2JamBorn2Jam Posts: 255
    Kenny Olav wrote:



    And to everyone who's wondering, I completely enjoyed the show. I was rocking out as soon as they opened with Severed Hand, and felt great the whole show... especially, you know, when they played, um.... LEASH!!!!!!!


    Excellent!!

    That's all I wanted to hear!
    The show was amazing...........just amazing.
    "This band has provided many people a soundtrack to their lives.." ~ CitizenRick
  • AyedavanitaAyedavanita Posts: 1,443
    Happy Birthday! Here's a toast to you and your girl. Another for the guy who took the picture and started that thread. I myself would have never owned up to it, I don't think. This is bound to go down in the history of this board.
    "You think I got my eyes closed but I'm lookin' at you the whole fuckin' time..."
  • jojojojo Posts: 645
    Kenny Olav wrote:
    It was super cool to meet you and your son, too! I am thinking I am laughing just as hard as everybody, if not harder.


    I can Atteset to this I called to 'Break the News' about the thread and both Kenny and Becca where in hysterics I think they still are:D
    Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.
  • jojojojo Posts: 645
    Born2Jam wrote:
    Excellent!!

    That's all I wanted to hear!
    The show was amazing...........just amazing.


    AGREED 1,000%
    glad you guys made the trip it was great meeting you
    Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.
  • kenny olavkenny olav Posts: 3,322
    Songburst wrote:
    The Columbo in me only has one question. If that is in fact you in the picture, why is there an X marked on your hand if, in fact, no alcohol was consumed that day?

    The mark on my hand was a "J" which was written on my hand by the event staff. It indicated that I was a ticketholder for the floor.
  • bobonicbobonic Posts: 7
    MSG 1998 im sorry
  • Stephen FlowStephen Flow Posts: 3,327
    these threads have me laughing so hard right now.
  • Sharon_Hearts_PJSharon_Hearts_PJ Bristol, PAPosts: 1,363
    Am I alone in thinking this story might become more legendary than Bean Girl?

    Good stuff kids. Glad you weren't seriously ill Kenny! And I pray you will never again eat whatever it is you ate. :)
    *Rock and/or Roll!*
  • KricketKricket Posts: 707
    "Boston Puker"....this is hilliarious!!! I do feel bad for those around you though.
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