If you could start over part deux

I know that I have had a lot of thoughts over the years about what I would have done different in my education, career, relationships, etc. But I keep in mind that all of my life experiences and decisions have made me who I am today and will continue to affect me well into the future. Also, without THE worst decision of my life, I would not have the three wonderful sons that mean the world to me.

So thinking about what could have been different can be fun, but not much can be done about it now, no point in getting lost in past regrets, just have to try to make the best choices going forward using the wisdom gained from past mistakes.

Change anything? As in take a Mulligan? Should-a, could-a, would-a?

Hmmm, even though I may not have liked everything that happened in my life, I appreciate them. Even the negative things. They helped shaped me in to who I am now. If I had not have had those experiences, I don't know who I would have been.

On that note, Dr. Guy Grenier said the worst word in the English language is "SHOULD".
Why? Because "should" is about judgement, control, and authority over what one thinks is correct.
"We need to stop should-ing on others, and especially ourselves. Or we will end up having a should-y life." ~ Dr. Guy Grenier.

blackredyellow wrote:

ShimmyMommy wrote:

On that note, Dr. Guy Grenier said the worst word in the English language is "SHOULD".
Why? Because "should" is about judgement, control, and authority over what one thinks is correct.
"We need to stop should-ing on others, and especially ourselves. Or we will end up having a should-y life." ~ Dr. Guy Grenier.

I like that a lot. "Should" is one of those words that bother me too. It's a very guilt burdened word.

Bothers me almost as much as the phrase, "I'm going to..." In everyday life, it works ("I'm going to stop at the store after work", etc.), but you hear people all of the time saying these grand things that will never happen. "I'm going to get a new job", "I'm going to move to X city", "I'm going to change how I act", etc etc etc... Seems to me that most of these people never actually do it, they just say they are "going to". Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent lol.

No, I feel it's not really a off on a tangent. Then again, that's just me. I see "Going to" as like saying "Try".

I have noticed that whenever someone uses the phrase, "I'm going to/try and do that ____." They rarely do it. This includes myself, for I am not immune 100% of the time, and I am human after all. I do work at being mindful of what I am saying or doing, as I want things to happen, or not happen.

There is a reason Yoda says, "Do or do not, there is no try."

"To try" is to successfully fail. "To do" is to successfully achieve.

Sorry for the thread hijack, faceintheclouds. :oops:

The only change I would have made would be to have seen Pearl Jam in 1991, 1992, 1993, and 1994. My first show was in 1995.

also would have seen Nirvana, Johnny Cash, and George Harrison somehow.


Other than that, I lived on the edge of responsible and have fun, with a heavier dose of have fun and enjoy life.

Even now with a wife and two kids that is our motto. Smell the roses now because life is short.

CorduroyGirl wrote:

hostis wrote:

I wouldn't change a single choice. ever. (even the ones I knew were worng at the time). I love and appreciate where i am now and any changes in choice would mean I am not right here, right now, being the person I like to be.

This must be such a good feeling

exactly.
i like to think like this.
however, at times i think....a different choice.....and what a different life i might have.
in oh so many ways, i see how lucky i am, but in so many others... think if i were a bit more brave....what a different life i might have.
and so it goes.......

I'll take a line from my mum. (mom ) Her opinion is that yes she had a crappy first marriage and didnt enjoy it at all however without going through that she would never have had me and my sister, ergo, you cant wish to change one single thing in your life as it would affect everything else.... you are here, EXACTLY here, through choices you have made throughout your life and to change one single thing could result in a completely different outcome.

for further proof, see a deeply philosophical film that you may not have heard of called "back to the future"

i would most likely just go back and change some of the little things i've done and said towards other people. i'm pretty happy as an adult so most of my changes would be in the teens and early to mid 20 years. i'd sure as shit be a heck of a lot more appreciative of the people who were in my life at those times including my parents. and i'd want to have a hell of a lot more self confidence than i had in those years understanding now that everyone pretty much has no clue and is pretty much just as scared and confused as i was.

hostis wrote:

I wouldn't change a single choice. ever. (even the ones I knew were worng at the time). I love and appreciate where i am now and any changes in choice would mean I am not right here, right now, being the person I like to be.

This was going to be almost exactly my response to this. Because I would not be who I am, and where I am and with the person I'm with, and have my beautiful children if I made different decisions. BUT... there's a lot of shit that I put up with and went through to get to who I am now - it's a nice thought - being able to be a completely different person with a different past.

Maybe a kind of Sliding Doors idea - where you end up meeting the same people/being in the same situation regardless is a nice one. Except there's my logic kicking in again, telling me that I would never have been in that situation if it weren't for the one before it.....

*sigh*....let's just say I wouldn't change anything.

I would have gone to University.

I try to live with no regrets but that is one thing I would most definitely change.