If you could start over part deux

2

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  • rick1zoo2
    rick1zoo2 between a rock and a dumb place Posts: 12,632
    I know that I have had a lot of thoughts over the years about what I would have done different in my education, career, relationships, etc. But I keep in mind that all of my life experiences and decisions have made me who I am today and will continue to affect me well into the future. Also, without THE worst decision of my life, I would not have the three wonderful sons that mean the world to me.

    So thinking about what could have been different can be fun, but not much can be done about it now, no point in getting lost in past regrets, just have to try to make the best choices going forward using the wisdom gained from past mistakes.
  • EmBleve
    EmBleve Posts: 3,019
    hostis wrote:
    I wouldn't change a single choice. ever. (even the ones I knew were worng at the time). I love and appreciate where i am now and any changes in choice would mean I am not right here, right now, being the person I like to be.
    +1.
  • ShimmyMommy
    ShimmyMommy Posts: 7,505
    Change anything? As in take a Mulligan? Should-a, could-a, would-a?

    Hmmm, even though I may not have liked everything that happened in my life, I appreciate them. Even the negative things. They helped shaped me in to who I am now. If I had not have had those experiences, I don't know who I would have been.

    On that note, Dr. Guy Grenier said the worst word in the English language is "SHOULD".
    Why? Because "should" is about judgement, control, and authority over what one thinks is correct.
    "We need to stop should-ing on others, and especially ourselves. Or we will end up having a should-y life." ~ Dr. Guy Grenier. :lol::lol:
    Lots of love, light and hugs to you all!
  • blackredyellow
    blackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    ShimmyMommy wrote:
    On that note, Dr. Guy Grenier said the worst word in the English language is "SHOULD".
    Why? Because "should" is about judgement, control, and authority over what one thinks is correct.
    "We need to stop should-ing on others, and especially ourselves. Or we will end up having a should-y life." ~ Dr. Guy Grenier. :lol::lol:

    I like that a lot. "Should" is one of those words that bother me too. It's a very guilt burdened word.

    Bothers me almost as much as the phrase, "I'm going to..." In everyday life, it works ("I'm going to stop at the store after work", etc.), but you hear people all of the time saying these grand things that will never happen. "I'm going to get a new job", "I'm going to move to X city", "I'm going to change how I act", etc etc etc... Seems to me that most of these people never actually do it, they just say they are "going to". Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent lol.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • ShimmyMommy
    ShimmyMommy Posts: 7,505
    edited October 2011
    blackredyellow wrote:
    ShimmyMommy wrote:
    On that note, Dr. Guy Grenier said the worst word in the English language is "SHOULD".
    Why? Because "should" is about judgement, control, and authority over what one thinks is correct.
    "We need to stop should-ing on others, and especially ourselves. Or we will end up having a should-y life." ~ Dr. Guy Grenier. :lol::lol:

    I like that a lot. "Should" is one of those words that bother me too. It's a very guilt burdened word.

    Bothers me almost as much as the phrase, "I'm going to..." In everyday life, it works ("I'm going to stop at the store after work", etc.), but you hear people all of the time saying these grand things that will never happen. "I'm going to get a new job", "I'm going to move to X city", "I'm going to change how I act", etc etc etc... Seems to me that most of these people never actually do it, they just say they are "going to". Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent lol.

    No, I feel it's not really a off on a tangent. Then again, that's just me. I see "Going to" as like saying "Try".

    I have noticed that whenever someone uses the phrase, "I'm going to/try and do that ____." They rarely do it. This includes myself, for I am not immune 100% of the time, and I am human after all. :lol: I do work at being mindful of what I am saying or doing, as I want things to happen, or not happen.

    There is a reason Yoda says, "Do or do not, there is no try." :lol:

    "To try" is to successfully fail. "To do" is to successfully achieve.

    Sorry for the thread hijack, faceintheclouds. :oops: :lol:
    Post edited by ShimmyMommy on
    Lots of love, light and hugs to you all!
  • SPEEDY MCCREADY
    SPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 27,051
    I wouldnt change anything...
    Yeah, like everyone else I have made some blunders in my life...
    But fuck it...Ya live and ya learn....

    Im happy right now...
    Kathy is happy...
    Our parents are alive and well....


    I guess thats all that matters.....
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • Wilds
    Wilds Posts: 4,329
    The only change I would have made would be to have seen Pearl Jam in 1991, 1992, 1993, and 1994. My first show was in 1995.

    also would have seen Nirvana, Johnny Cash, and George Harrison somehow.


    Other than that, I lived on the edge of responsible and have fun, with a heavier dose of have fun and enjoy life.

    Even now with a wife and two kids that is our motto. Smell the roses now because life is short.
  • ShimmyMommy
    ShimmyMommy Posts: 7,505
    I have a question to add....

    If you could start over...would it make you a better person if you did it all differently? I wonder that all the time. :think:
    Lots of love, light and hugs to you all!
  • decides2dream
    decides2dream Posts: 14,977
    CorduroyGirl wrote:
    hostis wrote:
    I wouldn't change a single choice. ever. (even the ones I knew were worng at the time). I love and appreciate where i am now and any changes in choice would mean I am not right here, right now, being the person I like to be.

    This must be such a good feeling :)


    exactly.
    i like to think like this.
    however, at times i think....a different choice.....and what a different life i might have.
    in oh so many ways, i see how lucky i am, but in so many others... think if i were a bit more brave....what a different life i might have.
    and so it goes.......
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    I would have changed a lot of things, but I only know now that I would have changed them because I learned 'the hard way'.

    All I can say now is, "Listen to your gut instincts" and "Don't be afraid to tell people NO!"
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • hostis
    hostis Posts: 441
    I'll take a line from my mum. (mom :)) Her opinion is that yes she had a crappy first marriage and didnt enjoy it at all however without going through that she would never have had me and my sister, ergo, you cant wish to change one single thing in your life as it would affect everything else.... you are here, EXACTLY here, through choices you have made throughout your life and to change one single thing could result in a completely different outcome.

    for further proof, see a deeply philosophical film that you may not have heard of called "back to the future"
  • Green Circle
    Green Circle Posts: 5,192
    Oh man! I would have listened to my Step Father when he talked to me about money and credit. :(
    "...And I fight back in my mind. Never lets me be right.
    I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
  • faceintheclouds
    faceintheclouds Posts: 1,739
    Green Circle wrote:
    Oh man! I would have listened to my Step Father when he talked to me about money and credit. :(
    Umm ya. Same boat here.
    Just, not enough.
    I need more.
    Nothing seems to satisfy.
    I said, I dont want it.
    I just need it.
    To breathe, to feel, to know Im alive.
  • ShimmyMommy
    ShimmyMommy Posts: 7,505
    hostis wrote:
    I'll take a line from my mum. (mom :)) Her opinion is that yes she had a crappy first marriage and didnt enjoy it at all however without going through that she would never have had me and my sister, ergo, you cant wish to change one single thing in your life as it would affect everything else.... you are here, EXACTLY here, through choices you have made throughout your life and to change one single thing could result in a completely different outcome.

    for further proof, see a deeply philosophical film that you may not have heard of called "back to the future"

    Yes, we do not want to mess with the space-time continuum... :mrgreen:
    Lots of love, light and hugs to you all!
  • pjhawks
    pjhawks Posts: 13,044
    i would most likely just go back and change some of the little things i've done and said towards other people. i'm pretty happy as an adult so most of my changes would be in the teens and early to mid 20 years. i'd sure as shit be a heck of a lot more appreciative of the people who were in my life at those times including my parents. and i'd want to have a hell of a lot more self confidence than i had in those years understanding now that everyone pretty much has no clue and is pretty much just as scared and confused as i was.
  • Indifference71
    Indifference71 Chicago Posts: 14,924
    I never would have racked up a shitload of credit card debt while in college. I'm still paying that stuff off....but I will reach my goal of being debt free by the time I am 30! Should have listened to my parents on that one...
  • stardust1976
    stardust1976 Posts: 1,301
    hostis wrote:
    I wouldn't change a single choice. ever. (even the ones I knew were worng at the time). I love and appreciate where i am now and any changes in choice would mean I am not right here, right now, being the person I like to be.

    This was going to be almost exactly my response to this. Because I would not be who I am, and where I am and with the person I'm with, and have my beautiful children if I made different decisions. BUT... there's a lot of shit that I put up with and went through to get to who I am now - it's a nice thought - being able to be a completely different person with a different past.

    Maybe a kind of Sliding Doors idea - where you end up meeting the same people/being in the same situation regardless is a nice one. Except there's my logic kicking in again, telling me that I would never have been in that situation if it weren't for the one before it.....

    *sigh*....let's just say I wouldn't change anything. :lol:
    http://giventoart.blogspot.com.au
  • DinghyDog
    DinghyDog Posts: 587
    edited November 2012
    -
    Post edited by DinghyDog on
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    I would have gone to University.

    I try to live with no regrets but that is one thing I would most definitely change.
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • EmBleve
    EmBleve Posts: 3,019
    ShimmyMommy wrote:
    I have a question to add....

    If you could start over...would it make you a better person if you did it all differently? I wonder that all the time. :think:
    I don't think so. In fact, personally, it may have made me more sheltered and ignorant, and much less knowledgeable, experience-wise. I'm good people; nothing I could have done differently would have made me any 'better'. :mrgreen:

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