Love: is it a choice or a feeling?

2

Comments

  • Hugh Freaking Dillon
    Hugh Freaking Dillon Posts: 14,010
    exactly. love and sexual orientation are completely different, if that is what you were alluding to, GF.
    justam wrote:
    Godfather. wrote:
    if it's only a choice then there are other situations in life that need to be reconsidered.

    Godfather.

    Please don't wreck this thread by turning it into "Is gayness a choice?" argument. We're not talking about which sex a person prefers and is naturally attracted to, we're talking about whether or not it's a choice to pursue every attraction and break up marriages.
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • voidofman
    voidofman Posts: 4,009
    Not really sure where to start on this one as I think that love is a state of consciousness, either you do it or you don't. It's easy to say I love you but it's quite rare to feel it.

    In saying this, check out David Hawkins Map of Consciousness (google image), it explains it a lot better, I can't link it as I was asked to remove a similar post I made with a link to it by his publicist. It was originally included in his book Power Vs. Force, which is a great book that explains it all. I'll try to do a little summary. Every person's state of consciousness can be attributed to one level that is rooted deep in their beliefs / soul / whatever we call it and the levels go from 0 - 1,000 (see below) It is possible to change through different thinking but it is very rare that any of us can change our root beliefs. I think he said that only 0.04% of the worlds population was at the level of Love or higher when he wrote that book. It's possible that it is higher than that as human consciousness is evolving daily as knowledge increases. Hawkins has used kinesiology, muscle testing, to find exact numbers and data that only the subconscious mind knows, the subconscious has no ego and is a direct link the God.

    Level - Scale
    (Power)
    Enlightenment - 1,000 (Avatars like Jesus, Buddha, etc. are at this level)
    Peace - 600
    Joy - 540
    Love - 500
    Reason - 400 (Edison, Einstein and other inventors were at 499 as that is the mind of brilliant people but still don't understand love)
    Acceptance - 350
    Willingness - 310
    Neutrality - 250
    Courage - 200
    (Only recently has the human race as a whole has raised above the 200 level)

    (Force)
    Pride-175
    Anger-150
    Desire-125
    Fear-100
    Grief-75
    Apathy-50
    Guilt-30 (Hitler was at this level)
    Shame-20
  • voidofman
    voidofman Posts: 4,009
    And now onto the soul mate part of it. Every person is connected to those around them as they were in past lives. Some have a greater affinity than others, we all have many soul mates / kindred spirits with whom we feel a great pull towards, family, friends, pets, artists, musicians, athletes, actors, etc. Every person has one person they share an even deeper relationship with, twin souls / twin flames, the one person you were born with in the moment of creation. These are even more rare to find than a soul mate. This is why I think a lot of people feel "there is something missing..."
  • your move now
    your move now Posts: 1,165
    twin souls... and feeling complete. seriously? I hate to sound like a pop psychology text book but if you can't feel complete on your own then you probably can't have a healthy relationship.
    As for the twin souls does this suggest that if my "other half" or "soulmate" or whatever is somewhere on the other side of the world or died in a freak accident or something that I am less complete than those who have met that person? Its ridiculous
    I don't mean to offend anyone, a lot of what I say should be taken with a grain of salt... that said for most of you I'm a stranger on a computer on the other side of the world, don't give me that sort of power!
  • even flow - question mark
    even flow - question mark Posts: 1,568
    Love is a feeling. If it was a choice then all our parents would make that for us as in arranged marriages. I find it hard to say, "hey check out that chick over there, I think I'm in love", and mean it. Where if you hang around somebody who is a friend you may start to love them for who they are and what they inspire you to do.

    The poison from the poison stream caught up to you ELEVEN years ago and you floated out of here. Sept. 14, 08

  • iluvcats
    iluvcats Posts: 5,153
    Maslow's hierarchy of needs is interesting.
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    VoidOfMan wrote:
    Not really sure where to start on this one as I think that love is a state of consciousness, either you do it or you don't. It's easy to say I love you but it's quite rare to feel it.

    In saying this, check out David Hawkins Map of Consciousness (google image), it explains it a lot better, I can't link it as I was asked to remove a similar post I made with a link to it by his publicist. It was originally included in his book Power Vs. Force, which is a great book that explains it all. I'll try to do a little summary. Every person's state of consciousness can be attributed to one level that is rooted deep in their beliefs / soul / whatever we call it and the levels go from 0 - 1,000 (see below) It is possible to change through different thinking but it is very rare that any of us can change our root beliefs. I think he said that only 0.04% of the worlds population was at the level of Love or higher when he wrote that book. It's possible that it is higher than that as human consciousness is evolving daily as knowledge increases. Hawkins has used kinesiology, muscle testing, to find exact numbers and data that only the subconscious mind knows, the subconscious has no ego and is a direct link the God.

    Level - Scale
    (Power)
    Enlightenment - 1,000 (Avatars like Jesus, Buddha, etc. are at this level)
    Peace - 600
    Joy - 540
    Love - 500
    Reason - 400 (Edison, Einstein and other inventors were at 499 as that is the mind of brilliant people but still don't understand love)
    Acceptance - 350
    Willingness - 310
    Neutrality - 250
    Courage - 200
    (Only recently has the human race as a whole has raised above the 200 level)

    (Force)
    Pride-175
    Anger-150
    Desire-125
    Fear-100
    Grief-75
    Apathy-50
    Guilt-30 (Hitler was at this level)
    Shame-20
    I wonder what recently is?
    The scale certainly doesn't give us much credit does it? I think it seems quite negative.
    I get that the very intelligent don't understand love though, they are thinking way too much.
    It might be hard to forget the science, impossible for some.
    I see the bottom half of the scale is living a life for "me" situation and the top half living your life for others.
    Where is empathy on this scale?
    It is the key to Unconditional love, acceptance, peace, joy, and forgiveness.
    Each of these bring enlightenment and the spirit grows.
    Living the golden rule and walking a mile in another's shoes opens the door for love.
    Real love without personal gratification.
  • guypjfreak
    guypjfreak Posts: 2,281
    ive been married 21 years together 25 years we hardly argue and always talk to each other about any problems .
    we have 2 great kids 23 /20 we started young :D
    i often look at my mates into one relationship then another WHY :? :?
    me and the wife aren't special we work at it i liked wot AzWicker said things [love] changes through the years .
    2 rules i try to stick to ..never go to bed on an argument ;)
    and always tell her shes right :lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • cincybearcat
    cincybearcat Posts: 16,976
    Love is a choice for the woman and a feeling for the man. Wait, what are we talking about?
    hippiemom = goodness
  • Hugh Freaking Dillon
    Hugh Freaking Dillon Posts: 14,010
    so do you think if you are in a happy marriage, that you can fall in love with someone else and leave your current family and call that a feeling, as in, you didn't have a choice to fall in love with that second person?

    I think attraction is a feeling. Then you choose to love the person or not.
    even flow - question mark wrote:
    Love is a feeling. If it was a choice then all our parents would make that for us as in arranged marriages. I find it hard to say, "hey check out that chick over there, I think I'm in love", and mean it. Where if you hang around somebody who is a friend you may start to love them for who they are and what they inspire you to do.
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • your move now
    your move now Posts: 1,165
    if you are ina truly happy marriae then i don't think the issue is likely to arise. most people do not end their marriages on a whim
    I don't mean to offend anyone, a lot of what I say should be taken with a grain of salt... that said for most of you I'm a stranger on a computer on the other side of the world, don't give me that sort of power!
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    love isnt a choice.. but because of it sometimes hard choices have to be made. if love were a choice it would be rational and it isnt.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • stargirl69
    stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    edited January 2011
    It is a feeling ... we can avoid the feeling but we can't stop the feeling from happening


    Oops don't know why this posted twice :oops:
    Post edited by stargirl69 on
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • stargirl69
    stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    It is a feeling ... we can avoid the feeling but we can't stop the feeling from happening
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • Hugh Freaking Dillon
    Hugh Freaking Dillon Posts: 14,010
    well if it's not a choice then I guess it's not my buddy's fault that he destroyed his family and cheated on his wife.
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • stargirl69
    stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    Paul David wrote:
    well if it's not a choice then I guess it's not my buddy's fault that he destroyed his family and cheated on his wife.

    No ... the FEELINGS are not a choice but WHAT HE CHOSE TO DO with those feelings was definitely a choice
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • Hugh Freaking Dillon
    Hugh Freaking Dillon Posts: 14,010
    that's what I said earlier, so we agree then.
    stargirl69 wrote:
    Paul David wrote:
    well if it's not a choice then I guess it's not my buddy's fault that he destroyed his family and cheated on his wife.

    No ... the FEELINGS are not a choice but WHAT HE CHOSE TO DO with those feelings was definitely a choice
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • stargirl69
    stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    Paul David wrote:
    that's what I said earlier, so we agree then.
    stargirl69 wrote:
    Paul David wrote:
    well if it's not a choice then I guess it's not my buddy's fault that he destroyed his family and cheated on his wife.

    No ... the FEELINGS are not a choice but WHAT HE CHOSE TO DO with those feelings was definitely a choice

    Absolutely agree :clap: ....
    we can always chose to do the right thing,it's just sad and terribly hurtful that the right thing for one is the wrong thing for another.
    I hope the situation your friends find themselves in sorts itself out.
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • Paulina87
    Paulina87 Poland Posts: 3,303
    stargirl69 wrote:
    No ... the FEELINGS are not a choice but WHAT HE CHOSE TO DO with those feelings was definitely a choice

    I agree
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  • unlost dogs
    unlost dogs Greater Boston Posts: 12,553
    Paulina87 wrote:
    stargirl69 wrote:
    No ... the FEELINGS are not a choice but WHAT HE CHOSE TO DO with those feelings was definitely a choice

    I agree

    Me too.

    Anyone can be tempted to do something due to feelings. And that includes initiating a relationship. That's a choice a person knowingly makes.
    15 years of sharks 06/30/08 (MA), 05/17/10 (Boston), 09/03/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/04/11 (Alpine Valley), 09/30/12 (Missoula), 07/19/13 (Wrigley), 10/15/13 (Worcester), 10/16/13 (Worcester), 10/25/13 (Hartford), 12/4/13 (Vancouver), 12/6/13 (Seattle), 6/26/14 (Berlin), 6/28/14 (Stockholm), 10/16/14 (Detroit)

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