Instant thoughts. (add yours if you like)

prism wrote:

not sure who you were addressing...but that's okay.

i survived an abusive relationship w/ my kids dad. left him, i took my kids with just our clothes, a few baby items and toys, and got on a ferry & buses to cross the canadian border back to the u.s.; to a city and state where i didn't know a soul....that was 21 yrs ago.

we stayed at the shelter here for a couple weeks, went back for a yr & a half for counseling, then i voluteered there for almost 3 yrs...so there's a few things i know...

ppl should always speak up. not just if they've been, but anyone that's witness to it. the abused person can sometimes be in some heavy denial, so call and report it to the cops. if you not positive that physical abuse took place...call them anyway and let the cops figure it out if there's any sign of it... even if the victim is unwilling to cooperate, by saying nothing happened, by law cops have to make an arrest if there's a sign.

many still go back to their abuser, but that doesn't mean everyone else has to turn a blind eye also...every county has shelter(s), volunteers, advocates and other resources for DV help. there's times when others speaking up is the only way the abused person will get the required help in order to become and stay safe.

pm me if you need or want to

The police don't arrest someone if they see bruises. They saw the bruises. They asked me if I wanted him arrested.
The thing to remember is, if someone hits you the first time, leave them because it will only get worse.

that was one of the poems that got me out of where i was
thanks for sharing that
i sure hope it helps someone else as well

Beach wrote:

prism wrote:

not sure who you were addressing...but that's okay.

i survived an abusive relationship w/ my kids dad. left him, i took my kids with just our clothes, a few baby items and toys, and got on a ferry & buses to cross the canadian border back to the u.s.; to a city and state where i didn't know a soul....that was 21 yrs ago.

we stayed at the shelter here for a couple weeks, went back for a yr & a half for counseling, then i voluteered there for almost 3 yrs...so there's a few things i know...

ppl should always speak up. not just if they've been, but anyone that's witness to it. the abused person can sometimes be in some heavy denial, so call and report it to the cops. if you not positive that physical abuse took place...call them anyway and let the cops figure it out if there's any sign of it... even if the victim is unwilling to cooperate, by saying nothing happened, by law cops have to make an arrest if there's a sign.

many still go back to their abuser, but that doesn't mean everyone else has to turn a blind eye also...every county has shelter(s), volunteers, advocates and other resources for DV help. there's times when others speaking up is the only way the abused person will get the required help in order to become and stay safe.

pm me if you need or want to

The police don't arrest someone if they see bruises. They saw the bruises. They asked me if I wanted him arrested.
The thing to remember is, if someone hits you the first time, leave them because it will only get worse.

you're right that the important thing is to leave the first time, because it will happen again...and again...etc

i wasn't aware these days there's still any states where the cops "let the victim decide" if the abuser gets arrested or not, when there's evidence that an DV assault took place. in most states the abuser goes to jail. because law enforcement knows it's very easy for victims to be coerced into remaining silent, or dropping the charges out of fear. often times DA's won't even allow the victim to drop the charges.

not like in ancient times (prior to the 90's) when the victim had to go swear out a warrant before a magistrate (during business hours) before the cops could make an arrest.

anyway...hopefully you had him arrested. most importantly is that; you are safe.

Best to forget

Godfather. wrote:

mikalina wrote:

So many wonderful things happening.......

all is well I trust ? I hope so.

Godfather.

Thanks GF, I've been having a couple of good days !!! :thumbup:

blenderman69 wrote:

HeartShapedBox wrote:

Such a weird feeling seeing cards from the EX's girlfriend, saying how much she loves him, and a picture of them together....

so sorry :( ...i know people that have cement shoes ....i'm just sayin'

Dan, Dan,...tsk tsk tsk...I know how much you love a good sinking, er, eh, I mean fishing trip, sorry, but nah..cement shoes will probably not be needed in this instance....calm down, calm down, atta boy...after all it is photos of the EX's ex....not the bf's ex..the EX's ex...so while its weird, it doesn't necessarily sting quite as much as it would before he was the EX. you know?
you're just too funny B-man

Heart: take it all in stride baby doll...it'll be fine. good times are ahead, don't you worry. YOu take your time and wait for the best guy to come round....you'll be glad you did.

(what am I talking about right? I've been waiting and...well, that's for another thread)

You just hang in there....toss those photos..unless they're online, then don't go there. That's hard, but you don't need to be torturing yourself. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself to something nice that you've been wanting for a while now. New clothes....new shoes...I would say a PJ show but its a bit late for that...so how about...a SG show? or even an ice cream sundae..we all deserve a little something once in a while...and take your mind of him...after all...he's the EX for a reason, girlie..remember that.
YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!
Peace and Hugs
jo

prism wrote:

you must've misunderstood my meaning. i was just wondering if 32 is too young a man for me? i'm 46...

unequivocally NO.

I've been so uninspired to write anything lately!

I think it's all this effort to focus on practical things.
Which is necessary. :geek:
And, it's probably about time I did too. :?