Anxiety...

dcfaithful wrote:

neilybabes86 wrote:

XANAX

Last resort. I refuse medication until the last minute, even tylenol...I'm fucking weird, but I hate putting prescription meds into my body... :?

+1 on that.

dcfaithful wrote:

I definitely think I could use more physical activity. But I have no time for it...I think my being is jsut over worked right now.

My job is quite stressful and I keep getting thrown into things that I'm not really willing to accept he responsibility, mainly because I have so much other shit on my mind that I don't want to add to the load.

School is relentless this semester, I only have two classes...but they're demanding as fuck. My design class requires me to sketch compositions and thumbnails in under two days, and study for a quiz, all the while I don't find the time because i have to go to my web design class which is just dangerous when under that frame of mind because I'm learning about HTML and coding right now, which isn't confusing to me...but there is a lot to remember...my teacher squeezes quite a bit into one class.

My finances bother me at the moment...

I feel like I don't have time for my friends, and it is beginning to really kill my spirits as I feel all I do is work, class, homework, get shitty sleep, and do it all over again.

The relationship between my girlfriend and I is still fine, but I think I'm more irritable and am prone to cause an argument a lot easier than I normally would be - I'm usually a very laxed and brush it off kind of guy.

All in all, I'd just like to fast forward life at the moment...every morning I drive to work resenting my job and wishing that I could suit up for a hike/adventure and go spend a couple days in the mountains....with silence, fresh air...and myself.

Ever get that feeling that you're losing touch with yourself? I feel that way. :?

When are you heading to Burley again? If it is this weekend, stop by the Tetons on the way and find me out there. We'll snare a squirrel and eat it. Good times.

chadwick wrote:

you do not need be a skilled outdoorsman like eyed to get by.

I once decided, in mid-backpacking trip, that all I needed was my underwear and a knife to get by. After about walking 50 feet from my tent and slapping the third biting mosquito, I went back for more clothes. 8-)

dc, reading your posts is like reading from my own diary. I went through this exact same thing, and I mean EXACT, last summer. I almost went completely bonkers. I was so ripped up with anxiety I had to go to bed to try to sleep just so I could stop my brain, but getting to sleep was tough.

Self-medicating is something I do all the time, but I wouldn't recommend it. I was smoking a lot of weed at the time and, as an old cliche, yes, it helps in the meantime, but afterwards it just made my anxiety worse. Same with drinking. ESPECIALLY with drinking. I'd be physically shaking the next day, not from withdrawal, but from the anxiety it was causing.

I am like you; I never took even a tylenol for a headache, and I feel my immunity is a good testament for self-healing. However, you brain is different. I had no choice but to go on meds. Started off with just 10mg a day, then my shrink upped it to 20mg per day, since he didn't think I was getting the desired results, even though I felt better.

HOWEVER: pills are not the only answer, they are only a small part of it. When I was going through this, I researched extensively on the net all about anxiety. You must get physical activity. Our bodies store up all this energy that we don't use and eventually it has to be released, and it does so in the forms you speak of.

Feelings of wanting to go Into The Wild are completely normal. Believe me, if you were losing your mind (which is a common symptom of anxiety), you wouldn't think you were. It sounds stupid but it's true.

A simple trip to the woods may be good, but it also may be just like that joint you want to smoke. Anxiety works different than just everyday stress. If you were just stressed, you'd feel relaxed and recharged, but with anxiety, you may feel good out in the woods, on the way back to daily life you may feel even worse than before you left. Trust me. And sometimes doing nothing but being with your own thoughts is the worst thing for you. Keeping busy is great, but if you are TOO busy, it will worsen. The key is to find that balance that you need, and do what you have to to achieve that balance. If you have a good woman, she'll understand if you can't be there for her as much as you used to be, or if you need to take out a loan or something to ease off the work while you concentrate on school. There ARE solutions out there, you just have to make the decision (which right now probably feels nearly impossible, I know) to commit to making yourself better.

If you don't help yourself now, you'll be no good to yourself or your girlfriend. Explain to her that this is what you need to do to be functional at the moment in your relationship.

And I would STRONGLY recommend seeing a psychiatrist, if for nothing else, your own peace of mind. It helps when you have a professional telling you over and over again that you aren't crazy, and the reasons why. You probably already know the reasons why you aren't nuts, but you don't necessarily trust your own thoughts at the present time, so go see one. It will help, I guarantee it.

And if you need to chat more, pm me. I'd be glad to help out if I can. I know the hell of anxiety. I still do. But I'm doing my best to manage it.

dcfaithful wrote:

I just got back from a lunch break. Took my sandwich, chips and a drink to the nearest park and found a nice tree and some shade to sit in.

Silence and serenity like that is priceless.

Feel good my friend. I find that I really have to focus on what my anxiety feels like to my body and then work it out from there. Mine feels like there is a hamster wheel inside my chest that is trying to propel me forward even when I have no place to go. So, I acknowledge it, envision it, and breathe it away.