Cancer

unsung
unsung I stopped by on March 7 2024. First time in many years, had to update payment info. Hope all is well. Politicians suck. Bye. Posts: 9,487
edited December 2013 in A Moving Train
I sit out here at the parents house waiting for it to claim the life of my stepfather. They say the end is any minute. I type away on an iPhone with nearly a fully drained battery and I had the thought that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I'm somewhat filled with regret that I didn't spend more time with him. You figure things like work keep you busy until this point arrives then you know what really matters.

That's all for now. I have a hard time describing what this is like. It's hard to see someone in this condition.
Post edited by Unknown User on
«134

Comments

  • Claireack
    Claireack Posts: 13,561
    Have sat and waited too, a horrible thing to have to go through. Wishing a release from their suffering for them but not wanting them to go, my thoughts are with you.
    <a href="http://s952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/?action=view&current=domo.jpg&quot; target="_blank"><img src="http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/domo.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
  • PearlOfAGirl
    PearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. :(

    Wish you were here...
    ♥~RIP Dad
  • dasvidana
    dasvidana Grand Junction CO Posts: 1,356
    Cancer sucks. I lost my mother to it ten years ago, and two years ago this August my son was diagnosed with it too. The best advice I can give you is to be present with the person who is going through it. It is a very lonely place to be for sure.
    It's nice to be nice to the nice.
  • Godfather.
    Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    I am very sorry to hear this,God bless you and your family and prayers for your stepfather.

    Godfather.
  • OnTheEdge
    OnTheEdge Posts: 1,300
    dasvidana wrote:
    Cancer sucks. I lost my mother to it ten years ago, and two years ago this August my son was diagnosed with it too. The best advice I can give you is to be present with the person who is going through it. It is a very lonely place to be for sure.


    Good luck to your son. Chinnup and stay strong.
  • OnTheEdge
    OnTheEdge Posts: 1,300
    Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Unsung. Just reading your post brings back very difficult memories for me. I watched my father slowly fade away just before my High School graduation. Very tough time. He ended up passing 2 weeks before grad. Been thinking about him alot this weekend being memorial weekend and all. Think i'll bring him flowers tomorow.
    Good luck to you and your family.
  • arq
    arq Posts: 8,101
    I've lost a few love ones due to cancer... and the most valuable lesson I've learned is "show the love that you feel" and tell others what you've learned.

    My thoughts are with you in this painful time, you don't know me I don't know you but if you need to talk I'll be around here.
    "The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it"
    Neil deGrasse Tyson

    Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
  • ed243421
    ed243421 Posts: 7,756
    from an unwanted experience
    i know this will change you
    let it
    it's part of how we all die
    we need to know
    let it show you what is truly important in this life
    and let it show you what is not
    i hope peace can be with you and your family at this time
    The whole world will be different soon... - EV
    RED ROCKS 6-19-95
    AUGUSTA 9-26-96
    MANSFIELD 9-15-98
    BOSTON 9-29-04
    BOSTON 5-25-06
    MANSFIELD 6-30-08
    EV SOLO BOSTON 8-01-08
    BOSTON 5-17-10
    EV SOLO BOSTON 6-16-11
    PJ20 9-3-11
    PJ20 9-4-11
    WRIGLEY 7-19-13
    WORCESTER 10-15-13
    WORCESTER 10-16-13
    HARTFORD 10-25-13









  • michelleelise
    michelleelise Posts: 346
    I'm sorry to read this, unsung. I went through this with my mom just last summer and the honesty with which you wrote brought back a lot of memories and feelings from those days. I remember wondering how I could have forgotten for even a day, for even a moment, that our time together was limited and that we ought to be telling each other every day how much we care. I hate that we had to lose our mom to realize it, but our whole family is much closer now.

    You're in my thoughts and I wish for peace and grace for all of you.
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    :( I'm so sorry Unsung. I'll be praying for you and your family.

    I've lost a grandmother, a great-grandfather, an uncle, a cousin, etc. to cancer. I thank God every day that I've never lost a parent.

    Fuck cancer. :evil:

    Edit to add: The woman in my avatar is my grandmother who we lost to cancer.
  • mca47
    mca47 Posts: 13,343
    I work in cancer research and I have sadly been witness to the reality of this horrible disease more anyone really should.

    The most important thing I have learned in my years doing this work is this...

    People never realize what they have until it's gone. From the patient's perspective, once diagnosed it's always "Ok, I'm going to beat this and I'm going to change how I live my life". Sadly, those changes are often too little, too late. They quickly discover how beautiful the world is, and how they squandered away their lives when they could have done so much more...
    From the family and friends perspective it's often a time to look back and realize all the shit you missed in their life. A huge sense of selfishness, and regret come into play.

    Any way you look at it, it always boils down to this...

    Live your life for every second. Enjoy what you have and never hesitate to show the love you have for the important people in your life.
  • Gern Blansten
    Gern Blansten Mar-A-Lago Posts: 22,731
    sorry to hear....horrible disease
    Remember the Thomas Nine !! (10/02/2018)
    The Golden Age is 2 months away. And guess what….. you’re gonna love it! (teskeinc 11.19.24)

    1998: Noblesville; 2003: Noblesville; 2009: EV Nashville, Chicago, Chicago
    2010: St Louis, Columbus, Noblesville; 2011: EV Chicago, East Troy, East Troy
    2013: London ON, Wrigley; 2014: Cincy, St Louis, Moline (NO CODE)
    2016: Lexington, Wrigley #1; 2018: Wrigley, Wrigley, Boston, Boston
    2020: Oakland, Oakland:  2021: EV Ohana, Ohana, Ohana, Ohana
    2022: Oakland, Oakland, Nashville, Louisville; 2023: Chicago, Chicago, Noblesville
    2024: Noblesville, Wrigley, Wrigley, Ohana, Ohana; 2025: Pitt1, Pitt2
  • g under p
    g under p Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,247
    Very sorry to hear this sad news on your stepfather. I think most of us have been touched in some ways with this terrible disease. I cared for my sister for nine months as she went through radiation and chemotherapy. She's now a 5 year cancer survivor, cancer free and it's such a triumphant feeling when one can survive this disease.

    I just hope your stepfather has ALL of his loved ones around him in this time of grief for your family. I also hope he made to be comfortable through Hospice who do such a passionate job in these times for those about to meet their end. I wish for you and your family all the best.

    Peace
    *We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti

    *MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
    .....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti

    *The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)


  • Pepe Silvia
    Pepe Silvia Posts: 3,758
    sorry you and your family has to go through this
    don't compete; coexist

    what are you but my reflection? who am i to judge or strike you down?

    "I will promise you this, that if we have not gotten our troops out by the time I am president, it is the first thing I will do. I will get our troops home. We will bring an end to this war. You can take that to the bank." - Barack Obama

    when you told me 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'
    i was thinkin 'death before dishonor'
  • Byrnzie
    Byrnzie Posts: 21,037
    edited May 2010
    mca47 wrote:
    I work in cancer research and I have sadly been witness to the reality of this horrible disease more anyone really should.

    The most important thing I have learned in my years doing this work is this...

    People never realize what they have until it's gone. From the patient's perspective, once diagnosed it's always "Ok, I'm going to beat this and I'm going to change how I live my life". Sadly, those changes are often too little, too late. They quickly discover how beautiful the world is, and how they squandered away their lives when they could have done so much more...
    From the family and friends perspective it's often a time to look back and realize all the shit you missed in their life. A huge sense of selfishness, and regret come into play.

    Any way you look at it, it always boils down to this...

    Live your life for every second. Enjoy what you have and never hesitate to show the love you have for the important people in your life.

    Good post.

    Stay strong Unsung.
    Post edited by Byrnzie on
  • badbrains
    badbrains Posts: 10,255
    ed243421 wrote:
    from an unwanted experience
    i know this will change you
    let it
    it's part of how we all die
    we need to know
    let it show you what is truly important in this life
    and let it show you what is not
    i hope peace can be with you and your family at this time

    +1 let it take it's course, let it hurt you, make you cry, make you angry, make your mind hurt and your heart feel empty, then one day you'll wake up a different, stronger person with a different outlook on life. The sooner the better, but ONLY U will know when the healing ends.......and u know, wether we all agree with u or not, your pj family is here for you. Here for anyone who needs to vent, bitch, cry, or laugh. Hopefuly we can do a lot more laughing in the near future......good luck to you and your family in the healing process....
  • WindNoSail
    WindNoSail Posts: 580
    Not easy, at all...but if life must end then all we can hope for is to share it with people we love, so its good that you are there. Peace to you and your family, and especially to your step dad.
    HOB 10.05.2005, E Rutherford 06.03.2006, The Gorge 07.22.2006, Lolla 08.05.2007, West Palm 06.11.2008, Tampa 06.12.2008, Columbia 06.16.2008, EV Memphis 06.20.2009, New Orleans 05.01.2010, Kansas City 05.03.2010
  • polaris_x
    polaris_x Posts: 13,559
    if you live in the "western world" - you will undoubtedly be touched by cancer with the majority of us directly ...

    i hate to bring this up at a time of personal pain but the reality is that we can do stuff about it - why do we continue to allow this to grow and take lives young and old? ...
  • aerial
    aerial Posts: 2,319
    Unsung I am so sorry to hear you are going thru this….I lost my Mom to cancer when I was 5 and she was 26…….so I don’t remember to much about it….but I did go thru it with my father in law who was the kindest man I ever met…he treated my son (he was his step grandfather) like his own.I had never before or since gone thru cancer with anyone…..I hated sooo much for him to go but I also hated seeing such a great person in such pain…..I hated when he passed, at the same time I was relieved he was not suffering anymore….I felt a lot of confusion or guilt for having those feelings wondering if I was being selfish because of the pain I was feeling as he suffered… I will pray for you and your family to make it thru….I am so sorry
    “We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.” Abraham Lincoln
  • fife
    fife Posts: 3,327
    I remember when my dad died of Cancer, i was 18. it was the hardest thing that i had ever been through. It was only from remembering all the good and bad times me and him went through that i was able to realize how great he actually was.

    I have 5 aunts and my mom also had breast cancer (they all survived). it is a shame that we have not found a cure for this yet. but here is hoping that we do 1 day and people like your dad unsung and all the millions and millions of people can live a great long life.

    wish you all the best unsung.

Categories