Son just left home because of drugs

ajedigecko · May 2009

if you can not afford rent, school, bills,............then you can afford to abide by the rules of the parent.

man.............logic is lost.

_ · May 2009

redrock wrote:

Very little responsibilities, except 'selfish' ones when an adult lives with his/her parents. He/she only needs to think about himself/herself, his/her education, leisure time, etc.

I agree that this is true, but I sometimes wonder if it is healthy or if it contributes to producing irresponsible, selfish adults.

JaneNY · May 2009

To me, its not a matter of me demanding things of my 19 year old daughter, but I expect the same level of cooperation and team-work as I'd expect from an adult room mate. One of my rules is don't get in trouble. I'm pretty much don't ask, don't tell, and nothing better happen in my house. I'm flexible, but I'm not the maid or the bank or the bail office.

Heatherj43 · May 2009

Its what you needed to do, both for him and you. What you did is healthy!
I am a social worker now, but wasn't when I was raising my kids. I had to make my 14 yr.old son move to his dad's because his sister and myself did not deserve to be forced to live with the problems an addicted person puts on all those around them.
He always had a choice, and chose drug use. Although it is a disease,etc., there is also a way to keep it inactive, that is where it is his responsibility. Like a diabetic is responsible to do what they have to do to stay healthy, so does an addict!
You are doing the best thing, believe me. One must be sick and tired enough to reach rock bottom and chose recovery. His rock bottom isn't what you would think it is. It is his bottom and he will decide what that is.
NO ONE should have to live with a using addict or alcoholic.
You can be supportive if he ever does try to get clean, but don't let him come back then. He has to quit for himself, not just to move home, or any reason except for him. Moving back will be a trigger for him to use again. So, he has to move, period!
Letting go is the hardest thing I ever did, but I did it.
My son is now 34. Still using, but still alive, and I think me making him move is why he is at least alive. I am no longer co-dependant and it has made him have to grow up some.
He has tried treatment and NA meetings, so the seeds are planted and we all are living way more serene.
He has the right to make his mistakes and to decide when to get help, without you or anyone doing it for him. YOU CAN'T! He HAS TO DO THIS BY HIMSELF, or with the help of recovery programs. You are too close to it emotionally and are not able to help and will never be. You really have no right to stop him from skinning his knees when he falls.
I know this is hard on you and if you are like me, it was killing me to think I was no longer in charge. Truth is, I never was. I was very afraid he'd die. My 29 yr.old son-in-law recently did die, but it was HIS choice. He knew about recovery and how to egt to it, etc. NO ONE could had changed him. He had to want to change and didn't and death happened. His life, his choices. NO ONE could change it, but him.
LET GO AND LET GOD.

Love to you. I hope you can find serenity in it all, Heather

The Champ · May 2009

It's funny how these things turn out. Sometimes good and sometimes bad, I guess you never can tell. I was a total pothead, smoked about 4 times per day for years till I turned it all around when I hit 20. I quit everything cold turkey one day; smoking cigarettes, weed, drinking, eating like shit..instead started training, focusing on college and living healthy...my only vice was the pussy, and it almost killed me

..

Anyway, I guess I simple grew out of it. Am one of the lucky ones who could. Soulsinging makes a good point, but unfortunately not everyone is as lucky as us..though I am a firm believer that people need to get this shit out of their system and it's better to do so when you're young, as opposed to getting that itch once married with kids..cause eventually we all get that itch, and I for one am glad I scratched it young..

yellowporch · May 2009

HailHailVitalogy wrote:

I'm 20, and I smoke pot.

First of all, I'm not disagreeing with you at all but listen...

Pot is not the reason for acting immature or stupid and not taking responsibility. Yeah when I ONLY smoked pot, I was an idiot didn't give a fuck about anything, got into blow.

Then college started and the partying continued but I realized I had a responsibility to my parents as well as to myself. Yeah I drink, I smoke, whatever but my environment, the people I hang out with, the way I educate myself on issues and school has shaped myself, not pot.

It's extremely frustrating for a 20 year old to be monitored day in and day out by our parents or someone who we look up to. Yeah, we may do stupid things but we learn from it...it all has to do with the way we are brought up. I'm sure you raised him right, but make sure he has morals where he can learn to be responsible and set goals for the future.

That being said...I'm currently going to be a Junior at George Mason University. I'm majoring in Journalism and minoring in Business, I got my own place to live, got a job so I can pay my rent and food and buy some green to calm me down when it gets stressful.

EDIT: Let me just also say that without the support of my parents financially and emotionally, I would be in a hell hole.

totally on the same page.
20 years old, smoke pot every night
yes i live at home while commuting to a state school, in respect to my mom, i smoke outside or at a friends before coming home= hardly a problem. I made dean's list at school and have a part time job and pay for my first car every month.

it's all about morals, i respect my mom as a person, friend, and parent, so if im going to buy pot, i first make my car payment and fill up my car to make it to school.
Im just a kid, but the way i look at it, a bowl is the perfect night cap after studying or writing a paper. my mom doesnt quiz me on where ive been or what i do, and because of that, i owe it to her to be safe and respectful, so i dont stress her out.
for the OP, im not sure the advice for you, you seem like a good parent, you worry like any good parent would, my mom worries every time i get in a car, its natural.
dont beat yourself up, if your son will learn anything out of this, he'll be greatful and hopefully a little more understanding, try to find a common ground, lifes too short to be hostile over a little pot, i hope your son comes around, and you welcome him with open arms and an open mind.

sorry if i repeated or missed something, its a long thread, and just wanted to put my .02 in.

Thoughts_Arrive · May 2009

For those of you that smoke pot regularly...
Aren't you scared that you may get a long term sever mental illness like schizophrenia from your habit?
And do you still feel the same effect as when you first tried it, or are you now immune to it?

redrock · May 2009

scb wrote:

redrock wrote:

Very little responsibilities, except 'selfish' ones when an adult lives with his/her parents. He/she only needs to think about himself/herself, his/her education, leisure time, etc.

I agree that this is true, but I sometimes wonder if it is healthy or if it contributes to producing irresponsible, selfish adults.

Not automatically though I am sure it does happen. It's all part of parenting. Hopefully with the kind of parenting these children get, they will realise what they are getting is not just to make their lives easy at home but to give them all they need for their future and that their 'responsibility' is to make good use of everything. That is how kids can 'repay' their parents.

yellowporch wrote:

20 years old, smoke pot every night
yes i live at home while commuting to a state school, in respect to my mom, i smoke outside or at a friends before coming home= hardly a problem.

So I assume that, out of respect for your mom, you don't stash any illegal substances at home? You also mention some kind of 'being responsible' since you make sure you have gas in your car before you buy drugs. How about trying to spend YOUR money on necessities and things to help your future instead of drugs? Aren't you happy you have parents that thought things through a bit better and made sure they spent money on you before anything illegal? You also say 'Im just a kid'... but you're not. You are 20 - an adult - someone who could be living his/her own INDEPENDENT life, not relying on parents.

I didn't read the OP's posts as saying she was controlling her son's life (wanting to know every minute of the day where he was, what he was doing, etc.). There were his drugs in HER home, HER car. It is not just being 'hostile over a little pot', it is the lies, the deception... the disapointment, the loss of trust... all of that. That's what hurts. This mother has seen what it can do to her son's future (ie not going for a GOOD job because he knows he will fail the drugs test).

For the record, I'm not a 'controlling' mother or an overbearing one, but it would be reasonable for me to ask my daughter, as long as she relies on us, not to be high or drunk every night, whether she smokes/drinks outside of my home or not. I would seriously question her 'habits' if she did as I do believe this would have an impact on her studies (which I am paying for), her health and her future. Once she is independent and has her own life, then, as a parent, I can only propose/suggest/support; but until then, there are 'rules' at home.

I still can't believe how many 'young ones' find it perfectly acceptable (and proud?) to use drugs or alcohol as a matter of course - just part of their day. Needing a daily smoke or drink (yes, even one whisky or sthe likes) to be able to wind down is considered an addiction.

yellowporch · May 2009

redrock wrote:

scb wrote:

redrock wrote:

Very little responsibilities, except 'selfish' ones when an adult lives with his/her parents. He/she only needs to think about himself/herself, his/her education, leisure time, etc.

I agree that this is true, but I sometimes wonder if it is healthy or if it contributes to producing irresponsible, selfish adults.

Not automatically though I am sure it does happen. It's all part of parenting. Hopefully with the kind of parenting these children get, they will realise what they are getting is not just to make their lives easy at home but to give them all they need for their future and that their 'responsibility' is to make good use of everything. That is how kids can 'repay' their parents.

yellowporch wrote:

20 years old, smoke pot every night
yes i live at home while commuting to a state school, in respect to my mom, i smoke outside or at a friends before coming home= hardly a problem.

So I assume that, out of respect for your mom, you don't stash any illegal substances at home? You also mention some kind of 'being responsible' since you make sure you have gas in your car before you buy drugs. How about trying to spend YOUR money on necessities and things to help your future instead of drugs? Aren't you happy you have parents that thought things through a bit better and made sure they spent money on you before anything illegal? You also say 'Im just a kid'... but you're not. You are 20 - an adult - someone who could be living his/her own INDEPENDENT life, not relying on parents.

I didn't read the OP's posts as saying she was controlling her son's life (wanting to know every minute of the day where he was, what he was doing, etc.). There were his drugs in HER home, HER car. It is not just being 'hostile over a little pot', it is the lies, the deception... the disapointment, the loss of trust... all of that. That's what hurts. This mother has seen what it can do to her son's future (ie not going for a GOOD job because he knows he will fail the drugs test).

For the record, I'm not a 'controlling' mother or an overbearing one, but it would be reasonable for me to ask my daughter, as long as she relies on us, not to be high or drunk every night, whether she smokes/drinks outside of my home or not. I would seriously question her 'habits' if she did as I do believe this would have an impact on her studies (which I am paying for), her health and her future. Once she is independent and has her own life, then, as a parent, I can only propose/suggest/support; but until then, there are 'rules' at home.

I still can't believe how many 'young ones' find it perfectly acceptable (and proud?) to use drugs or alcohol as a matter of course - just part of their day. Needing a daily smoke or drink (yes, even one whisky or sthe likes) to be able to wind down is considered an addiction.

Hi redrock. That was my girlfriend who posted that last night and I'm not going to stick up for her because it is a bad habit but maybe I can make it a bit clearer. I think she assumed that the OP was kicking her son out of the house, which in my opinion WOULD be bad parenting. Giving up on your son because of pot is more than tough love, it's being an authoritarian. I understand that that's not what the OP is doing but that's why I think my girlfriend was rubbed the wrong way about the argument. Now for my own opinion...

When my parents found out I smoked pot (I don't do it regularly because it effects my grades) they were upset just like a lot of you. However, they realized that they THEMSELVES smoked pot as kids and wound up being just fine. I live in a place that had drugs flowing in high school that were far more dangerous than pot. I'm proud that I never tried these because a lot of my peers did and are hooked. And I think there was someone who was saying that the parent and the twenty year old aren't equals. Are you serious? Everybody in this post is saying that the twenty year old is grown up and can do his own thing, right? Then why is he not considered as an equal now? I'm 21, still an adolescent coping with his environment an the everyday struggles but I'm on equal plane with my parents. As a matter of fact, I have more education than my parents have so does that make me above them? Just because my parents have more experience doesn't make them any more or less of a human being than I am. I respect my parents to no end and the thing I respect them most for is the fact that they don't hang the money they've spent on me over my head. Your kids are your greatest investments so don't tell them that "they need to do good in this or that because we spent the money." WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. Get off your high horses and let your kids make some choices. If you want advice, look at who your kid is hanging out with. It's usually a HUGE factor in to why he's "doing drugs."

redrock · May 2009

yellowporch wrote:

Hi redrock. That was my girlfriend who posted that last night and I'm not going to stick up for her because it is a bad habit ..

OK

yellowporch wrote:

And I think there was someone who was saying that the parent and the twenty year old aren't equals. Are you serious? Everybody in this post is saying that the twenty year old is grown up and can do his own thing, right? Then why is he not considered as an equal now? "

What I think people meant is that, if you are 20 and living at home and relying on your parents for your needs, you are not 'equal'. There is still the very definite parent/child relationship because this 20 year old is not independent. So I argue that, in this case, a parent still has the obligation to 'parent'. Now if this 20 year old is living a fully independent life (ie own place, not relying on parents' money, etc.) then the relationship becomes adult/adult, therefore 'equal'. The 'equal' has nothing to do with an 'above or below' status - it's based on dependency. The tables could also be turned the other way. Say you are in your mid thirties, good income, good home, good life. Something happens and your parents need help - you offer they come live with you. I'm sure you will have some 'rules' too and, to a point, they will have to fit in. So for me, it is not a question of age, but a question of where one is at in his/her life. Not sure if this makes sense to 'non parents of older kids'!

Also, I don't think parents 'hang the money over kids' heads'. As I said before, parents (most) will do everything in their power to ensure their kid has a good start in life. Many, many sacrifices are made. Not 'I pay for this, therefore you do as I say'. That is not the goal.

yellowporch wrote:

If you want advice, look at who your kid is hanging out with. It's usually a HUGE factor in to why he's "doing drugs."

Absolutely. But then when the parents say to the kid... 'I don't want you hanging out with those people because drugs, etc.', is that the parents still being on their high horses? Do they have the 'right' to say that to their kid living under their roof? Are they then accused of 'monitoring' them all the time and wanting to run their lives. Most parents don't do things like that for the pleasure of doing it......

yellowporch · May 2009

redrock wrote:

yellowporch wrote:

Hi redrock. That was my girlfriend who posted that last night and I'm not going to stick up for her because it is a bad habit ..

OK

yellowporch wrote:

And I think there was someone who was saying that the parent and the twenty year old aren't equals. Are you serious? Everybody in this post is saying that the twenty year old is grown up and can do his own thing, right? Then why is he not considered as an equal now? "

What I think people meant is that, if you are 20 and living at home and relying on your parents for your needs, you are not 'equal'. There is still the very definite parent/child relationship because this 20 year old is not independent. So I argue that, in this case, a parent still has the obligation to 'parent'. Now if this 20 year old is living a fully independent life (ie own place, not relying on parents' money, etc.) then the relationship becomes adult/adult, therefore 'equal'. The 'equal' has nothing to do with an 'above or below' status - it's based on dependency. The tables could also be turned the other way. Say you are in your mid thirties, good income, good home, good life. Something happens and your parents need help - you offer they come live with you. I'm sure you will have some 'rules' too and, to a point, they will have to fit in. So for me, it is not a question of age, but a question of where one is at in his/her life. Not sure if this makes sense to 'non parents of older kids'!

yellowporch wrote:

If you want advice, look at who your kid is hanging out with. It's usually a HUGE factor in to why he's "doing drugs."

Absolutely. But then when the parents say to the kid... 'I don't want you hanging out with those people because drugs, etc.', is that the parents still being on their high horses? Do they have the 'right' to say that to their kid living under their roof? Are they then accused of 'monitoring' them all the time and wanting to run their lives. Most parents don't do things like that for the pleasure of doing it......

I agree with you on the second part. Thank you for clearing that up for me because it seemed off to me. I'm in the adult-adult side of things so maybe that's why it was hard to get at first. And as for who your children are hanging out with, if you say "no" you mean no. That was never a problem for me as a kid. Redrock, you seem like a great parent and I was just trying to get my side out. My relationship with my parents is great and it's due to some of the choices they let me make as I got older. I know parents who have chosen which college their kid would attend and there was no difference in money. Some things just seem a bid sad when the kid has no rights at all.

redrock · May 2009

yellowporch wrote:

I agree with you on the second part. Thank you for clearing that up for me because it seemed off to me. I'm in the adult-adult side of things so maybe that's why it was hard to get at first. And as for who your children are hanging out with, if you say "no" you mean no. That was never a problem for me as a kid. Redrock, you seem like a great parent and I was just trying to get my side out. My relationship with my parents is great and it's due to some of the choices they let me make as I got older. I know parents who have chosen which college their kid would attend and there was no difference in money. Some things just seem a bid sad when the kid has no rights at all.

There are some domineering parents, some 'couldn't care less' parents, etc. But in general a parent has a bit more foresight than their kid and will endeavour to help them as much as possible. Parents are not infallible - far from that. We make mistakes as well.

When you say 'And as for who your children are hanging out with, if you say "no" you mean no. That was never a problem for me as a kid', some posters seem to have problems with that kind of 'rule' or discipline, ie let your kid find out for himself/herself....

I hope I am a good parent. My daughter is 'only' 14 but as she has always been able to have a choice (albeit sometimes very limited due to her age). I have 'let' her make the wrong choice too - as long as there were no dire/important consequences - because kids HAVE to learn. There are things she is NOT allowed to do, things she MUST do and things that are OK at home but not elsewhere (for example she is allowed wine at home - within reason with a sunday meal for example, but she knows she is not of legal drinking age..) but she has a lot of freedom. There are things some of her friends do behind their parents back which, for her, are just not worth the deception (especially drinking). I'm hoping that the values she is being taught will carry over to adulthood.

soulsinging · May 2009

tybird wrote:

Obviously...I'm tired of pro-pot folks calling me because I do not support the idea of smoking pot in public...ever...I apologize if I crossed the line in the sand, but the rudeness about my views on pot apparently hit the limit.

Your views on smoking pot in public are not a problem. They're legit. It's the judgments you make about the personality and character of people that indulge in a little pot smoking that is fucking ridiculous. You live in the south right? So you MUST be an inbred, gun-totin, sister-loving redneck right? See how fucking dumb that is?

soulsinging · May 2009

redrock wrote:

So I assume that, out of respect for your mom, you don't stash any illegal substances at home? You also mention some kind of 'being responsible' since you make sure you have gas in your car before you buy drugs. How about trying to spend YOUR money on necessities and things to help your future instead of drugs? Aren't you happy you have parents that thought things through a bit better and made sure they spent money on you before anything illegal? You also say 'Im just a kid'... but you're not. You are 20 - an adult - someone who could be living his/her own INDEPENDENT life, not relying on parents.

I didn't read the OP's posts as saying she was controlling her son's life (wanting to know every minute of the day where he was, what he was doing, etc.). There were his drugs in HER home, HER car. It is not just being 'hostile over a little pot', it is the lies, the deception... the disapointment, the loss of trust... all of that. That's what hurts. This mother has seen what it can do to her son's future (ie not going for a GOOD job because he knows he will fail the drugs test).

Odd that I'm almost on the opposite page. You can't tell me you never once lied to your parents about what you were doing when you were 20. So I think this whole loss of trust thing is nonsense. Teens and adolescents deceive their parents, they lie and they hid things. It's not some horrible mark on them or some horrible betrayal of their parents. It's just what they do when they want to test waters they know their parents don't approve of. I'm 27 and I still hide the occasional cigarette I smoke from my mom, just because I don't want to get a lecture about it. If I did it regularly it might be another story, but come on. I'd be more worried about a kid that is 100% honest with their parents about anything... that seems alarming. This whole "he lied to me" thing is a non-issue. Of course he did. He didn't want a big deal made of it because he doesn't see it as the big deal she does. Nothing horrible or alarming or unexpected about him trying to keep his pot-smoking quiet.

But I do agree with her stance on her house. It's her house, her rules. If he doesn't like them, he can go. Which is what happened. Hopefully this will be a valuable learning experience for him. But he doesn't "owe" it to her to quit smoking and stay in her home just because of what she has done for him in the past.

redrock · May 2009

soulsinging wrote:

You can't tell me you never once lied to your parents about what you were doing when you were 20. So I think this whole loss of trust thing is nonsense. Teens and adolescents deceive their parents, they lie and they hid things. It's not some horrible mark on them or some horrible betrayal of their parents. It's just what they do when they want to test waters they know their parents don't approve of. I'm 27 and I still hide the occasional cigarette I smoke from my mom, just because I don't want to get a lecture about it. If I did it regularly it might be another story, but come on. I'd be more worried about a kid that is 100% honest with their parents about anything... that seems alarming. This whole "he lied to me" thing is a non-issue. Of course he did. He didn't want a big deal made of it because he doesn't see it as the big deal she does. Nothing horrible or alarming or unexpected about him trying to keep his pot-smoking quiet.

But I do agree with her stance on her house. It's her house, her rules. If he doesn't like them, he can go. Which is what happened. Hopefully this will be a valuable learning experience for him. But he doesn't "owe" it to her to quit smoking and stay in her home just because of what she has done for him in the past.

Of course kids lie and hide things from their parents. But when it is something that has been going on for a while and the deception has been longer term, yes, trust is lost. Same as if your wife has an affair, she lies about it, you find out, she lies more... your trust in her will certainly be eroded.

He doesn't 'owe' anything to his mother for what she has done for him in the past - again, that is what parents do. What he does owe her is respect. What he does have to do is follow the rules that go in HER house. If stashing drugs in her house and car is against those rules, then those rules go. If being stoned in her home is against the rules, then that goes too.

soulsinging · May 2009

redrock wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

You can't tell me you never once lied to your parents about what you were doing when you were 20. So I think this whole loss of trust thing is nonsense. Teens and adolescents deceive their parents, they lie and they hid things. It's not some horrible mark on them or some horrible betrayal of their parents. It's just what they do when they want to test waters they know their parents don't approve of. I'm 27 and I still hide the occasional cigarette I smoke from my mom, just because I don't want to get a lecture about it. If I did it regularly it might be another story, but come on. I'd be more worried about a kid that is 100% honest with their parents about anything... that seems alarming. This whole "he lied to me" thing is a non-issue. Of course he did. He didn't want a big deal made of it because he doesn't see it as the big deal she does. Nothing horrible or alarming or unexpected about him trying to keep his pot-smoking quiet.

But I do agree with her stance on her house. It's her house, her rules. If he doesn't like them, he can go. Which is what happened. Hopefully this will be a valuable learning experience for him. But he doesn't "owe" it to her to quit smoking and stay in her home just because of what she has done for him in the past.

Of course kids lie and hide things from their parents. But when it is something that has been going on for a while and the deception has been longer term, yes, trust is lost. Same as if your wife has an affair, she lies about it, you find out, she lies more... your trust in her will certainly be eroded.

He doesn't 'owe' anything to his mother for what she has done for him in the past - again, that is what parents do. What he does owe her is respect. What he does have to do is follow the rules that go in HER house. If stashing drugs in her house and car is against those rules, then those rules go. If being stoned in her home is against the rules, then that goes too.

So he left. Problem solved.

As to your scenario, the wife goes out with the affair. I don't give a fuck about being lied to about it... would it be ok if she told me up front and then went out to fuck some guy? Of course not. So are we saying here that he should have told her he was smoking pot and then all would have been forgiven? That's ridiculous.

redrock · May 2009

soulsinging wrote:

So he left. Problem solved..

You're not a parent, are you?

soulsinging wrote:

As to your scenario, the wife goes out with the affair. I don't give a fuck about being lied to about it... would it be ok if she told me up front and then went out to fuck some guy? Of course not. So are we saying here that he should have told her he was smoking pot and then all would have been forgiven? That's ridiculous.

You may not give a fuck about your wife lying about having an affair... hey... maybe you will be doing the same thing, but any man who loves his wife and thought he had a good marriage would be troubled by the deception. But I understand that you are not 'any man'.

At least if you were told up front that was happening, you would know where you stand and could act upon it accordingly.

And if Keiran's son would have told him mom upfront: 'Mom, I'm gonna do drugs and stash these illegal drugs in your home and your car even if it is something I know really hurts you and is against all your values, what you stand for and what you taught me but I really don't give a fuck about about you and your opinion, your rules and your parenting.', yep, I think it would have made a huge difference in how Keiran would react. Call me naive if you wish....

Lifted · May 2009

first of all, it is only pot. i'm sorry, but despite what you may think, unless he's selling it, you aren't really in any legal danger because your son is smoking pot. personally i see nothing wrong with it...that said, if your son is living in your house, you have every right to set the rules and if he doesn't want to follow them he should go support himself. 20 years old? i would think he'd want to get out of his parents house anyway. he also seems to be a bit immature about the whole situation based on the little information you gave, but hey, what do you expect from a 20 year old male?

no excuse to be calling your mother a bitch though. that's wrong.

tybird · May 2009

soulsinging wrote:

tybird wrote:

Obviously...I'm tired of pro-pot folks calling me because I do not support the idea of smoking pot in public...ever...I apologize if I crossed the line in the sand, but the rudeness about my views on pot apparently hit the limit.

Your views on smoking pot in public are not a problem. They're legit. It's the judgments you make about the personality and character of people that indulge in a little pot smoking that is fucking ridiculous. You live in the south right? So you MUST be an inbred, gun-totin, sister-loving redneck right? See how fucking dumb that is?

Sounds about right.... :twisted:

vduboise · May 2009

Tiki Barber wrote:

first of all, it is only pot. i'm sorry, but despite what you may think, unless he's selling it, you aren't really in any legal danger because your son is smoking pot. personally i see nothing wrong with it...that said, if your son is living in your house, you have every right to set the rules and if he doesn't want to follow them he should go support himself. 20 years old? i would think he'd want to get out of his parents house anyway. he also seems to be a bit immature about the whole situation based on the little information you gave, but hey, what do you expect from a 20 year old male?

no excuse to be calling your mother a bitch though. that's wrong.

Under it all, Its not about the pot. (granted, she does not allow it in her house/car) Its about respect. She does not allow it around her and him being an "adult" should respect her rules while living there. If you had a an apartment and had room-mate and it was generally understood that no cigarette was allowed and they did it anyway- is that not dis-respectful of the rules that was set down when they moved in? Would you not get upset and give them a choice on what they want to do- stop or move out!

The OP gave him a choice- and that was to leave. It is heartbreaking as a parent to give those options, but it was the right thing for her to do. He will live, learn, and maybe appreciate what his parents did for him.

Son just left home because of drugs

Comments

Categories