if one is truly smart about it, one never need to lie.
seriously, i NEVER lied to my parents about such things, simply b/c i never got asked. why? b/c i was smart about it. there really is a whole bunch of stuff that my parents didn't know b/c they didn't ask...and i certainly wasn't volunteering the info either. while i get your point....i think a lot of people simply see it differently, and perhaps many of em didn't smoke or use any drugs, or were more upfront with their parents...who knows? as to kieran's story.....yes, absolutely her right to do what she did, and absolutely the son's right to do what he did. i simply think she laments that it ever got to this point. no matter what one's own background, i guess parents always hope things won't go down like this. obviously, it's still fresh and new, so that could have a lot to do with her reaction......
yes!!
my folks don't most of what i did when i lived under their roof...and kieran's reaction is because it just happened and is in shock somewhat
exactly.
i don't have children and no plans to.....and while i can empathize to a certain degree, bottoline i cannot know how it feels for her. i can only imagine how difficult it was, and still is......b/c no one wants this. yes, we all know a lot of it simply growning up, expressing one's autonomy, etc....but none the less.....i personally think she merely was/is venting, and just needs a wee bit of understanding/support.....some good ole...
I feel like I'm in a pit of nightmares and my soul is being torn apart by jackals. I don't know if I should cry or spit from anger.
Parenting is tough. My 18 year old is going through the same thing, but you just gotta hope that whatever journey he is on is only going to make him stronger in the long run. That doesn't mean that you should LIKE what he's doing but you should LOVE him unconditionally. Someday, when he's ready, he will remember that you were firm but did it because you cared. And maybe burnt bridges can be mended stronger than they were before. At least that's what I'm hoping for...
if one is truly smart about it, one never need to lie.
seriously, i NEVER lied to my parents about such things, simply b/c i never got asked. why? b/c i was smart about it. there really is a whole bunch of stuff that my parents didn't know b/c they didn't ask...and i certainly wasn't volunteering the info either. while i get your point....i think a lot of people simply see it differently, and perhaps many of em didn't smoke or use any drugs, or were more upfront with their parents...who knows? as to kieran's story.....yes, absolutely her right to do what she did, and absolutely the son's right to do what he did. i simply think she laments that it ever got to this point. no matter what one's own background, i guess parents always hope things won't go down like this. obviously, it's still fresh and new, so that could have a lot to do with her reaction......
yes!!
my folks don't most of what i did when i lived under their roof...and kieran's reaction is because it just happened and is in shock somewhat
And I can agree with that. I've no doubt it hit like a ton of bricks and she's reeling. I'm just saying I don't think many people here are faulting her for any of this. People are just trying to be supportive by pointing out that this is, all things considered, a pretty typical part of the whole "kid growing up and asserting independence" thing. The intent is not to scold her or excuse her son's crap behavior, the intent is to say this is pretty normal growing pains and it does not mean her kid is in imminent danger of dying, hates her and doesn't at all appreciate anything she's ever done for him, or will never see her again. This is just another normal, albeit uncomfortable, part of the changing nature of the parent-child relationship as that child grows to adulthood. Just a kind of "hey, many of us have seen this from both sides, and it's going to be ok" thing.
The shit I did to my parents was so much worse... and here I am sitting in their house, not doing any drugs, and studying for my last hurdle to become a licensed attorney. I've no doubt my mom at times felt the way Keiran does... I only say these things to reassure her that her fears likely will not come to pass. And to remind her that it could be way worse for her son... he could be an attorney
if one is truly smart about it, one never need to lie.
seriously, i NEVER lied to my parents about such things, simply b/c i never got asked. why? b/c i was smart about it. there really is a whole bunch of stuff that my parents didn't know b/c they didn't ask...and i certainly wasn't volunteering the info either. while i get your point....i think a lot of people simply see it differently, and perhaps many of em didn't smoke or use any drugs, or were more upfront with their parents...who knows? as to kieran's story.....yes, absolutely her right to do what she did, and absolutely the son's right to do what he did. i simply think she laments that it ever got to this point. no matter what one's own background, i guess parents always hope things won't go down like this. obviously, it's still fresh and new, so that could have a lot to do with her reaction......
yes!!
my folks don't most of what i did when i lived under their roof...and kieran's reaction is because it just happened and is in shock somewhat
And I can agree with that. I've no doubt it hit like a ton of bricks and she's reeling. I'm just saying I don't think many people here are faulting her for any of this. People are just trying to be supportive by pointing out that this is, all things considered, a pretty typical part of the whole "kid growing up and asserting independence" thing. The intent is not to scold her or excuse her son's crap behavior, the intent is to say this is pretty normal growing pains and it does not mean her kid is in imminent danger of dying, hates her and doesn't at all appreciate anything she's ever done for him, or will never see her again. This is just another normal, albeit uncomfortable, part of the changing nature of the parent-child relationship as that child grows to adulthood. Just a kind of "hey, many of us have seen this from both sides, and it's going to be ok" thing.
The shit I did to my parents was so much worse... and here I am sitting in their house, not doing any drugs, and studying for my last hurdle to become a licensed attorney. I've no doubt my mom at times felt the way Keiran does... I only say these things to reassure her that her fears likely will not come to pass. And to remind her that it could be way worse for her son... he could be an attorney
as with most things, it's all in the delivery of the message, that's all.......
good points.
Comments
exactly.
i don't have children and no plans to.....and while i can empathize to a certain degree, bottoline i cannot know how it feels for her. i can only imagine how difficult it was, and still is......b/c no one wants this. yes, we all know a lot of it simply growning up, expressing one's autonomy, etc....but none the less.....i personally think she merely was/is venting, and just needs a wee bit of understanding/support.....some good ole...
it's OK, we still love you anyway..........:)
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
And I can agree with that. I've no doubt it hit like a ton of bricks and she's reeling. I'm just saying I don't think many people here are faulting her for any of this. People are just trying to be supportive by pointing out that this is, all things considered, a pretty typical part of the whole "kid growing up and asserting independence" thing. The intent is not to scold her or excuse her son's crap behavior, the intent is to say this is pretty normal growing pains and it does not mean her kid is in imminent danger of dying, hates her and doesn't at all appreciate anything she's ever done for him, or will never see her again. This is just another normal, albeit uncomfortable, part of the changing nature of the parent-child relationship as that child grows to adulthood. Just a kind of "hey, many of us have seen this from both sides, and it's going to be ok" thing.
The shit I did to my parents was so much worse... and here I am sitting in their house, not doing any drugs, and studying for my last hurdle to become a licensed attorney. I've no doubt my mom at times felt the way Keiran does... I only say these things to reassure her that her fears likely will not come to pass. And to remind her that it could be way worse for her son... he could be an attorney
as with most things, it's all in the delivery of the message, that's all.......
good points.
and hey, you're not an attorney....yet.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
i'm waiting for that thread from kieran