Need a little advice...
PJSerf
Posts: 637
I don't post in this forum too often anymore, but have seen some decent advice handed out here, and could use a little perspective.
So, I have remained great friends with an ex (we broke up 2 years ago), and we hang out all the time, but its been strictly a friendship. She dated another guy after me, and broke up with him over a year ago. In the past year, we have traveled to see Pearl Jam, seen the Dropkick Murphys in Boston, gone to many sporting events, and gone to a few weddings and family events with each other. So basically, it was like a relationship, without the commitment or sex
Anyhow, fast forward to this past weekend, and my best friend got married, and I was his best man. My ex was invited separately by herself, as we now kind of share the same circle of friends. Well, at the wedding, I was introduced to a another woman, and we hit it off. I am now going out with this woman this weekend, and now get the feeling that I've really hurt my ex's feelings. Mutual friends keep asking me if I'm sure this is the right thing to do. I say yes, because I was more than willing to give a relationship another shot with my ex, and she knew that, but kept saying she wasn't ready.
I don't want to ruin our great friendship, but at the same time, I can't wait around for her to decide when the time is right, when she's had plenty of time to make that decision.
Thanks for any advice you guys provide.
So, I have remained great friends with an ex (we broke up 2 years ago), and we hang out all the time, but its been strictly a friendship. She dated another guy after me, and broke up with him over a year ago. In the past year, we have traveled to see Pearl Jam, seen the Dropkick Murphys in Boston, gone to many sporting events, and gone to a few weddings and family events with each other. So basically, it was like a relationship, without the commitment or sex
Anyhow, fast forward to this past weekend, and my best friend got married, and I was his best man. My ex was invited separately by herself, as we now kind of share the same circle of friends. Well, at the wedding, I was introduced to a another woman, and we hit it off. I am now going out with this woman this weekend, and now get the feeling that I've really hurt my ex's feelings. Mutual friends keep asking me if I'm sure this is the right thing to do. I say yes, because I was more than willing to give a relationship another shot with my ex, and she knew that, but kept saying she wasn't ready.
I don't want to ruin our great friendship, but at the same time, I can't wait around for her to decide when the time is right, when she's had plenty of time to make that decision.
Thanks for any advice you guys provide.
"If you love someone, set them free... if someone loves you, don't fuck up" - EV
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Comments
^^^
what he said.
she's had AMPLE time to let her feelings be known, say she wanted to give you two as a couple another go, and she hasn't. i am sure on the one hand, it could very well be she still has feelings for you, yet not enough to act....and also can be, she has simply grown accustomed to having you around, even as just a friend....and knows if you begin a relationship with another girl, that will change...you won't have the same time for her, etc. do what is best for YOU. good luck!
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
It's sounds like the classic - I don't want you UNTIL someone else does
don't fall for it
Your ex was comfortable with you so she hung out with you...you can't tell me if she met some dude at the wedding the way you did that she wouldn't be moving on...you know she would be
Do not wait for anyone...life is too short
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
anyhoo - if you love your ex ... then i think you owe it to yourself and to that potential to at least put it out there to her ... if you're not sure after all this time as well - definitely move on ... i subscribe to the "no regrets" approach ... 6 months from now are you gonna regret not going out with new girl or trying again with your ex?
I don't want to ruin a great friendship, and have given my ex plenty of chances, I think its just time to move on.
We'll see how the weekend goes. I've been completely honest with her about the new girl, and am just trying to go about this the right way.
Thanks again guys!
Serf good to see u around again and hope you had a good session. U have to go on a date with the new girl. it always seems that when a female knows she might lose u is when she decides she really wants u. hell this might be the reason for your ex to realize that she maybe does really wanna be with u (is she the bartender from shanigans). anyway u would be cheating yourself if u didn't go out with new girl girl. Good luck and hope to see to u around the tables in the future.[/quote]
Thanks Joe. Yes, its the same girl. Thanks for the advice.
(It was a good session for me in 9-ball, bad session in 8-ball. Actually playing on 3 teams this summer... hope I'm not taking on too much. )
being a gentleman????
FUCK THAT!!!!
sleep with the new girl....
sleep with the old girl.....
sleep with all their friends.......
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!!!!
and i dont give a rats ass what anyone thinks.....
but i am being 100% serious....
you only live once...........
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
This is probalby true. She may not realize it but this sounds like what is happening. IF you really hit it off with that girl don't let someone who obviously broke up with you before who had a chance with you skrew this up for you.
Charlotte 03
Asheville 04
Atlanta 12
Greenville 16, Columbia 16
Seattle 18
Nashville 22
Ohana Festival 24 x2
Yeah, I realize that this is probably the case. I am going to move forward with the new woman, and see what happens.
Thanks!
+1,000
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
+1 and I'm female. There is no way you are going to remain friends once other people come into the picture. As much as you would like it to, impossible...
I went out with the new girl on Friday night and had an amazing time. 6 hours of fun conversation with no awkward silences, etc.
Saturday, the ex tells me that she's very jealous and wishes we'd get back together. ( I somehow knew this was coming from a mile away) I told her that her timing is off, and that I'm planning on going out with new girl again. She says she understood, and doesn't want things to change between us. We shall see.
Now, I'm just really looking forward to date #2 tomorrow night!!!
Love it! Keep on, keeping on!