A question about children

2

Comments

  • Who Princess
    Who Princess out here in the fields Posts: 7,305
    blondieblue227 wrote:
    They must be catholic

    I have a friend that’s catholic and I really resent her when she judges me for using birth control and for not wanting kids. I’m disabled. Do you realize how hard life would be for me if I got pregnant? I just want to slap her in the face.
    Not necessarily. There are some other fundamentalist Christians, also Mormons, who believe you should have as many children as God sends. And lots of Catholics use birth control.

    These people must have started really young if he's 26 and has 7 kids. You'd think it would have been a reality check by now. :rolleyes:
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • saveuplife
    saveuplife Posts: 1,173
    vduboise wrote:
    So I have a friend who just announced that he is having another child. This will be his seventh one. He just had a baby in January. He is 26 and all his children are under the age of 10. He has a low paying job, his wife does not work, and they are on public assistance.
    When asked about having more children- his response is "God willing".

    I know its not for me to decide if he should have more children- its a decision for him and his wife.
    I congratulated him on the upcoming baby- but I wanted to say something to him- but I bit my tongue, and kept my "Another one" to myself.

    But my question is this-
    If your resources are very limited- and his is- Is it a detriment to the family to bring another one in?

    Just putting the question out there

    I believe that a lot of people are very judgemental, including the OP. Yes, Christians tend to be the first pointed out in this grouping. Especially Catholics. Ironically, a hell of a lot of people are judgemental towards Catholics in this area. Not saying this gent is Catholic. But, I think you are an ass for thinking he can't have as many children as he wants. It's his business. Yep he's going to be strapped and work like a psycho for the rest of his life. Guess what? Butt the F out. It's not your business.

    The same people who would say butt the F out of the bedroom if it fits their agenda (Gay rights/abortion rights) are the same f'ing people who are judging people for having too many kids. Butt the F out. Be f'ing consistent.

    Anyway, It's not like they are living below the substinance level. Let it go.
  • vduboise
    vduboise Posts: 1,937
    Medicated-Genius wrote:
    Oh she's workin alright! With six kids under the age of 10, and another on the way, that woman is workin her arse off.

    To the OP, doesn't this guy know there are natural "christian" approved methods of birth control? Abstinence at key times, billings method, rhythm method etc?

    Yes he knows there are other methods- but everything is "God willing"- if God wants him to have more kids, then he will.
  • vduboise
    vduboise Posts: 1,937
    saveuplife wrote:
    I believe that a lot of people are very judgemental, including the OP. Yes, Christians tend to be the first pointed out in this grouping. Especially Catholics. Ironically, a hell of a lot of people are judgemental towards Catholics in this area. Not saying this gent is Catholic. But, I think you are an ass for thinking he can't have as many children as he wants. It's his business. Yep he's going to be strapped and work like a psycho for the rest of his life. Guess what? Butt the F out. It's not your business.

    The same people who would say butt the F out of the bedroom if it fits their agenda (Gay rights/abortion rights) are the same f'ing people who are judging people for having too many kids. Butt the F out. Be f'ing consistent.

    Anyway, It's not like they are living below the substinance level. Let it go.

    I did not say that he could/not have as many children as he wants.
    My question is that is it fair to have a lot of children when you don't have the means for it?
  • RolandTD20Kdrummer
    RolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    If his job can't cover it....

    that's just fucked...
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • g under p
    g under p Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,249
    7 children these days that nuts, I've one so far she's ALL that I can handle. He must have a plan, maybe he plans on hitting the lottery.

    Peace
    *We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti

    *MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
    .....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti

    *The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)


  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    edvedderrocks wrote:
    what kind of life is he giving those children? It's hard enough to divide your attention between 2 kids, let alone 7! The older ones will become babysitters & start working when they are 14. I don't even think it's a good idea if they had money - that's just me, but...

    I have a friend who's 27 and he and his wife have 6 young children. He works his ass off, but his children are very happy, healthy, kind, and smart. His wife stays home with the kids. (I doubt she could afford to go to work.) He finally just got a vasectomy.
  • vduboise
    vduboise Posts: 1,937
    scb wrote:
    I have a friend who's 27 and he and his wife have 6 young children. He works his ass off, but his children are very happy, healthy, kind, and smart. His wife stays home with the kids. (I doubt she could afford to go to work.) He finally just got a vasectomy.

    Working so much to support them, does he get to spend time with the kids? Not just a hello and what not...
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    vduboise wrote:
    Working so much to support them, does he get to spend time with the kids? Not just a hello and what not...

    I think so. He's usually with the kids when I see him. He's really my brother's friend, so I don't know all the details. His kids are freakin' adorable though! And his wife was happy to have so many, so no harm there.
  • vduboise
    vduboise Posts: 1,937
    scb wrote:
    I think so. He's usually with the kids when I see him. He's really my brother's friend, so I don't know all the details. His kids are freakin' adorable though! And his wife was happy to have so many, so no harm there.
    Thanks for that. I don't have a huge family and was trying to wrap my brain around it and seeing a positive is great.
  • stonedponey
    stonedponey Posts: 47
    scb wrote:
    I think so. He's usually with the kids when I see him. He's really my brother's friend, so I don't know all the details. His kids are freakin' adorable though! And his wife was happy to have so many, so no harm there.

    well so long as theyre not ugly, thats the main thing, yeah? :rolleyes:
  • carolinabeerguy
    carolinabeerguy Kernersville, NC Posts: 2,517
    So birth control is a sin but living off of other taxpayers is not? Bringing children into a world knowing he can't afford to feed them in is ridiculous. It's not like your friend hit hard times and needed assistance. He knows he's in a bind and willfully gets her pregnant again. Very irresponsible and very wrong. It's one thing for a rich family to have as many children as possible but an entirely different thing for the poor to be fools and keep popping them out because it's God's will. I'm pretty sure God would want him to be smarter about this.
    I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me.
  • Jeanie
    Jeanie Posts: 9,446
    saveuplife wrote:
    I believe that a lot of people are very judgemental, including the OP. Yes, Christians tend to be the first pointed out in this grouping. Especially Catholics. Ironically, a hell of a lot of people are judgemental towards Catholics in this area. Not saying this gent is Catholic. But, I think you are an ass for thinking he can't have as many children as he wants. It's his business. Yep he's going to be strapped and work like a psycho for the rest of his life. Guess what? Butt the F out. It's not your business.

    The same people who would say butt the F out of the bedroom if it fits their agenda (Gay rights/abortion rights) are the same f'ing people who are judging people for having too many kids. Butt the F out. Be f'ing consistent.

    Anyway, It's not like they are living below the substinance level. Let it go.

    Yeah, I think people are getting up in arms over some perceived price tag that his behaviour is supposedly costing them. And I'd buy it too I guess, that they have a right to rag on people of low incomes for having too many children if for one minute I didn't think that exactly the same people that are ragging are also forking out hard earned cash to support things like war or corporate fuck ups. Some people take a great deal of interest in other people's sex lives. 7 kids wouldn't be my thing but they're low income, think of him doing a public service by supplying the next generation of undereducated cannon fodder for the wars. ;):D
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • haffajappa
    haffajappa British Columbia Posts: 5,955
    some of us had this conversation in that dugger family thread.

    it really does bug me when people can't afford to have lots of kids but do anyways. it bugs me when people can afford it and do, only because of the consumption thing (i hate thinking about how many diapers they're going to be throwing out in the process). but yah, more so even when they can't afford it.

    its a form of child abuse if you ask me, if you can't afford to feed your children properly you should NOT be pumping them out.

    in a sense, it is your business. if he is on welfare, thats your tax money. i'da said something... but that's just me and i can be too outspoken at times.
    live pearl jam is best pearl jam
  • haffajappa
    haffajappa British Columbia Posts: 5,955
    saveuplife wrote:
    I believe that a lot of people are very judgemental, including the OP. Yes, Christians tend to be the first pointed out in this grouping. Especially Catholics. Ironically, a hell of a lot of people are judgemental towards Catholics in this area. Not saying this gent is Catholic. But, I think you are an ass for thinking he can't have as many children as he wants. It's his business. Yep he's going to be strapped and work like a psycho for the rest of his life. Guess what? Butt the F out. It's not your business.

    The same people who would say butt the F out of the bedroom if it fits their agenda (Gay rights/abortion rights) are the same f'ing people who are judging people for having too many kids. Butt the F out. Be f'ing consistent.

    Anyway, It's not like they are living below the substinance level. Let it go.

    what part of living off government assistance did you miss here... and gay rights? that is no comparison. a personal choice for someone to be gay or not impacts themselves. a choice to keep bringing children into a home that you can't afford affects the entire family.
    live pearl jam is best pearl jam
  • reeferchief
    reeferchief Posts: 3,569
    Medicated-Genius wrote:
    Oh she's workin alright! With six kids under the age of 10, and another on the way, that woman is workin her arse off.

    Yes being a parent of 3 I realise its hard work, I meant in paid employment.
    Can not be arsed with life no more.
  • nuffingman
    nuffingman Posts: 3,014
    I feel sorry for the wife. She must spend most of her life with her feet in stirrups.

    I wonder if this guy would have 7 kids if he wasn't assisted from the public purse.

    We get them in this country too and it pisses me off!
  • saveuplife
    saveuplife Posts: 1,173
    doin'the-evolution wrote:
    what part of living off government assistance did you miss here... and gay rights? that is no comparison. a personal choice for someone to be gay or not impacts themselves. a choice to keep bringing children into a home that you can't afford affects the entire family.

    Here's my issue:

    1. He's obviously religious. He has the right to practice in our country.

    2. Yes, he may be receiving help from the govenment. Guess what, lots of people abuse the system and receive government help (crack dealers, father's who have impregnated 20 different single mothers, those respective single mothers, the list can keep going). Do you want to cut off the government assistance to all? Watch what you say.... cause if you do, you're most likely someone who leans to the RIGHT politically. Yep.... dreaded Republican.

    3. I'd rather pay for this gents kids to grow up in a healthy environment than some no good crack dealer. But, guess what... it's not my say. Nor do I want it to be. That's all I'm saying to you all. If it fits your agenda your fine with handouts. If it doesn't, you're not. This scenario doesn't fit your agenda because it appears religion is involved. So, that rules out him deserving a handout. Once again, be F'ing consistent.
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    It just find it almost criminally reckless and stupid in this day and age. We have enough humans thank you.
    Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer

    Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:

    https://www.createspace.com/3437020

    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696

    http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
  • saveuplife
    saveuplife Posts: 1,173
    eyedclaar wrote:
    It just find it almost criminally reckless and stupid in this day and age. We have enough humans thank you.


    Agreed. My point is that a lot of people who are judging this dude for being reckless and stupid are the same people sympathizing with some crack mother and her 15 kids. I'm not claiming him to be "right". I'm saying

    1. it's judgemental to say he's wrong.

    2. I'd much rather pay for him and his kids than some other people who are abusing the system (free riding). Atleast he is still married, appears to have a job and his family is intact.

    ****P.S. It use to piss off my ex gf and her family to no end when people would make negative comments under their breath about her family of 10. As if they were better than her parents because they would never make that decision. After seeing the way people behaved towards them first hand, I've decided that it is wrong to gang up on large families and be "publically judgemental" as the OP was "considering". These people were good people. Would I choose to go that route? F No. But, am I going to sit around and bitch that they are awful people? F No.

Categories