A question about children

vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
edited August 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
So I have a friend who just announced that he is having another child. This will be his seventh one. He just had a baby in January. He is 26 and all his children are under the age of 10. He has a low paying job, his wife does not work, and they are on public assistance.
When asked about having more children- his response is "God willing".

I know its not for me to decide if he should have more children- its a decision for him and his wife.
I congratulated him on the upcoming baby- but I wanted to say something to him- but I bit my tongue, and kept my "Another one" to myself.

But my question is this-
If your resources are very limited- and his is- Is it a detriment to the family to bring another one in?

Just putting the question out there
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    your friend is very irresponsible....
  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    Yes he is.

    He is very Christian and does not believe in contraception. I feel for his wife.
  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    cutback wrote:
    your friend is very irresponsible....
    and fertile!!!
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    vduboise wrote:
    Yes he is.

    He is very Christian and does not believe in contraception. I feel for his wife.

    if he that devout a christian, why are taxpayers paying for these kids that he thinks god provided him? (rhetorical ??)
  • Stone Is GodStone Is God Posts: 1,331
    vduboise wrote:
    But my question is this-
    If your resources are very limited- and his is- Is it a detriment to the family to bring another one in?

    Just putting the question out there

    It's a detriment to my fucking paycheck. People that have 50 kids and live on PA drive me nuts.
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me.
  • reeferchiefreeferchief Posts: 3,569
    Until you mentioned his wife I was begining to wonder how I hadn't heard about him before, a man giving birth to not one but 7 kids by the age of 26.:)

    The fact his wife does'nt work didn't come as a surprise neither, are all 7 to her?
    Can not be arsed with life no more.
  • KosmicJelliKosmicJelli Posts: 1,855
    vduboise wrote:
    So I have a friend who just announced that he is having another child. This will be his seventh one. He just had a baby in January. He is 26 and all his children are under the age of 10. He has a low paying job, his wife does not work, and they are on public assistance.
    When asked about having more children- his response is "God willing".

    I know its not for me to decide if he should have more children- its a decision for him and his wife.
    I congratulated him on the upcoming baby- but I wanted to say something to him- but I bit my tongue, and kept my "Another one" to myself.

    But my question is this-
    If your resources are very limited- and his is- Is it a detriment to the family to bring another one in?

    Just putting the question out there

    I personally wouldn't... however it is said... "Go forth and multiply!"... omg I hope these people are good to their children!!!!
  • kenny olavkenny olav Posts: 3,319
    your friend might be a nice guy and all, but that's insane. if this were 1865, and he was getting a grant from the Homestead Act, it'd be different, but i'm assuming that's not the case...
  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    ok-

    say... if you was his wife- and felt that you had enough- would you go on contraception without telling him?

    He is a very strong believer in no birth control.
  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    Until you mentioned his wife I was begining to wonder how I hadn't heard about him before, a man giving birth to not one but 7 kids by the age of 26.:)

    The fact his wife does'nt work didn't come as a surprise neither, are all 7 to her?

    All 7 are her's. He is a very nice guy- a bit of a Bible beater.
  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    I personally wouldn't... however it is said... "Go forth and multiply!"... omg I hope these people are good to their children!!!!
    They are good to their children, but how good can you be with 8 people in a small apartment?

    For those with big families (4 or more children), how do you make it work? Any words of advice for him?
  • kenny olavkenny olav Posts: 3,319
    vduboise wrote:
    ok-

    say... if you was his wife- and felt that you had enough- would you go on contraception without telling him?

    He is a very strong believer in no birth control.

    that's a hard thing to keep a secret. if that how she feels, she should be honest. but if they choose to live by the bible on such strict terms, they're gonna have to deal with the consequence of their "blessings".
  • _Crazy_Mary__Crazy_Mary_ Posts: 1,299
    I'm a firm believer in personal responsibility. People should not have children if they cannot afford them. If you can't pay the $5k hospital bill, don't get pregnant!
    That said, there is nothing you can say or do for these people. The wifey cannot go on birth control in secret, she needs to talk to hubby about it. Maybe they could not have sex for the 3 days a month when she is at risk...
    I really screwed that up. I really Schruted it.
  • TrailerTrailer Posts: 1,431
    I'm a firm believer in personal responsibility. People should not have children if they cannot afford them.

    I agree
    Whoa, chill bro... you know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
  • Until you mentioned his wife I was begining to wonder how I hadn't heard about him before, a man giving birth to not one but 7 kids by the age of 26.:)

    The fact his wife does'nt work didn't come as a surprise neither, are all 7 to her?


    Oh she's workin alright! With six kids under the age of 10, and another on the way, that woman is workin her arse off.

    To the OP, doesn't this guy know there are natural "christian" approved methods of birth control? Abstinence at key times, billings method, rhythm method etc?
  • See the movie Idiocracy.
  • tell him to cut his balls off
    NO TIME TO BE VOID OR SAVE UP ON LIFE, YOU GOT TO SPEND IT ALL!!!!!!!
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    vduboise wrote:
    ok-

    say... if you was his wife- and felt that you had enough- would you go on contraception without telling him?

    He is a very strong believer in no birth control.

    Wait - so his wife doesn't want to have more kids but feels she can't use birth control because of him?

    I think I would go on birth control without telling him. That said, no one knows this woman's situation well enough to judge whether she feels that this is a possible option for her. It would be tricky...

    If she really felt strongly about not having another kid, it's also possible for her to have an abortion without telling him. (No, I'm not saying she should have an abortion or trying to start an abortion debate. I'm just saying that may be one option she has.)
  • blondieblue227blondieblue227 Va, USA Posts: 4,509
    They must be catholic

    I have a friend that’s catholic and I really resent her when she judges me for using birth control and for not wanting kids. I’m disabled. Do you realize how hard life would be for me if I got pregnant? I just want to slap her in the face.
    *~Pearl Jam will be blasted from speakers until morale improves~*

  • edvedderrocksedvedderrocks Posts: 1,001
    what kind of life is he giving those children? It's hard enough to divide your attention between 2 kids, let alone 7! The older ones will become babysitters & start working when they are 14. I don't even think it's a good idea if they had money - that's just me, but...

    I know someone who is very religious & gives half of his paycheck to church. He has a sixteen year old daughter (& a 4 year old) and has NO money saved for her for college. He says if she was meant to go to college, God will find hher a way to get there. Weird.
    "I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me. Guaranteed."

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  • Who PrincessWho Princess out here in the fields Posts: 7,305
    They must be catholic

    I have a friend that’s catholic and I really resent her when she judges me for using birth control and for not wanting kids. I’m disabled. Do you realize how hard life would be for me if I got pregnant? I just want to slap her in the face.
    Not necessarily. There are some other fundamentalist Christians, also Mormons, who believe you should have as many children as God sends. And lots of Catholics use birth control.

    These people must have started really young if he's 26 and has 7 kids. You'd think it would have been a reality check by now. :rolleyes:
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • saveuplifesaveuplife Posts: 1,173
    vduboise wrote:
    So I have a friend who just announced that he is having another child. This will be his seventh one. He just had a baby in January. He is 26 and all his children are under the age of 10. He has a low paying job, his wife does not work, and they are on public assistance.
    When asked about having more children- his response is "God willing".

    I know its not for me to decide if he should have more children- its a decision for him and his wife.
    I congratulated him on the upcoming baby- but I wanted to say something to him- but I bit my tongue, and kept my "Another one" to myself.

    But my question is this-
    If your resources are very limited- and his is- Is it a detriment to the family to bring another one in?

    Just putting the question out there

    I believe that a lot of people are very judgemental, including the OP. Yes, Christians tend to be the first pointed out in this grouping. Especially Catholics. Ironically, a hell of a lot of people are judgemental towards Catholics in this area. Not saying this gent is Catholic. But, I think you are an ass for thinking he can't have as many children as he wants. It's his business. Yep he's going to be strapped and work like a psycho for the rest of his life. Guess what? Butt the F out. It's not your business.

    The same people who would say butt the F out of the bedroom if it fits their agenda (Gay rights/abortion rights) are the same f'ing people who are judging people for having too many kids. Butt the F out. Be f'ing consistent.

    Anyway, It's not like they are living below the substinance level. Let it go.
  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    Oh she's workin alright! With six kids under the age of 10, and another on the way, that woman is workin her arse off.

    To the OP, doesn't this guy know there are natural "christian" approved methods of birth control? Abstinence at key times, billings method, rhythm method etc?

    Yes he knows there are other methods- but everything is "God willing"- if God wants him to have more kids, then he will.
  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    saveuplife wrote:
    I believe that a lot of people are very judgemental, including the OP. Yes, Christians tend to be the first pointed out in this grouping. Especially Catholics. Ironically, a hell of a lot of people are judgemental towards Catholics in this area. Not saying this gent is Catholic. But, I think you are an ass for thinking he can't have as many children as he wants. It's his business. Yep he's going to be strapped and work like a psycho for the rest of his life. Guess what? Butt the F out. It's not your business.

    The same people who would say butt the F out of the bedroom if it fits their agenda (Gay rights/abortion rights) are the same f'ing people who are judging people for having too many kids. Butt the F out. Be f'ing consistent.

    Anyway, It's not like they are living below the substinance level. Let it go.

    I did not say that he could/not have as many children as he wants.
    My question is that is it fair to have a lot of children when you don't have the means for it?
  • If his job can't cover it....

    that's just fucked...
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

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  • g under pg under p Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,200
    7 children these days that nuts, I've one so far she's ALL that I can handle. He must have a plan, maybe he plans on hitting the lottery.

    Peace
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  • __ Posts: 6,651
    what kind of life is he giving those children? It's hard enough to divide your attention between 2 kids, let alone 7! The older ones will become babysitters & start working when they are 14. I don't even think it's a good idea if they had money - that's just me, but...

    I have a friend who's 27 and he and his wife have 6 young children. He works his ass off, but his children are very happy, healthy, kind, and smart. His wife stays home with the kids. (I doubt she could afford to go to work.) He finally just got a vasectomy.
  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    scb wrote:
    I have a friend who's 27 and he and his wife have 6 young children. He works his ass off, but his children are very happy, healthy, kind, and smart. His wife stays home with the kids. (I doubt she could afford to go to work.) He finally just got a vasectomy.

    Working so much to support them, does he get to spend time with the kids? Not just a hello and what not...
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    vduboise wrote:
    Working so much to support them, does he get to spend time with the kids? Not just a hello and what not...

    I think so. He's usually with the kids when I see him. He's really my brother's friend, so I don't know all the details. His kids are freakin' adorable though! And his wife was happy to have so many, so no harm there.
  • vduboisevduboise Posts: 1,937
    scb wrote:
    I think so. He's usually with the kids when I see him. He's really my brother's friend, so I don't know all the details. His kids are freakin' adorable though! And his wife was happy to have so many, so no harm there.
    Thanks for that. I don't have a huge family and was trying to wrap my brain around it and seeing a positive is great.
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