The Top 10 Game

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  • ZiggyStar
    ZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    Top 10 ways to fire an incompetent receptionist who is screwing things up for the office

    1. Say to her, "Take one step forward if you work here. WHOA not so fast there, hunny!"
    2. There is no "I" in team. There is no "U" either. Security will be around shortly to escort you out.
    3. Buy them a one way plane ticket to Antarctica
    4. Tell her she has one hour to clean out her desk or Suns Rival will come dump a bucket of poop on her head. Little does she know that even if she does it in less than an hour, Suns will STILL dump the poop on her
    5. Hey you (while pointing) -- time to FUCK OFF and don't bother coming back!
    6. You're FIRED
    7. Send out a nasty email to all the partners from her email addy saying "Offering free rim jobs in the dunnies for a promotion"
    8. Sneak onto her computer while she's at lunch, go to porn sites and download the filthiest pics and videos you can find then have a video playing while there are important visitors in the reception area
    9. Make your kids fire them, no one can be mad at those cute little bastards
    10. If you're the boss and she's hot, fuck her on your office desk and then say that relations of this kind are strictly forbidden in the workplace so she'll have to leave. If she's ugly, see No 5.
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • ZiggyStar
    ZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • illegal pants
    illegal pants Posts: 13,471
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
    wah
  • ZiggyStar
    ZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    illegal pants wrote:
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course

    Ewwww...you'd actually TOUCH that thing?!?!!? ;):D







    And I'll take as much fucking time as I want to....BITCH!
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • ZiggyStar
    ZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
    3. A frozen turkey
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • Black Diamond
    Black Diamond Posts: 25,109
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
    3. A frozen turkey
    4. Your wife's vibrator
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • Cocaine_Nosejob
    Cocaine_Nosejob Posts: 1,744
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
    3. A frozen turkey
    4. Your wife's vibrator
    5. Your wife
    "The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"

    "The world fascinates me."

    "Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"

  • Black Diamond
    Black Diamond Posts: 25,109
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
    3. A frozen turkey
    4. Your wife's vibrator
    5. Your wife
    6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • Cocaine_Nosejob
    Cocaine_Nosejob Posts: 1,744
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
    3. A frozen turkey
    4. Your wife's vibrator
    5. Your wife
    6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
    7. Chuck Norris
    "The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"

    "The world fascinates me."

    "Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"

  • Black Diamond
    Black Diamond Posts: 25,109
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
    3. A frozen turkey
    4. Your wife's vibrator
    5. Your wife
    6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
    7. Chuck Norris
    8. The burglars own leg after Chuck Norris gets through with them
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • E.K
    E.K New South Wales, Australia Posts: 7,726
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
    3. A frozen turkey
    4. Your wife's vibrator
    5. Your wife
    6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
    7. Chuck Norris
    8. The burglars own leg after Chuck Norris gets through with them
    9. The dog's food bowl
    Sydney, Australia - March 12, 1998; Sydney, Australia - February 14, 2003; Sydney, Australia - November 8, 2006; Sydney, Australia - November 25, 2006;  Brisbane, Australia - November, 2009; Gold Coast, Australia - January, 2014, Gold Coast, Australia - November 2024

  • Spunkie
    Spunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 7,095
    edited October 2023
    .
    Post edited by Spunkie on
    I was swimming in the Great Barrier Reef 
    Animals were hiding behind the Coral 
    Except for little Turtle
    I could swear he's trying to talk to me 
    Gurgle Gurgle
  • pearljamjen
    pearljamjen Posts: 13,578
    tish wrote:
    Top ten weird objects you can use to bash a burglar in the middle of the night

    1. Grandma's fake leg
    2. Kylie's 'Eddie' - turned on of course
    3. A frozen turkey
    4. Your wife's vibrator
    5. Your wife
    6. Your wife while she is using her vibrator
    7. Chuck Norris
    8. The burglars own leg after Chuck Norris gets through with them
    9. The dog's food bowl
    10. A fist full of big gold rings that say "Jesus Saves"

    Tish you are supposed to start a new topic :)
  • Spunkie
    Spunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 7,095
    Top 10 Ways You Put Love into Action

    1. beater oil
    I was swimming in the Great Barrier Reef 
    Animals were hiding behind the Coral 
    Except for little Turtle
    I could swear he's trying to talk to me 
    Gurgle Gurgle
  • E.K
    E.K New South Wales, Australia Posts: 7,726
    Top 10 Ways You Put Love into Action

    1. beater oil
    2. Chocolate body paint
    Sydney, Australia - March 12, 1998; Sydney, Australia - February 14, 2003; Sydney, Australia - November 8, 2006; Sydney, Australia - November 25, 2006;  Brisbane, Australia - November, 2009; Gold Coast, Australia - January, 2014, Gold Coast, Australia - November 2024

  • pearljamjen
    pearljamjen Posts: 13,578
    Top 10 Ways You Put Love into Action

    1. beater oil
    2. Chocolate body paint
    3. Golden showers
  • DonJon
    DonJon Posts: 5,089
    Top 10 Ways You Put Love into Action

    1. beater oil
    2. Chocolate body paint
    3. Golden showers
    4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me.
  • Cocaine_Nosejob
    Cocaine_Nosejob Posts: 1,744
    Top 10 Ways You Put Love into Action

    1. beater oil
    2. Chocolate body paint
    3. Golden showers
    4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
    5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
    "The customer...is always...an ASSHOLE"

    "The world fascinates me."

    "Doesn't mean that much to me, to mean that much to you"

  • Black Diamond
    Black Diamond Posts: 25,109
    Top 10 Ways You Put Love into Action

    1. beater oil
    2. Chocolate body paint
    3. Golden showers
    4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
    5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
    6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • vital5
    vital5 Posts: 5,486
    Top 10 Ways You Put Love into Action

    1. beater oil
    2. Chocolate body paint
    3. Golden showers
    4. I put on my pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine
    5. I put on DonJon's pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs then do a pole dance routine.
    6. I watch CNJ and DonJon do pole dances in their pink g-string, bunny ears and thongs (and tip handsomely)
    7. Pop on some Craig David... the Bo' Selecta Craig David....

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