I know this is a double standard but.....

GTFLYGIRL wrote:

Two questions...one honest and second sarcastic.

1. Honestly...if you would care to respond? Approximately how old are you?

2. Who the hell have you been hanging out with???

And...for the record... ha... cyberspace.

For many, many, many of us... this board is ANYTHING but anonymous!!!

ANYTHING BUT!!!!

Anyone want to vouch that i am the real me??


Can you see the real me?????

sometimes, things I say are not the REAL me, they are sarcastic.

catch22 wrote:

oh, no doubt. guys are 10 times as bad. i've seen twice as many parties ruined because some drunk dude starts a fight because his girl was flirting with some other guy. but at least in this thread, all the guys are saying girls shouldn't do this anyway the girls are all in here acting like they're totally cool with their guy leering at other women and they want to hear all about it and egg him on and i think that is pure bullshit.

Well for me it's the difference between reality and fantasy. I don't want him out there trying to sleep with girls behind my back. That's just gonna put a wedge of mistrust in our relationship. And at this point in my life and in my relationship I'm not down with an open relationship either. But as to the fantasy of it - yeah I'm all for hearing about that...and sharing my own. I think those are 2 very different things....and being open with fantasies can build trust - cause you're not being all guilty and sneaky about it. I don't want him to lie about being attracted to someone else - like you said before - unless you don't have a pulse, chances are you've felt attraction for someone besides your partner.

GTFLYGIRL wrote:

I've just let it all hang out in this ridiculous thread!!



But tell me..... You don't want it all?

I especially want candy and sex at the same time.

iluvcats wrote:

I especially want candy and sex at the same time.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


Hangin' round downtown by myself
And I had so much time
To sit and think about myself
And then there she was
Like double cherry pie
Yeah there she was
Like disco superfly
I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream

Hangin' round downtown by myself
And I had too much caffeine
And I was thinkin' 'bout myself
And then there she was
In platform double suede
Yeah there she was
Like disco lemonade
I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream
Mama this surely is a dream
I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream
Mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this must be my dream





anyhoo....from MY reading if gtfgirl's posts, i seem to recall her stating to share your ideas, and experiences that you had outside her presence..and then gave the girl on the subway scenario. so she did not suggest that a woman finds a man ignoring her and oogling another woman in her presnece sexy...i don't think many would, and most would find it disrespectful....altho like ANYthing, i am sure there are many who DO like it. humiliation IS quite a popular, even if underground...sexual fantasy. point is, it's sharing thoughts.....not actions. and yes, again, any woman confident in herself, her sexual identity, her relationship...doesn't feel 'threatened' by such. on the contrary...it's another degree of intimacy..sharing such thoughts. if one wants to think BS, so be it...doesn't change the fact that it IS true, for many.



btw - i keep reading 'poor acoustic'...being read the riot act for this thread. um...no? i've read SOME posts, sure...but the bulk actually discuss the TOPIC...and NOT HIM! and hello....you start a thread and even admit the 'double-standard' of it's premise...wtf would you expect anyway? i am sure, either way...he's enjoying the laughs...and even if he isn't, i couldn't care less. it ain't 'all about him'....or you, gentlemen...about time you got over it.

decides2dream wrote:

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


Hangin' round downtown by myself
And I had so much time
To sit and think about myself
And then there she was
Like double cherry pie
Yeah there she was
Like disco superfly
I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream

Hangin' round downtown by myself
And I had too much caffeine
And I was thinkin' 'bout myself
And then there she was
In platform double suede
Yeah there she was
Like disco lemonade
I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream
Mama this surely is a dream
I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream
Mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this must be my dream


end of quote (I screwed up my quoting!)

that's a good song. I lied though. I don't eat candy and have sex!

but I do want it all, not necessarily together!

decides2dream wrote:

anyhoo....from MY reading if gtfgirl's posts, i seem to recall her stating to share your ideas, and experiences that you had outside her presence..and then gave the girl on the subway scenario. so she did not suggest that a woman finds a man ignoring her and oogling another woman in her presnece sexy...i don't think many would, and most would find it disrespectful....altho like ANYthing, i am sure there are many who DO like it. humiliation IS quite a popular, even if underground...sexual fantasy. point is, it's sharing thoughts.....not actions. and yes, again, any woman confident in herself, her sexual identity, her relationship...doesn't feel 'threatened' by such. on the contrary...it's another degree of intimacy..sharing such thoughts. if one wants to think BS, so be it...doesn't change the fact that it IS true, for many.

There's a big difference with knowing your partner has fantasies about other people and talking about it occasionally and asking your partner to tell you about it whenever he/she has them. Some days the only thing on my mind is sex; the streets are filled with beautiful girls, I'm surrounded by models on the train, auditoria are crowded with the most beautiful girls... If my girl asked me to tell me all the fantasies and thoughts about other girls I had that day... I'd be talking all night about other girls.

Let's be realistic here, only a very small percentage of people would like that.

Perhaps some of the ladies here are underestimating how many fantasies we really have

Saturnal wrote:

lol

Whiz has no time for your bullshit, gents.

::calls in WHEB and requests Maneater::

uhm...correction....it was WAAF and I was merely the instigator for that call, I stood by innocently and laughed hysterically hearing Becca make that call!!!

Collin wrote:

Let's be realistic here, only a very small percentage of people would like that.

Perhaps some of the ladies here are underestimating how many fantasies we really have

Yeah. What you said. I don't think anyone wants to hear 4 hours daily about 12 hours thinking of fucking 17 different chicks. Just saying there is something to be said for the understanding that those desires exist and using them to help add fuel to the fires.

Collin wrote:

There's a big difference with knowing your partner has fantasies about other people and talking about it occasionally and asking your partner to tell you about it whenever he/she has them. Some days the only thing on my mind is sex; the streets are filled with beautiful girls, I'm surrounded by models on the train, auditoria are crowded with the most beautiful girls... If my girl asked me to tell me all the fantasies and thoughts about other girls I had that day... I'd be talking all night about other girls.

Let's be realistic here, only a very small percentage of people would like that.

Perhaps some of the ladies here are underestimating how many fantasies we really have

and did i specify sharing EVERY one? nope. we all have some things to yourselves and for ourselves. just b/c your partner may ask you to share...doesn't suggest you have to share EVERYthing.


and perhaps some of you gentlemen are underestimating just how many women have such open minds...and how many fantasties WE may have.

again..indeed...it does go both ways.
i think men have continued to carry on this 'delicate flower' sensibility in regards to women for far too long. try up out, open up...what have you got to lose? you live and you learn. the longer you are with someone, trust someone, grow confident in yourself and your relationship...the more at ease you feel with truly sharing yourself.


anyhoo...really, it's simple. if your sexlife is unsatisifying......YOU change it! read, watch .....educate yourself. communicate. be open about your desires, a little at a time if need be. go slowly...work on progress and pleasing your partner....and they will want to do more to please you, etc.

obviously...enter into a relationship with someone compatible. if sexual freedom is indeed important to you, well then, go with a like-minded indivudal. and while it's all well and good to joke and fantasize about a 'double-standard' and having your cake and eating it too...realistically, don't enter a relationship with someone who expects fidelity and just wish it away to be different. it's all choice.

and sorry there i go again...being serious......:p shame on me. sex IS serious business. serious FUN.

Collin wrote:

There's a big difference with knowing your partner has fantasies about other people and talking about it occasionally and asking your partner to tell you about it whenever he/she has them. Some days the only thing on my mind is sex; the streets are filled with beautiful girls, I'm surrounded by models on the train, auditoria are crowded with the most beautiful girls... If my girl asked me to tell me all the fantasies and thoughts about other girls I had that day... I'd be talking all night about other girls.

Let's be realistic here, only a very small percentage of people would like that.

Perhaps some of the ladies here are underestimating how many fantasies we really have

which I agree...we very well may be underestimating. But I think you gentlemen are underestimating how many fantasies women really have. We do have them, plent of them. Sadly, society has many of us so uptight that we think if we let someone in on the dirty little thoughts we have, we'd be outcast as a whore.

Some fantasies are better left to yourself. Your own nirvana, your own personal spank bank. Some are much better shared with your S.O.

Outwardly flirting with or oggling/drooling over the opposite sex in front of your SO and leaving your SO to stew over it is just plain rude in my book. I've dated, been head-over-heels for someone, done my share of one night stands, been married. I'm confident enough in myself to know that men look and so do women. If I'm secure in a relationship, no amount of him admiring and looking or telling me he got a semi-chub seeing a hot woman that day is going to make me jealous. Jealousy is derived from insecurity. If he wants to risk losing what he has with me, I ask that he do me the courtesy of having the sack to leave before he does it.

I may also joke about not wanting flowers/candy. It's not to say I never want anything romantic. Guys are ready to go at a moment's notice...well, sometimes women are too.