For those of you who are married/in love/in long term relationships.....

Zoso · April 2008

I knew she was the one just by how we interacted this time last year not even have physically met before that. It just felt like we had been together forever but this was the first day we had met before. Perfect.

harmless_little_f*** · April 2008

Zoso wrote:

I knew she was the one just by how we interacted this time last year not even have physically met before that. It just felt like we had been together forever but this was the first day we had met before. Perfect.

I know *exactly* what that feels like.. couldn't have said it better myself.

urbanhippie · April 2008

Zoso wrote:

I knew she was the one just by how we interacted this time last year not even have physically met before that. It just felt like we had been together forever but this was the first day we had met before. Perfect.

This sounds spookily familiar.. To be instantly comfortable in each others presence... amazing.

brain of c · April 2008

she had my son inside her.

comebackwoman · April 2008

Zoso wrote:

I knew she was the one just by how we interacted this time last year not even have physically met before that. It just felt like we had been together forever but this was the first day we had met before. Perfect.

Yeah...I think that's what cemented it for me too...I was so nervous getting off the plane and couldn't even look at him...and then he held my hand and I knew this is him. I know I'm in love when I feel at peace...when I've had a day where I feel bruised and battered by the world and spending time with him feels like being wrapped in a soft warm blanket...that's how I know I'm with the right person.

sponger · April 2008

Take a few weeks vacation and just completely avoid talking to that person during that time. There should be a sensation in your chest like a double-edged blade is being thrusted into your heart. That's when you know you've got something worth keeping. Hopefully, it won't be too late by that point.

GoingToLukins · April 2008

I met mine after a Pearl Jam concert, and here we are 3 years later...

meme · April 2008

urbanhippie wrote:

I don't 'know' he's the one. How can anyone 'know' what the future holds? However, I think it, I feel it and I want it to be so.

That's really the key. You want it to be. It's a commitment renewed daily, and fought for all anew whenever you are not sure. At least it is for me

decides2dream · April 2008

meme wrote:

That's really the key. You want it to be. It's a commitment renewed daily, and fought for all anew whenever you are not sure. At least it is for me

i love positive meme posts.

and, i agree...

cheeseandrice · April 2008

You have to know with your heart and your head!

When I met my husband, I was in a dating relationship with another guy. What I thought was love, was not. Then I met this guy who was respectful, trustworthy and a real keeper- good upbringing and no baggage- at least that what my head said.

It took about 6 months for me to fall in love with him (with my heart). It was a concious decision. Infatuation and following my heart never got me anywhere.

We've been together for 15 years now and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't live without him and I would never want to. He's the best husband and father anyone could ever want and I love him with all my heart and soul.

decides2dream · April 2008

cheeseandrice wrote:

You have to know with your heart and your head!

When I met my husband, I was in a dating relationship with another guy. What I thought was love, was not. Then I met this guy who was respectful, trustworthy and a real keeper- good upbringing and no baggage- at least that what my head said.

It took about 6 months for me to fall in love with him (with my heart). It was a concious decision. Infatuation and following my heart never got me anywhere.

We've been together for 15 years now and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't live without him and I would never want to. He's the best husband and father anyone could ever want and I love him with all my heart and soul.

GREAT POST!

i think this really sums up a lot of posts/thoughts. tis true, it's NOT just about *love*.......as many have said, have been *in love* many times. it's about love AND commitment, people who mesh together, work well together, same values/ideals/desires, etc. i fell in love with my husband quickly, but i also tend to fall in love easily. however, for a long-term commitment, there's just soooooooo much MORE!

i think keeping a relationship, and love going, IS always a conscious decision. you may not always be on the same page, but SOMEone in the relationship has to be making an effort at any given time, and MOST of the time, both should for it to truly be good for both.

hail, hail the lucky ones
i refer to those in love!

writersu · April 2008

see, I did that but it was not the same.......

love is ..........I don't know........

you get to the point where you start to wonder why there is no fire/flame fun and excitement and when the shit rolls in........

and I think it always does, there is no passion to get through it.....

but that is me, and in the future there will be no love that doesn't excite me everywhere, mentally, physically, emotionally, etc.

it gets a bit old to have someone look at you like they're your father and burst your bubble and pop your balloon.

P.S. I am currently looking for a man like myself with adhd.........hey we are MORE FUN!!!!!!!

KosmicJelli · April 2008

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

As much as I can *know*... it's because when I think of my future, I can't imagine one without her in it.

OMG... so true... I was looking at my boyfriend while I laid on his bed. As he stood there in the kitchen... a flash came over me while I stared... I could see him in about 40 years in front of me....

My thought... " I really like that!"

sponger · April 2008

I think it's a lot easier for women to make the conclusion that they are in love because they are naturally a lot more in touch with their emotions than are men.

We men, since the time we were boys, and who are arguably still boys from an emotional standpoint even when we've reached manhood, go through life putting love at the bottom of our list of priorities. On top of that, most of us men would like to believe we are even above it.

Because of this, when we do in fact experience the sensation of being in love, we are the least likely to be able to recognize it...until it is too late.

Also worth mentioning here is the fact that women when having sexual intercourse release a chemical that causes them to experience feelings of trust and emotional bonding. Men do not secrete this chemical...ever.

So, it's just more of a natural thing for women to not only experience love, but to also recognize it.

decides2dream · April 2008

sponger wrote:

I think it's a lot easier for women to make the conclusion that they are in love because they are naturally a lot more in touch with their emotions than are men.

We men, since the time we were boys, and who are arguably still boys from an emotional standpoint even when we've reached manhood, go through life putting love at the bottom of our list of priorities. On top of that, most of us men would like to believe we are even above it.

Because of this, when we do in fact experience the sensation of being in love, we are the least likely to be able to recognize it...until it is too late.

Also worth mentioning here is the fact that women when having sexual intercourse release a chemical that causes them to experience feelings of trust and emotional bonding. Men do not secrete this chemical...ever.

So, it's just more of a natural thing for women to not only experience love, but to also recognize it.

maybe, maybe not. lots of assumptions there. my husband declared his love for me early on...and i think he *knew* way before me, much more *commited* than me, etc. nowdays, sure, we are both more attuned to what our relationship is about and how we feel about each other, etc...but bottomline...i just don't *buy* most generalizations.

you *know* as best you can know...when you do...regardless of gender.

Allie · April 2008

I'm not with this person
but when I met the person that to this point I consider the love of my life

well that's the thing

I don't remember when I met him. And he doesn't remember when he met me
but I was in love with him from whenever that time that I met him was, and my life hasn't been the same since.

my ex fiance (a different guy) told me he loved me the week after he met me.

so that's 2 right? Isn't that like the Bronx Tale, is that the movie where they said you have to have 3 great loves? So I need one more

hee hee. That'll be the guy I have children with.

sponger · April 2008

decides2dream wrote:

maybe, maybe not. lots of assumptions there. my husband declared his love for me early on...and i think he *knew* way before me, much more *commited* than me, etc. nowdays, sure, we are both more attuned to what our relationship is about and how we feel about each other, etc...but bottomline...i just don't *buy* most generalizations. you *know* as best you can know...when you do...regardless of gender.

Not all us men are as emotionally and possibly cognitively advanced as your husband.

But from a statistical standpoint, what I'm saying has merit. When men think, emotions don't carry as much priority as they do with women. Left hemisphere vs. right hemisphere kind of stuff.

Of course there are exceptions. But, on average, women are more in tune with how they are feeling.

decides2dream · April 2008

sponger wrote:

Not all us men are as emotionally and possibly cognitively advanced as your husband.

i agree with that...thus why he IS my husband.

generally tho...i dislike generalizations.

btw - i did not in any way discredit your post's *merit*...just merely pointing out it doesnt necessarily hold true. in MY life, almost all the men i have been involved with, it does NOT hold true....so i think....there's lots of 'emotionally attuned' men out there....etc.....defferent kinds of people, etc, regardless of gender.

harmless_little_f*** · April 2008

sponger wrote:

I think it's a lot easier for women to make the conclusion that they are in love because they are naturally a lot more in touch with their emotions than are men.

We men, since the time we were boys, and who are arguably still boys from an emotional standpoint even when we've reached manhood, go through life putting love at the bottom of our list of priorities. On top of that, most of us men would like to believe we are even above it.

Because of this, when we do in fact experience the sensation of being in love, we are the least likely to be able to recognize it...until it is too late.

Also worth mentioning here is the fact that women when having sexual intercourse release a chemical that causes them to experience feelings of trust and emotional bonding. Men do not secrete this chemical...ever.

So, it's just more of a natural thing for women to not only experience love, but to also recognize it.

One heck of a load of assumptions there mate. Not all men are emotional bricks.. I'm certainly not.

And while we're at it, I secrete bonding chemicals all the time. So much so that presently, I am welded to a coffee table.

Schoki · April 2008

Guess one never knows. I just try enjoy every day with my beloved one and hope it never ends. There is just no guarantee.

For those of you who are married/in love/in long term relationships.....

Comments

Categories