When I met my husband, I was in a dating relationship with another guy. What I thought was love, was not. Then I met this guy who was respectful, trustworthy and a real keeper- good upbringing and no baggage- at least that what my head said.
It took about 6 months for me to fall in love with him (with my heart). It was a concious decision. Infatuation and following my heart never got me anywhere.
We've been together for 15 years now and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't live without him and I would never want to. He's the best husband and father anyone could ever want and I love him with all my heart and soul.
GREAT POST!
i think this really sums up a lot of posts/thoughts. tis true, it's NOT just about *love*.......as many have said, have been *in love* many times. it's about love AND commitment, people who mesh together, work well together, same values/ideals/desires, etc. i fell in love with my husband quickly, but i also tend to fall in love easily. however, for a long-term commitment, there's just soooooooo much MORE!
i think keeping a relationship, and love going, IS always a conscious decision. you may not always be on the same page, but SOMEone in the relationship has to be making an effort at any given time, and MOST of the time, both should for it to truly be good for both.
hail, hail the lucky ones
i refer to those in love!
As much as I can *know*... it's because when I think of my future, I can't imagine one without her in it.
OMG... so true... I was looking at my boyfriend while I laid on his bed. As he stood there in the kitchen... a flash came over me while I stared... I could see him in about 40 years in front of me....
I think it's a lot easier for women to make the conclusion that they are in love because they are naturally a lot more in touch with their emotions than are men.
We men, since the time we were boys, and who are arguably still boys from an emotional standpoint even when we've reached manhood, go through life putting love at the bottom of our list of priorities. On top of that, most of us men would like to believe we are even above it.
Because of this, when we do in fact experience the sensation of being in love, we are the least likely to be able to recognize it...until it is too late.
Also worth mentioning here is the fact that women when having sexual intercourse release a chemical that causes them to experience feelings of trust and emotional bonding. Men do not secrete this chemical...ever.
So, it's just more of a natural thing for women to not only experience love, but to also recognize it.
I think it's a lot easier for women to make the conclusion that they are in love because they are naturally a lot more in touch with their emotions than are men.
We men, since the time we were boys, and who are arguably still boys from an emotional standpoint even when we've reached manhood, go through life putting love at the bottom of our list of priorities. On top of that, most of us men would like to believe we are even above it.
Because of this, when we do in fact experience the sensation of being in love, we are the least likely to be able to recognize it...until it is too late.
Also worth mentioning here is the fact that women when having sexual intercourse release a chemical that causes them to experience feelings of trust and emotional bonding. Men do not secrete this chemical...ever.
So, it's just more of a natural thing for women to not only experience love, but to also recognize it.
maybe, maybe not. lots of assumptions there. my husband declared his love for me early on...and i think he *knew* way before me, much more *commited* than me, etc. nowdays, sure, we are both more attuned to what our relationship is about and how we feel about each other, etc...but bottomline...i just don't *buy* most generalizations. you *know* as best you can know...when you do...regardless of gender.
I'm not with this person
but when I met the person that to this point I consider the love of my life
well that's the thing
I don't remember when I met him. And he doesn't remember when he met me
but I was in love with him from whenever that time that I met him was, and my life hasn't been the same since.
my ex fiance (a different guy) told me he loved me the week after he met me.
so that's 2 right? Isn't that like the Bronx Tale, is that the movie where they said you have to have 3 great loves? So I need one more hee hee. That'll be the guy I have children with.
"...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
maybe, maybe not. lots of assumptions there. my husband declared his love for me early on...and i think he *knew* way before me, much more *commited* than me, etc. nowdays, sure, we are both more attuned to what our relationship is about and how we feel about each other, etc...but bottomline...i just don't *buy* most generalizations. you *know* as best you can know...when you do...regardless of gender.
Not all us men are as emotionally and possibly cognitively advanced as your husband.
But from a statistical standpoint, what I'm saying has merit. When men think, emotions don't carry as much priority as they do with women. Left hemisphere vs. right hemisphere kind of stuff.
Of course there are exceptions. But, on average, women are more in tune with how they are feeling.
Not all us men are as emotionally and possibly cognitively advanced as your husband.
i agree with that...thus why he IS my husband.
generally tho...i dislike generalizations.
btw - i did not in any way discredit your post's *merit*...just merely pointing out it doesnt necessarily hold true. in MY life, almost all the men i have been involved with, it does NOT hold true....so i think....there's lots of 'emotionally attuned' men out there....etc.....defferent kinds of people, etc, regardless of gender.
I think it's a lot easier for women to make the conclusion that they are in love because they are naturally a lot more in touch with their emotions than are men.
We men, since the time we were boys, and who are arguably still boys from an emotional standpoint even when we've reached manhood, go through life putting love at the bottom of our list of priorities. On top of that, most of us men would like to believe we are even above it.
Because of this, when we do in fact experience the sensation of being in love, we are the least likely to be able to recognize it...until it is too late.
Also worth mentioning here is the fact that women when having sexual intercourse release a chemical that causes them to experience feelings of trust and emotional bonding. Men do not secrete this chemical...ever.
So, it's just more of a natural thing for women to not only experience love, but to also recognize it.
One heck of a load of assumptions there mate. Not all men are emotional bricks.. I'm certainly not.
And while we're at it, I secrete bonding chemicals all the time. So much so that presently, I am welded to a coffee table.
'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'
I'm not really sure when I knew that my wife was the one for me. I suspect that my first realization of this was the first time that I thought about the future and couldn't imagine her not being in it. All in all, I don't suppose it really matters when I knew that she was the one, only that she became the one.
Not all us men are as emotionally and possibly cognitively advanced as your husband.
But from a statistical standpoint, what I'm saying has merit. When men think, emotions don't carry as much priority as they do with women. Left hemisphere vs. right hemisphere kind of stuff.
Of course there are exceptions. But, on average, women are more in tune with how they are feeling.
I dunno... this is my 4th 'proper' boyfriend... 3 of them told me they love me before I even felt it... with the 4th it was never said by either of us. so that's 3 out of 3 for me
I think I knew when I WANTED to do the boring stuff with him... going out for dinner, staying in hotels, walking along the beach, spoiling ourselves and eachother is all well and good... but the best moments are curling up on the couch watching a film or asking eachother how or day went... all the boring stuff. When you imagine being old and it actually doesn't seem that bad.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Comments
GREAT POST!
i think this really sums up a lot of posts/thoughts. tis true, it's NOT just about *love*.......as many have said, have been *in love* many times. it's about love AND commitment, people who mesh together, work well together, same values/ideals/desires, etc. i fell in love with my husband quickly, but i also tend to fall in love easily. however, for a long-term commitment, there's just soooooooo much MORE!
i think keeping a relationship, and love going, IS always a conscious decision. you may not always be on the same page, but SOMEone in the relationship has to be making an effort at any given time, and MOST of the time, both should for it to truly be good for both.
hail, hail the lucky ones
i refer to those in love!
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
love is ..........I don't know........
you get to the point where you start to wonder why there is no fire/flame fun and excitement and when the shit rolls in........
and I think it always does, there is no passion to get through it.....
but that is me, and in the future there will be no love that doesn't excite me everywhere, mentally, physically, emotionally, etc.
it gets a bit old to have someone look at you like they're your father and burst your bubble and pop your balloon.
P.S. I am currently looking for a man like myself with adhd.........hey we are MORE FUN!!!!!!!
Together we will float like angels.........
In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
OMG... so true... I was looking at my boyfriend while I laid on his bed. As he stood there in the kitchen... a flash came over me while I stared... I could see him in about 40 years in front of me....
My thought... " I really like that!"
We men, since the time we were boys, and who are arguably still boys from an emotional standpoint even when we've reached manhood, go through life putting love at the bottom of our list of priorities. On top of that, most of us men would like to believe we are even above it.
Because of this, when we do in fact experience the sensation of being in love, we are the least likely to be able to recognize it...until it is too late.
Also worth mentioning here is the fact that women when having sexual intercourse release a chemical that causes them to experience feelings of trust and emotional bonding. Men do not secrete this chemical...ever.
So, it's just more of a natural thing for women to not only experience love, but to also recognize it.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
maybe, maybe not. lots of assumptions there. my husband declared his love for me early on...and i think he *knew* way before me, much more *commited* than me, etc. nowdays, sure, we are both more attuned to what our relationship is about and how we feel about each other, etc...but bottomline...i just don't *buy* most generalizations.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
but when I met the person that to this point I consider the love of my life
well that's the thing
I don't remember when I met him. And he doesn't remember when he met me
but I was in love with him from whenever that time that I met him was, and my life hasn't been the same since.
my ex fiance (a different guy) told me he loved me the week after he met me.
so that's 2 right? Isn't that like the Bronx Tale, is that the movie where they said you have to have 3 great loves? So I need one more
"Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
6-01-06
6/25/08
Free Speedy
and Metsy!
Not all us men are as emotionally and possibly cognitively advanced as your husband.
But from a statistical standpoint, what I'm saying has merit. When men think, emotions don't carry as much priority as they do with women. Left hemisphere vs. right hemisphere kind of stuff.
Of course there are exceptions. But, on average, women are more in tune with how they are feeling.
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
i agree with that...thus why he IS my husband.
generally tho...i dislike generalizations.
btw - i did not in any way discredit your post's *merit*...just merely pointing out it doesnt necessarily hold true. in MY life, almost all the men i have been involved with, it does NOT hold true....so i think....there's lots of 'emotionally attuned' men out there....etc.....defferent kinds of people, etc, regardless of gender.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
One heck of a load of assumptions there mate. Not all men are emotional bricks.. I'm certainly not.
And while we're at it, I secrete bonding chemicals all the time. So much so that presently, I am welded to a coffee table.
- the great Sir Leo Harrison
I think I knew when I WANTED to do the boring stuff with him... going out for dinner, staying in hotels, walking along the beach, spoiling ourselves and eachother is all well and good... but the best moments are curling up on the couch watching a film or asking eachother how or day went... all the boring stuff. When you imagine being old and it actually doesn't seem that bad.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you