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For those of you who are married/in love/in long term relationships.....

Cropduster84Cropduster84 Posts: 1,283
edited April 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
How did you know they were the one?
'The more I studied religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.' - Sir Richard Francis Burton
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  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    As much as I can *know*... it's because when I think of my future, I can't imagine one without her in it.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    I don't think that you can really give an answer to "how"... For me at least, I just knew.

    When the "new love" feeling fades, and you still think about that person all-day every-day, and can't imagine your life without them, then you kinda know.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • vedderfan10vedderfan10 Posts: 2,497
    Hmmm...that's tough...I was already in love with my husband before I even met him. Due to work scheduled and prior committments, our relationship was purely a telephone relationship for about a month. We'd have two-hour conversations every night and we'd laugh and giggle. One day, I was at working at my desk (we worked for the same company, just differnt locations in the same city) and suddenly said to the person next to me, "Oh my god! He's here! He just walked in the building!" and I got up and went out to the reception desk to find my true love standing there (keep in mind, I had never seen him before)!!

    I knew for sure he was "the one" and since that moment 19 years ago, we have been together. And I still get butterflies when he picks me up after work...And we still make each other laugh and giggle...
    be philanthropic
  • ladygooddivaladygooddiva Posts: 4,169
    i think it needs time while you know ...talking ,spending time good and bad ..sharing etc.
  • PorchsitterPorchsitter Loganville, GA Posts: 1,069
    blackredyellow wrote:
    I don't think that you can really give an answer to "how"... For me at least, I just knew.


    Agreed. I second this.

    For me, it just made sense.
    We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.--Bill Hicks
  • lukin2006lukin2006 Posts: 9,087
    I think you just know, for me I just knew.
    I have certain rules I live by ... My First Rule ... I don't believe anything the government tells me ... George Carlin

    "Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
  • Stone Is GodStone Is God Posts: 1,331
    For me something just clicked in me right away. It's hard to explain what it is or was but I knew the first time I saw her that she was it for me.

    We can look at each other and say nothing but our looks say everything.

    Your personal selfishness takes a backseat and you want to do what you can for him/her.
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me.
  • panthergirlpanthergirl Posts: 469
    well, my husband and i have been together since we were 18... we got married after 5 years... now married for 21 years.
    next month 26 years together. (!!)

    i don't know how you know. i think the older you get, the more you think about it. i mean, we were just kids.

    we grew together... we still enjoy each others company and make each other laugh. a lot.

    some people grow apart as they mature. it's not wrong, it happens.


    i don't know how you know!! you just know... and take a chance :)
    08 6/11 WPB 6/12 Tampa 6/24,25 MSG, 8/7 Ed @ Newark
    07 8/5 Lolla 8/2 VIC
    06 7/22,23 Gorge 7/20 Ptl
    04 10/8 VFC Kissimmee
    03 4/11 WPB, 4/12 HOB Orlando, 7/8,9 MSG
    00 8/24 Jones Bch 8/9,10 WPB
    1998 9/22,23 WPB 1996 10/7 Ft Laud 1994 3/28 Miami
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    i don't believe in the *one*...not at all. i think long-term relationships are a leap of faith and based on true commitment. hopefully you choose wisely. i love my husband more than ANYone else on this planet, probably always will. also why we've managed to make it to close to 16 years of marriage, thru some truly rocky periods. he adds soooooo much happiness to my life.

    however, i don't think about him 'all day, every day'.....nor get 'butterflies' at the thought of seeing him at the end of the day either. i don't think any of these things mean someone is the *one*. but hey, that's just me. however, he is my very best friend and hell yes he turns me ON like no other....and we are dedicated truly to each other. we still have the BEST times together.

    i've loved 2 other men besides my husband. there were good reasons why those relationships ended and the one i have with my spouse has not. he is the BEST husband i could possibly ask for, a perfect fit for me. i truly hope we will always be together, grow old together. what the future holds, who knows? love is a leap! :)


    bottomline...if it feels right, it probably is...and the old: if you have to ask, you probably already know the answer. ;)
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • GraySaturdayGraySaturday Posts: 2,878
    I knew that at every moment, looking, feeling, being whatever I was I felt 100% comfortable sharing that with him.

    we are looking for the same things in life, have the same values, want the same things, work hard, mesh well.. and we are really good friends.
  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    Well I thought I had found *the one* before. I felt such a level of comfort with my ex-husband...it was all so easy and safe...I had never felt that before. But as it turns out...he was not *the one*...a great friend still...but not the person I am to grow old with. I hope I found it this time...still that easy comfortable feeling...but also feeling like we connect on every level...and he has a way to get me to actually talk about things...this relationship has all the elements i had in my last relationship...but with some extra ingredients. So I don't know...I agree with d2d....not sure there is anyone who is *the one* but some people are definitely better matches than others.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • upina2001upina2001 Indiana Posts: 764
    Cropduster84 wrote:
    How did you know they were the one?


    She walked in the room, and says, "Craig.........I'm pregnant." :D

    Toledo, Ohio (September 22, 1996), East Troy, Wisconsin (June 26, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 17, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 18, 2000), Cincinnati, Ohio (August 20, 2000), Columbus, Ohio (August 21, 2000), Nashville, Tennessee (April 18, 2003), Champaign, Illinois (April 23, 2003), Noblesville, Indiana (June 22, 2003), Chicago, Illinois (May 16, 2006), Chicago, Illinois (August 05, 2007), West Palm Beach, Florida (June 11, 2008), Tampa, Florida (June 12, 2008), Columbus, OH (May 06, 2010), Noblesville, Indiana (May 07, 2010), Wrigley Field (July 19, 2013), US Bank Arena (October 01, 2014), Lexington (April 26, 2016), Chicago Night 2 (August 20, 2018), Boston Night 1 (September 02, 2018), Nashville (September 16, 2022), St. Louis (September 18, 2022)

  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    I don't 'know' he's the one. How can anyone 'know' what the future holds? However, I think it, I feel it and I want it to be so.

    I think that the concept of 'the one' is used too much as a cop-out of a relationship. If things don't work out it's too easy to say 'ah well, they just weren't 'the one' '. With the unspoken allusion to the fact that the next one may be, or that 'the one' is just around the corner.

    Relationships take work on both sides. You can't just sit back and wait for things to unfold. You both have to put in effort if you want to get it back.

    That's why I think he's 'the one' for me, if such things exsist. He's willing to work, to make effort, to put up with things, to compromise.

    He's seen the best and worst of me and I of him, and we love each other because of what we are, not despite of it.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    upina2001 wrote:
    She walked in the room, and says, "Craig.........I'm pregnant." :D



    now THAT's something definitive. :D
    haha.


    personally, i think keeping a relationship going long-term is mostly a choice. VERY important to choose the right person from the get-go, that 'better match' as comebackgirl mentions....but keeping it going takes an active interest from both involved, and so worth it. good dose of optimism, laughter, communication and LUCK sure as shit seems to help too. :p
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • writersuwritersu Posts: 1,867
    I haven't found "the one"........

    so I think it more real for me to know who the one is not.........

    safer too..........

    (but I am hopeful..........)
    Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on The Creek......


    Together we will float like angels.........

    In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    decides2dream wrote:


    but keeping it going takes an active interest from both involved, and so worth it. good dose of optimism, laughter, communication and LUCK sure as shit seems to help too. :p

    I agree...both have to be equally invested to keep it going...cause it sure as hell won't always be easy. Both people have to be equally committed to the relationship and willing to do what it takes to maintain it.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    comebackgirl wrote:
    I agree...both have to be equally invested to keep it going...cause it sure as hell won't always be easy. Both people have to be equally committed to the relationship and willing to do what it takes to maintain it.
    Even more so if there's distance involved.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    urbanhippie wrote:
    Even more so if there's distance involved.
    absolutely. Takes a lot more commitment and effort to keep it going and staying together means both people have to be willing to make major life changes...but if it's right...it's worth it :)
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • brainofjbbrainofjb Boston Posts: 381
    Im not sure it is something that you know RIGHT away.
    I wasnt really into my fiance when we first met
    NOW, he is the love of my life
    There's the moon asking to stay
    Long enough for the clouds to fly me away
  • acoustic guyacoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    Cropduster84 wrote:
    How did you know they were the one?

    Is she?;)
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • ZosoZoso Posts: 6,425
    I knew she was the one just by how we interacted this time last year not even have physically met before that. It just felt like we had been together forever but this was the first day we had met before. Perfect.
    I'm just flying around the other side of the world to say I love you

    Sha la la la i'm in love with a jersey girl

    I love you forever and forever :)

    Adel 03 Melb 1 03 LA 2 06 Santa Barbara 06 Gorge 1 06 Gorge 2 06 Adel 1 06 Adel 2 06 Camden 1 08 Camden 2 08 Washington DC 08 Hartford 08
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Zoso wrote:
    I knew she was the one just by how we interacted this time last year not even have physically met before that. It just felt like we had been together forever but this was the first day we had met before. Perfect.

    I know *exactly* what that feels like.. couldn't have said it better myself.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    Zoso wrote:
    I knew she was the one just by how we interacted this time last year not even have physically met before that. It just felt like we had been together forever but this was the first day we had met before. Perfect.
    This sounds spookily familiar.. To be instantly comfortable in each others presence... amazing.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • brain of cbrain of c Posts: 5,213
    she had my son inside her.
    d'oh!!!!!!

    http://www.myspace.com/brain_of_c
  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    Zoso wrote:
    I knew she was the one just by how we interacted this time last year not even have physically met before that. It just felt like we had been together forever but this was the first day we had met before. Perfect.
    Yeah...I think that's what cemented it for me too...I was so nervous getting off the plane and couldn't even look at him...and then he held my hand and I knew this is him. I know I'm in love when I feel at peace...when I've had a day where I feel bruised and battered by the world and spending time with him feels like being wrapped in a soft warm blanket...that's how I know I'm with the right person.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    Take a few weeks vacation and just completely avoid talking to that person during that time. There should be a sensation in your chest like a double-edged blade is being thrusted into your heart. That's when you know you've got something worth keeping. Hopefully, it won't be too late by that point.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • GoingToLukinsGoingToLukins Posts: 232
    I met mine after a Pearl Jam concert, and here we are 3 years later... :)



    Three crooked hearts, swirls all around

    You can't spell Gossard without G-O-D
  • memememe Posts: 4,695
    urbanhippie wrote:
    I don't 'know' he's the one. How can anyone 'know' what the future holds? However, I think it, I feel it and I want it to be so.

    That's really the key. You want it to be. It's a commitment renewed daily, and fought for all anew whenever you are not sure. At least it is for me :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    meme wrote:
    That's really the key. You want it to be. It's a commitment renewed daily, and fought for all anew whenever you are not sure. At least it is for me :)



    :D


    i love positive meme posts. :)
    and, i agree...
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • cheeseandricecheeseandrice Posts: 206
    You have to know with your heart and your head!

    When I met my husband, I was in a dating relationship with another guy. What I thought was love, was not. Then I met this guy who was respectful, trustworthy and a real keeper- good upbringing and no baggage- at least that what my head said.

    It took about 6 months for me to fall in love with him (with my heart). It was a concious decision. Infatuation and following my heart never got me anywhere.

    We've been together for 15 years now and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't live without him and I would never want to. He's the best husband and father anyone could ever want and I love him with all my heart and soul.
    I will hold the candle until it burns up my arm. I'll keep taking punches until their will grows tired. I will stare the sun down until my eyes go blind. I won't change direction and I won't change my mind.
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