For those of you who are married/in love/in long term relationships.....

Cropduster84

How did you know they were the one?

harmless_little_f***

As much as I can *know*... it's because when I think of my future, I can't imagine one without her in it.

blackredyellow

I don't think that you can really give an answer to "how"... For me at least, I just knew.

When the "new love" feeling fades, and you still think about that person all-day every-day, and can't imagine your life without them, then you kinda know.

vedderfan10

Hmmm...that's tough...I was already in love with my husband before I even met him. Due to work scheduled and prior committments, our relationship was purely a telephone relationship for about a month. We'd have two-hour conversations every night and we'd laugh and giggle. One day, I was at working at my desk (we worked for the same company, just differnt locations in the same city) and suddenly said to the person next to me, "Oh my god! He's here! He just walked in the building!" and I got up and went out to the reception desk to find my true love standing there (keep in mind, I had never seen him before)!!

I knew for sure he was "the one" and since that moment 19 years ago, we have been together. And I still get butterflies when he picks me up after work...And we still make each other laugh and giggle...

ladygooddiva

i think it needs time while you know ...talking ,spending time good and bad ..sharing etc.

Porchsitter

blackredyellow wrote:

I don't think that you can really give an answer to "how"... For me at least, I just knew.

Agreed. I second this.

For me, it just made sense.

lukin2006

I think you just know, for me I just knew.

Stone Is God

For me something just clicked in me right away. It's hard to explain what it is or was but I knew the first time I saw her that she was it for me.

We can look at each other and say nothing but our looks say everything.

Your personal selfishness takes a backseat and you want to do what you can for him/her.

panthergirl

well, my husband and i have been together since we were 18... we got married after 5 years... now married for 21 years.
next month 26 years together. (!!)

i don't know how you know. i think the older you get, the more you think about it. i mean, we were just kids.

we grew together... we still enjoy each others company and make each other laugh. a lot.

some people grow apart as they mature. it's not wrong, it happens.


i don't know how you know!! you just know... and take a chance

decides2dream

i don't believe in the *one*...not at all. i think long-term relationships are a leap of faith and based on true commitment. hopefully you choose wisely. i love my husband more than ANYone else on this planet, probably always will. also why we've managed to make it to close to 16 years of marriage, thru some truly rocky periods. he adds soooooo much happiness to my life.

however, i don't think about him 'all day, every day'.....nor get 'butterflies' at the thought of seeing him at the end of the day either. i don't think any of these things mean someone is the *one*. but hey, that's just me. however, he is my very best friend and hell yes he turns me ON like no other....and we are dedicated truly to each other. we still have the BEST times together.

i've loved 2 other men besides my husband. there were good reasons why those relationships ended and the one i have with my spouse has not. he is the BEST husband i could possibly ask for, a perfect fit for me. i truly hope we will always be together, grow old together. what the future holds, who knows? love is a leap!


bottomline...if it feels right, it probably is...and the old: if you have to ask, you probably already know the answer.

GraySaturday

I knew that at every moment, looking, feeling, being whatever I was I felt 100% comfortable sharing that with him.

we are looking for the same things in life, have the same values, want the same things, work hard, mesh well.. and we are really good friends.

comebackwoman

Well I thought I had found *the one* before. I felt such a level of comfort with my ex-husband...it was all so easy and safe...I had never felt that before. But as it turns out...he was not *the one*...a great friend still...but not the person I am to grow old with. I hope I found it this time...still that easy comfortable feeling...but also feeling like we connect on every level...and he has a way to get me to actually talk about things...this relationship has all the elements i had in my last relationship...but with some extra ingredients. So I don't know...I agree with d2d....not sure there is anyone who is *the one* but some people are definitely better matches than others.

upina2001

Cropduster84 wrote:

How did you know they were the one?

She walked in the room, and says, "Craig.........I'm pregnant."

urbanhippie

I don't 'know' he's the one. How can anyone 'know' what the future holds? However, I think it, I feel it and I want it to be so.

I think that the concept of 'the one' is used too much as a cop-out of a relationship. If things don't work out it's too easy to say 'ah well, they just weren't 'the one' '. With the unspoken allusion to the fact that the next one may be, or that 'the one' is just around the corner.

Relationships take work on both sides. You can't just sit back and wait for things to unfold. You both have to put in effort if you want to get it back.

That's why I think he's 'the one' for me, if such things exsist. He's willing to work, to make effort, to put up with things, to compromise.

He's seen the best and worst of me and I of him, and we love each other because of what we are, not despite of it.

decides2dream

upina2001 wrote:

She walked in the room, and says, "Craig.........I'm pregnant."

now THAT's something definitive.
haha.


personally, i think keeping a relationship going long-term is mostly a choice. VERY important to choose the right person from the get-go, that 'better match' as comebackgirl mentions....but keeping it going takes an active interest from both involved, and so worth it. good dose of optimism, laughter, communication and LUCK sure as shit seems to help too.

writersu

I haven't found "the one"........

so I think it more real for me to know who the one is not.........

safer too..........

(but I am hopeful..........)

comebackwoman

decides2dream wrote:

but keeping it going takes an active interest from both involved, and so worth it. good dose of optimism, laughter, communication and LUCK sure as shit seems to help too.

I agree...both have to be equally invested to keep it going...cause it sure as hell won't always be easy. Both people have to be equally committed to the relationship and willing to do what it takes to maintain it.

urbanhippie

comebackgirl wrote:

I agree...both have to be equally invested to keep it going...cause it sure as hell won't always be easy. Both people have to be equally committed to the relationship and willing to do what it takes to maintain it.

Even more so if there's distance involved.

comebackwoman

urbanhippie wrote:

Even more so if there's distance involved.

absolutely. Takes a lot more commitment and effort to keep it going and staying together means both people have to be willing to make major life changes...but if it's right...it's worth it

brainofjb

Im not sure it is something that you know RIGHT away.
I wasnt really into my fiance when we first met
NOW, he is the love of my life

acoustic guy

Cropduster84 wrote:

How did you know they were the one?

Is she?;)