"you look too young to have a child."

Brain of J.Lo
Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
edited November 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
I went to some training for a new part-time job I am starting, and while making small talk with a couple of the people training me, I mentioned my daughter. one of the women looked at me and said in a very matter-of-fact way, "You look too young to have a child."

Huh? :D

I responded with "well...I'm 27..."

She also glanced down at my left hand as she said it, and I think she was checking for rings (which I happened to not be wearing...)

Maybe she was just trying to flatter me, or something, but what a weird comment to make...lol.
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Comments

  • roar
    roar Posts: 1,116
    half the time women say this to find out exactly how old you are...i've heard it many times in my field. younger women are threatening to some older women.

    i'd take it as a compliment...tinged with her jealousy.
  • rarghrargh-brownstar
    rarghrargh-brownstar Posts: 1,272
    cute story. heh heh
    Maybe she was just trying to make some conversation...at any rate, you do look young and thats not a bad thing. Nor is it bad to look older (ok, i just dont want to offend anyone). :D

    Youre a beautiful mommy, and thats what matters.
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  • Phantom Pain
    Phantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    I went to some training for a new part-time job I am starting, and while making small talk with a couple of the people training me, I mentioned my daughter. one of the women looked at me and said in a very matter-of-fact way, "You look too young to have a child."

    Huh? :D

    I responded with "well...I'm 27..."

    She also glanced down at my left hand as she said it, and I think she was checking for rings (which I happened to not be wearing...)

    Maybe she was just trying to flatter me, or something, but what a weird comment to make...lol.


    That is an odd statement considering teenagers are popping out kids everyday!

    I'm not saying you don't look young, Jenna ;)
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  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    I went to some training for a new part-time job I am starting, and while making small talk with a couple of the people training me, I mentioned my daughter. one of the women looked at me and said in a very matter-of-fact way, "You look too young to have a child."

    Huh? :D

    I responded with "well...I'm 27..."

    She also glanced down at my left hand as she said it, and I think she was checking for rings (which I happened to not be wearing...)

    Maybe she was just trying to flatter me, or something, but what a weird comment to make...lol.

    I get exactly the same thing and I'm 27 too. It never flatter's me, actually it makes me feel really uncomfortable when I'm pushing his pram around.

    I look like a single teenager mother... I wish people would stop keep saying it! Sorry... I had a bit of a rant there.
  • dharma69
    dharma69 Posts: 1,275
    You're making more of it than it really is and I hardly find it a weird comment.

    Sometimes a compliment is just that. Who knew that one day people (particularly women) would be off-put by others thinking that they looked young?

    My, how the times have changed.
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  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    roar wrote:
    half the time women say this to find out exactly how old you are...i've heard it many times in my field. younger women are threatening to some older women.

    i'd take it as a compliment...tinged with her jealousy.
    I'd definitely take it as a compliment. Not everything people say has something behind it. I'm sure I've said something like that before but it would just come out of my mouth cos it's simply what I'm thinking at the time :o but it doesn't mean any offense... it just means you look young :)

    Jeeeezzz... learn to take a bloody compliment girl :p:)
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  • urbanhippie
    urbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    I'd definitely take it as a compliment. Not everything people say has something behind it. I'm sure I've said something like that before but it would just come out of my mouth cos it's simply what I'm thinking at the time :o but it doesn't mean any offense... it just means you look young :)

    Jeeeezzz... learn to take a bloody compliment girl :p:)
    Take it as a compliment....
    Last time I got ID checked when buying beer, I danced out of the shop....:)
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  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    I'd definitely take it as a compliment. Not everything people say has something behind it. I'm sure I've said something like that before but it would just come out of my mouth cos it's simply what I'm thinking at the time :o but it doesn't mean any offense... it just means you look young :)

    Jeeeezzz... learn to take a bloody compliment girl :p:)

    I can't speak for Brain of J Lo but I think I know what she means.

    They say it takes one to know one and I have to confess, when I see a teenage girl pushing a pram along, I think *tut* Another teenage pregnancy.

    I worry that people look at me and think the same. That I'm a teenager that got knocked up and doesn't know who the father is.

    I didn't want to have to confess that but a lot of people have said 'Just take it as a compliment'.
  • given2fly78
    given2fly78 Posts: 404
    It is definately a backhanded compliment. I don't have kids, but I'm 29 and don't look like it. I get ID'd all the time and I've even gotten a hard time on a few occasions. Like I'd try and pass for 29 LOL.

    So long as our youthful good looks don't catch up to us.....

    She's probably jealous.
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  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    I can't speak for Brain of J Lo but I think I know what she means.

    I worry that people look at me and think the same. That I'm a teenager that got knocked up and doesn't know who the father is.

    I didn't want to have to confess that but a lot of people have said 'Just take it as a compliment'.

    You summed up my feelings exactly! :) It's not that I an offended by people thinking I look young, but I'm offended by the fact that they are forming some kind of opinion about my "right" to be a mother...if that makes sense...?
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    dharma69 wrote:
    You're making more of it than it really is and I hardly find it a weird comment.

    Sometimes a compliment is just that. Who knew that one day people (particularly women) would be off-put by others thinking that they looked young?

    My, how the times have changed.

    I'm not really making anything of it... I know I look young. :D This is not news to me. ;) It just struck me as something that, in some situations, might not be an appropriate comment.

    From her tone, I could tell it was more of a comment than a compliment. And I wasn't necessarily put off by it. The reason it struck me as odd was that *if* I were a very young mother, that might be an issue I am sensitive about and, therefore, not something I would appreciate hearing comments about. Does that make sense?

    So...I don't think this is really worthy of being viewed as a comment on our changing world. :D
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    Phantom Pain wrote:
    That is an odd statement considering teenagers are popping out kids everyday!

    I'm not saying you don't look young, Jenna ;)

    lol! Yeah, I was thinking..."surely she doesn't think I am LITERALLY too young to bear children...lol"
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    given2fly78 wrote:
    It is definately a backhanded compliment. I don't have kids, but I'm 29 and don't look like it. I get ID'd all the time and I've even gotten a hard time on a few occasions. Like I'd try and pass for 29 LOL.

    So long as our youthful good looks don't catch up to us.....

    She's probably jealous.

    I get carded a lot, too.

    Sometimes, I even get quizzed about the details on my ID. :D
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    I bought a bottle of wine the other day and the woman asked me for ID. You have to be 18 here to buy alcohol!

    The woman said 'Damn, you look good for 27 girl'.

    I think I just look short AND old. :D I should take it as a compliment, I guess.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    I get carded a lot, too.

    Sometimes, I even get quizzed about the details on my ID. :D

    I just recently stopped getting the ID quiz, and I'm 29. The really funny thing is, I have brother that's almost 6 years younger than me, and when I meet people who know him, they assume I'm the younger sibling. 2 years ago at his college graduation, his friend who was the same as me- 27- asked him how he managed to get me into the bar.
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    I went to some training for a new part-time job I am starting, and while making small talk with a couple of the people training me, I mentioned my daughter. one of the women looked at me and said in a very matter-of-fact way, "You look too young to have a child."

    Huh? :D

    I responded with "well...I'm 27..."

    She also glanced down at my left hand as she said it, and I think she was checking for rings (which I happened to not be wearing...)

    Maybe she was just trying to flatter me, or something, but what a weird comment to make...lol.
    Were you wearing your J Lo concert tee shirt? :p
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  • libragirl
    libragirl Posts: 4,632
    I would think it would be flattering...:)
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    TrixieCat wrote:
    Were you wearing your J Lo concert tee shirt? :p

    lol, oh no, that must have been it! :D
  • dharma69
    dharma69 Posts: 1,275
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    I'm not really making anything of it... I know I look young. :D This is not news to me. ;) It just struck me as something that, in some situations, might not be an appropriate comment.

    From her tone, I could tell it was more of a comment than a compliment. And I wasn't necessarily put off by it. The reason it struck me as odd was that *if* I were a very young mother, that might be an issue I am sensitive about and, therefore, not something I would appreciate hearing comments about. Does that make sense?

    So...I don't think this is really worthy of being viewed as a comment on our changing world. :D
    Well, tone certainly can change everything.

    I'm glad that you look too young to have a child. Yay Oil of Olay.
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  • _Crazy_Mary_
    _Crazy_Mary_ Posts: 1,299
    This happened to me last month. I was waiting on a nice couple and when they paid, they used their Ariel the Mermaid Visa card. I commented that my daughter loves Ariel and wanted to be Ariel for Halloween. Their jaws both dropped and the wife (who is probably younger than me) said, "I can't believe you have a daughter!" I was offended a little at first thinking, 'why, because a mother should be at home with her children, not working?' And when I told her I actually have 3 daughters, they said I looked to young to have any children. It was nice to hear.
    I really screwed that up. I really Schruted it.
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