How do you deal with In-Laws

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  • PatrickBateman
    PatrickBateman Posts: 2,243
    My wife haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    all the women on my side of the family.

    It makes holidays and birthdays oh so special occasions.....between them all I almost dread birthdays and holidays.
    If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • libragirl
    libragirl Posts: 4,632
    PatrickBateman wrote:
    My wife haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    all the women on my side of the family.

    It makes holidays and birthdays oh so special occasions.....between them all I almost dread birthdays and holidays.

    damn...that must be hard..why does she hate everyone?
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    WildChildRose wrote:
    This goes out to everyone in relationships who have had to deal with some shitty in-laws. Wondering how everyone else deals with this crap... here's my situation in a nut-shell.
    My fianace has a sister whom I was friends with before I met him, that is how I met him. They don't always get along, she is a very controlling mean-spirited person at times and they constantly hit heads. She does that to her friends too and has a hard time keeping them. Recently she pulled it with me, we got into an argument and instead of being an adult, she pulled out the nasty card and started name calling and bashing me on her web-site. Really lame and immature for a 35 yr old.
    Anyways when I ask my fiance to stand up for me, he says he doesn't want to be involved. She's shit talking to her whole family now and says I am not a part of it and never will be. Am I wrong to expect my fiance to stand up for me? He just says, whatever, ignore her.. etc. But way to make for an uncomfortable situation in my life. So now she's pulling in people, even my fiance's ex-gf from 10 years ago... I'm so sick of it.. It's enough to make me want to end this engagement if I'm going to have to deal with this crap all of my life.
    What should I do? Should I just ignore them and let that family talk shit on me, tell me I'm not invited to things... etc.... and is it unreasonable to ask my fiance to stand by my side? I think its messed up if he goes to family events and leaves me behind... I love him very much but his family is screwy. :( Thanks for listening... and for any advice.

    This is a tough one. Once you become engaged, that person should be your most important family member. If my husband's family had a serious problem with me, I know he'd cut them off...and I would do the same. I think it's part of making a lifetime commitment to someone.
  • WildChildRose
    WildChildRose Posts: 568
    PatrickBateman wrote:
    My wife haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    all the women on my side of the family.

    It makes holidays and birthdays oh so special occasions.....between them all I almost dread birthdays and holidays.


    yea that is what I am most worried about... that must really suck. :(
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • Steve Dunne
    Steve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Fanch speaks with a wisdom that defies his taste in beer.

    freakin' hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
    I love to turn you on
  • WildChildRose
    WildChildRose Posts: 568
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    This is a tough one. Once you become engaged, that person should be your most important family member. If my husband's family had a serious problem with me, I know he'd cut them off...and I would do the same. I think it's part of making a lifetime commitment to someone.

    I completely agree...
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • Steve Dunne
    Steve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    WCR - You have to really think long term, IMO. And decide if this is something you want to get into/deal with for the rest of your life. The family does come along with the husband. You're not marrying one person, but the whole shootin' match. And if you're outcasted before you even enter this new family, then, well, if doesn't sound like a lifetime of happiness awaits you...regardless of what your fiancee thinks/does.
    I love to turn you on
  • PatrickBateman
    PatrickBateman Posts: 2,243
    WildChildRose wrote:
    yea that is what I am most worried about... that must really suck. :(

    she doesn't come to any of my "side of the families" bday's, holidays, etc and actually I felt like an asshole not attending my nieces Walk for Autism this year because my wife would get pissed. I did design the banners and donate $$$ though. But I have to do it "in secret".

    Trust me, it sucks. I DO choose my wife over family, but she wants me to all and out abandon them....which sucks.

    did i mention IT SUCKS!
    If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • WildChildRose
    WildChildRose Posts: 568
    Steve Dunne wrote:
    WCR - You have to really think long term, IMO. And decide if this is something you want to get into/deal with for the rest of your life. The family does come along with the husband. You're not marrying one person, but the whole shootin' match. And if you're outcasted before you even enter this new family, then, well, if doesn't sound like a lifetime of happiness awaits you...regardless of what your fiancee thinks/does.

    Actually I'm only marrying him... not his whole family. I dont like that clan family crap.... He rarely sees his family anyway and it's a broken family at that. Honestly I'm not too worried anymore. They can sling their mud and look like idiots and I'll just keep going on with my life. At least I have a loving passionate relationship. :)
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • WildChildRose
    WildChildRose Posts: 568
    PatrickBateman wrote:
    she doesn't come to any of my "side of the families" bday's, holidays, etc and actually I felt like an asshole not attending my nieces Walk for Autism this year because my wife would get pissed. I did design the banners and donate $$$ though. But I have to do it "in secret".

    Trust me, it sucks. I DO choose my wife over family, but she wants me to all and out abandon them....which sucks.

    did i mention IT SUCKS!

    yea see instead of doing that... I think I'll just keep my concerns to myself. If he wants to see and spend time with her, have fun. shes not a fun person to hang out with.. they have nothing in common... so I know the outcome already. She's a nasty nasty person. She told her son who has to visit his dad for the summer... "I can't wait until you leave!"

    Shes one of those classic people with the huge big mouth and thinks shes so awesome for spewing shit on everyone.
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • PatrickBateman
    PatrickBateman Posts: 2,243
    I remeber coaching my son to his little league championship game. My wife was there with my daughter....we were in a tooth and nail game....and I look out past left fence and my brother and mother were out watching. You know the first though in my head was? no....not that we were about to win a tight game and my son had had been a big part of it....it was the aftermath I would have to endure because if we won....my parents and brother would come to congratulate my son.
    If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • Steve Dunne
    Steve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    WildChildRose wrote:
    Actually I'm only marrying him... not his whole family. I dont like that clan family crap.... He rarely sees his family anyway and it's a broken family at that. Honestly I'm not too worried anymore. They can sling their mud and look like idiots and I'll just keep going on with my life. At least I have a loving passionate relationship. :)

    well that's good. i hope everything works out!!! :)
    cheers!
    I love to turn you on
  • WildChildRose
    WildChildRose Posts: 568
    PatrickBateman wrote:
    I remeber coaching my son to his little league championship game. My wife was there with my daughter....we were in a tooth and nail game....and I look out past left fence and my brother and mother were out watching. You know the first though in my head was? no....not that we were about to win a tight game and my son had had been a big part of it....it was the aftermath I would have to endure because if we won....my parents and brother would come to congratulate my son.

    That's so sad. :(

    I have a neighbor who is going through something too. Her own mother chooses her ex-husband over her and puts crap into the kids heads. She is always outside crying. Her and I talk from time to time bc we both deal with a lot. I just don't understand why people have to insist on making other's lives so difficult.
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • PatrickBateman
    PatrickBateman Posts: 2,243
    WildChildRose wrote:
    yea see instead of doing that... I think I'll just keep my concerns to myself. If he wants to see and spend time with her, have fun. shes not a fun person to hang out with.. they have nothing in common... so I know the outcome already. She's a nasty nasty person. She told her son who has to visit his dad for the summer... "I can't wait until you leave!"

    Shes one of those classic people with the huge big mouth and thinks shes so awesome for spewing shit on everyone.

    I will save this thread for when I am sober....boss took us out to lunch and I slammed 5 Guinnesses and 2 shots of JD within and hour...
    If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • libragirl
    libragirl Posts: 4,632
    Steve Dunne wrote:
    WCR - You have to really think long term, IMO. And decide if this is something you want to get into/deal with for the rest of your life. The family does come along with the husband. You're not marrying one person, but the whole shootin' match. And if you're outcasted before you even enter this new family, then, well, if doesn't sound like a lifetime of happiness awaits you...regardless of what your fiancee thinks/does.

    I agree with you and most of the time the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • WildChildRose
    WildChildRose Posts: 568
    libragirl wrote:
    I agree with you and most of the time the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

    I always wanted to marry an orphan. Really and truly... **sigh**
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • PatrickBateman
    PatrickBateman Posts: 2,243
    WildChildRose wrote:
    That's so sad. :(

    I have a neighbor who is going through something too. Her own mother chooses her ex-husband over her and puts crap into the kids heads. She is always outside crying. Her and I talk from time to time bc we both deal with a lot. I just don't understand why people have to insist on making other's lives so difficult.

    After my third child was born (my wife beggggged me to have one more) she told me "It's over between your mom and me...I dont want to fight anymore" I had never felt such a wieght lifted off of my shoulders...I almost cried....

    2 weeks later..........back to the same shit
    If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • markymark550
    markymark550 Columbia, SC Posts: 5,217
    WildChildRose wrote:
    She told her son who has to visit his dad for the summer... "I can't wait until you leave!"
    that's some great motherly love right there....
  • libragirl
    libragirl Posts: 4,632
    WildChildRose wrote:
    I always wanted to marry an orphan. Really and truly... **sigh**

    ha...it is so weird that you wrote that, I was going to post earlier that I was in the market for an orphan. :p
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • WildChildRose
    WildChildRose Posts: 568
    libragirl wrote:
    ha...it is so weird that you wrote that, I was going to post earlier that I was in the market for an orphan. :p

    Ha ha ha seriously. Or at least one that doesn't have two sisters! EEEK. I have 3 brothers, you'd think that would be a bit more intimidating! But my brother's are such wonderful men!
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."

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