becos the women around here dont hate me enough already

Lol! Never a dull moment on the Train!

Abookamongstthemany wrote:

Lol! Never a dull moment on the Train!

baraka wrote:

What? Dominatrix remedies? What is that exactly and how does it apply to angelica's posts?

That doesn't sound much like Daniel Boone to me. You know, he met his wife, Rebecca, while out hunting one night in the woods. He swears, from the light of his lamp, her eyes glowed.... damn near shot her with his musket.

angelica wrote:

You're gonna have to start paying attention if you don't know but want to.

for your sake, i'll go check the original stupid post.

soulsinging wrote:

interesting study:

http://www.slate.com/id/2162652/

"A Swedish government study finds a "trade-off between gender equality … and public health." The study compared absenteeism, disability, and life expectancy data among nearly 300 municipalities. It checked the data against nine indicators of equality in public and private employment, such as average income and the percentages of men and women in executive jobs. Result: "Gender equality … correlated with poorer health for both men and women." Researchers' theories: 1) Women have taken on more male burdens, but men haven't reciprocated, so women are overburdened. 2) Men suffer from having "lost many of their old privileges." 3) Women have "greater opportunities for risky behavior as a result of increased income." Conservative spin: Told you so. Liberal spin: It's not real equality till men do their part. (Previous update: Housework prevents breast cancer. For Human Nature's takes on male-female differences in violence, child abuse, and vengeance, click here, here, and here.)"

This study totally discounts the economic variables regarding...economics. This isn't a gender issue.

baraka wrote:

It is not to say that there is NO oppression, of course there is, some much worse than others! I just choose to not play in to the role assigned to me. I choose not to contribute to the negative stereotype.

Playing the victim and holding resentment only kills your spirit and squashes your dreams.

I think what angelica is saying, and she said it pretty well, I think, is that, there are those amongst us that seek our own recognition, in spite of what others perceive of our pasts.

soulsinging wrote:

...there is nothing invalid or wrong in stereotypes... there is usually a strong basis in truth for them....

I would say unless they are unrealistic. Based on our stereotype, we may respond to our own impression in a way that backfires on us, by being inaccurate as per the situation. Stereotypes can literally be wrong if we are seeking to assess what we see and if we are inaccurate in our snap judgment. Such as with the stuck up sorority girl who may not be so at all.

there is nothing about making errors in judgment based on stereotypes. if you look at someone and figure they're X way becos of stereotypes that's not an error in judgment really, just a bad guess. if you persist in labeling that person and putting them in a box based on your stereotype despite clear evidence that this is wrong, then you have a case of prejudice, not stereotyping... the belief that people cannot transcend your stereotypical beliefs about how they will act.

stereotypes to me are simply sociology... broad impressions of group behavior based on gathered information. nobody with true stereotypical beliefs actually thinks everyone in said group HAS to act a given way becos that is the stereotype. such a belief is prejudice, not stereotyping. rationalizing goes more to prejudice in my mind, becos it involves an active process or effort to fit somebody into a category regardless of evidence contradicting it... you rationalize a belief you know is false becos you don't want to deal with truth. a stereotype is just a guess at someone's category before one has had a chance to gather any evidence to the contrary. so rationalizing has no place in stereotyping in my mind. if you have a different understanding of what rationalizing means, then this is just semantic disagreement.

We use stereotypes to prejudge all the time, before we know the actual variables of a situation. Sometimes this works, other times it doesn't. I do it all the time--it's inevitable. The trick is to acknowledge and realize this so one can make amends and acknowledge, adapt and learn when it's not working. Unfortunately, often people cling to their stereotypes and continually rely on the stereotype without adapting based on input that conflicts. Which is where we get closed minded prejudiced people. I find this to be a common shadow aspect of stereotyping--the dark side.

For example, the stereotypes against men in our society to me reflect a lot of unresolved emotional issues with women towards men at this time, which is valid in terms of women's experiences and of cycles that have not yet been resolved. However, if it inaccurately portrays men NOT on the even playing field, then it's an illusion--a false dichotomy is set into play. If we perceive someone as above us, it is inaccurate, and by our perceiving that, we set up an imbalance, and we entitle ourselves to try to "level" them. And we become what we supposedly dislike. The only psychologically safe bet is to operate on the even playing field.

baraka wrote:

It is not to say that there is NO oppression, of course there is, some much worse than others!

The oppression is real, and yet there is a firm difference between holding someone accountable and with blaming them. One is straightforward, while the other enables us to weave in a shadow aspect of ourselves where we entitle ourselves to act persecutory to "get them back". And really, what the latter does is reflect our own personal unresolved emotions which are our own responsibility, and not another's.

I hold people accountable far and wide, and surprisingly, when you are straightforward and non-blaming/shaming, they tend to respond in kind, by operating equally on the even playing field in an above board manner to resolve the issue. The minute we operate from the victim/blame perspective, we create our own squirmishes, all because we aren't acknowledging our own issues that we are bringing to the table.

I give up.

I'm glad I'm not a girl.