what social causes are your thing?

Trau · February 2007

angelica wrote:

Playboy and porn has dramatically affected how I have looked at myself since puberty. I was exposed to those magazines that my older brother had in his room (that I'd steal in the fifth grade to sell to the boys at school for candy--another story!) I remember reading Xaviera Hollander's Penthouse column as a young teen, and learning about how much men enjoyed oral sex and how we girls best be putting out for male pleasure. I've objectified myself through the years to a severe degree. I had an eating disorder for about 30 years, and not to mention severe obsessive-compulsive disorder where I "did" my hair for countless hours a day--from 2-8 hours (yes, "doing" my hair). I was unable to leave my home most days (I left home about 4 days per month. I could only go out to socialize if I drank at home first, and became numb to my overwhelming insecurities. Of course drinking only led to further self-and other-objectification of myself. ). This was due to feeling that I was not up to standard. When I did go out, drunk, wearing push-up bras and ample cleavage, I was called Elvira by people in the streets. I was dramatically affected by the sexualized images that most definitely included playboy and others.

I think in this case you are probably an exception. Especially since young girls, though a few care to look at it, are not targeted by Playboy.

What I meant about the male sexuality before is that when women/girls are looking up to Britney, Christina, Shakira, etc. it's also because we want the package or image that is being sold--so they feel that by buying the products, they are somehow associated with that "wonderful sought after girl". But it comes down to that they want to be seen that way so that men will want them, imo.
.

Total agreement. They think that if they objectify themselves, they will be wanted.

Collin · February 2007

angelica wrote:

Well God bless Canada and apparently the Canadian men who say this type of thing!! Any representatives from other countries out there that feel the need to jump in and agree?

I agree with Cosmo. But I do value brains more than looks, in the end. But initially it's the physical characteristics that attract me.

angelica · February 2007

Cosmo wrote:

...
How can you SEE intelligence? Kindness, caring, compassion? You can't. All you can see is physical attributes... that is the initial attraction. For all you know, the smartest gal in the house is the one in the corner with the glasses and carrying around an extra 60 pounds who never gets the chance to show anyone because no one ever asks her to dance.

My boyfriend has prioritized intelligence and says that's been his main thing, and yet, all his girlfriends have had a similar and unusual body type. He claims it has not been his priority, and yet actions and results would say otherwise--so maybe he downplays the physical aspect, and is more unconscious of it, and yet it's still there.

I see what sourdough is saying though--that a girl could be very "hot" but if she was unintelligent he'd turn the other way. I totally get that. And also, I can see that while he might overlook lots of great girls without realizing it, it's also entirely plausible that someone could ignite a fiery interest by being "where he is" in terms of intellect. Natural selection works that way.

sourdough · February 2007

Cosmo wrote:

...
How can you SEE intelligence? Kindness, caring, compassion? You can't. All you can see is physical attributes... that is the initial attraction. For all you know, the smartest gal in the house is the one in the corner with the glasses and carrying around an extra 60 pounds who never gets the chance to show anyone because no one ever asks her to dance.

I'm not saying that appearance and physical attraction isn't a factor. It certainly is, but I can think of many times where I have been around girls that I wasn't really attracted to until I got to know them better and heard that they have something important to say from time to time. Conversely, there are many attractive celebrities who have become less physically attractive after listening to some of the things they say.

Cosmo · February 2007

angelica wrote:

I agree about substance. And I agree about TV. I gave up TV in the fall and it's a huge difference not being bombarded with the media really at all.

...
It's tough to avoid... it's on billboards, bus stops, radio, magazine racks, television. I think the best thing is to let your kids know that all of that is imagery that does not exist in the real world. Go to the market and count the number of super models you see in there, either working or shopping. I have YET to see one. I see a lot of beautiful women... and a lot of not so beautiful ones... but, never the ones on the covers of magazines. THAT is the real world that we live in.
Glad to hear you are doing all right, now. Too bad all that shit happened to you in the past. Take it... own it... learn from it... teach others how to avoid it.

sourdough · February 2007

angelica wrote:

Well God bless Canada and apparently the Canadian men who say this type of thing!! Any representatives from other countries out there that feel the need to jump in and agree?

Don't get me wrong, we can be pigs in so many ways

Cosmo · February 2007

sourdough wrote:

I'm not saying that appearance and physical attraction isn't a factor. It certainly is, but I can think of many times where I have been around girls that I wasn't really attracted to until I got to know them better and heard that they have something important to say from time to time.

...
That's the catch... the limitations of our five senses. We cannot see the intangibles, which is why we are attracted to the physicals... the nice hair, pretty eyes, round tits and ass. The perfect emotional/intellectual match for me may be in the body of a gal that smells funky, so I don't approach her.
And I see where you are coming from. Like in a school or work situation... where you spend a lot of time around a gal and over time, you realize what a great person she is. But, if you were never in that situation... that realization would have never occurred. I should maker you wonder about all those women whom got passed by because you didn't spend the time to get to know her... I wonder about that all the time because it happens to me all the time.

angelica · February 2007

Trau wrote:

I think in this case you are probably an exception. Especially since young girls, though a few care to look at it, are not targeted by Playboy.

I had a friend from my teen years who became a murdered prostitute. I have another friend --my best friend from grade 2 on-- who is a "madame" at this time, running a "house of ill-repute". We may have been on a further end of the spectrum, but the more mainstream girls still had Barbie, who has porno like proportions. I know we aren't targeted specifically by porn, but again, the underlying dynamics I see as being the same--women being groomed to be pursued by men. Marketing and the media cannot work unless they hook certain dynamics that are in existence. For anyone interested, such principles have been studied and can be used for financial gain.

The average person of my generation who was also "raised" on Penthouse letters probably doesn't realize the degree that their sexuality was molded by men looking to make money. We've gone way beyond meeting needs, to creating and thirst for meeting needs we think we've got because they've been planted in our heads.

angelica · February 2007

Cosmo wrote:

...
It's tough to avoid... it's on billboards, bus stops, radio, magazine racks, television. I think the best thing is to let your kids know that all of that is imagery that does not exist in the real world.

My kids are more savvy at spotting the marketing ploys than I am. I'm old-fashioned and naive in their eyes!

Go to the market and count the number of super models you see in there, either working or shopping. I have YET to see one. I see a lot of beautiful women... and a lot of not so beautiful ones... but, never the ones on the covers of magazines. THAT is the real world that we live in.

My boyfriend spent a few years deprgrogramming me from my media-beauty nightmare life with the mentality you are talking about here. He would show me all the airbrushing and illusions when I could not see through the glamour.

Glad to hear you are doing all right, now. Too bad all that shit happened to you in the past. Take it... own it... learn from it... teach others how to avoid it.

Thanks. I definitely plan to teach others.

angelica · February 2007

sourdough wrote:

Don't get me wrong, we can be pigs in so many ways

I was raised on Penthouse letters! I'd be disappointed if you all would be any other way!

Cosmo · February 2007

angelica wrote:

I had a friend from my teen years who became a murdered prostitute. I have another friend --my best friend from grade 2 on-- who is a "madame" at this time, running a "house of ill-repute". We may have been on a further end of the spectrum, but the more mainstream girls still had Barbie, who has porno like proportions. I know we aren't targeted specifically by porn, but again, the underlying dynamics I see as being the same--women being groomed to be pursued by men. Marketing and the media cannot work unless they hook certain dynamics that are in existence. For anyone interested, such principles have been studied and can be used for financial gain.

The average person of my generation who was also "raised" on Penthouse letters probably doesn't realize the degree that their sexuality was molded by men looking to make money. We've gone way beyond meeting needs, to creating and thirst for meeting needs we think we've got because they've been planted in our heads.

...
It works both ways...
I can remember being a teen and asking my gal friends what they wanted to be/do when they grow up and a lot of them answered, 'Marry a rich guy'. Of course, that's like saying, 'I want to win the lottery when I grow up', but it is something that these young gals fantasized about.
And as for sexuality... it should be something you do both for yourself and your partner. The ideal situation is on in which the more you give, the more you get. If your lover is selfish in bed, there's a good probability that he is selfish in life... leave his punk ass. That's what i say.

Cosmo · February 2007

angelica wrote:

I was raised on Penthouse letters! I'd be disappointed if you all would be any other way!

...
Penthouse Forum? Did you ever wonder why there were so many young, sexy, female college professors that would hold a C average student after class, then rip off her clothes and say, 'Nail me'... right there in the classroom? I was in college for a long ass time and knew hundreds and hundreds of students and this never happened to any of them. And I and remember one Art instructor I had that was prety cute... but, no 36 DDs stuffed in a tight cashmere V-Neck. Kinda cute... average build... but, not banging the male students.
Penthouse Forum is basically failed scripts for porn movies... which is why the pizza delivery guy or the studly pool guy ALWAYS end up in either a naked Sorority House or in the bed of an older woman with a killer body. And the guys that write that stuff are always basking in the giant shadow cast by their turgid throbbing member.
I've had a good share of bangin' it in my day... but... NEVER close to the sexcapades that occur monthly in the pages of Penthouse Forum.

ThumbingMyWay32 · February 2007

Cosmo wrote:

...
It works both ways...
I can remember being a teen and asking my gal friends what they wanted to be/do when they grow up and a lot of them answered, 'Marry a rich guy'. Of course, that's like saying, 'I want to win the lottery when I grow up', but it is something that these young gals fantasized about.
And as for sexuality... it should be something you do both for yourself and your partner. The ideal situation is on in which the more you give, the more you get. If your lover is selfish in bed, there's a good probability that he is selfish in life... leave his punk ass. That's what i say.

She's coming to visit me soon. She said so.

ThumbingMyWay32 · February 2007

angelica wrote:

My kids are more savvy at spotting the marketing ploys than I am. I'm old-fashioned and naive in their eyes!

My boyfriend spent a few years deprgrogramming me from my media-beauty nightmare life with the mentality you are talking about here. He would show me all the airbrushing and illusions when I could not see through the glamour.

Thanks. I definitely plan to teach others.

Did he buy a HDTV?

not4u · February 2007

election fraud

angelica · February 2007

Cosmo wrote:

...
Penthouse Forum? Did you ever wonder why there were so many young, sexy, female college professors that would hold a C average student after class, then rip off her clothes and say, 'Nail me'... right there in the classroom? I was in college for a long ass time and knew hundreds and hundreds of students and this never happened to any of them. And I and remember one Art instructor I had that was prety cute... but, no 36 DDs stuffed in a tight cashmere V-Neck. Kinda cute... average build... but, not banging the male students.
Penthouse Forum is basically failed scripts for porn movies... which is why the pizza delivery guy or the studly pool guy ALWAYS end up in either a naked Sorority House or in the bed of an older woman with a killer body. And the guys that write that stuff are always basking in the giant shadow cast by their turgid throbbing member.
I've had a good share of bangin' it in my day... but... NEVER close to the sexcapades that occur monthly in the pages of Penthouse Forum.

Oh I know....I think this is the first time I've seen/heard the word "turgid" being used, much less in a sentence. And after looking it up, I'm laughing hysterically! But yeah, I totally know all that.

(the shadown cast...lol!)

angelica · February 2007

ThumbingMyWay32 wrote:

Did he buy a HDTV?

I love it when you drop in the conversation about objectifying women to objectify women. It makes me harken back to the days when you were mentally undressing me in the thread about mental rape. Oh wait, maybe you're just minimizing my feelings....

...oh well, though, as long as I can call you Sunshine!

Jeanwah · February 2007

angelica wrote:

My boyfriend spent a few years deprgrogramming me from my media-beauty nightmare life with the mentality you are talking about here. He would show me all the airbrushing and illusions when I could not see through the glamour.

At least you were open-minded enough to be taught to see through it all. Kudos to you! Now can you introduce your boyfriend to my sister, because no matter what I say, she follows the media princesses to the point of self-destruction! Unless you can separate society and media from reality, you're lost in that fake and superficial world...like my sister. I think it's great that you taught your kids to see through it all, they're way ahead of their peers!

Cosmo · February 2007

angelica wrote:

Oh I know....I think this is the first time I've seen/heard the word "turgid" being used, much less in a sentence. And after looking it up, I'm laughing hysterically! But yeah, I totally know all that. (the shadown cast...lol!)

...
See... that's how I overcome my average looks and average sized penis... I make 'em laugh. My basic creedo is this... "Make 'em laugh in the evening... make 'em breakfast the next morning."

ThumbingMyWay32 · February 2007

angelica wrote:

I love it when you drop in the conversation about objectifying women to objectify women. It makes me harken back to the days when you were mentally undressing me in the thread about mental rape. Oh wait, maybe you're just minimizing my feelings....

...oh well, though, as long as I can call you Sunshine!

No, I realized how ugly hollywood actually is after I bought an HDTV.

what social causes are your thing?

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