Apologies

mammasan
mammasan Posts: 5,656
edited September 2006 in A Moving Train
I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

Thank you,

Brian
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
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Comments

  • RockinInCanada
    RockinInCanada Posts: 2,016
    mammasan wrote:
    I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

    Thank you,

    Brian


    Brian the first step is the biggest and hardest....good for you to get yourself to this point of getting help....keep strong and things can be healed....take care of yourself....
  • even flow?
    even flow? Posts: 8,066
    No need to apoligize my man. Everybody has demons they need to deal with. I hope you are getting the proper help and can come back here with no weight of lies on your being and can be yourself and share in the good times and discussions once again.


    Power to ya Brian!! Power to ya!
    You've changed your place in this world!
  • NMyTree
    NMyTree Posts: 2,374
    mammasan wrote:
    I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

    Thank you,

    Brian

    Best wishes to you and your family!

    Stay strong and focus.

    And yeah, you have nothing to apologise for.
  • Pickr
    Pickr Posts: 161
    Good luck...Gambling is a hard thing to deal with, sounds like your taking the right steps..But you owe no apologies to anyone other than your family...

    Take care
    Stix and Stones may break my bones, but More than Words will never hurt me.
  • blackredyellow
    blackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    You know what you have to do, and from the sounds of it, you are heading in the right direction. You screwed up, but we all screw up one way or another in life, the important thing is that you realized it before it's too late. Stay strong and keep working. Best of luck...
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • farfromglorified
    farfromglorified Posts: 5,701
    Brian,

    Be well. Best wishes on your road to peace with yourself.

    -Jeff
  • chopitdown
    chopitdown Posts: 2,222
    Brian,

    Good luck with everything and it takes a man to step up and admit the faults and to deal with them. Take care and I hope it works out for you and your family!
    make sure the fortune that you seek...is the fortune that you need
  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,390
    Good luck, Brian!
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • jeffbr
    jeffbr Seattle Posts: 7,177
    I wish you well, Brian. I'm glad you're doing the right things for yourself and your family. Good luck.

    Jeff
    "I'll use the magic word - let's just shut the fuck up, please." EV, 04/13/08
  • inmytree
    inmytree Posts: 4,741
    be well, my friend...as others have mentioned, no need to apologize...you focus on you, and once you are where you want to be, everything else will fall into place...stay strong and stay focused...
  • jlew24asu
    jlew24asu Posts: 10,118
    be strong. you made a great first step. My guess is you'll be fine, your on the right track. take care
  • PaperPlates
    PaperPlates Posts: 1,745
    Good luck to you. You've done more for you family already by realizing the problem than many out there ever will. Be well.
    Why go home

    www.myspace.com/jensvad
  • hippiemom
    hippiemom Posts: 3,326
    Brian, I was just thinking about you and wondering where you've been lately.

    There's no need to apologize to us. Like a couple people have said already, we all have our own shit to deal with. I'm so glad you're dealing with this and that your family is together. Good luck with everything, and come back to us soon, we miss you.
    "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
  • binauralsounds
    binauralsounds Posts: 1,357
    mammasan wrote:
    I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

    Thank you,

    Brian

    I know I'm violoating my self imposed ban from the train, but I can't let this one go without chiming in!

    Brian, it takes a BIG MAN to be honest!! And you my friend have accomplished that!! No need to apologize friend! I wish you well, and all will work out in the end!!!!!! Our thoughts and prayers are with you!

    Godspeed!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • El_Kabong
    El_Kabong Posts: 4,141
    mammasan wrote:
    I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

    Thank you,

    Brian


    i forgot ewho said it but; "I'd rather be a hypocrit than wrong my whole life"

    at least you are doing something about it.

    good luck
    standin above the crowd
    he had a voice that was strong and loud and
    i swallowed his facade cos i'm so
    eager to identify with
    someone above the crowd
    someone who seemed to feel the same
    someone prepared to lead the way
  • Collin
    Collin Posts: 4,931
    No need to apologize, you just took a big and very hard step, good luck, man!
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • meme
    meme Posts: 4,695
    Good luck to you :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • jlew24asu
    jlew24asu Posts: 10,118
    I know everyone means well but is "good luck" the best thing to say to a gambling addict?
  • lamperti77
    lamperti77 Posts: 365
    Best of luck to you and your family. Hope to see you back soon. Your family is much more important the the jamily. Stay focused. You have already taken the first step. Keep your head up!
    I'll scream my lungs out...'til I fill this thread!
  • _Crazy_Mary_
    _Crazy_Mary_ Posts: 1,299
    mammasan,
    wow. I think I remember you mentioned a few months ago things weren't all sunshine and butterflies, but I had no idea. Still, I don't think you are a dead-beat dad. You talk about your boys all the time and you are a part of their life. I hope it all works out for you. I'm curious, though, were you gambling online, in a casino or privately?
    I really screwed that up. I really Schruted it.

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