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Apologies

mammasanmammasan Posts: 5,656
edited September 2006 in A Moving Train
I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

Thank you,

Brian
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
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Comments

  • RockinInCanadaRockinInCanada Posts: 2,016
    mammasan wrote:
    I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

    Thank you,

    Brian


    Brian the first step is the biggest and hardest....good for you to get yourself to this point of getting help....keep strong and things can be healed....take care of yourself....
  • even flow?even flow? Posts: 8,066
    No need to apoligize my man. Everybody has demons they need to deal with. I hope you are getting the proper help and can come back here with no weight of lies on your being and can be yourself and share in the good times and discussions once again.


    Power to ya Brian!! Power to ya!
    You've changed your place in this world!
  • NMyTreeNMyTree Posts: 2,374
    mammasan wrote:
    I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

    Thank you,

    Brian

    Best wishes to you and your family!

    Stay strong and focus.

    And yeah, you have nothing to apologise for.
  • PickrPickr Posts: 161
    Good luck...Gambling is a hard thing to deal with, sounds like your taking the right steps..But you owe no apologies to anyone other than your family...

    Take care
    Stix and Stones may break my bones, but More than Words will never hurt me.
  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    You know what you have to do, and from the sounds of it, you are heading in the right direction. You screwed up, but we all screw up one way or another in life, the important thing is that you realized it before it's too late. Stay strong and keep working. Best of luck...
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • farfromglorifiedfarfromglorified Posts: 5,696
    Brian,

    Be well. Best wishes on your road to peace with yourself.

    -Jeff
  • chopitdownchopitdown Posts: 2,222
    Brian,

    Good luck with everything and it takes a man to step up and admit the faults and to deal with them. Take care and I hope it works out for you and your family!
    make sure the fortune that you seek...is the fortune that you need
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Posts: 7,265
    Good luck, Brian!
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • jeffbrjeffbr Posts: 7,177
    I wish you well, Brian. I'm glad you're doing the right things for yourself and your family. Good luck.

    Jeff
    "I'll use the magic word - let's just shut the fuck up, please." EV, 04/13/08
  • inmytreeinmytree Posts: 4,741
    be well, my friend...as others have mentioned, no need to apologize...you focus on you, and once you are where you want to be, everything else will fall into place...stay strong and stay focused...
  • jlew24asujlew24asu Posts: 10,118
    be strong. you made a great first step. My guess is you'll be fine, your on the right track. take care
  • PaperPlatesPaperPlates Posts: 1,745
    Good luck to you. You've done more for you family already by realizing the problem than many out there ever will. Be well.
    Why go home

    www.myspace.com/jensvad
  • hippiemomhippiemom Posts: 3,326
    Brian, I was just thinking about you and wondering where you've been lately.

    There's no need to apologize to us. Like a couple people have said already, we all have our own shit to deal with. I'm so glad you're dealing with this and that your family is together. Good luck with everything, and come back to us soon, we miss you.
    "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
  • binauralsoundsbinauralsounds Posts: 1,357
    mammasan wrote:
    I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

    Thank you,

    Brian

    I know I'm violoating my self imposed ban from the train, but I can't let this one go without chiming in!

    Brian, it takes a BIG MAN to be honest!! And you my friend have accomplished that!! No need to apologize friend! I wish you well, and all will work out in the end!!!!!! Our thoughts and prayers are with you!

    Godspeed!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • El_KabongEl_Kabong Posts: 4,141
    mammasan wrote:
    I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

    Thank you,

    Brian


    i forgot ewho said it but; "I'd rather be a hypocrit than wrong my whole life"

    at least you are doing something about it.

    good luck
    standin above the crowd
    he had a voice that was strong and loud and
    i swallowed his facade cos i'm so
    eager to identify with
    someone above the crowd
    someone who seemed to feel the same
    someone prepared to lead the way
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    No need to apologize, you just took a big and very hard step, good luck, man!
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • memememe Posts: 4,695
    Good luck to you :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • jlew24asujlew24asu Posts: 10,118
    I know everyone means well but is "good luck" the best thing to say to a gambling addict?
  • lamperti77lamperti77 Posts: 365
    Best of luck to you and your family. Hope to see you back soon. Your family is much more important the the jamily. Stay focused. You have already taken the first step. Keep your head up!
    I'll scream my lungs out...'til I fill this thread!
  • _Crazy_Mary__Crazy_Mary_ Posts: 1,299
    mammasan,
    wow. I think I remember you mentioned a few months ago things weren't all sunshine and butterflies, but I had no idea. Still, I don't think you are a dead-beat dad. You talk about your boys all the time and you are a part of their life. I hope it all works out for you. I'm curious, though, were you gambling online, in a casino or privately?
    I really screwed that up. I really Schruted it.
  • rebornFixerrebornFixer Posts: 4,901
    Thanks for sharing that with us, Brian. I agree with what others have said. It takes a remarkable amount of courage and insight to admit to one's problems (and we ALL have problems). Please keep us posted.
    You can also PM me if you need anything (encouragement, advice, someone to listen, etc.).

    Good luck!
  • rebornFixerrebornFixer Posts: 4,901
    And I agree ... You don't sound like a deadbeat dad.
  • even flow?even flow? Posts: 8,066
    jlew24asu wrote:
    I know everyone means well but is "good luck" the best thing to say to a gambling addict?


    Better than saying, "the Jets with points".
    You've changed your place in this world!
  • Boom The CatBoom The Cat Posts: 482
    Brian, when you are over with your gambling addiction (That we all know you are capable of overcoming) you will realise that telling the truth has lifted an un nessecary burden.

    Having an addiction to anything is almost like lying to yourself, so if you can conquer lying, you can easily curb your gambling addiction.

    Good luck, if you are ready to change, you will.
    no matter where you go,
    there you are.

    - brain of c
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    Stay strong, Brian. With this apology you have taken a step toward being a better human being.
  • macgyver06macgyver06 Posts: 2,500
    mammasan wrote:
    I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

    Thank you,

    Brian

    i bet ya it all helps
  • Staceb10Staceb10 Posts: 675
    Wow.. I applaud you for posting this and taking the steps to help you and your family. I can relate to the problems addictions, be it gambling or anything else, can create and its great you are stepping up and taking control. Take care of yourself and stay strong. Our thoughts are with you.

    Stacy
  • moeaholicmoeaholic Posts: 535
    macgyver06 wrote:
    i bet ya it all helps

    don't tempt him. lol, that's mean.

    gambling sucks ass, man. i could never understand how someone could just keep betting on shit when they're losing more than winning. i went through a bookie once and lost. that's all it took for me. no more betting like that. i'll still do the boards and shit like that at work, but we're talking a couple bucks a square. anyway, hope it all turns out ok for you. takes guts to tell people you lied, even if it is just a message board. and even though i also don't think you owe anyone here an apology, i'll still accept it.
    "PC Load Letter?! What the fuck does that mean?"
    ~Michael Bolton
  • BeBeBeBe Posts: 229
    Brian,
    Your wife is lucky to have someone admit to their mistakes and to take control of them and change them. Wish everyone did just that.

    Hugs to you my friend. Keep us posted.
    Where is Lowlight?
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    mammasan wrote:
    I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.

    Thank you,

    Brian
    wow dude,im so sorry to hear this.u were one of very few i respected on the MT,i still do.get better quickly, we will miss ya
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

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