I have been wondering where you've been. Your reasonable and intelligent posts have been sorely missed.
It was very bold of you to come here and post what you did. You are human just like all of us. No need to apologize because everyone of us here preaches a bit more than what we can live up to. I hope you and your family find some peace and healing in the near future.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.
Thank you,
Brian
No need to feel guilt dude, everyone has it, and it all manifests. The fact that you generated this thread proves you're pretty fuckin cool....and that's good enough for me
And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
It takes a lot of inner strength to confront the obstacles you're dealing with right now. If you ever need anything, just send me a PM. Nothing can ever strip you of the person you are on the inside. The addiction can't take the love you have for your family, nor does it make you any less of a person. We all struggle, and in dealing with the struggle you will eventually come out a better person on the other end. It will take time and patience, but you're a man of moral character that I know will make it through to a place of healing surrounded by those who love you.
You have my thoughts and prayers.
Your friend,
Shawn
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I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.
Thank you,
Brian
Congratulations on owning up to some of your faults. Don't be so hard on yourself either. I feel that we are all hypocrits in one way or another. Its hard to keep every aspect of your life in simple moderation---we all are, afterall, only human. nobody's perfect----yada yada yada and all that. Good luck with everything!
its ok, there are worst addictions... losing money doesnt mean you are a bad father.... its just money... The Beatles said it best when they sang "Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice in the...." no wait... it wasnt that one.... eh... "'Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love"
its just money... you'll come through and be stronger as a result!
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
There's not a league table for addictions!!
I speak from experience, though not a gambler. The compulsive need is the same whatever the substance/thing.
There's not a league table for addictions!!
I speak from experience, though not a gambler. The compulsive need is the same whatever the substance/thing.
Anyway... best wishes with your recovery Brian.
yeah but there is differing levels of emotional damage involved
i.e. Brian is addicted to gambling, which is bad enough as he is wasting money.... but at least he isnt addicted to heroin and is robbing his family of valuables to pay for his addiction and perhaps robbing his kids of having a dad in the future!!
its not a debilitating addiction such as drugs or alcohol... in my opinion gambling addiction is not as bad as these.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
You obviously don't suffer any addictions yourself which I'm glad about.
But in my opinion, gambling is as bad and as debilitating as any other addiction. The source of the addiction is straightfoward enough to deal with, i.e. alcoholics stop drinking, gamblers stop gambling, but the fundamental problem is the need to escape from reality.
You obviously don't suffer any addictions yourself which I'm glad about.
But in my opinion, gambling is as bad and as debilitating as any other addiction. The source of the addiction is straightfoward enough to deal with, i.e. alcoholics stop drinking, gamblers stop gambling, but the fundamental problem is the need to escape from reality.
nobodies arguing the fundamental issues here of any addiction... but comparing someone who is addicted to heroin and someone addicted to gambling is a moot point...
I'm saying the emotional damage caused by having a gambling addiction is considerably less than say someone who is addicted to paying prostitutes for sex.
Heroin addiction ruins lives completely... i.e. we have a guy in our home town... used to be a bank manager or accountant or something... he got into drugs, his family (he had 2 wee kids) had to ask him to leave it was that bad... his own mother ten forced him out as he was stealing from her (obviously he had now lost his job) ... he became homeless and was once arrested in the towns local toilets for eating a seagull (roadkill) raw!!!!! he had dropped that low... eating a fucking dead seagull!!! he is now dead... he died when he was in his late 40's
now.. on Radio2 only last week or so there was an in-depth piece on gambling addiction... the head of GA (Gambling Anonymous) was on and even he said that gambling addiction was something that was easier to conquer than drug/booze addiction as there was no chemical dependancy on gambling... it was a mental state of quitting required rather than both metal and physical states being required to quit drugs/booze!!
in this very same interview a mum came on telling a story about her son coming to her aged 24 and bursting into tears.. he told her he was in big trouble and that he needed help.. she kept asking "what is it.. police, drugs, rape, etc" and when he replied "i'm a gambling addict" she said her response was "thank god its only that"... her relief was completely apparent.. it wasnt drugs or booze, which would require a chemical dependancy... it was in her own words "just money"
I'm not suggesting gambling isnt a bonafide addiction and that it doesnt affect families and people very badly.... but it doesnt hurt people as badly as chemical dependant addictions do such as heroin, cocaine, drink, etc... this is fact. The lastest Social Work studies in Scotland showed a high precentage increase in the number of children being affected/abused in the home had parents who had one or other form of drug addiction.... i'm pretty sure that men/women with gambling addictions are still pretty cohesive parents... and that the gambling addiction isn't a violent addiction to be in.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
I'm saying the emotional damage caused by having a gambling addiction is considerably less than say someone who is addicted to paying prostitutes for sex.
So if you gambled your home away and you and your family were on the streets, you would still rather have slept with a prostitute??
Although gambling does not produce the cognitive or physical impairment associated with alcohol or drug abuse, an obsession with gambling can be just as devastating. Compulsive gambling can destroy social, personal and occupational or educational performance.
Compulsive gambling is considered a form of addiction. The term addiction is usually reserved to explain a compulsive attraction or pathological attachment to a substance, normally a drug. However, we now recognize that some behaviors can be addicting, such as eating, sex and gambling. All addiction is characterized by loss of control, preoccupation, compulsivity, narrowing of interests, dishonesty, guilt and chronic relapse.
Addictions to behavioral processes are called process addictions. The process of engaging in these behaviors leads to typical addiction symptoms (withdrawal, tolerance, heightened excitement or euphoria).
Process addictions are more common among children of alcoholics or addicts, recovering alcoholics or addicts, or current alcoholics or addicts. Like other addictions, in many cases there are no correlations with high risk situations or history -- it just happens.
When people describe their subjective experience related to gambling or other process addictions, their stories are qualitatively similar to users descriptions of their drug addictions. Compulsive gamblers indicate that they seek being in action, referring to the "high" or euphoric state associated with the act of gambling. Gamblers also describe the anticipated high or "rush" prior to being in action.
The description of these aroused states is remarkably similar to that described by cocaine addicts.
***
Anyway, I'm pretty sure our man here hasn't resorted to eating seagulls :eek:.
I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.
I'm writing this thread for one simple reason and that is to apologize to everyone for being a fake. I have always posted on here about how much I love my kids and my wife and attempted to portray myself as some type of Ward Cleaver when in reality I am no better than a dead beat dad. For several years I have been in the grip of a gambling addiction and it has not been untill recently that I have come to terms with my addiction and sought help. I have been a huge fucking hypocrit because while I spoke of family and helping the less fortunate I was gambling my families money away. While I spoke ill of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions I was avoiding taking responsibility for my actions. I apologize for my lies and deceit.I will not be posting much because I have very little free time now. Between 2 jobs, Gamblers Annonymous meetings, marriage counceling, and one on one therapy what little free time I have is for my family. I will be back though as soon as I have progressed further along in my recovery.
Thank you,
Brian
Brian.... apologies? I hope you're kidding. This proves once more what a great fellow we have here. Sorry to hear you have or had such a problem, but first of all you don't owe us anything, second, I am very happy if you had the balls to deal with it and get over, this should make you proud.
I wish you all good and please stay with us when you can.
Love, Eva
I wanted to thank you all for all of your words of encouragement, they truely mean a lot to me. I'm determined to beat this thing and come out a better stronger person. Once again thank you all.
Brian
"When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
Comments
It was very bold of you to come here and post what you did. You are human just like all of us. No need to apologize because everyone of us here preaches a bit more than what we can live up to. I hope you and your family find some peace and healing in the near future.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
No need to feel guilt dude, everyone has it, and it all manifests. The fact that you generated this thread proves you're pretty fuckin cool....and that's good enough for me
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Follow the words in present tense
So when you look at it, you not only do not need to apologise, we should be the ones who stands in awe of you.
Very few people are able to dust themselves off like you are doing, I think it's very cool.
It takes a lot of inner strength to confront the obstacles you're dealing with right now. If you ever need anything, just send me a PM. Nothing can ever strip you of the person you are on the inside. The addiction can't take the love you have for your family, nor does it make you any less of a person. We all struggle, and in dealing with the struggle you will eventually come out a better person on the other end. It will take time and patience, but you're a man of moral character that I know will make it through to a place of healing surrounded by those who love you.
You have my thoughts and prayers.
Your friend,
Shawn
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Low Traffic CIO MIW
Non Traffic ABC BAY FDU GBZ HNC NDP OEM ROV TMS ZWL
Congratulations on owning up to some of your faults. Don't be so hard on yourself either. I feel that we are all hypocrits in one way or another. Its hard to keep every aspect of your life in simple moderation---we all are, afterall, only human.
its ok, there are worst addictions... losing money doesnt mean you are a bad father.... its just money... The Beatles said it best when they sang "Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice in the...." no wait... it wasnt that one.... eh... "'Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love"
its just money... you'll come through and be stronger as a result!
There's not a league table for addictions!!
I speak from experience, though not a gambler. The compulsive need is the same whatever the substance/thing.
Anyway... best wishes with your recovery Brian.
yeah but there is differing levels of emotional damage involved
i.e. Brian is addicted to gambling, which is bad enough as he is wasting money.... but at least he isnt addicted to heroin and is robbing his family of valuables to pay for his addiction and perhaps robbing his kids of having a dad in the future!!
its not a debilitating addiction such as drugs or alcohol... in my opinion gambling addiction is not as bad as these.
You obviously don't suffer any addictions yourself which I'm glad about.
But in my opinion, gambling is as bad and as debilitating as any other addiction. The source of the addiction is straightfoward enough to deal with, i.e. alcoholics stop drinking, gamblers stop gambling, but the fundamental problem is the need to escape from reality.
nobodies arguing the fundamental issues here of any addiction... but comparing someone who is addicted to heroin and someone addicted to gambling is a moot point...
I'm saying the emotional damage caused by having a gambling addiction is considerably less than say someone who is addicted to paying prostitutes for sex.
Heroin addiction ruins lives completely... i.e. we have a guy in our home town... used to be a bank manager or accountant or something... he got into drugs, his family (he had 2 wee kids) had to ask him to leave it was that bad... his own mother ten forced him out as he was stealing from her (obviously he had now lost his job) ... he became homeless and was once arrested in the towns local toilets for eating a seagull (roadkill) raw!!!!! he had dropped that low... eating a fucking dead seagull!!! he is now dead... he died when he was in his late 40's
now.. on Radio2 only last week or so there was an in-depth piece on gambling addiction... the head of GA (Gambling Anonymous) was on and even he said that gambling addiction was something that was easier to conquer than drug/booze addiction as there was no chemical dependancy on gambling... it was a mental state of quitting required rather than both metal and physical states being required to quit drugs/booze!!
in this very same interview a mum came on telling a story about her son coming to her aged 24 and bursting into tears.. he told her he was in big trouble and that he needed help.. she kept asking "what is it.. police, drugs, rape, etc" and when he replied "i'm a gambling addict" she said her response was "thank god its only that"... her relief was completely apparent.. it wasnt drugs or booze, which would require a chemical dependancy... it was in her own words "just money"
I'm not suggesting gambling isnt a bonafide addiction and that it doesnt affect families and people very badly.... but it doesnt hurt people as badly as chemical dependant addictions do such as heroin, cocaine, drink, etc... this is fact. The lastest Social Work studies in Scotland showed a high precentage increase in the number of children being affected/abused in the home had parents who had one or other form of drug addiction.... i'm pretty sure that men/women with gambling addictions are still pretty cohesive parents... and that the gambling addiction isn't a violent addiction to be in.
So if you gambled your home away and you and your family were on the streets, you would still rather have slept with a prostitute??
But so does gambling.
Excerpt from study by Scott Teitelbaum, M.D:
Although gambling does not produce the cognitive or physical impairment associated with alcohol or drug abuse, an obsession with gambling can be just as devastating. Compulsive gambling can destroy social, personal and occupational or educational performance.
Compulsive gambling is considered a form of addiction. The term addiction is usually reserved to explain a compulsive attraction or pathological attachment to a substance, normally a drug. However, we now recognize that some behaviors can be addicting, such as eating, sex and gambling. All addiction is characterized by loss of control, preoccupation, compulsivity, narrowing of interests, dishonesty, guilt and chronic relapse.
Addictions to behavioral processes are called process addictions. The process of engaging in these behaviors leads to typical addiction symptoms (withdrawal, tolerance, heightened excitement or euphoria).
Process addictions are more common among children of alcoholics or addicts, recovering alcoholics or addicts, or current alcoholics or addicts. Like other addictions, in many cases there are no correlations with high risk situations or history -- it just happens.
When people describe their subjective experience related to gambling or other process addictions, their stories are qualitatively similar to users descriptions of their drug addictions. Compulsive gamblers indicate that they seek being in action, referring to the "high" or euphoric state associated with the act of gambling. Gamblers also describe the anticipated high or "rush" prior to being in action.
The description of these aroused states is remarkably similar to that described by cocaine addicts.
***
Anyway, I'm pretty sure our man here hasn't resorted to eating seagulls :eek:.
Stay focused man and realize your friends here at the pit will be there for you.
Congrats on taking the first step towards recovery.
Keep fightin' .....
You're right.
Best wishes to Brian.
*bows out graciously*
R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
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Brian.... apologies? I hope you're kidding. This proves once more what a great fellow we have here. Sorry to hear you have or had such a problem, but first of all you don't owe us anything, second, I am very happy if you had the balls to deal with it and get over, this should make you proud.
I wish you all good and please stay with us when you can.
Love, Eva
Brian