new group effort......

kdpjam
kdpjam Posts: 2,303
edited June 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
when he woke this morning, it felt like he had been sleeping for years;
lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
~it is shining it is shining~
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,390
    kdpjam wrote:
    when he woke this morning, it felt like he had been sleeping for years;
    stagnant air shoved from the ceiling fan sank in his throat
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    Bibliobella wrote:
    stagnant air shoved from the ceiling fan sank in his throat

    an overcast day outside in which to make his way.
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,390
    kdpjam wrote:
    an overcast day outside in which to make his way.
    but, first, he had to wake up. This choice is a bad-tasting vitamin
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    Bibliobella wrote:
    but, first, he had to wake up. This choice is a bad-tasting vitamin

    and the coffee tasted better. he took his time.
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,390
    kdpjam wrote:
    and the coffee tasted better. he took his time.
    mesmerized by cloud formations he thinks of travel
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    Bibliobella wrote:
    mesmerized by cloud formations he thinks of travel

    the further away, his mind was close there
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    the further away, his mind is closer there.

    have to keep the tense!
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,390
    kdpjam wrote:
    the further away, his mind was close there
    his mind ran quickly home when his tie dipped in the toaster
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    Bibliobella wrote:
    his mind ran quickly home when his tie dipped in the toaster

    time to take off the tie that chokes. the walk-in closet just as cluttered as his thought; where is my suitcase anyway ? he pondered.
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,390
    He wakes feeling unsung years beneath his skin
    as the ceiling fan shoves stagnant air down his throat.
    An overcast day outside in which to make his way
    within which he chooses to wake. This choice is a bad-tasting vitamin
    and the coffee tastes better. He takes his time.
    Mesmorizing cloud formations fill his eyes with visions of travel
    the further away, his mind is closer there;
    his mind sprints quickly home when his tie dips in the toaster

    OK kdpjam, what do you think? I took some liberties, I hope you don't mind.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,390
    Bibliobella wrote:
    He wakes feeling unsung years beneath his skin
    as the ceiling fan shoves stagnant air down his throat.
    An overcast day outside in which to make his way
    within which he chooses to wake. This choice is a bad-tasting vitamin
    and the coffee tastes better. He takes his time.
    Mesmorizing cloud formations fill his eyes with visions of travel
    the further away, his mind is closer there;
    his mind sprints quickly home when his tie dips in the toaster

    OK kdpjam, what do you think? I took some liberties, I hope you don't mind.
    He wakes feeling unsung years beneath his skin
    as the ceiling fan shoves stagnant air down his throat.
    An overcast day outside in which to make his way
    within which he chooses to wake. This choice is a bad-tasting vitamin
    and the coffee tastes better. He takes his time.
    Mesmorizing cloud formations fill his eyes with visions of travel
    the further away, his mind is closer there;
    his mind sprints quickly home when his tie dips in the toaster.
    Time to take off the tie that chokes. The walk-in closet just as cluttered as his thought; where is my suitcase anyway? He ponders
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    Bibliobella wrote:
    He wakes feeling unsung years beneath his skin
    as the ceiling fan shoves stagnant air down his throat.
    An overcast day outside in which to make his way
    within which he chooses to wake. This choice is a bad-tasting vitamin
    and the coffee tastes better. He takes his time.
    Mesmorizing cloud formations fill his eyes with visions of travel
    the further away, his mind is closer there;
    his mind sprints quickly home when his tie dips in the toaster

    OK kdpjam, what do you think? I took some liberties, I hope you don't mind.


    i really like it bib.... its great ;) thanks for making it better~
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,390
    kdpjam wrote:
    i really like it bib.... its great ;) thanks for making it better~
    It's still your turn . . . or anyone else who wants to participate.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    Bibliobella wrote:
    He wakes feeling unsung years beneath his skin
    as the ceiling fan shoves stagnant air down his throat.
    An overcast day outside in which to make his way
    within which he chooses to wake. This choice is a bad-tasting vitamin
    and the coffee tastes better. He takes his time.
    Mesmorizing cloud formations fill his eyes with visions of travel
    the further away, his mind is closer there;
    his mind sprints quickly home when his tie dips in the toaster.
    Time to take off the tie that chokes. The walk-in closet just as cluttered as his thought; where is my suitcase anyway? He ponders
    and what do i do when i find it? his heart sank.
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • Ms. Haiku
    Ms. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,390
    kdpjam wrote:
    and what do i do when i find it? his heart sank.
    Careless with our hero's heart a mouse ran across the kitchen floor.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    Bibliobella wrote:
    Careless with our hero's heart a mouse ran across the kitchen floor.

    the weary day was awakening now;
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • Ali
    Ali Posts: 2,621
    With new thoughts
    and new reflections
    he chose another different way to live his life.
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    Ali wrote:
    With new thoughts
    and new reflections
    he chose another different way to live his life.

    a life in which he wanted to face his days; no more sleeping for what seemed an eternity
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • Ali
    Ali Posts: 2,621
    kdpjam wrote:
    a life in which he wanted to face his days; no more sleeping for what seemed an eternity

    And no more of an eternity to lay sleeping
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    great! here is what we have so far:

    He wakes feeling unsung years beneath his skin
    as the ceiling fan shoves stagnant air down his throat.
    An overcast day outside in which to make his way~
    within which he chooses to wake. This choice is a bad-tasting vitamin
    and the coffee tastes better. He takes his time.
    Mesmorizing cloud formations fill his eyes with visions of travel
    the further away, his mind is closer there.
    his mind sprints quickly home when his tie dips in the toaster.
    Time to take off the tie that chokes. The walk-in closet just as cluttered as his thought; where is my suitcase anyway? He ponders~
    and what do i do when i find it? his heart sank.

    Careless with our hero's heart,
    a mouse ran across the kitchen floor.
    The weary day was awakening now!
    With new thoughts and new reflections he chooses another
    different way to live his life.
    A life in which he wanted to face his days; no more
    sleeping for what seemed an eternity~
    and no more of an an eternity to lay sleeping.
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~

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