new group effort......

kdpjam

kdpjam wrote:

great! here is what we have so far: i changed some stuff to help it flow....

He wakes feeling unsung years beneath his skin
as the ceiling fan shoves stagnant air down his throat.
An overcast day outside in which to make his way~
within which he chooses to wake. This choice is a bad-tasting vitamin
and the coffee tastes better. He takes his time.
Mesmorizing cloud formations fill his eyes with visions of travel
the further away, his mind is closer there.
his mind sprints quickly home as the shrill sound of a siren in the distance.
The walk-in closet just as cluttered as his thought; where is my suitcase anyway? He ponders~
and what do i do when i find it? his heart sank.

A blur of thoughts, as
a cool breeze lifts the curtains away from the sill
the smell of rain in the air.
The weary day awakens slowly.
With new ideas and new reflections he will change the course
of his life. and where it goes.
A life in which he wants to face his days; no more
sleeping for what seems an eternity~
and no more of an an eternity to lay sleeping.

ok, any ideas ? or should this end here???