Write the next line in this poem!

13»

Comments

  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    and then debacle symphony of heaven's clamour
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • grooveamatic
    grooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Fins...could you post the current poem in it's current state again please? (I kinda consider this your poem since you started it...)
    .........................................................................
  • christmascleanlove
    christmascleanlove Posts: 21
    ISN wrote:
    and then debacle symphony of heaven's clamour

    And at it's feet I lied. I spent things. I died.
    i can still bite my toenails.
  • grooveamatic
    grooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    christmascleanlove wrote:
    And at it's feet I lied. I spent things. I died.

    I love this! Looks like a good last line to me. Finsbury...what sayest thou?
    .........................................................................
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Nah, it's everyone's poem. I only wrote a couple of lines. Hang on while I stitch it together.

    Bloodblack bog pools, throating mountain rain.
    A quick relief, sodden grief, this elixir for pain.
    Astride a hill, my boots agree sitting is enough;
    too high to conquer, too harder shell to tunnel.

    Surrender to me your insides, o quartzblue rising crags,
    inner mystery vista'd: My baggage heavy,
    but I see the light screaming and blaring
    horrific possessions through the heavens strings,
    a tunnel visioned soul seeking a higher power.

    A coin flipped: the promise made; the promise
    only I could betray. For you, I say I'm confused:
    I reveal a weakness unused. A weakness of strength,
    a vibrato crutch, the One I was when time's unused.
    And then debacle, symphony of heaven's clamour.
    And at its feet I lied. I spent things. I died.
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    I hope I didn't miss any lines out there. I'm not with it yet.
  • grooveamatic
    grooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    I dig it quite a bit.

    I didn't mean it was 'your' poem really, Finnsy...just that you were in charge of it. :)
    .........................................................................
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    i like it! i wish i would have contributed more. i'm up for doing another collaberative poem in the near future.
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • Anna_falk
    Anna_falk Posts: 114
    Cool poem, seems advanced to me :)
    To worry about tomorrow doesn't make it easier,
    it only makes today worse.
  • grooveamatic
    grooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    kdpjam wrote:
    i like it! i wish i would have contributed more. i'm up for doing another collaberative poem in the near future.

    Give us a first line! We'll do another one right now....
    .........................................................................
  • shiftlesslayabout
    shiftlesslayabout Posts: 20
    What does she grow in her garden? Vegetables? Flowers? You could title it something she grows, ie "Tomatoes" or "Hyacinth"
  • shiftlesslayabout
    shiftlesslayabout Posts: 20
    shiftlesslayabout wrote:
    What does she grow in her garden? Vegetables? Flowers? You could title it something she grows, ie "Tomatoes" or "Hyacinth"

    wrong thread, sorry....
  • kdpjam
    kdpjam Posts: 2,303
    ok, that threw me off a bit... i thought i was responsible for a poem about vegetables.. now to re-focus ;)
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • IfGoingRightIsWrong
    IfGoingRightIsWrong Posts: 18
    The Indifferent One wrote:

    The theives they dont stop, death, destroying,

    (the theives of cars and hearts and large grand things)
    If going right is wrong, I don't wanna go right!
  • shiftlesslayabout
    shiftlesslayabout Posts: 20
    The Indifferent One wrote:
    They take from peoples loved ones with signatures of their own.

    Signatures owned; handwriting stolen. There is no doubt.

Categories