Eating in a Restaurant - from a Waitress

_Crazy_Mary_

This is just a quick rant that I have to get off my chest and maybe it'll enlighten those of you who do this:

When you go out to eat and you're not satisfied with your meal, speak up when the waiter asks you how your meal is! You're paying for this dish and it better be exactly how you like it!

On Friday night, I talked this young mother into ordering the flatiron. Then when I asked her how her steak was, she just looked at me, did a little shrug and nod and said, "it's ok." I could tell from her body language that it wasn't "ok." This response pisses me off like nothing else! Tell me if you have a problem with your fucking meal! This is your chance to fix it, that's why I'm asking!
So, I pushed and finally got it out of her that it was underdone, but she didn't want to send it back, she said she'd just eat around the rare parts and take the rest home. Whatever. She still tipped me 20% and I am there to make money, so it all worked out.

Kel Varnsen

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

This is just a quick rant that I have to get off my chest and maybe it'll enlighten those of you who do this:

When you go out to eat and you're not satisfied with your meal, speak up when the waiter asks you how your meal is! You're paying for this dish and it better be exactly how you like it!

On Friday night, I talked this young mother into ordering the flatiron. Then when I asked her how her steak was, she just looked at me, did a little shrug and nod and said, "it's ok." I could tell from her body language that it wasn't "ok." This response pisses me off like nothing else! Tell me if you have a problem with your fucking meal! This is your chance to fix it, that's why I'm asking!
So, I pushed and finally got it out of her that it was underdone, but she didn't want to send it back, she said she'd just eat around the rare parts and take the rest home. Whatever. She still tipped me 20% and I am there to make money, so it all worked out.

Maybe it is because in a lot of places people think if you send something back, the cook is going to do something bad to your food.

joint in a tree

my favorite is when you check on them, they say it's fine, eat half or most of it, and then as you're clearing the plates, they say "ya know, this steak was fatty/undercooked/overcooked, etc".
my response, with a smile is usually "oh, you should have told me when i asked! i would have been glad to fix it for you!"
"Oh, well i didn't want to wait"
ok, well you still should have told me so i could send a manager over, who would have gladly taken it off the bill. at this point, with 2 oz of steak left on your plate, it's gonna be a bitch to convince my boss that you shouldn't have to pay for it! DUH!

ah, nice rant. thank you, Mary.

joint in a tree

Kel Varnsen wrote:

Maybe it is because in a lot of places people think if you send something back, the cook is going to do something bad to your food.

that doesn't really happen in real life, not in my 15+ years experience in restaurants. Maybe at McD's or something. Or maybe if you're really nasty. But a simple "Would you have this steak cooked up for me please?" will NOT result in that.

_Crazy_Mary_

Yeah, I've been working in restaurants for 17 years and have never witnessed a chef do something bad because food was sent back.

gobrowns19

I first off applaud you for being a waitress, haha. people act like they have a sense of entitlement, and i can only imagine it's so much worse with food.

jammergirl

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

Yeah, I've been working in restaurants for 17 years and have never witnessed a chef do something bad because food was sent back.

ha, I'm a waitress too, and this pisses me off also. i've never seen a chef take out their anger on someone's food if something was sent back. and i've worked from denny's to fine dining. people, don't be afraid to speak up!! we servers WANT you to enjoy your meal!

end rant.

intodeep

If it is okay, i rather just deal with it and not make a fuss about it. It is just easier that way. Instead of everyone else in my party having to wait for me to get my food again etc.
Plus if it is something minor about the way it was cooked everyoen has a bad day myself included so I'm not going to bust someone's balls for something minor.

If it is bad though as in not just a little over cooked or a little off then I'll say something.

_Crazy_Mary_

I do understand not wanting to wait for your meal while everyone already has theirs, but probably when the waiter asks you how your meal is you don't just nod and shrug and say a wimpy "it's ok..." That's the part that really pisses me off!


And on the other end like Joint in a Tree said, don't tell me it's ok, eat 80% of your meal and then at the end of your visit tell me it was terrible!

know1

I pretty much refuse to send anything back, though. I think there's a high probability someone in the kitchen or wait staff will do something to it. Maybe she feels the same way.

_Crazy_Mary_

know1 wrote:

I pretty much refuse to send anything back, though. I think there's a high probability someone in the kitchen or wait staff will do something to it. Maybe she feels the same way.

You're one of the most mild-mannered people on here. You're not an asshole. Why would you think somebody would do something to your food? Are you eating in sleazy places???

pjfan31

This is why we never send our meal back. Or complain or anything. Just nod and smile.

Coogee Bay Hotel in Sydney 'served human faeces in ice cream'

]SYDNEY eastern suburbs drinking hole the Coogee Bay Hotel is at the centre of a scandal involving the serving of human faecal matter in a bowl of ice cream, The Sunday Telegraph reports.

Queens Park builder Steve Whyte has conducted an independent laboratory test on a dessert spoon-sized amount of brown substance that was served in a bowl of ice cream to his wife and three children at the Coogee Bay's brasserie during a grand-final lunch on Sunday, October 5.

The family alleges hotel staff served them a large bowl of ice cream covering what looked like "compacted chocolate".

The laboratory report by the Federal Government's National Measurement Institute confirms that the matter served to the Whyte family - and partly consumed by Mr Whyte's wife, Jessica - "has an offensive odour and physical properties similar to human excreta ... and to contain fragments of a variety of plant matter typical of excreta".

NEWS.com.au, 2 Nov 2008 Hotel owner Chris Cheung and general manager Tony Williams have offered the Whytes $5000 without admitting liability, but the family has rejected the offer.

Mrs Whyte said the whole episode would have a lasting effect on her. She said she now struggled when wiping her youngest son's bottom and was anxious about eating out.

"The minute I put the spoon to my lips, the stench went through my nostrils. I retched and spat it into the napkin," she said.

"My friend thought I was over-reacting, but when she smelt it, she started screaming: 'Oh my god, they've served us s---."'

The family told the staff what had happened and immediately went to the Waverley police station, where they were advised it was a Health Department matter.

The Whytes took their boys Tom, eight, Thomas, seven, and Ben, three, to the hotel with another family after it was advertised as a family-friendly venue to watch the NRL grand final.

Mr Whyte has now employed law firm Slater&Gordon in a legal action against the management of the hotel who, he says, have demonstrated "arrogance and a complete lack of contrition" and, worse, accused the family of only being after money.

The Whytes say they are outraged that someone would serve human waste to children.

They allege the incident was deliberate and followed a trivial altercation with the hotel's management when Mr Whyte complained about not being able to properly watch the grand final as advertised - because the television screen was in another room - and bought ice creams for his children from another business.

"I don't care about money, although it's obvious to anyone the damage to a business from this sort of thing would be a significant amount," Mr Whyte told The Sunday Telegraph, which has inspected the remains and can confirm it to be consistent with human faecal matter.

The penalty for knowingly breaching NSW food laws include prosecutions with fines of up to $110,000 for individuals or imprisonment for two years or both, and $550,000 for corporations.

In a statement yesterday, Mr Williams accused the Whytes of making suspicious allegations.

"We are aware of the allegation that has been made, and are treating it as extremely suspicious," he said.

"The couple making the suspicious allegation have made a demand for up to $1 million from The Coogee Bay Hotel, which we believe borders on extortion."

The Whytes deny they are trying to extort money from the hotel.

"I just don't think they should be allowed to get away with it by trying to give us money," Mr Whyte said.

In a letter from the hotel to the Whytes, Mr Williams acknowledges that they "have made a serious complaint about being served with a gelato dessert contaminated with faecal matter".

Mr Williams also raises the possibility of "industrial sabotage" - with the hotel itself as much of a victim.

Mr Williams has met with the family several times, and on one occasion inspected the sample of waste for confirmation.

The Coogee Bay Hotel has long been marred in controversy for alcohol-related violence.

It has recently spent a large amount of money trying to change its image, including getting rid of the notorious Bra Boys and encouraging a more family-oriented atmosphere.

A spokeswoman for Primary Industries Minister Ian Macdonald said the family should contact the NSW Food Authority without delay so Mr McDonald could launch an investigation.

"This is an absolute disgrace. Food safety is our priority. Consumers deserve to get what they pay for, and that includes clean, safe food," she said.

joint in a tree

that is disgusting. the hotel should be fined, employees fired, and the hotel should be subject to an IN DEPTH board of health inspection.
BUT, it doesn't say they complained or sent food back. it could have just been a prank from some dumb kid employee.
i once worked at a supermarket where a kid on a dare peed in the pickle jug in the deli department. it wasn't targeted at anyone, just a dumb kid thing.
At that same job, some kids used to do whip hits in the back before whipped cream was stocked. then it would hit the shelves and be sold. (Always check the seal on your whipped cream!)
hey, we were 15 yrs old and making minimum wage!

but again, I've never seen anything like that in a restaurant.

joint in a tree

pjfan31 wrote:

The Whytes took their boys Tom, eight, Thomas, seven, and Ben, three, to the hotel ....

Really? Tom and Thomas? One year apart and you couldn't come up with another name?

CreedDisease

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

This is just a quick rant that I have to get off my chest and maybe it'll enlighten those of you who do this:

When you go out to eat and you're not satisfied with your meal, speak up when the waiter asks you how your meal is! You're paying for this dish and it better be exactly how you like it!

On Friday night, I talked this young mother into ordering the flatiron. Then when I asked her how her steak was, she just looked at me, did a little shrug and nod and said, "it's ok." I could tell from her body language that it wasn't "ok." This response pisses me off like nothing else! Tell me if you have a problem with your fucking meal! This is your chance to fix it, that's why I'm asking!
So, I pushed and finally got it out of her that it was underdone, but she didn't want to send it back, she said she'd just eat around the rare parts and take the rest home. Whatever. She still tipped me 20% and I am there to make money, so it all worked out.

hmmmm..... I've done exactly what you describe...I was just trying not to be a pain in the ass... I seldom complain about anything (I know, I'm on the wrong board). So even though the food might not be perfect, I'm still not unhappy eating it... I real like your attitude in having your customer enjoy their dinner. Unfortunately, I do not believe that all waitstaffs share your sentiment. I also believe there is a fine line between politefully sending something back and been a pain in the ass... And I think if everyone sent their food back, this post would be "why can't people quit bitching and eat their food"...I don't know, I'm babbling

JaneNY

Sometimes I don't feel like saying anything. Sometimes making a complaint is more stressful than not doing it.

DinghyDog

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dunkman

i've been told about 1894 times on this forum that if i dont tip then the chef will spit into my food next time and all that shit..

that's one reason i wouldnt complain.


the other is that some waitresses/waiters usually have the facial expression of a warthog licking piss off a cactus... so i feel like i'm inconveniencing them... which is why i dont tip them.

:P

_Crazy_Mary_

DinghyDog wrote:

no offence, but if they bitched about their undercooked steak, would you have come on here complaining about the whining bitch you had to serve today?

There's a big difference between bitching & just being honest when I ask you how your meal is. And yes, if she had been a whining bitch I probably would've complained about her! hahaha

_Crazy_Mary_

dunkman wrote:

i've been told about 1894 times on this forum that if i dont tip then the chef will spit into my food next time and all that shit..

that's one reason i wouldnt complain.


the other is that some waitresses/waiters usually have the facial expression of a warthog licking piss off a cactus... so i feel like i'm inconveniencing them... which is why i dont tip them.

:P

it's customary for you not to tip. We know that. I waited on some foreigners on Sunday night and I knew as soon as they spoke that I'd be lucky to get 10%. I must've really wooed them because they gave me $10 on $90. woo-hoo!

lephty

as a diner, i am not picky. if i ask for medium and it comes back otherwise, i really don't care. as long as everything is edible, i have no complaints.

one thing i notice though, sometimes servers come to the table to ask how things are WAY to early. so maybe the waiters/waitresses in this thread that are saying "speak up about your food" might be jumping the gun on asking how things are?

honestly, i am amazed that the servers in this thread have never seen anything happen to anyones food after it was sent back. i guess i watch too many of those "shocking video" shows and even though it may not happen at the places you work at, it does still happen and that is what sticks in the back of everyones mind when they think about complaining.

know1

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

know1 wrote:

I pretty much refuse to send anything back, though. I think there's a high probability someone in the kitchen or wait staff will do something to it. Maybe she feels the same way.

You're one of the most mild-mannered people on here. You're not an asshole. Why would you think somebody would do something to your food? Are you eating in sleazy places???

Sometimes I do enjoy eating in sleazy places!

soulsinging

lephty wrote:

as a diner, i am not picky. if i ask for medium and it comes back otherwise, i really don't care. as long as everything is edible, i have no complaints.

one thing i notice though, sometimes servers come to the table to ask how things are WAY to early. so maybe the waiters/waitresses in this thread that are saying "speak up about your food" might be jumping the gun on asking how things are?

honestly, i am amazed that the servers in this thread have never seen anything happen to anyones food after it was sent back. i guess i watch too many of those "shocking video" shows and even though it may not happen at the places you work at, it does still happen and that is what sticks in the back of everyones mind when they think about complaining.

I worked in a restaurant 2 years and never once even heard of anyone fucking with anybody's food.

decides2dream

if my food is not right, whether cooked improperly or not as i ordered, i always let the waitstaff know....politely. sometimes i don't send it back, i just let them know - especially if it's a place we frequent often.....but if i am truly unhappy with it, you bet, i let the kitchen correct it. my husband NEVEr complains or sends anything back, and it annoys me. i too think, you are paying for it, you should get what you want. he too has that 'worry' that they'll violate his food or something. :? whatever. to me, as long as you are always polite and respectful, you get treated in kind.

haffajappa

meh... i too think there is a line drawn between just dealing with your food and eating it, and sending it back if its bad enough...

its nice that you're caring and patient enough to want an honest opinion, but there's always that sense of worry that the waiter/waitress won't be i think...

and about cooks doing stuff to food, i've worked in a restaurant where a cook dropped a steak on the floor and put it on the plate...HAHA... whos to say they wouldnt do something to it! haha

mrvedderson

for the most part, i cant even cook good enough to satisfy my tastebuds, so i figure it would be kinda hard for someone else to. but i will never complain about a meal i asked someone to prepare and did not do it for myself,

EquallyWorthless

Kel Varnsen wrote:

Maybe it is because in a lot of places people think if you send something back, the cook is going to do something bad to your food.

Ok that never really happens, unless your the only white guy in Asian place or something.. It is that most people just dont want to complain or "cause trouble"

_Crazy_Mary_

Ok, for me it's not so much that you should complain if it's not perfect but that you shouldn't give off the attitude that you dislike your meal but still tell me 'it's ok.' It's one thing to eat the meal anyway even if you're not satisfied, but don't be a dick about it when I've already asked you how it is and you lied & said it's ok. Does that make any sense.
After reading this thread I do understand why a person may be intimidated into not complaining, but if that's the case, then lie to me & tell me it's great & leave happy. haha

Kel Varnsen

EquallyWorthless wrote:

Kel Varnsen wrote:

Maybe it is because in a lot of places people think if you send something back, the cook is going to do something bad to your food.

Ok that never really happens, unless your the only white guy in Asian place or something.. It is that most people just dont want to complain or "cause trouble"

It might never or almost never really happen, but for a lot of people the small chance that it might happen is not worth the risk. I mean lots of people are afraid of things that most likely will never really happen to them. I mean how many people are afraid of getting on a plane, when the odds of being in a plane crash are almost zero?

Flagg

Depends on the problem. If I ask for no cheese or no sour cream or whatever and it comes back with it on there anyway, I don't complain. Just scrape it off and move on.

About the only thing I will complain about is temperature. If something is cold when it isn't supposed to be, then I'll say something.

Last month we went out and the waiter took our drink orders as soon as we sat down. Before there was even any water. Water never came and waiter didn't come back for awhile. Had to get up and go to the bar to get water. Waiter came back and took the food order. We still had not received the beers we ordered. Told the waiter and he left. 10 minutes later the food arrives. We tell the guy serving us that we still have not recveived the beers. So he went to find the waiter. By this time we were laughing. Waiter comes back and asks how it is going. Still no beers. We told him and he apologized and ran off. Then a manager comes as asks how is it going. I say "Fine. I've just never been anywhere where the food comes out before the drinks. Usually it is the other way around." He apologized and then left and I could see him bitching out the waiter across the room. Waiter came back and told us the meal was free and that he was sorry.

I tipped him 25% of what the bill was supposed to be anyway. He had a bad day. Really didn't mean for him to get yelled out. He wasn't doing anything out of anger or anything so why ruin his day?

We never raised our voices or called him names or bitched at the manager, just calmly explained what was going on and even laughed about it. Felt bad that the manager let him have it.

joint in a tree

dunkman wrote:

i've been told about 1894 times on this forum that if i dont tip then the chef will spit into my food next time and all that shit..

that's one reason i wouldnt complain.


the other is that some waitresses/waiters usually have the facial expression of a warthog licking piss off a cactus... so i feel like i'm inconveniencing them... which is why i dont tip them.

:P

Firstly, the chef/cook does not care if you tip or not. He gets paid the same either way.

There is a family of non-tippers that frequents my restaurant. I would never taint their food because it is unethical and just plain wrong. Also, if caught, i would lose my job or worse. The first 2x I waited on them, I gave them my usual good service. No tip. Now when they come in, they are my last priority. Unless all my other tables need absolutely nothing, I don't care if they need drink refills or whatever. I don't care if the cooks try to pass off old fries or overcooked meat. (Normally, in my restaurant, i can tell the cooks if i don't like how something looks before it leaves the kitchen, and they have to fix it) I don't care if they get their food at the same time as their apps and salad--my main goal is to get them in and out, and free up my table. They never complain, but they never tip either (not just me--we've all waited on them) Why should i go out of my way, when i know it's only gonna cost me a buck or 2 in tipout? I'd rather write it off and focus on my other tables, who will tip for my good service.

And don't tell me maybe i suck or whatever, because I know I am a good waitress. some people just don't tip, and they get treated accordingly. Also, Karma's a bitch--you don't need me spittin in your food or whatever. It'll come around.