My House Smells Like Ass!!!

Steve Dunne

Yesterday my lil' 38 pound 5 year old daughter clogged up the toilet with a mooseknuckle-sized crap and now the toilet's jammed. Used the plunger, tried the auger, nearly flooded the bathroom with the most foul smelling water known to man. Three hours of trying to fix it to no avail. Three hours of futility, and I'll never get that time back. The only break I took was to watch the PJ special on VH1 Classic.

I need to call Eddie Vedder, the self-proclaimed 'plumber of rock stars'.

PatrickBateman

hahaha my 5 year old daughter can clog a toilet as well....what would you do about ed's plumber crack?

norm

mooseknuckle????


what are you feeding the little one?? :shock:

libragirl

I didn't think a little kid crap was big enough to do that..this thread title is hilarious

CHANGEinWAVES

Are you proud of her!? I would be

My place smell horrible too, but that's cause the community remulched so everything smells like vinegar!

mfc2006

we went out of town last weekend & accidentally left some chicken & mushroom casserole on the counter. we turned the a/c off to save $ while we were gone & when we cam home it felt like an oven inside the house. a very, very stinky oven. the smell is still lingering. gross.

WildChildRose

You know I saw an infomercial on bowel movements this weekend and they were saying that little kid poops are very healthy and an example of how much you should be going. So sounds like your little one is very healthy!

Steve Dunne

i had to hold her legs she was in such agony. and then the water rose like the banks of the River Liffey were overflowing with Guinness!!!!!!!! it was awful. truth be told, she's had these 'issues' since she was 1.5, but over the last year she'd outgrown them. she was on miralax and everything!!! she's just a skinny little runt who can unleash hell in a restroom. she clogged the toilet the night before but we were able to take care of it with the plunger. but last night was a whole new ballgame. i had to scoop out the water into a bucket, then take the bucket down the hall, down the stairs, out the front door, and across the street to the storm drain. 12x. and for those of you in the northeast, you know it was cold out last night! my tank top and wicked good slippers just weren't cutting it. not to mention i was continually unsuccessful.

i can still smell it today. 2 showers later.

youngster

Steve Dunne wrote:

i had to hold her legs she was in such agony. and then the water rose like the banks of the River Liffey were overflowing with Guinness!!!!!!!! it was awful. truth be told, she's had these 'issues' since she was 1.5, but over the last year she'd outgrown them. she was on miralax and everything!!! she's just a skinny little runt who can unleash hell in a restroom. she clogged the toilet the night before but we were able to take care of it with the plunger. but last night was a whole new ballgame. i had to scoop out the water into a bucket, then take the bucket down the hall, down the stairs, out the front door, and across the street to the storm drain. 12x. and for those of you in the northeast, you know it was cold out last night! my tank top and wicked good slippers just weren't cutting it. not to mention i was continually unsuccessful.

i can still smell it today. 2 showers later.

Not laughing at your daughter by any means, just the way you described it.

mfc2006

Steve Dunne wrote:

i had to hold her legs she was in such agony. and then the water rose like the banks of the River Liffey were overflowing with Guinness!!!!!!!! she's just a skinny little runt who can unleash hell in a restroom.

i can still smell it today. 2 showers later.

PJPixie

I'm sorry........i can't stop laughing. I had a friend who had this problem with a child. They used to have to break up her bowel movements with a wire hanger before they attempted flushing. Good Luck!

Phantom Pain

My brother's son is like that..shits like a horse

He lets the crap sit there in the water for awhile so it softens up and then he can flush it

The other problem is when his son goes its like a weeks worth because he doesn't like to poop

libragirl

This thread is cracking me up

norm

every time i read this thread i think of this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-YVt4gfquA

Phantom Pain

libragirl wrote:

This thread is cracking me up

Funny as shit !

libragirl

Phantom Pain wrote:

libragirl wrote:

This thread is cracking me up

Funny as shit !

definitely..that comment you said about your brother's son gave me a good chuckle

PatrickBateman

Steve Dunne wrote:

i had to hold her legs she was in such agony. and then the water rose like the banks of the River Liffey were overflowing with Guinness!!!!!!!! it was awful. truth be told, she's had these 'issues' since she was 1.5, but over the last year she'd outgrown them. she was on miralax and everything!!! she's just a skinny little runt who can unleash hell in a restroom. she clogged the toilet the night before but we were able to take care of it with the plunger. but last night was a whole new ballgame. i had to scoop out the water into a bucket, then take the bucket down the hall, down the stairs, out the front door, and across the street to the storm drain. 12x. and for those of you in the northeast, you know it was cold out last night! my tank top and wicked good slippers just weren't cutting it. not to mention i was continually unsuccessful.

i can still smell it today. 2 showers later.

awwwweeee dude, I am drinking a Guinness right now....awwwwwwwwwwwwww

lephty

you should add a garbage disposal to your toilet drain if this is a recurring issue=p my brother can clog toilets like a champion. i am pretty sure every toilet he has encountered has choked on his ass goblins.

ZiggyStar

Ohhh....all the fun things I have to look forward to when I become a parent!

I had no idea little kids crapped that much....

Steve Dunne

defeated again last night. and it gets worse.

after 4 unsuccessful tries, i conceded...and made the proverbial call to my dad to ask if he had another auger/toilet snake. yes, a toilet snake. THAT should have been the name of the crap that she unleashed monday night. there was a twinge of pride that he had in his little runt of a granddaughter to cause me such dispair, as if it was sweet revenge for something i had done in my youth. and as if i hadn't gone through enough humiliation...

the wife gave her 2 cents by bitching because i was pouring the toilet water (which had cleared up considerably) down the storm drain across the street. had the nerve to call me 'cousin eddie'.

WW3 nearly erupted. not exactly the encouragement i was looking for.

so i proceed to throw the next 5 buckets of water in the back woods area behind my house...which of course in the springtime is developing pollen and causing allergies.

so now all i can smell is 2 day old crapwater, the toilet STILL doesn't work, my nose is running from the stink fumes, and the developing pollen is giving me a sore throat.

W T F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poncier

Call a plumber Eddie.

norm

Poncier wrote:

Call a plumber Eddie.

"shitter was full!"

"honey, you check our shitters?"

PearlOfAGirl

Steve Dunne wrote:

Yesterday my lil' 38 pound 5 year old daughter clogged up the toilet with a mooseknuckle-sized crap and now the toilet's jammed. Used the plunger, tried the auger, nearly flooded the bathroom with the most foul smelling water known to man. Three hours of trying to fix it to no avail. Three hours of futility, and I'll never get that time back. The only break I took was to watch the PJ special on VH1 Classic.

I need to call Eddie Vedder, the self-proclaimed 'plumber of rock stars'.

If that happens again, and it will, just keep pouring some hot water in the toilet.

Good Luck

Steve Dunne

multiple insults to injury.

due to the toxins in the air, the pollen, and wiping my kids noses, i now have bronchitis.

wife calls me this morning and says she fixed it. she plunged and flushed at the same time. her first try.

shoot me.

Thoughts_Arrive

This is a SHIT thread

Phantom Pain

Damn ! I will never complain about my plumbing situation in my house again

Mmmmmmmmmm shitty water smell on a warm Spring Day...nothing better

shit stick

believe it or not, in the Medieval ages when there was no Charmin, people would use a wooden stick to scrape away the feces after taking a dump. The stick would commonly be shared among people of the same household, or even the entire village.

the term "wrong end of the shit stick" was coined because if you were to take a dump at night, and needed to grab the "stick", you had a chance of grabbing the wrong end of it.

Jeb quickly reached over for the shit stick, but just realized he grabbed the wrong end of it; his hands now are sticky and foul.

dcfaithful

mfc2006 wrote:

we went out of town last weekend & accidentally left some chicken & mushroom casserole on the counter. we turned the a/c off to save $ while we were gone & when we cam home it felt like an oven inside the house. a very, very stinky oven. the smell is still lingering. gross.

I just got a mental whiff. Ew.

Poncier

Steve Dunne wrote:

.

wife calls me this morning and says she fixed it. she plunged and flushed at the same time. her first try.

shoot me.

May as well just turn in your penis Steve.

norm

Poncier wrote:

Steve Dunne wrote:

.

wife calls me this morning and says she fixed it. she plunged and flushed at the same time. her first try.

shoot me.

May as well just turn in your penis Steve.

didn't he already do that when he got married? :P

LloydXmas

My 6 year old took a crap yesterday that I had to flush 4 times for it to get all the way down..

The Waiting Trophy Man

Steve Dunne wrote:

The only break I took was to watch the PJ special on VH1 Classic.'.

You shouldn't have done that. It will forever be associated with this incident. It could be 20 years before you watch it again but you'll remember and be like "Oh yeah that was the time my daughter clogged the toilet and the whole house smelled like ass."