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What an effing mess I have gotten myself into...

milarsomilarso Posts: 1,280
edited March 2009 in All Encompassing Trip
OK- So a few weeks ago my girl and I broke things off.
Recently, I hooked up with a girl from work, and she is really, really great and fun and pretty and the whole nine. But, and here is the part where I become a dirtbag, she's got a boyfriend.
I knew about him going in, and I still did it. I feel terrible about it, and know it's a dickbag move, but now I am really starting to like the girl.
I don't know what to do. Should I just call things off and walk away, or should I try to let her know how I feel and see if she'll break it off with the other guy for me?
Or do I even want to be with a girl that would cheat on her boyfriend...
"The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • CHANGEinWAVESCHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    wether or not you want to be with someone who cheated is up to you.

    but I'd tell the girl how you feel, better to let it out than to never know.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    you didnt do this alone, so dont feel like too much of a dirtbag. shes the one with the partner, not you. as CiW said, tell her how you feel, but dont expect her to drop the other guy for you.
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  • JaneNYJaneNY Posts: 4,438
    Talk to her. Tell her you don't feel right about what happened, and that you don't think it should happen again. If she likes you, and if it doesn't work out with her boyfriend, maybe there will be a chance in the future.
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  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 17,195
    milarso wrote:
    Or do I even want to be with a girl that would cheat on her boyfriend...
    Just remember when you propose that she's quite likely to do it to you as well.
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  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    It's up to you...what kinda relationship are you looking for? A real one or a fun one? ;)

    It's not the kinda situation many of us would get into... but you need to look at it and decide whether it's for you or not... but just remember if you want a proper relationship with her now, the chances of it working out are very slim.
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  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 30,484
    May the best man win! :mrgreen:

    I did the same thing once.......we lasted for a couple of years. She was great. In the end, I was the one who fucked it up. :cry:
    If I had known then what I know now...

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  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 30,312
    f that you should bang all the chicks you can at work and then see which one suits you best how's that for some sound advice :twisted: j/k like they say " don't shit where you eat " ... :P
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    milarso wrote:
    OK- So a few weeks ago my girl and I broke things off.
    Recently, I hooked up with a girl from work, and she is really, really great and fun and pretty and the whole nine. But, and here is the part where I become a dirtbag, she's got a boyfriend.
    I knew about him going in, and I still did it. I feel terrible about it, and know it's a dickbag move, but now I am really starting to like the girl.
    I don't know what to do. Should I just call things off and walk away, or should I try to let her know how I feel and see if she'll break it off with the other guy for me?
    Or do I even want to be with a girl that would cheat on her boyfriend...

    If she did it to him, she can just as easily do it to you.

    I once hooked up with a coworker on a few occasions... she was engaged to be married. I ended it eventually, it was mostly alcohol and dry spell infused anyway. However, later, the one woman that was the love of my life started hooking up with a guy on spring break and ended up leaving me for him. I've never really been the same. The point is, it's a shit thing to do and karma is a bitch.
  • DeLukinDeLukin Posts: 2,757
    edited February 2009
    Yea but HOW you handle yourself now will tell her what kind of partner you will be. If you're skeevy about things now what reason does she have to believe that you won't be skeevy if you guys were together? I think the honorable thing to do is break it off while she's with her bf. If she wants you, she'll get rid of him. That way, you give her every reason to believe you'll be good to her if you're ever put in a position to cheat on her down the road. Anticipate the test and pass it!
    Post edited by DeLukin on
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  • Cinnamon GirlCinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    If you feel "terrible" about it...then don't do it. I mean...why be involved in something that makes you feel terrible?
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  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    DeLukin wrote:
    Yea but HOW you handle yourself now will tell her what kind of partner you will be. If you're skeevy about things now what reason does she have to believe that you won't be skeevy if you guys were together? I think the honorable thing to do is break it off while she's with her bf. If she wants you, she'll get rid of him. That way, you give her every reason to believe you'll be good to her if you're ever put in a position to cheat on her...

    Ummm... and what reason has she given him to believe she'll be good to him if she's ever put in a position to cheat on him? I'm not sure he should be overly worried about being skeevy... I think she's got a solid lock on that crown.
  • PJGARDENPJGARDEN Posts: 1,484
    I think if she cheated on her boyfriend with you, she will cheat on you too. I think you should think about if that's the type of person you want to be with.
  • prytocorduroyprytocorduroy Posts: 4,355
    Let her decide who she wants. If it's you great, if not, well don't feel bad as you shouldn't have gone there to begin with. And like others have said, expect that she will cheat on you. I'd personally break it off and write it off as a hook up.
  • DeLukinDeLukin Posts: 2,757
    soulsinging wrote:
    I'm not sure he should be overly worried about being skeevy... I think she's got a solid lock on that crown.
    Possibly. But there could be extenuating circumstances w/her current bf. I dunno. But if the OP has feelings for this girl he needs to at lest try to take it to a level beyond skeevy to have any hope of a meaningful and lasting relationship, IMO.
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  • kenny olavkenny olav Posts: 3,319
    nice use of the word "dickbag"

    it depends on how serious the relationship is with her boyfriend.
  • DanimalDanimal Posts: 2,000
    See how she's likes it and bang her boyfriend... :lol:
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  • mfc2006mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,484
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    If you feel "terrible" about it...then don't do it. I mean...why be involved in something that makes you feel terrible?

    that's what i was thinking. if you're already feeling bad about the situation, is that a foundation that you want to build a relationship on? i think that the answer is pretty clear. good luck.
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  • WaveCameCrashinWaveCameCrashin Posts: 2,929
    why would you want to be with a girl that's cheating on her boyfriend that right there should tell you what kind of person she is. A DRITY WHORE!!
  • WaveCameCrashinWaveCameCrashin Posts: 2,929
    Danimal wrote:
    See how she's likes it and bang her boyfriend... :lol:

    :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol:
  • Cinnamon GirlCinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    gvn2fly74 wrote:
    why would you want to be with a girl that's cheating on her boyfriend that right there should tell you what kind of person she is. A DRITY WHORE!!


    ...and a drity whore is ten times worse than a dirty one. ;)
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  • sweet adelinesweet adeline Posts: 2,191
    here's a littly ditty that you might like ;)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9LwzgfESTE
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Florida Posts: 10,219
    I think after the boyfriend patrols your hershey highway, your story might change. She's gonna chaet on you too.. just walk away.
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 30,312
    how does he taste :roll: ..
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • milarsomilarso Posts: 1,280
    mfc2006 wrote:
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    If you feel "terrible" about it...then don't do it. I mean...why be involved in something that makes you feel terrible?

    that's what i was thinking. if you're already feeling bad about the situation, is that a foundation that you want to build a relationship on? i think that the answer is pretty clear. good luck.

    Just to make sure we are all on the same page, I don't feel terrible about her. I feel bad about knocking around with some other guy's girl. I feel bad for him. But the reason I'm so conflicted is that I feel a real connection with her, and it's kind of outweighing my morals when it comes to "guy law" ie- not hopping in the sack with another dude's girl...
    "The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,534
    milarso wrote:
    mfc2006 wrote:
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    If you feel "terrible" about it...then don't do it. I mean...why be involved in something that makes you feel terrible?

    that's what i was thinking. if you're already feeling bad about the situation, is that a foundation that you want to build a relationship on? i think that the answer is pretty clear. good luck.

    Just to make sure we are all on the same page, I don't feel terrible about her. I feel bad about knocking around with some other guy's girl. I feel bad for him. But the reason I'm so conflicted is that I feel a real connection with her, and it's kind of outweighing my morals when it comes to "guy law" ie- not hopping in the sack with another dude's girl...
    I guess the real questiion here is "Would YOU want some dude , doing that to YOUR girlfriend/You"?
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  • milarsomilarso Posts: 1,280
    mickeyrat wrote:
    I guess the real questiion here is "Would YOU want some dude , doing that to YOUR girlfriend/You"?

    Absolutely not. And perhaps I'm just trying to justify my situation, but the way I figure it, if he was doing his job, she wouldn't be coming over to my place.
    "The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
  • Cinnamon GirlCinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    milarso wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    I guess the real questiion here is "Would YOU want some dude , doing that to YOUR girlfriend/You"?

    Absolutely not. And perhaps I'm just trying to justify my situation, but the way I figure it, if he was doing his job, she wouldn't be coming over to my place.


    Ugh. :roll:
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  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 40,534
    milarso wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    I guess the real questiion here is "Would YOU want some dude , doing that to YOUR girlfriend/You"?

    Absolutely not. And perhaps I'm just trying to justify my situation, but the way I figure it, if he was doing his job, she wouldn't be coming over to my place.
    OR , figure this , as "nice" as she seems to you , shes not one who sticks to exclusivity. In other words shes a little loose with the goods?
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • milarsomilarso Posts: 1,280
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    milarso wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    I guess the real questiion here is "Would YOU want some dude , doing that to YOUR girlfriend/You"?

    Absolutely not. And perhaps I'm just trying to justify my situation, but the way I figure it, if he was doing his job, she wouldn't be coming over to my place.


    Ugh. :roll:

    I'm not talking about sexually.
    "The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
  • milarsomilarso Posts: 1,280
    mickeyrat wrote:
    milarso wrote:
    mickeyrat wrote:
    I guess the real questiion here is "Would YOU want some dude , doing that to YOUR girlfriend/You"?

    Absolutely not. And perhaps I'm just trying to justify my situation, but the way I figure it, if he was doing his job, she wouldn't be coming over to my place.
    OR , figure this , as "nice" as she seems to you , shes not one who sticks to exclusivity. In other words shes a little loose with the goods?

    I don't know. She told me this is the first time she's ever cheated on anyone (I know, I know), but, at this point, I have really no reason to think that she's lying to me.
    "The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' her easy for all us sinners."
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