anybody else pretty much hate everyone at the moment?

Stone Is God

Heineken Helen wrote:

Stone Is God wrote:

Cateeto wrote:

I'm at this very irritated phase in my life where I'm just tired of a lot of useless drama and bullshit. A lot of it stems from me being brutally honest about everything. It's not even that I'm brutal half the time, but just honest in general. People, for whatever reason, usually their own insecurities, dislike this. Because they dislike the fact that someone can be honest all the time, they dislike me. Because they dislike me, I dislike them... It's not even that I care whether or not they like me, but when people start to talk shit about me and try to paint a horrid picture of what they assume my marriage to be, I start to have issues and begin to hate a lot of people.

People equate truth with being brutal because the truth hurts. You're in the better state with being honest and not faking it around people. I'm honest all the time with my feelings about things and that's the way it is. People talk shit just to talk shit and I find it's better not to even hate, I just "nothing" them.

oh I HAVE been 'nothing'ing them.. but it's getting hard to even do that at the mo. I'm very familiar with being honest or being brutally honest even, but i've never been in this situation before... cos, to see the nice people, you also have to see the arseholes. :oops:

Is there a way to eliminate the asses from hanging out with the group meaning gathering up the good ones without letting the assholes know what you're doing?

Heineken Helen

Stone Is God wrote:

Heineken Helen wrote:

Stone Is God wrote:

People equate truth with being brutal because the truth hurts. You're in the better state with being honest and not faking it around people. I'm honest all the time with my feelings about things and that's the way it is. People talk shit just to talk shit and I find it's better not to even hate, I just "nothing" them.

oh I HAVE been 'nothing'ing them.. but it's getting hard to even do that at the mo. I'm very familiar with being honest or being brutally honest even, but i've never been in this situation before... cos, to see the nice people, you also have to see the arseholes. :oops:

Is there a way to eliminate the asses from hanging out with the group meaning gathering up the good ones without letting the assholes know what you're doing?

Nope, the group's well established... I'm the newbie.

Heineken Helen

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

I don't do hate, to be honest.

Same here. Hate does more damage to the one 'hating' rather than the hated one.

I'm not trying to 'damage' anyone... nor do i want to. I just happen to hate a guy who's part of the group i hang around with. He's an asshole... there's no liking him. But the rest of the group have known him forever and know how he is... and know that's just how he is... or something :oops:

Stone Is God

Heineken Helen wrote:

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

I don't do hate, to be honest.

Same here. Hate does more damage to the one 'hating' rather than the hated one.

I'm not trying to 'damage' anyone... nor do i want to. I just happen to hate a guy who's part of the group i hang around with. He's an asshole... there's no liking him. But the rest of the group have known him forever and know how he is... and know that's just how he is... or something :oops:

Does everyone else even like hanging with him or do they just tolerate his antics?

soulsinging

Stone Is God wrote:

Cateeto wrote:

I'm at this very irritated phase in my life where I'm just tired of a lot of useless drama and bullshit. A lot of it stems from me being brutally honest about everything. It's not even that I'm brutal half the time, but just honest in general. People, for whatever reason, usually their own insecurities, dislike this. Because they dislike the fact that someone can be honest all the time, they dislike me. Because they dislike me, I dislike them... It's not even that I care whether or not they like me, but when people start to talk shit about me and try to paint a horrid picture of what they assume my marriage to be, I start to have issues and begin to hate a lot of people.

People equate truth with being brutal because the truth hurts. You're in the better state with being honest and not faking it around people. I'm honest all the time with my feelings about things and that's the way it is. People talk shit just to talk shit and I find it's better not to even hate, I just "nothing" them.

The flipside to that is that people often claim they're being "brutally honest" as a cover for being snide or cruel and not having to face the fact that they're being a bitch/bastard and hurting people for no good reason... which is the real source of people not responding well to them, not some aversion to honesty. Women especially are prone to this... OTHER women gossip, I just practice HONESTY.

Heineken Helen

Stone Is God wrote:

Heineken Helen wrote:

I'm not trying to 'damage' anyone... nor do i want to. I just happen to hate a guy who's part of the group i hang around with. He's an asshole... there's no liking him. But the rest of the group have known him forever and know how he is... and know that's just how he is... or something :oops:

Does everyone else even like hanging with him or do they just tolerate his antics?

I'm not 100% sure... but I think they actually DO like him... I really can't see why... but I get the impression they do. e.g. he'll be going on about one of the girls and perving on her and her tough bf will be laughing and I'm kinda thinking if my bf was laughing, I'd have to kick his arse myself. He's one of those who verges on the being gay edge who can get away with being a pervert... but i've noticed for quite a while that he'll simply ignore me... which i'm happy about but there have been obvious references where i've realised 'he just doesn't like me' and that's cool but it never quite made sense.

Heineken Helen

soulsinging wrote:

Stone Is God wrote:

Cateeto wrote:

I'm at this very irritated phase in my life where I'm just tired of a lot of useless drama and bullshit. A lot of it stems from me being brutally honest about everything. It's not even that I'm brutal half the time, but just honest in general. People, for whatever reason, usually their own insecurities, dislike this. Because they dislike the fact that someone can be honest all the time, they dislike me. Because they dislike me, I dislike them... It's not even that I care whether or not they like me, but when people start to talk shit about me and try to paint a horrid picture of what they assume my marriage to be, I start to have issues and begin to hate a lot of people.

People equate truth with being brutal because the truth hurts. You're in the better state with being honest and not faking it around people. I'm honest all the time with my feelings about things and that's the way it is. People talk shit just to talk shit and I find it's better not to even hate, I just "nothing" them.

The flipside to that is that people often claim they're being "brutally honest" as a cover for being snide or cruel and not having to face the fact that they're being a bitch/bastard and hurting people for no good reason... which is the real source of people not responding well to them, not some aversion to honesty. Women especially are prone to this... OTHER women gossip, I just practice HONESTY.

well I'm not a bitch... and I don't hurt people for no good reason. I never gossiped back with the girls but avoided the topic or changed the subject. You don't know me, nor have you met me... so you've NO idea.

Stone Is God

soulsinging wrote:

Stone Is God wrote:

Cateeto wrote:

I'm at this very irritated phase in my life where I'm just tired of a lot of useless drama and bullshit. A lot of it stems from me being brutally honest about everything. It's not even that I'm brutal half the time, but just honest in general. People, for whatever reason, usually their own insecurities, dislike this. Because they dislike the fact that someone can be honest all the time, they dislike me. Because they dislike me, I dislike them... It's not even that I care whether or not they like me, but when people start to talk shit about me and try to paint a horrid picture of what they assume my marriage to be, I start to have issues and begin to hate a lot of people.

People equate truth with being brutal because the truth hurts. You're in the better state with being honest and not faking it around people. I'm honest all the time with my feelings about things and that's the way it is. People talk shit just to talk shit and I find it's better not to even hate, I just "nothing" them.

The flipside to that is that people often claim they're being "brutally honest" as a cover for being snide or cruel and not having to face the fact that they're being a bitch/bastard and hurting people for no good reason... which is the real source of people not responding well to them, not some aversion to honesty. Women especially are prone to this... OTHER women gossip, I just practice HONESTY.

Totally true Soul.

soulsinging

Heineken Helen wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

The flipside to that is that people often claim they're being "brutally honest" as a cover for being snide or cruel and not having to face the fact that they're being a bitch/bastard and hurting people for no good reason... which is the real source of people not responding well to them, not some aversion to honesty. Women especially are prone to this... OTHER women gossip, I just practice HONESTY.

well I'm not a bitch... and I don't hurt people for no good reason. I never gossiped back with the girls but avoided the topic or changed the subject. You don't know me, nor have you met me... so you've NO idea.

I was speaking generally, and in response to someone else's post. Why would you think I was speaking of you?

As to this guy, maybe you shouldn't be so uptight. Every group has a resident pervert and you learn to just not take them seriously. I once hung out with a gay guy that drove a lot of people nuts. He was crude, vulgar, offensive, and everything else. But he was also utterly hilarious once you learned to just deal with him. He also was very standoffish with newcomers, but if they proved they could stick around and not take him personal, he warmed to them and they usually grew to love him too.

Heineken Helen

soulsinging wrote:

Heineken Helen wrote:

well I'm not a bitch... and I don't hurt people for no good reason. I never gossiped back with the girls but avoided the topic or changed the subject. You don't know me, nor have you met me... so you've NO idea.

I was speaking generally, and in response to someone else's post. Why would you think I was speaking of you?

As to this guy, maybe you shouldn't be so uptight. Every group has a resident pervert and you learn to just not take them seriously. I once hung out with a gay guy that drove a lot of people nuts. He was crude, vulgar, offensive, and everything else. But he was also utterly hilarious once you learned to just deal with him. He also was very standoffish with newcomers, but if they proved they could stick around and not take him personal, he warmed to them and they usually grew to love him too.

I'm not one to 'prove myself' to people. Either they like me or they don't ... I can't be bothered with people who needs proving. I don't take anything personally... I just don't like the guy. His sense of humour is ten year old at BEST, but for some reason everyone else laughs... they do, in general, have a bit of a different sense of humour to me. I like crass and I like vulgar... but not 99% of the time... only to a certain extent and then I'm like 'move on MOVE ON'. I'm not uptight... I've given them all 4 months... and some of them are still the same, real stand up people, but he's always been quite moody... IF he's in a good mood, he's alright... but it's rare... and now he's started that when he's in a bad mood, he'll take it out on me. He's certainly not hilarious like your friend... I've pretended to at least smile at his jokes in the past... but when it's the same jokes all the time and CONSTANT penis jokes, my smile starts to hurt.. ya know when you know it's time to stop smiling? So I've stopped and started pretending I've zoned out. I chain smoke in between rounds at the quiz so i can just sit through the rounds and then go away when he's gonna be talking about stupid stuff.

soulsinging

Heineken Helen wrote:

I'm not one to 'prove myself' to people. Either they like me or they don't ... I can't be bothered with people who needs proving. I don't take anything personally... I just don't like the guy. His sense of humour is ten year old at BEST, but for some reason everyone else laughs... they do, in general, have a bit of a different sense of humour to me. I like crass and I like vulgar... but not 99% of the time... only to a certain extent and then I'm like 'move on MOVE ON'. I'm not uptight... I've given them all 4 months... and some of them are still the same, real stand up people, but he's always been quite moody... IF he's in a good mood, he's alright... but it's rare... and now he's started that when he's in a bad mood, he'll take it out on me. He's certainly not hilarious like your friend... I've pretended to at least smile at his jokes in the past... but when it's the same jokes all the time and CONSTANT penis jokes, my smile starts to hurt.. ya know when you know it's time to stop smiling? So I've stopped and started pretending I've zoned out. I chain smoke in between rounds at the quiz so i can just sit through the rounds and then go away when he's gonna be talking about stupid stuff.

Fair enough. I guess I just don't see why you'd go if you hate the guy so much. Isn't it your bf's group of friends? And he doesn't even go? Why do you then, if you can't stand the people? Just stay home, instead of sitting at the table glowering and being a killjoy

Heineken Helen

soulsinging wrote:

Heineken Helen wrote:

I'm not one to 'prove myself' to people. Either they like me or they don't ... I can't be bothered with people who needs proving. I don't take anything personally... I just don't like the guy. His sense of humour is ten year old at BEST, but for some reason everyone else laughs... they do, in general, have a bit of a different sense of humour to me. I like crass and I like vulgar... but not 99% of the time... only to a certain extent and then I'm like 'move on MOVE ON'. I'm not uptight... I've given them all 4 months... and some of them are still the same, real stand up people, but he's always been quite moody... IF he's in a good mood, he's alright... but it's rare... and now he's started that when he's in a bad mood, he'll take it out on me. He's certainly not hilarious like your friend... I've pretended to at least smile at his jokes in the past... but when it's the same jokes all the time and CONSTANT penis jokes, my smile starts to hurt.. ya know when you know it's time to stop smiling? So I've stopped and started pretending I've zoned out. I chain smoke in between rounds at the quiz so i can just sit through the rounds and then go away when he's gonna be talking about stupid stuff.

Fair enough. I guess I just don't see why you'd go if you hate the guy so much. Isn't it your bf's group of friends? And he doesn't even go? Why do you then, if you can't stand the people? Just stay home, instead of sitting at the table glowering and being a killjoy

cos I LOVE the quiz :roll: and it is pretty much my favourite night of the week... but now that my bf and his sister aren't going anymore, it's taken the good out of it. Even on weekend nights out with the group... I guess i've just started to notice what they're really like since his sis can't afford to come out anymore... cos we'd usually end up sitting away and talking about other stuff... or me and the bf would, or we'd talk with the 'peripheral' people. So while him and the sister were still going, I learned to love the quiz and now she can't afford to come and she's also studying for exams... he also has his reasons... but it's only the past couple of weeks i've started to really feel like an outsider... mainly cos of this guy... and i'm certainly not shy at including myself into things so i don't think i'm a killjoy, which is why, rather than actually complain, I try to take myself away... but it's a day of the week i've come to really enjoy and now it's gonna be horrible having to give it up :(

and it's not that i can't stand the people... it's just that for some reason, they usually allow him direct the conversation with his stupid little mind... the rest of them have their good and bad points but there are a few people that i really really like. I just wish he didn't have to be part of it.

Danimal

soulsinging wrote:

Stone Is God wrote:

Cateeto wrote:

I'm at this very irritated phase in my life where I'm just tired of a lot of useless drama and bullshit. A lot of it stems from me being brutally honest about everything. It's not even that I'm brutal half the time, but just honest in general. People, for whatever reason, usually their own insecurities, dislike this. Because they dislike the fact that someone can be honest all the time, they dislike me. Because they dislike me, I dislike them... It's not even that I care whether or not they like me, but when people start to talk shit about me and try to paint a horrid picture of what they assume my marriage to be, I start to have issues and begin to hate a lot of people.

People equate truth with being brutal because the truth hurts. You're in the better state with being honest and not faking it around people. I'm honest all the time with my feelings about things and that's the way it is. People talk shit just to talk shit and I find it's better not to even hate, I just "nothing" them.

The flipside to that is that people often claim they're being "brutally honest" as a cover for being snide or cruel and not having to face the fact that they're being a bitch/bastard and hurting people for no good reason... which is the real source of people not responding well to them, not some aversion to honesty. Women especially are prone to this... OTHER women gossip, I just practice HONESTY.

Thank you.

Cateeto

soulsinging wrote:

The flipside to that is that people often claim they're being "brutally honest" as a cover for being snide or cruel and not having to face the fact that they're being a bitch/bastard and hurting people for no good reason... which is the real source of people not responding well to them, not some aversion to honesty. Women especially are prone to this... OTHER women gossip, I just practice HONESTY.

I totally get what you are saying and agree 100% that most people, especially females, use "honesty" as a cover for them being bitchy and people not liking them. I've known so many people like this, again mainly females, and it's made me sick throughout my life. This is one of the biggest reasons I get along with guys better (though some guys are just as dramatic). This is also one of the biggest reasons I try my hardest to uphold pure honesty. I'm a pretty mellow chick and can get along with most people, but when something is off and I feel dishonesty around me, I just try to avoid those certain people. I guess hate is too strong of a word. I really don't hate people, but I can dislike people. I'm not one to make a big deal, but sometimes I silently scream from all the gossip that erupts... You'd think my life were some type of famous person's with all the attention I get... And the thing that perplexes me the most is the fact that I don't knowingly do anything to start drama or gossip. It's just mind boggling when you try to be a decent person, be honest, be friendly, and tolerate others, and then a lot of people shit on you... Behind your back.

The world is full of these people though... It's nonsense to really think twice about them... But the thing that affects me the most is the fact that they hurt a loved one and were formally closer to them... They use ME as a target for their own frustrations in life and try to make ME out to be a bad guy. I don't know... I just try to be the best person I can be, but sometimes that's just not enough. In these circumstances ignoring them isn't the best thing to do and I'm not sure what is. Luckily I have a lot of friends that do respect my honesty and way of living and don't think twice about keeping me close.

At least we have the forum to vent, yeah?

wolfbear

All you need is a PJ tour! :idea: :P

chiquimonkey

thankfully there's nobody i know that i hate, it's a waste of energy for me. there's enough in this world and life that can upset me, if someone irritates me i just don't deal with 'em

Jennytree

Want me to come visit and tell him to shut the fuck up?!

Could be worse, at least ye have people to go to a quiz with, all my friends emigrated

Heineken Helen

Jennytree wrote:

Want me to come visit and tell him to shut the fuck up?!

Could be worse, at least ye have people to go to a quiz with, all my friends emigrated

Ya KNOW I want ya to come visit awww Jenny, that's shite! :(

sorry for the venting last night :oops: but the whole thing's just fucking annoying. The bf's sisters bf (who some of you know ) has said the same thing about them.. and the sister has even stronger feelings against one or two of them than I have :shock: so at least i know it's not just me.

ah well, nobody can say I haven't tried... I just don't know where to go from here :?

Heineken Helen

wolfbear wrote:

All you need is a PJ tour! :idea: :P

AND money to go on aforementioned tour! :shock:

SomethingCreative

not everyone...just the idiot customers.