What do you do...

justam

manipulatedliving wrote:

when your partner just doesn't give a fuck? You are upset...they never try to comfort you...you are pissed or unhappy and they just roll back over and go back to sleep like nothing. you go outside to smoke, hoping they would follow you just to ask what is wrong, so you feel like someone is there for you, and you come back in the bedroom to find them snoring...
but you can't leave them because you feel like no one else will be there for you...and you would rather have a shitty something than nothing at all?

what do you do?

What do I do? Talk.

Say something if you're upset. Don't expect anyone to read your mind. Some people can, and some people can't and even those that CAN might get tired of having to do that.

CityMouse

manipulatedliving wrote:

but you can't leave them because you feel like no one else will be there for you...and you would rather have a shitty something than nothing at all?

what do you do?

wow this is messed up.
why do you need this???

people don't HAVE to have a "partner" you know. you won't die.

there's no point in being a relationship if you don't get anything out of it. it's not like water, food, and shelter, it's an option not a necessity.

Plus, if you feel this way this is WHY he/she doesn't care. they don't HAVE to care about you because they know your self esteem is too low to ever break up with them.

urbanhippie

Try, try and try again and if it doesn't work then go.
Thats what I did and because I know I gave it my best shot I was able to move on and look back at things with the minimum of regret.

CityMouse

blackredyellow wrote:

I've never understood that as well... Maybe as a guy it's a little different, but I've had friends both guys and girls that couldn't be alone. They always had to have a boyfriend/girlfriend and felt worthless if they didn't. I'm sure it's a self-esteem issue, but a lot of the times desperate people attract people who take advantage of them (which lowers their self-esteem even more).

trust me, it doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl.

inmytree

dunkman wrote:

i would say "hey.. there's something wrong here, can we talk?"

you go outside for a smoke and HOPE they follow you? unless he is the CEO of MindReaders Inc then how would he know???

so tell him.. ask him to talk.. dont do womeny things like you mentioned... it will get you nowhere.

right on, brother...

if your partner doesn't know what the problem is, they can't fix it...

and don't be fearful of being alone...it's actually a good thing sometimes...you get a chance to clear your head, get to know yourself, and figure out what you want and more importantly, don't want...

manipulatedliving

share wrote:

walk around the house butt neked.
if he doesn't take notice then it's time to give notice.

haha

Thanks for the advice guys...well he's like that all the time, so I guess it's just him and not me...i'll try it

manipulatedliving

wow...sorry if you feel like im bitching to you, but I have to tell you this. So tonight, I buy (like most things) a bottle of rum for us to share as my last night of leave with my family. Instead of drinking to have fun and have a good time, all David knows how to do is drink to get obliterated. So he goes on and on, and for a while I think we've having a good time, until I realize he's far beyond gone. So I decide that it's time for us to lay down and go to sleep so that I can get up early tomorrow and spend most of the day with my family for my last day of leave. We head into the bedroom and he's belligerent. I lay down and so does he and he starts rambling shit that I can't understand so I grab him a bucket in case he gets sick (he's still kind of a lightweight) so a few minutes later i hear him start to get sick (assuming he's puking in the bucket) sure enough about ten minutes later i wake up and make sure he made it in the bucket, and of course, he puked all over the wall and my grandmothers carpet. I get up and start yelling at him, and in his drunken stupor has NO idea what i'm talking about, so i go get the items necessary to clean up his mess, and I spend ten minutes pissed off cleaning up his shit, while he falls right back to sleep, and it this very moment is asleep not caring a thing in the world about how I feel.

Sorry if that overwhelmed you but I felt the need to ramble to someone.


A very considerate way to treat my grandmother and her house while i'm on leave.

angelm20

manipulatedliving wrote:

wow... So tonight, I buy (like most things) a bottle of rum for us to share as my last night of leave with my family. Instead of drinking to have fun and have a good time, all David knows how to do is drink to get obliterated. So he goes on and on, and for a while I think we've having a good time, until I realize he's far beyond gone. So I decide that it's time for us to lay down and go to sleep so that I can get up early tomorrow and spend most of the day with my family for my last day of leave. We head into the bedroom and he's belligerent. I lay down and so does he and he starts rambling shit that I can't understand so I grab him a bucket in case he gets sick (he's still kind of a lightweight) so a few minutes later i hear him start to get sick (assuming he's puking in the bucket) sure enough about ten minutes later i wake up and make sure he made it in the bucket, and of course, he puked all over the wall and my grandmothers carpet. I get up and start yelling at him, and in his drunken stupor has NO idea what i'm talking about, so i go get the items necessary to clean up his mess, and I spend ten minutes pissed off cleaning up his shit, while he falls right back to sleep, and it this very moment is asleep not caring a thing in the world about how I feel.

Your on leave !!! WH~AT!!! OHHHhhhh mannnn baby this is just wrong and you know it or you would not be telling us about it. If he was drunk you can not blame him for the pukin and all~ hey thats normal for guys~ LOL~ seriously I would not expect anything differently~ it just sucks for you but I don't think you'd want him to attempt cleaning it in that state either~ he could make it a lot worse! You are making your own problems here sweeite~ YOU bought him the rum knowing how he gets~ YOU are acting like his mommy more then anything~ You are breakin your own heart~ sorry but even your name here~ manipulatedliving`~ suggests to me you have self esteem issues~ Hey me too~ we all kinda do~ so dont get mad at me~ but I just want you to see that YOU are the problem here~ its not really him~ and maybe you need to work on that and perhaps then he will change. You can NOT change him~ you can only change yourself and how you deal with his actions and reactions to you. Don't blame him for being who he is.

LONGRD

angelm19 wrote:

Your on leave !!! WH~AT!!! OHHHhhhh mannnn baby this is just wrong and you know it or you would not be telling us about it. If he was drunk you can not blame him for the pukin and all~ hey thats normal for guys~ LOL~ seriously I would not expect anything differently~ it just sucks for you but I don't think you'd want him to attempt cleaning it in that state either~ he could make it a lot worse! You are making your own problems here sweeite~ YOU bought him the rum knowing how he gets~ YOU are acting like his mommy more then anything~ You are breakin your own heart~ sorry but even your name here~ manipulatedliving`~ suggests to me you have self esteem issues~ Hey me too~ we all kinda do~ so dont get mad at me~ but I just want you to see that YOU are the problem here~ its not really him~ and maybe you need to work on that and perhaps then he will change. You can NOT change him~ you can only change yourself and how you deal with his actions and reactions to you. Don't blame him for being who he is.

she won't understand your point when you write like that. :rolleyes:

3inputchick

this relationship is over.

3inputchick

If my boyfriend pukes on my carpet he is out!

LONGRD

anymore inputs you like to add?

given2fly78

One day you will wake up and realize that you deserve to be truly happy and that it's over. And until then, you will continue to be miserable. But that decision can only come from you. It's not easy, it's something that takes a lot of guts but it will come down to the fact that the bad outweighs the good and you want to leave before you become bitter and spiteful towards that other person that at one point you truly loved with all your being.

It's better to be alone and happy than with someone that brings you down. Happiness comes from within and we create that ourselves.

Whizbang

eyedclaar wrote:

I think time all alone with nothing but their own thoughts is a lot of people's greatest fear.

you hit it dead on!!! being alone is better than wishing you were.

As other people have said, stop with the "they need to read my mind so they can ask me how I feel" thing. Be blunt, direct and tell your partner "I am not happy and 'this' is what I am looking for from you". open up the lines of communication and tell them what you're feeling/thinking. How do you know your partner isn't unhappy too? Maybe they're playing the same role "they should follow me outside to ask me what is wrong!"

If they choose to ignore you then it's time to move on. Life is far too short to live unhappy with someone. It's unfair to you and to them.