Why are weddings so frigin hard to plan?

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  • anotherclone
    anotherclone Posts: 1,688
    When my hubby and I were married. Same thing. We were paying for it ourselves, his Dad did give us some money because that's what he did for all the kids when they got married but 90% of it was our own saved money.

    I flat out told people, "I'm paying for and planning my own wedding. I'm doing it by myself so my wedding will be exactly what I want. Not what someone else wants". Period. I said that they are welcome to give me their advice, but I'm not obligated to take their it, because for this one thing, this one time in my life...it is all about me and hubby, and not about anyone else.

    But, I'm a big-fat meanie, so I get away with that stuff. :D But it really did shut the control freaks down.

    Bottom line. Someone can't make you do something you don't want to do. It's all about boundaries. It sounds like people are violating your boundaries and that's not ok. (end psychoanalysis)
  • thebetterman
    thebetterman Posts: 657
    Pacomc79 wrote:
    seriously, totally and completely... Destination Wedding.

    Also, remember, this thing is happening regardless of whomevers opinions. Everything will work itself out. All the little annoyances will eventually be over, just try to enjoy it in the moment as much as possible because it's really really short considering all the BS that goes into it.


    Destination wedding!

    I got married a few weeks ago and we wished we went away to get married. It eliminates some problems (smaller wedding, not very many people care enough to fly/drive/swim to your wedding if its far away) but would add more (there would HAVE to be a trip there before hand to talk with people.

    Weddings will always... ALWAYS have some BS no matter what, just because there are too many people involved with too many feelings. I was pretty lucky, but there was still some drama along the way anyway. Just make sure you and your fiance are happy with whats going on. Its nobody's wedding but yours.

    And congrats by the way.
    -one thing to remember, always have a good time, all the time
  • youngster
    youngster Boston Posts: 6,576
    Just remember. It's your wedding and no one can make you do what you don't want to do.
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

    9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
    5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
    8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
    EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
  • Collin
    Collin Posts: 4,931
    Hard to plan?

    A few bottles of champagne, a keg, beer, wine and liquor, a loud trash metal band and barbeque...

    Sounds pretty easy to me.

    Oh yeah, the flowers...
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


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  • jamminpearls
    jamminpearls Posts: 7,078
    Stone Is God wrote:
    Really. My fiance and I are getting married in January and her family (mother) has been a pain in the ass to her. My fiance and I are completely on the same page. No fights about anything and we have completely supported each others choices.

    First she bitched because the sister-in-law wasn't in the ceremony. We only wanted a best man and maid of honor to keep it simple and not hurt anyone's feelings (go figure). Now because we've added the sister-in-law I have the task of choosing between 2 of my closest friends as the second person standing for me. My fiance has already picked out the dresses that she wants the girls to wear (picked out with my mom who has been so cool about everything) and I have a feeling there will be bitching.

    Funny thing about the whole deal is that we are paying for it by ourselves. Her parents don't have a lot of money, which is fine, but in my view if your not kicking in for the wedding, shut your fucking mouth and let us do what we want.

    I'm sorry, if I'm paying for 85% out of my pocket, we're going to do what we want with it.

    Am I wrong to feel this way?

    RANT OVER!!!!
    Dude do u have a bug in my house???? That is pretty much the exact problem me and my fiance are having. Wow just wow.
    Go Birds!!!!
  • jamie uk
    jamie uk Posts: 3,812
    jamminpearls wrote:
    Dude do u have a bug in my house???? That is pretty much the exact problem me and my fiance are having. Wow just wow.

    It's the problem everyone has.....it's natures way of saying...'look, don't even fucking bother'....and one day all us stupid bastards will listen to the natural warning signs.....and erm, not bother.
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
  • demetrios
    demetrios Posts: 97,853
    already know what wedding dress designer clothes to go for when i get married. the demetrios wedding dress collection! oh yeah!!

    does your church have a close by hall? here at the st. george's greek orthodox church, mostly everybody get's married upstairs in the church, and later head downstairs to the huge hall for the dinner/dancing etc..

    i'm still single but alway's have that picture of how things will go when i get married to the right woman. set etc.. as for the trip, the greek islands for the honeymoon for sure, baby! :)
  • PJaddicted
    PJaddicted Posts: 1,432
    They aren't .....mine took all of 16 days to plan.....100 people showed up, it was a blast and we are still married 26 years later! Oh and it was CHEAP too! Most of my friends had very expensive detail planned weddings....and theirs weren't any more fun or memorable then mine.

    oxc
    ~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~

    *May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*

    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    — Unknown
  • bernmodi
    bernmodi Posts: 631
    So glad we've been through that. Funny, yesterday was our 14th wedding anniversary, and I mockingly asked my husband if he wished it was 14 years ago. We were both like - Hell, no!
    I wish you and your fiancee good luck. Put all these other people in their place, the sooner the better, and don't be afraid of a confrontation! It will be the only way to get your wedding day you both want.
    I for my part didn't even get the dress I wanted, just because I didn't fight for it for family's peace sake, and yes, I'm still angry about this mistake.
  • nuffingman
    nuffingman Posts: 3,014
    Stone Is God wrote:
    Really. My fiance and I are getting married in January and her family (mother) has been a pain in the ass to her. My fiance and I are completely on the same page. No fights about anything and we have completely supported each others choices.

    First she bitched because the sister-in-law wasn't in the ceremony. We only wanted a best man and maid of honor to keep it simple and not hurt anyone's feelings (go figure). Now because we've added the sister-in-law I have the task of choosing between 2 of my closest friends as the second person standing for me. My fiance has already picked out the dresses that she wants the girls to wear (picked out with my mom who has been so cool about everything) and I have a feeling there will be bitching.

    Funny thing about the whole deal is that we are paying for it by ourselves. Her parents don't have a lot of money, which is fine, but in my view if your not kicking in for the wedding, shut your fucking mouth and let us do what we want.

    I'm sorry, if I'm paying for 85% out of my pocket, we're going to do what we want with it.

    Am I wrong to feel this way?

    RANT OVER!!!!
    Disappear and get married on a beach!

    We had a similar problem with not wanting to offend anyone, especially my mother. In the end because of illness she didn't come and most of my family didn't stay for the evening party.

    We could have been in Antigua!!!!! :mad:

    I sometimes question who the wedding is for, the bride and groom or the fuckin' relatives.

    Divorces are easier! :)

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