weight loss blues...

Collin

Heineken Helen wrote:

:( dammit. I love LOADSA mayonnaise.

It's one thing I cannot do, give up any foods that I like. I love food too much. The only time I lose weight is when I'm being active. The past couple of months I'm walking about an hour a day and I'm definitely notice a difference... and a few people have said it to me. I dunno, it's weird though cos I always feel like I'm losing weight but I still never seem to drop a clothes size or anything

So you just eat bread with mayonnaise? If I ever eat bread with mayonnaise I hope there'll be at least cheese, meat, vegetables ... on it as well. Not just mayonnaise...

Heineken Helen

Collin wrote:

I guess you're right, I don't understand.

You literally can't see the change? When you look in the mirror you see no difference at all?

Anyway, I tell my "girlfriend" she's beautiful the way she is everyday, and she is certainly beautiful. But she also thinks she's too fat and she's not happy in her own skin. I told her I'd help her exercise and coach her if she wants but I wonder if she'll ever be happy with her figure...

I'm sorry if I sound a bit harsh now but you're right it is a cycle but it can be broken, many people have done it. So if she really wants to change the way she looks or if she wants to be happy, she'll have to either accept who she is or start, like you said, sorting her lifestyle out. I've seen many people do it and I believe anyone can do it. It might take a while and it might be hard but if you really want to change you'd think you'd be willing to go through it all.

Awww your girlfriends a very lucky girl Collin I think the majority of women will never be happy with their figure and it really is sad. Cos most of those who aren't happy have tried several ways to sort it out and sometimes it simply can't be done. So if ya don't accept it, you're gonna be miserable forever.

Heineken Helen

Collin wrote:

So you just eat bread with mayonnaise? If I ever eat bread with mayonnaise I hope there'll be at least cheese, meat, vegetables ... on it as well. Not just mayonnaise...

Oh no... I eat lotsa stuff on it. Actually my favourite roll at the moment is probably seriously unhealthy but it's yum and there's no way I'm ever giving it up . It's mayonnaise on a roll with barbeque chicken, mixed salad in mayonnaise and cheese

Collin

Heineken Helen wrote:

Awww your girlfriends a very lucky girl Collin I think the majority of women will never be happy with their figure and it really is sad. Cos most of those who aren't happy have tried several ways to sort it out and sometimes it simply can't be done. So if ya don't accept it, you're gonna be miserable forever.

"Girlfriend"

And believe me, I'm the lucky one.

Collin

Heineken Helen wrote:

Oh no... I eat lotsa stuff on it. Actually my favourite roll at the moment is probably seriously unhealthy but it's yum and there's no way I'm ever giving it up . It's mayonnaise on a roll with barbeque chicken, mixed salad in mayonnaise and cheese

See, that's not bread and mayonnaise, that's just good food!

She just takes bread and puts mayonnaise on it, nothing else.

pineapplesandwaves

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

ok, so 2 years ago I took the decision to lose weight.

I joined weightwatchers and lost a huge 79lb... yes, thats nearly 6 stone, and i'm still - when I try and i'm not drinking or on holiday - losing.

You know, I find it amazing how even though i've lost such a huge amount of weight, I STILL feel huge and i'm so insecure about my body. Don't get me wrong, i'm not a petite girl anyways and never will be (Not that i'd want to be i'm alot happier being hourglass and curvy now... bums and boobs are the way forward IMO ) but considering i've lost so much, you'd think i'd be able to be proud and see myself for the size I am now and not how I used to be, but I can't get the impression of my gargantuan self out of my head!

I got weighed last night (as I do every Wednesday) and after a LUXURIOUS holiday in Belfast, I'd only put on 1/2 a lb. Sure, 'thats not too bad!' I hear you say?! So then, why the hell do I feel like a blimp and like i've put on a 14LB?!

Anyone else ever had these experiences or lost alot of weight?

I went through a similar experience as you. I lost a bunch of weight a few years ago, yet when I was losing the weight I never saw much of a difference in the mirror. Obviously, I knew I was losing weight, the scales and reduced sizes were proof, but I didn't see what everyone else saw. I'm pretty accepting of who I am and what I look like, so thankfully, I was never hard or overly frustrated with myself. I just didn't see it. It took a while for me to really notice. Funnily, my brother had the opposite problem. He was ridiculously skinny growing up, and when he went to school for police foundations and started working out, he always felt skinny. Thankfully, he's a well-adjusted guy, so didn't become one of the obsessive body builders who look like they're going to explode at any given moment. I think it happens for a lot of people. I know people who put on weight and still feel thin.

Also, I find that when you start eating right (eating healthy, reducing proportions, etc.) and you do have days or holidays when you eat as you please, you do feel a little gross afterwards because your body isn't used to eating that way.

Irish Al

6 Stone is unbelieveable...thats dedication for ya

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

(nothing annoys me more than one of my best friends, with her gorgeous size 10/12 figure crying cuz she's 'hideously fat!!!!

This quote kinda puzzled me tho, you feel that although you have lost 6 stone, you still don't feel comfortable in you skin, which is totally ligitimate, but I don't get why your friend annoys you when she says she feels fat. Is she not entitled to feel uncomfortable in her skin. I know for me, that just cause someone else might seem "worse off" than me, does not give me joy or make me feel like my personal feelings about myself aren't ok. I think you need to give your friend a bit of slack because you too can empathise about how it feels to feel uncomfortable in your skin...maybe all she needs is support (or a kick in the ass...I don't know her ).

All I'm saying is that everyone can have a distorted view of themselves and those feelings are ligitimate....jesus I rambled on there a bit...right back to work


P.S. ....and it aint only women who feel that way!

Sian-of-the-dead

Collin wrote:

Anyway, I tell my "girlfriend" she's beautiful the way she is everyday, and she is certainly beautiful. But she also thinks she's too fat and she's not happy in her own skin. I told her I'd help her exercise and coach her if she wants but I wonder if she'll ever be happy with her figure...

thats good, women need re-assurance.

I'd say to my ex, "i'm feeling fat" he'd just say... "hmm... you're not fat" even when I was at my biggest.... guess what guys... THAT DOESN'T HELP!!!
women need to have the bits they hate, loved by their man. They need to be told that they're gorgeous off a guys own back without having to dig for compliments, they need to know whats good about them and not just that they're 'not fat'. Thats the kind of thing that makes a difference.

and no, no woman will EVER be 100% happy with her body.

I actually feel sorry for men you know.... LOL

Heineken Helen

Irish Al wrote:

6 Stone is unbelieveable...thats dedication for ya



This quote kinda puzzled me tho, you feel that although you have lost 6 stone, you still don't feel comfortable in you skin, which is totally ligitimate, but I don't get why your friend annoys you when she says she feels fat. Is she not entitled to feel uncomfortable in her skin. I know for me, that just cause someone else might seem "worse off" than me, does not give me joy or make me feel like my personal feelings about myself aren't ok. I think you need to give your friend a bit of slack because you too can empathise about how it feels to feel uncomfortable in your skin...maybe all she needs is support (or a kick in the ass...I don't know her ).

All I'm saying is that everyone can have a distorted view of themselves and those feelings are ligitimate....jesus I rambled on there a bit...right back to work


P.S. ....and it aint only women who feel that way!

Great point there... I know a girl who's a size 6 and she goes on about her 'belly' :eek: her fucking WHAT? My friend lost an awful lot of weight a while ago but she didn't look healthy with it but she seemed obsessed... like she'd always make a point of eating a quarter of what was on her plate and while the rest of us were still eating she'd go on and on about how full she was and how she couldn't eat another bite. It was pretty fucking annoying but I did feel sorry for her cos I realise it doesn't matter what size people are, some will always have insecurities.

Sian-of-the-dead

Irish Al wrote:

6 Stone is unbelieveable...thats dedication for ya



This quote kinda puzzled me tho, you feel that although you have lost 6 stone, you still don't feel comfortable in you skin, which is totally ligitimate, but I don't get why your friend annoys you when she says she feels fat. Is she not entitled to feel uncomfortable in her skin. I know for me, that just cause someone else might seem "worse off" than me, does not give me joy or make me feel like my personal feelings about myself aren't ok. I think you need to give your friend a bit of slack because you too can empathise about how it feels to feel uncomfortable in your skin...maybe all she needs is support (or a kick in the ass...I don't know her ).

All I'm saying is that everyone can have a distorted view of themselves and those feelings are ligitimate....jesus I rambled on there a bit...right back to work


P.S. ....and it aint only women who feel that way!

oh it's not the fact that she has body hang ups, I understand that completely and even supported her 100% when she came to ww with me. It's the fact that she TELLS me that I don't understand when, she knew me at my biggest and has seen how far i've come, that I have a problem with.

and I know men feel the same, it's just a shame they aren't more open about it

Heineken Helen

Collin wrote:

"Girlfriend"

And believe me, I'm the lucky one.

well then you're BOTH lucky!

Collin wrote:

See, that's not bread and mayonnaise, that's just good food!

She just takes bread and puts mayonnaise on it, nothing else.

True... I'm a big big fan of messy rolls... and cheese... good god I'd have cheese with anything . I went through a phase of literally having cheese with everything and it really really works.

But yeh, bread and mayonnaise? What the fuck? Have ya tried telling her of how easy it is to make it taste sooooooooooooo much better?

Sian-of-the-dead

Heineken Helen wrote:

well then you're BOTH lucky!



True... I'm a big big fan of messy rolls... and cheese... good god I'd have cheese with anything . I went through a phase of literally having cheese with everything and it really really works.

But yeh, bread and mayonnaise? What the fuck? Have ya tried telling her of how easy it is to make it taste sooooooooooooo much better?

stop it you! you're encouraging the girl to eat more!

Heineken Helen

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

stop it you! you're encouraging the girl to eat more!

well not really... cos if she has LOTSA mayonnaise, she wouldn't need so much if there was other stuff instead... like say a BIT of mayonnaise and some salad see!

lalalalaaaaaaaa

Yea sure, I'm in the same spot basically. I'm at a healthy weight, but still not totally comfy with it yet. I think the key is just to be patient. Keep working and be patient. It just takes time. This is easier for me being a guy because I can probably block out the blues easier than you can, but still...be patient :P

Blanche

Wow. Kudos on losing 79 lbs.

While losing excess weight is a great step in boosting one's self-esteem, it's not the be-all solution.

Your self-confidence doesn't depend on what size you wear.
It's something that you can only find within yourself.
The day you do, your weight won't matter as much.

Sian-of-the-dead

Saturnal wrote:

Yea sure, I'm in the same spot basically. I'm at a healthy weight, but still not totally comfy with it yet. I think the key is just to be patient. Keep working and be patient. It just takes time. This is easier for me being a guy because I can probably block out the blues easier than you can, but still...be patient :P

Thank you, I know it's no easier for men, they get the blues too

Sian-of-the-dead

Blanche wrote:

Wow. Kudos on losing 79 lbs.

While losing excess weight is a great step in boosting one's self-esteem, it's not the be-all solution.

Your self-confidence doesn't depend on what size you wear.
It's something that you can only find within yourself.
The day you do, your weight won't matter as much.

I have to say I'm alot happier than I ever have been and alot of that hasn't much to do with weight loss, that's just the last thing I need to 'fix' as it were.

Thank you

given2fly78

absolutely! I lost 89 lbs a few years ago and I STILL have problems looking at myself in the mirror and not seeing the same face. It's weird how our mind plays tricks on us. But I have to keep an old picture of myself at my highest weight and a current picture for when I get down. It makes me realize how far I've come and how proud of myself I am.

And I AM proud of myself. Even when I gain a few pounds or don't excercise for a few days (or weeks). And when I start again I get that feeling of exuberience. And it reminds me of how much dedication I have.

And more importantly, what I've done for my health. But the mind is a mysterious thing. I've gained a little bit back, but I'm pretty sure I've come to where my body is comfortable. When I got to my lowest weight, I looked "off". Not super skinny, but I'm really chesty so I looked kind of bizarre. Got lots of cat calls and what not (granted, I've been pushing for a breast reduction for years with no avail despite back and neck problems) but I still have to fight with my head sometimes to remind myself of how far I've come and that I'm not that overweight girl anymore. I look good! And I was pretty before too, but we have to keep our confidence and remind our heads to see reality - not the past.

It's not easy! But congratulations to you! BE PROUD!

Collin

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

thats good, women need re-assurance.

I'd say to my ex, "i'm feeling fat" he'd just say... "hmm... you're not fat" even when I was at my biggest.... guess what guys... THAT DOESN'T HELP!!!
women need to have the bits they hate, loved by their man. They need to be told that they're gorgeous off a guys own back without having to dig for compliments, they need to know whats good about them and not just that they're 'not fat'. Thats the kind of thing that makes a difference.

and no, no woman will EVER be 100% happy with her body.

I actually feel sorry for men you know.... LOL

Well, I just want her to be happy and if she's not happy with the way she looks, even though they she's unbelievably gorgeous, then I will do what I can to help her... and since I'm really fond of sports I thought I'd help her out by creating a exercise routine for her. Besides it'll be fun doing it together.

Sian-of-the-dead

given2fly78 wrote:

absolutely! I lost 89 lbs a few years ago and I STILL have problems looking at myself in the mirror and not seeing the same face. It's weird how our mind plays tricks on us. But I have to keep an old picture of myself at my highest weight and a current picture for when I get down. It makes me realize how far I've come and how proud of myself I am.

And I AM proud of myself. Even when I gain a few pounds or don't excercise for a few days (or weeks). And when I start again I get that feeling of exuberience. And it reminds me of how much dedication I have.

And more importantly, what I've done for my health. But the mind is a mysterious thing. I've gained a little bit back, but I'm pretty sure I've come to where my body is comfortable. When I got to my lowest weight, I looked "off". Not super skinny, but I'm really chesty so I looked kind of bizarre. Got lots of cat calls and what not (granted, I've been pushing for a breast reduction for years with no avail despite back and neck problems) but I still have to fight with my head sometimes to remind myself of how far I've come and that I'm not that overweight girl anymore. I look good! And I was pretty before too, but we have to keep our confidence and remind our heads to see reality - not the past.

It's not easy! But congratulations to you! BE PROUD!

Thank you!

and well done to you for losing so much too! Did you do it on Weightwatchers also?
Nice to see i'm not completely crazy in my ramblings!
I also get attention off the opposite sex but it's the fact of sorting it out in your own head, that you obviously understand, that counts and thats what i'm trying to come to terms with at the moment.

weight loss is a psychological battle more than ANYTHING.