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First year university...and 2 of my friends are engaged!! Your thoughts plz?

bovy_jbovy_j Posts: 1,008
edited February 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
It just feels so weird to have two good friends of mine engaged. I don't even think either of them are nineteen yet. I was just wondering what your thoughts were on something like this.
I'm just not knowing what to think right now....I'm enjoying university and just having a good time! Not thinking of marriage!
Thanks guys/gals!
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • rival.rival. Posts: 7,775
    my advice? don't jump on the engagement bandwagon.

    enjoy single college life while you can!
  • Brain of J.LoBrain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    bovy_j wrote:
    It just feels so weird to have two good friends of mine engaged. I don't even think either of them are nineteen yet. I was just wondering what your thoughts were on something like this.
    I'm just not knowing what to think right now....I'm enjoying university and just having a good time! Not thinking of marriage!
    Thanks guys/gals!

    Well, only they can know if it's the right thing for them or not...

    But yeah, just keep enjoying your life as it is right now! :D
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    my opinion.....they will be divorced by 25.... they haven't even started they're lives and they want to get married? bad idea...
  • rearviewmirorrearviewmiror Posts: 894
    Married at 23 divorced at 30.

    19 is too young. It all end in tears.

    Or I am just bitter.
    9/7/98, 8/3/00, 9/4/00, 4/15/03, 7/1/03, 9/28/04, 9/29/04, 5/24/06, 5/25/06, 6/17/08, 6/22/08, 6/28/08, 6/30/08, 5/17/10, 10/15/13, 10/16/13.
  • ladygooddivaladygooddiva Posts: 4,169
    it is a bit young in my eyes but it is everybodys own choice i am engaged since 4 years and i have my ten years this year ...
  • bovy_jbovy_j Posts: 1,008
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    Well, only they can know if it's the right thing for them or not...

    But yeah, just keep enjoying your life as it is right now! :D

    And that's completely what I'm doing...one of my friends ended up dropping out of university because of this. My other one says she is going to stay in university to become a pharmacist...yet they think they want to have the wedding in two years.
    It's all just crazy!
  • Brain of J.LoBrain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    bovy_j wrote:
    yet they think they want to have the wedding in two years.
    It's all just crazy!

    They'll probably get over it. ;)

    I knew a lot of people that got engaged right out of high school (or even during! :eek:) and hardly any of them actually ended up marrying. People get too excited to grow up!
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    I think that's a horrible idea.

    but they may not end up getting married. some guy on my floor in college got engaged first year and they broke up like 6 months later. At that age it might not even mean anything.
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    suckas
  • PearlsGirlPearlsGirl Posts: 257
    bovy_j wrote:
    It just feels so weird to have two good friends of mine engaged. I don't even think either of them are nineteen yet. I was just wondering what your thoughts were on something like this.
    I'm just not knowing what to think right now....I'm enjoying university and just having a good time! Not thinking of marriage!
    Thanks guys/gals!

    i am totally with you! during my first year at uni, so many of my high school friends were getting married! we were just 18/19 years old! and now they have three kids each or something like that. it's so freakin' young! totally shocking that kids that young are thinking of marriage. I'm 23 now and it still freaks me out. ah! You enjoy uni, it's probably some of the best times you'll have in life, and be careful on who you decide to date. don't get serious too fast, I guess that's why these kids are now getting married.
    Don't let the world bring you down, not everyone here is that fucked up and cold. Remember why you came and while you're alive, experience the warmth before you grow old.

    Best two days of my life: Oasis at MSG and Pearl Jam at the Gorge.
  • gobrowns19gobrowns19 Posts: 1,447
    Like one poster said, only they really know.

    I have a friend who is 18 and getting married next weekend. Good guy and mature beyond his years. [but so immature in other ways, lol.]
    Happiness is only real when shared
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    PearlsGirl wrote:
    i I'm 23 now and it still freaks me out.

    I'm 30 and I am way, way too young to get married.
  • Brain of J.LoBrain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    gobrowns19 wrote:
    Like one poster said, only they really know.

    I have a friend who is 18 and getting married next weekend. Good guy and mature beyond his years. [but so immature in other ways, lol.]

    Very good point. Everyone is different, and just because something is no longer the social norm, that doesn't mean it's necessarily wrong.

    Good luck to your friend. :)
  • PearlsGirlPearlsGirl Posts: 257
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I'm 30 and I am way, way too young to get married.

    haha, i'm pretty sure i'll be feeling the exact same way in 6 years!
    Don't let the world bring you down, not everyone here is that fucked up and cold. Remember why you came and while you're alive, experience the warmth before you grow old.

    Best two days of my life: Oasis at MSG and Pearl Jam at the Gorge.
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    PearlsGirl wrote:
    haha, i'm pretty sure i'll be feeling the exact same way in 6 years!

    I really think 40-50 is the "ideal" time to get married.
  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    Obviously it's their lives and they can do what they want...

    But in my opinion, it's too young... Going into your first year of college, there are so many things changing in your life, and so many choices ahead to make. I just think that it takes a little time to get an idea of what/where you want to go with your life, and being engaged could cloud your judgment a bit.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    blackredyellow wrote:
    Obviously it's their lives and they can do what they want...

    But in my opinion, it's too young... Going into your first year of college, there are so many things changing in your life, and so many choices ahead to make. I just think that it takes a little time to get an idea of what/where you want to go with your life, and being engaged could cloud your judgment a bit.

    what I don't get about people getting married so young and in college and everything, is like, what benefit does it have? I mean what does it offer over just being boyfriend and girlfriend at that point? I'm not even sure there's a ton of benefits (except for taxes and stuff) when you're older. Especially if you're in college, you're (hopefully) not going to be trying to have kids for several years anyway.
  • acoustic guyacoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    If a couple want to get married they should have to live together first for two years. ANd they should have to go to marriage counseling.I mean before they are married. Then, if all is well get married.
    My wife and I are great buy the first year was really hard. I dated many girls and some for along time but I never lived with them. My wife was the first.
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • Brain of J.LoBrain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    acoustic guy wrote:
    If a couple want to get married they should have to live together first for two years. ANd they should have to go to marriage counseling.I mean before they are married. Then, if all is well get married.
    My wife and I are great buy the first year was really hard. I dated many girls and some for along time but I never lived with them. My wife was the first.

    I think that's a great idea. That's exactly what we did. You have to know what you're getting into! ;):D
  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    what I don't get about people getting married so young and in college and everything, is like, what benefit does it have? I mean what does it offer over just being boyfriend and girlfriend at that point? I'm not even sure there's a ton of benefits (except for taxes and stuff) when you're older. Especially if you're in college, you're (hopefully) not going to be trying to have kids for several years anyway.

    I agree... I can't understand people who get married in college either. Engagement I can sort of understand... it's the love of your life (at least at that time), and you want to commit to them, blah blah blah.... I don't agree with it, but I understand and it can be easily undone. But marriage is such a big step.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • bovy_jbovy_j Posts: 1,008
    acoustic guy wrote:
    If a couple want to get married they should have to live together first for two years. ANd they should have to go to marriage counseling.I mean before they are married. Then, if all is well get married.
    My wife and I are great buy the first year was really hard. I dated many girls and some for along time but I never lived with them. My wife was the first.

    I'm actually with you on that also! (Even if I'm sickened by how quick those two couples think they've grown up).
    I knew that one of the couples would eventually grow and get married, they're just those high school sweethearts everyone sees making it, but so soon!
    The other couple (the one with the girl who dropped university) has been dating for maybe 6 months?
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    bad idea.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • LesbelgesLesbelges Posts: 434
    bovy_j wrote:
    It just feels so weird to have two good friends of mine engaged. I don't even think either of them are nineteen yet. I was just wondering what your thoughts were on something like this.
    I'm just not knowing what to think right now....I'm enjoying university and just having a good time! Not thinking of marriage!
    Thanks guys/gals!


    Boyyyyy if you feel weird now, you will feel really weird when they start divorcing!
    Cincinnati '03 Flooded venue!
    Bridge School '06 Night 1 & 2
    Venice '07 pummeled by the sleet! 
    Nijmegen '07
    Werchter '07
    April Fools ~ LA1
  • holtzholtz Posts: 509
    I'd be surprised if they even make it to marriage, give it time they'll wise up. I've had friends get married young or quickly after meeting and they barely make it past 5 years before getting divorced and usually spent most of the time married miserable.
  • Vedd HeddVedd Hedd Posts: 4,598
    holtz wrote:
    I'd be surprised if they even make it to marriage, give it time they'll wise up. I've had friends get married young or quickly after meeting and they barely make it past 5 years before getting divorced and usually spent most of the time married miserable.


    Ditto.

    I had friends who got married in college.....now divorced....
    Turn this anger into
    Nuclear fission
  • Drowned OutDrowned Out Posts: 6,056
    meh...
    might as well get the first one out of the way while you're young.
  • GraySaturdayGraySaturday Posts: 2,878
    I got engaged my senior year of college.. I had just turned 22.. I guess its all up to the people involved.. for some it works well, for others its a big disaster..

    Best of luck to your friends
  • Gossard_Is_GodGossard_Is_God Posts: 1,031
    getting engaged is somewhat of a novelty!
    Pearl Jam - London Astoria 20/4/06....One hell of a night :)

    Reading 2006 - WOOOOW!!!!!

    Paris 2006 - Fucking amazing

    Wembley 2007 :D
  • IAmMyselfIAmMyself Posts: 671
    I would be miserable if I would have married the man I was engaged to while in college. I'm 35 now and still single, thank god! I'm pretty sure I want to get married someday, but not in a hurry!
    "Please help me to help you, help yourself." EV
  • boxwine_in_hellboxwine_in_hell Posts: 1,263
    bovy_j wrote:
    It just feels so weird to have two good friends of mine engaged. I don't even think either of them are nineteen yet. I was just wondering what your thoughts were on something like this.
    I'm just not knowing what to think right now....I'm enjoying university and just having a good time! Not thinking of marriage!
    Thanks guys/gals!

    As someone that is on his second marriage I can honestly say, bad idea. That's way too young to get married. Everyone is a jackass when they're 19 and throw the stress of marriage on top of that and it's a lethal combination.
    one foot in the door
    the other foot in the gutter
    sweet smell that they adore
    I think I'd rather smother
    -The Replacements-
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