why don't they get it!!!

24

Comments

  • WildChildRose
    WildChildRose Posts: 568
    You are fooling yourself by saying that you are not attracted to men anymore. I call BS. Just a few weeks ago you were asking how to get a guy to like you. I think you're selling yourself short. If you don't like your weight and looks, do something about it. Lose some weight and try proactive. And get back out there bc you're 30 now, do you want to still be wondering what it's like to have a BF when you're 40?? You're only going to waste time pretending to not be interested.
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • Steve Dunne
    Steve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    OK hold the phone here...

    if 'the pill' you're referring to on page 1 is really 'the pill'

    AND

    you're not interested in sex - male or female

    then why take the pill?
    I love to turn you on
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    WildChildRose wrote:
    You are fooling yourself by saying that you are not attracted to men anymore. I call BS. Just a few weeks ago you were asking how to get a guy to like you. I think you're selling yourself short. If you don't like your weight and looks, do something about it. Lose some weight and try proactive. And get back out there bc you're 30 now, do you want to still be wondering what it's like to have a BF when you're 40?? You're only going to waste time pretending to not be interested.

    I know I posted that, and as you'll recall, I was saying it was because some day I hope I want to date again and I want to know how to do it.

    it's not bullshit at all- I absolutely have zero interest in men. I don't know how else I can exaplain it. if you don't believe me, but it's 100% true.

    I can't lose weight. I don't even know how I gained it in the first place. I'm a model of health. I have proactive, it's not doing anything. My looks are not the issue here! why does everyone try to bring that into it?

    ok i can't take this disucssion in the state I am in today, I did not want it to go this way...I can't not with the pmdd symptoms I am alrteady having. I have to go home.,....
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Steve Dunne wrote:
    OK hold the phone here...

    if 'the pill' you're referring to on page 1 is really 'the pill'

    AND

    you're not interested in sex - male or female

    then why take the pill?

    the pill corrects many medical problems, people don't take it just for the sole purpose of contraception. I can't ever not take it, my periods are too severe.
  • PJ_Saluki
    PJ_Saluki Posts: 1,006
    Hey, I can understand where you're coming from. I go through stretches when I'm not interested in dating. My friends can't seem to understand it.
    "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool." -- Charles Barkley
  • WildChildRose
    WildChildRose Posts: 568
    I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to upset you. I hope you feel better. I understand PMDD!
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    they did though. it was actually all around the time I met my last boyfriend- christmas 2006. I had a boyfriend for almost a year and even though I felt very close to him I just wasn't as into it as I thought it should be. they did coincide. I'm not trying to "make myself feel better"- not in the least. I'm very surprised at how little interest I have in men, but in many ways I am very happy that I don't because I couldn't get them now if I tried (it just upsets me because I'm afraid it's a physiological problem of some sort). In fact, I TRY to get myself to be interested in men or sex, and I can't- I don't like thinking about it, it seems unnatural to me or something. I don't really feel like human at all anymore, just kind of a robot.
    granted, however - let me play devil's advocate a little bit here:

    suppose with me for a second, that your weight gain and your acne actually influcenced your feelings of sensuality and created a feeling in you of not feeling attractive...that would in turn make you adjust your sexual desires and needs...it may be a very "oprah-ish" statement but you must feel desirable in order to desire...so once again, I humbly suggest that they are not "coincidences" but the one leading to the other...regardless of having an available man present, if you felt fat and pimply (I do NOT mean that in a mean spirited way...I am merely suggesting that the mirror was NOT what you wanted to see) you may not be feeling like having him near your face, or near your body since it is not something that you are happy with.

    well, at any rate - you believe what you want to believe about yourself...I hope that soon you believe that you are worth owning not as a future you..."with a little weight off, with clear skin, after I get on a diet etc.," but but as you are NOW...

    and the interest in men and sex will come when you are desirable to yourself.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Steve Dunne
    Steve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    the pill corrects many medical problems, people don't take it just for the sole purpose of contraception. I can't ever not take it, my periods are too severe.

    *covering eyes while violently shaking head*

    TMI! TMI! TMI!

    Ok, well good luck with your dr. appt. My last physical lasted about 45 minutes...without the rubber glove! :D
    I love to turn you on
  • polaris
    polaris Posts: 3,527
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    the pill corrects many medical problems, people don't take it just for the sole purpose of contraception. I can't ever not take it, my periods are too severe.

    the pill also throws off your hormones which could lead to other conditions ... i would look into your conditions further and humbly suggest looking to solutions that aren't from the pharmaceuticals ...
  • Get_Right
    Get_Right Posts: 14,167
    Steve Dunne wrote:
    *covering eyes while violently shaking head*

    TMI! TMI! TMI!

    Ok, well good luck with your dr. appt. My last physical lasted about 45 minutes...without the rubber glove! :D


    MOON RIVER
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Steve Dunne wrote:
    *covering eyes while violently shaking head*

    TMI! TMI! TMI!

    Ok, well good luck with your dr. appt. My last physical lasted about 45 minutes...without the rubber glove! :D

    how is that TMI???
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    failedpersephone wrote:
    granted, however - let me play devil's advocate a little bit here:

    suppose with me for a second, that your weight gain and your acne actually influcenced your feelings of sensuality and created a feeling in you of not feeling attractive...that would in turn make you adjust your sexual desires and needs...it may be a very "oprah-ish" statement but you must feel desirable in order to desire...so once again, I humbly suggest that they are not "coincidences" but the one leading to the other...regardless of having an available man present, if you felt fat and pimply (I do NOT mean that in a mean spirited way...I am merely suggesting that the mirror was NOT what you wanted to see) you may not be feeling like having him near your face, or near your body since it is not something that you are happy with.

    well, at any rate - you believe what you want to believe about yourself...I hope that soon you believe that you are worth owning not as a future you..."with a little weight off, with clear skin, after I get on a diet etc.," but but as you are NOW...

    and the interest in men and sex will come when you are desirable to yourself.

    I see what you are saying, it could even be partially part of my case, I don't know. but even if it were true, it doesn't really change anything. I'm still not interested in dating, so people should just stop hounding me about it.
  • Jeanie
    Jeanie Posts: 9,446
    GTD, ring the doctor's surgery and see if you can get an earlier appointment. Ask to be slotted into a cancellation if you can.
    Write a list of all the stuff you need to talk to your doctor about and make sure you go through the list with your doctor.

    Don't worry about which came first, (chicken or egg) when it comes to desire or hormonal problems affecting your desire, I suspect that once you've had some investigations done by your doctor that you will have a much clearer picture about what is going on with you and armed with some knowledge of what is going on you can sort out a better situation for yourself.

    With regard to the friends attempting to set you up, well friends will do that DESPITE your protestations, I guess it's just something we all have to learn to live with. You know how you're feeling right now and what you are interested in and what you are not interested in. Just smile at them and do your own thing anyway.
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    polaris wrote:
    the pill also throws off your hormones which could lead to other conditions ... i would look into your conditions further and humbly suggest looking to solutions that aren't from the pharmaceuticals ...

    I know, I was against using the pill for years and years. nothing worked, it just kept getting worse. finally I gave in and I have half the pain, and I only gain a good 5 lbs instead of 10. I'm terrified of going off.
  • polaris
    polaris Posts: 3,527
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I know, I was against using the pill for years and years. nothing worked, it just kept getting worse. finally I gave in and I have half the pain, and I only gain a good 5 lbs instead of 10. I'm terrified of going off.

    have you seen a naturapath?
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    polaris wrote:
    have you seen a naturapath?

    a couple times back in college.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I see what you are saying, it could even be partially part of my case, I don't know. but even if it were true, it doesn't really change anything. I'm still not interested in dating, so people should just stop hounding me about it.
    That is true, if you are not interested, they should respect your decisions...however, as a friend, if someone that I knew underwent a change physically...and also made a manifesto regarding dating that seemed to be a change from their previous position, I would try to get her out of it...and that would include a bit of cajoling...

    as for it not changing anything if it is true - I have to disagree. knowing this about yourself, CAN lead to you accepting your current status.
    I would like to take a moment to apologize about "turning into your looks" but it just seemed that your down on yourself statement in this thread made me perk up. believe me, I have been there. I did not think I was ever anything enough...it was always going to be a little tweaking and THEN I would like myself...and that sucked.

    So, I don't think it is about your friends not accepting your decision so much as their acting as your friends and refusing to let you shortchange yourself.

    accept that proactive isn't working for you. accept that you are overweight. if you are otherwise healthy, just accept the size you ARE, and then dress yourself to your current size, accept your current size we are not all meant to be small boned, small sized and starving to remain so. We don't all have flawless skin, and perfect hair...but we all have our moments, and loving ourselves shows in our walk and in the way we value ourselves...

    accept yourself...it is a changed you...but your essences is still there...it is still YOU...and you are still living, and thinking and feeling you are not a robot. you are a human...realized, and developing.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • meme
    meme Posts: 4,695
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    how is that TMI???

    here's GTD in a nutshell :D
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    failedpersephone wrote:

    So, I don't think it is about your friends not accepting your decision so much as their acting as your friends and refusing to let you shortchange yourself.

    well I think this is the problem, I think they think it is just that. but I tried to explain it isn't. and even if it is, it isn't so easily changeable and it makes me feel worse when they persist.
    failedpersephone wrote:
    accept that proactive isn't working for you. accept that you are overweight. if you are otherwise healthy, just accept the size you ARE, and then dress yourself to your current size, accept your current size we are not all meant to be small boned, small sized and starving to remain so. We don't all have flawless skin, and perfect hair...but we all have our moments, and loving ourselves shows in our walk and in the way we value ourselves...

    I accepted all this stuff a long long time ago...my smallest weight when I was barely eating (due to medications and hormones- it seems like my entire appetite/weight is completely controlled by these things) and doing triathlons I weighed 155, and I could barely sustain that. I'm big underneath, and I accept that. but I gained 40lbs of fat in like 2 months. and then the acne is not an issue of perfect skin...it's having relatively fine skin and then all of a sudden having my entire face explode, for no reason. everyone says "go on the pill!" I'm already on it!!
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    yeah I guess, I usually do...I think it's just bothering more today because I'm sensitive to things today anyway...but it just reminds me of how not normal I am and then it gets me thinking about it...

    Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure your friends mean well, they just don't understand. That's not their fault. You can't blame them for that, they're still your friends though.

    Sorry you feel like a robot. :( Hopefully we're making you feel better, not worse. :D And for the record, you're braver than I am. :D;)

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