why don't they get it!!!

GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
edited March 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
next weekend my two friends and I are going on a ski trip with lots of people whom we don't know. we are making plans via email and one of my friends goes, "well I think there will be single guys there for GTD." I've told her 1000 times: I am not attracted to men anymore! (I'm not attracted to women either, for those of you who are wondering). I'm just not, I have completely lost any desire to ever be with a guy again, in any sort of romantic/sexual/dating capacity. I don't know WHY this happened, all I know is it did (and I'm kind of luckily it did, because given that I weigh over 200 lbs and have a face full of acne, it would suck if I wanted to date and couldn't). I'm just tired of my friendsmaking me feel bad because I don't want to date!!! why do they keep talking about me meeting guys ans stuff??? It's as if they think I'm lying or it's just something I'll get over or something. It is really upsetting me!
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Comments

  • moxiemoxie Posts: 80
    Big girls need love too.

    And fat bottom girls make the rockin' world go 'round.
    I have dogs instead of children... I'd rather ruin my carpet than my life.
  • upina2001upina2001 Posts: 764
    (and I'm kind of luckily it did, because given that I weigh over 200 lbs and have a face full of acne, it would suck if I wanted to date and couldn't).


    maybe they are trying to boost your self-confidence.

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  • upina2001 wrote:
    maybe they are trying to boost your self-confidence.

    I was just explaining why I haven't really minded my lack of interest in men. it's actually worked out pretty well because the two coincided with each other.
  • The ChampThe Champ Posts: 4,063
    I am not attracted to men anymore! (I'm not attracted to women either, for those of you who are wondering). I'm just not, I have completely lost any desire to ever be with a guy again, in any sort of romantic/sexual/dating capacity

    Judging by the above, you should definitely consider seeing the doc prior to your physical appointment..
    'I want to hurry home to you
    put on a slow, dumb show for you
    and crack you up
    so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
    god I'm very, very frightening
    and I'll overdo it'
  • tybirdtybird Posts: 17,388
    Trick #1 is not to get angry, frustrated, loud or mean about the subject when it is raised. A simple "whatever" or "umkay" will do. The more you fight, the more that they will try.
    All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a thousand enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.
  • The Champ wrote:
    Judging by the above, you should definitely consider seeing the doc prior to your physical appointment..

    well it is one of the things I plan to discuss. but even if is either 1)due to my medication and if it is I'll just have to deal with it because I'm never going off the pill or 2) a medical problem of some sort why don't they get it??? why do they still have to make me feel bad about it!
  • DaytimeDilemmaDaytimeDilemma Posts: 2,008
    Dude, just chill out. Your friends are trying to help you is all.



    I mean it's meeting guys with friends or posting on a Pearl Jam message board all day long.


    Which seems healthier to you?
  • tybird wrote:
    Trick #1 is not to get angry, frustrated, loud or mean about the subject when it is raised. A simple "whatever" or "umkay" will do. The more you fight, the more that they will try.

    I feel like this is what I have been doing...it's very frustrating. at this last comment I just wrote back and said "I'm not interested in meeting any single men."
  • Dude, just chill out. Your friends are trying to help you is all.



    I mean it's meeting guys with friends or posting on a Pearl Jam message board all day long.


    Which seems healthier to you?


    well I have to sit a computer at work all day, with no other outlet when something upsets me (and I'm premenstrual, so everything's been making me upset/cry the past 2 days anyway).

    but how would it help? it's like they're just not thinking...
  • tybirdtybird Posts: 17,388
    I feel like this is what I have been doing...it's very frustrating. at this last comment I just wrote back and said "I'm not interested in meeting any single men."
    Tell 'em you're only interested in married men....;) :D:p I would just quit saying it or reminding them of the fact....say it once, and then live it.
    All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a thousand enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.
  • DaytimeDilemmaDaytimeDilemma Posts: 2,008
    well I have to sit a computer at work all day, with no other outlet when something upsets me.

    but how would it help? it's like they're just not thinking...



    Just be thankful you have friends who are there trying to get you to meet people.


    Or you can just be content with being a cat lady and sit around and feed your cats and the neighborhood kids talk about how you are the crazy cat lady with all the cats.
  • Get_RightGet_Right Posts: 13,145
    id save your energy for something more positive

    they are only trying to help

    be glad you have friends that care
  • Just be thankful you have friends who are there trying to get you to meet people.


    Or you can just be content with being a cat lady and sit around and feed your cats and the neighborhood kids talk about how you are the crazy cat lady with all the cats.

    I can't ever be the cat lady. I'm deathly allergic to cats. (which is sad, cuz I really want a little black one with white boots)

    and I am crazy, at least at certain times of the month like today. it's probably all the medication to control the monthly craziness that is causing the problem in question in the first place!
  • Get_Right wrote:
    id save your energy for something more positive

    they are only trying to help

    be glad you have friends that care

    I feel like they are like sticking it to me or something though...I don't know I can't explain it.
  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,515
    well it is one of the things I plan to discuss. but even if is either 1)due to my medication and if it is I'll just have to deal with it because I'm never going off the pill or 2) a medical problem of some sort why don't they get it??? why do they still have to make me feel bad about it!

    Seems like you let them make you feel bad about it.
  • Get_RightGet_Right Posts: 13,145
    I feel like they are like sticking it to me or something though...I don't know I can't explain it.

    you might be thinking about it too much

    just say " whatever" and go with the flow (sorry bad choice of words!)
  • Get_Right wrote:
    you might be thinking about it too much

    just say " whatever" and go with the flow (sorry bad choice of words!)

    yeah I guess, I usually do...I think it's just bothering more today because I'm sensitive to things today anyway...but it just reminds me of how not normal I am and then it gets me thinking about it...
  • Get_RightGet_Right Posts: 13,145
    yeah I guess, I usually do...I think it's just bothering more today because I'm sensitive to things today anyway...but it just reminds me of how not normal I am and then it gets me thinking about it...

    you are normal

    its the world thats f*cked!
    :D
  • I don't think the two things (you described) "coincided" I think that the one lead to the other and it's a way of protecting yourself from being hurt and being rejected based on appearance.

    your friends are trying to lift you from a funk...you may not recognize it as a funk, but if they are close/good friends you might want to trust their judgment on the changes you have been experiencing.

    They are trying to help you...and they mean well. It is not necessarily a healthy thing to proclaim that you are done with ANY and ALL socializations with men.

    but I am sure you are going to have a response to each of my points indicating that I am WAY off...and of course I am, since I do not know you...this is strictly my opinion based on what you have projected in this thread.

    I wish you health and happiness, and hope that you don't continue to get knee-jerky based on your premenstrual hormonal changes and ostracize or wig out on your friends based on their attempts to include you in socializing practices.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • I don't think the two things (you described) "coincided" I think that the one lead to the other and it's a way of protecting yourself from being hurt and being rejected based on appearance.

    they did though. it was actually all around the time I met my last boyfriend- christmas 2006. I had a boyfriend for almost a year and even though I felt very close to him I just wasn't as into it as I thought it should be. they did coincide. I'm not trying to "make myself feel better"- not in the least. I'm very surprised at how little interest I have in men, but in many ways I am very happy that I don't because I couldn't get them now if I tried (it just upsets me because I'm afraid it's a physiological problem of some sort). In fact, I TRY to get myself to be interested in men or sex, and I can't- I don't like thinking about it, it seems unnatural to me or something. I don't really feel like human at all anymore, just kind of a robot.
  • You are fooling yourself by saying that you are not attracted to men anymore. I call BS. Just a few weeks ago you were asking how to get a guy to like you. I think you're selling yourself short. If you don't like your weight and looks, do something about it. Lose some weight and try proactive. And get back out there bc you're 30 now, do you want to still be wondering what it's like to have a BF when you're 40?? You're only going to waste time pretending to not be interested.
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    OK hold the phone here...

    if 'the pill' you're referring to on page 1 is really 'the pill'

    AND

    you're not interested in sex - male or female

    then why take the pill?
    I love to turn you on
  • You are fooling yourself by saying that you are not attracted to men anymore. I call BS. Just a few weeks ago you were asking how to get a guy to like you. I think you're selling yourself short. If you don't like your weight and looks, do something about it. Lose some weight and try proactive. And get back out there bc you're 30 now, do you want to still be wondering what it's like to have a BF when you're 40?? You're only going to waste time pretending to not be interested.

    I know I posted that, and as you'll recall, I was saying it was because some day I hope I want to date again and I want to know how to do it.

    it's not bullshit at all- I absolutely have zero interest in men. I don't know how else I can exaplain it. if you don't believe me, but it's 100% true.

    I can't lose weight. I don't even know how I gained it in the first place. I'm a model of health. I have proactive, it's not doing anything. My looks are not the issue here! why does everyone try to bring that into it?

    ok i can't take this disucssion in the state I am in today, I did not want it to go this way...I can't not with the pmdd symptoms I am alrteady having. I have to go home.,....
  • OK hold the phone here...

    if 'the pill' you're referring to on page 1 is really 'the pill'

    AND

    you're not interested in sex - male or female

    then why take the pill?

    the pill corrects many medical problems, people don't take it just for the sole purpose of contraception. I can't ever not take it, my periods are too severe.
  • PJ_SalukiPJ_Saluki Posts: 1,006
    Hey, I can understand where you're coming from. I go through stretches when I'm not interested in dating. My friends can't seem to understand it.
    "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool." -- Charles Barkley
  • I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to upset you. I hope you feel better. I understand PMDD!
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • they did though. it was actually all around the time I met my last boyfriend- christmas 2006. I had a boyfriend for almost a year and even though I felt very close to him I just wasn't as into it as I thought it should be. they did coincide. I'm not trying to "make myself feel better"- not in the least. I'm very surprised at how little interest I have in men, but in many ways I am very happy that I don't because I couldn't get them now if I tried (it just upsets me because I'm afraid it's a physiological problem of some sort). In fact, I TRY to get myself to be interested in men or sex, and I can't- I don't like thinking about it, it seems unnatural to me or something. I don't really feel like human at all anymore, just kind of a robot.
    granted, however - let me play devil's advocate a little bit here:

    suppose with me for a second, that your weight gain and your acne actually influcenced your feelings of sensuality and created a feeling in you of not feeling attractive...that would in turn make you adjust your sexual desires and needs...it may be a very "oprah-ish" statement but you must feel desirable in order to desire...so once again, I humbly suggest that they are not "coincidences" but the one leading to the other...regardless of having an available man present, if you felt fat and pimply (I do NOT mean that in a mean spirited way...I am merely suggesting that the mirror was NOT what you wanted to see) you may not be feeling like having him near your face, or near your body since it is not something that you are happy with.

    well, at any rate - you believe what you want to believe about yourself...I hope that soon you believe that you are worth owning not as a future you..."with a little weight off, with clear skin, after I get on a diet etc.," but but as you are NOW...

    and the interest in men and sex will come when you are desirable to yourself.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    the pill corrects many medical problems, people don't take it just for the sole purpose of contraception. I can't ever not take it, my periods are too severe.

    *covering eyes while violently shaking head*

    TMI! TMI! TMI!

    Ok, well good luck with your dr. appt. My last physical lasted about 45 minutes...without the rubber glove! :D
    I love to turn you on
  • polarispolaris Posts: 3,527
    the pill corrects many medical problems, people don't take it just for the sole purpose of contraception. I can't ever not take it, my periods are too severe.

    the pill also throws off your hormones which could lead to other conditions ... i would look into your conditions further and humbly suggest looking to solutions that aren't from the pharmaceuticals ...
  • Get_RightGet_Right Posts: 13,145
    *covering eyes while violently shaking head*

    TMI! TMI! TMI!

    Ok, well good luck with your dr. appt. My last physical lasted about 45 minutes...without the rubber glove! :D


    MOON RIVER
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