these dreams are driving me nuts. any insights?

GreenTeaDisease
GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
edited December 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
7 or 8 years ago I stopped hanging out with a really close friend for some weird reasons that I don't think either of us really understood (I ran into him about 3 years ago and we kind of joked about it, but that's the only time I've seen him since). So anyway, for all this time, I've dreamed about him fairly regularly but haven't thought much of it because I ALWAYS dream about weird people from my past, some people who I barely even knew, going back to elementary school. But in the past like year, this guy has become more and more often and more and more the center of my dreams, and disturbingly, more and more romantic themes have been popping up around him (our friendship was 99% platonic). So every time I dream about him, I wake up in a fog, like I can barely wake up at all, and the whole time i'm in this fog I'm just regretting decisions I made like 8 years ago that led to the downfall of our friendship, etc. and I don't get why I am all of a sudden having all these dreams, because it's not like I think about him during my waking hours at all. But the effect they have on me after I wake up is really annoying! Has anyone had this before? How do I stop the dreams?
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Comments

  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Yes. Usually when I'm slowly developing feelings for a really close friend. If nothing comes of it, it's murder. When something does, this is the best kind of relationship.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Yes. Usually when I'm slowly developing feelings for a really close friend. If nothing comes of it, it's murder. When something does, this is the best kind of relationship.

    ? huh. I'm not developing feelings for him, I haven't seen him in 3 years, and it was like 3 or 4 years before that.
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    ? huh. I'm not developing feelings for him, I haven't seen him in 3 years, and it was like 3 or 4 years before that.

    The subconscious mind does some funny stuff.... you used to be close, right? 3 or 4 years isn't very long for the brain.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    The subconscious mind does some funny stuff.... you used to be close, right? 3 or 4 years isn't very long for the brain.

    I guess....so like maybe my subconscious mind is just now figuring out that I had feelings for this person like 7 years ago?

    is there a way to stop the dreams?
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I guess....so like maybe my subconscious mind is just now figuring out that I had feelings for this person like 7 years ago?

    is there a way to stop the dreams?

    Yeah, I'm guessing so.. even if you wouldn't pursue anything, your mind is probably wondering whether you should have done.. even if you can't tell.

    Only way to stop the dreams is to see how he's doing, I'm guessing... either he feels something, or he doesn't; maybe he's with someone... Then your mind can be at rest and you can sleep.

    Dreams usually happen when the brain has unfinished business.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Linda
    Linda Posts: 1,656
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I guess....so like maybe my subconscious mind is just now figuring out that I had feelings for this person like 7 years ago?

    is there a way to stop the dreams?

    yep, but you have to see the guy first...
    i'm not happy yet.....
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Yeah, I'm guessing so.. even if you wouldn't pursue anything, your mind is probably wondering whether you should have done.. even if you can't tell.

    Only way to stop the dreams is to see how he's doing, I'm guessing... either he feels something, or he doesn't; maybe he's with someone... Then your mind can be at rest and you can sleep.

    Dreams usually happen when the brain has unfinished business.

    eh, I'd actually love to get in touch and find out how he's doing, and I've tried in the past-to send christmas cards and stuff. but I can't find him. last time I saw him was right before I moved, and he was thinking of moving too. I tried googling him and stuff not too long ago, to no avail (of course, after a dream). I'm screwed if getting in touch is the only way to stop them!

    and I think he is with someone. he could actually be married.
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    eh, I'd actually love to get in touch and find out how he's doing, and I've tried in the past-to send christmas cards and stuff. but I can't find him. last time I saw him was right before I moved, and he was thinking of moving too. I tried googling him and stuff not too long ago, to no avail (of course, after a dream). I'm screwed if getting in touch is the only way to stop them!

    and I think he is with someone. he could actually be married.

    Well if you can find that out and see them together, the dreams will stop....

    Incidentally, my sister couldn't stand the sight of her husband when they first met. Now she's madly in love with him. I don't she even found him good looking at first.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Well if you can find that out and see them together, the dreams will stop....

    Incidentally, my sister couldn't stand the sight of her husband when they first met. Now she's madly in love with him. I don't she even found him good looking at first.

    Well I saw them together the last time. they weren't married though. I really liked her.

    That's nice for your sister...but I'm missing the point?
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    Well I saw them together the last time. they weren't married though. I really liked her.

    That's nice for your sister...but I'm missing the point?

    Sorry.. my only point is that our mind can play funny tricks on us. You think you feel one way, and then WHAMMMO..

    LOL I said WHAMMO
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Sorry.. my only point is that our mind can play funny tricks on us. You think you feel one way, and then WHAMMMO..

    LOL I said WHAMMO

    well I mean at the time there were moments (moments) where I was a bit torn, that's why I said we were 99% platonic...so it's not really a surprise thing. I just want the dreams to stop. it was 7 years ago and the dreams make me all foggy all morning!
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    my suggestion is to have sex. clearly, you are sexually and romantically frustrated and it's creeping into your dreams and directing that energy into a safe spot. but if you want the dreams to stop, you've got to do something with it in real life.

    dr. c has spoken.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    soulsinging wrote:
    my suggestion is to have sex. clearly, you are sexually and romantically frustrated and it's creeping into your dreams and directing that energy into a safe spot. but if you want the dreams to stop, you've got to do something with it in real life.

    dr. c has spoken.

    haha I am the least sexually and romantically frustrated I have been in my whole life! I don't want a guy at all!

    infact, these dreams started to pick up intensity about a year ago, and for 9 months out of that year I had a boyfriend.
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    haha I am the least sexually and romantically frustrated I have been in my whole life! I don't want a guy at all!

    infact, these dreams started to pick up intensity about a year ago, and for 9 months out of that year I had a boyfriend.

    That's why I think I'm on the money with this one...

    Smug face :cool: can you see my smugface?
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    That's why I think I'm on the money with this one...

    Smug face :cool: can you see my smugface?

    on the money on what point?

    sorry just trying to get everything.
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    on the money on what point?

    sorry just trying to get everything.

    Haha... that this is about feelings and not sex.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Haha... that this is about feelings and not sex.

    haha ok. well I could have told you that! :) but of course soulsinging thinks everything is about sex...
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    haha ok. well I could have told you that! :) but of course soulsinging thinks everything is about sex...

    Yep, he's a neo-Freudian.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    haha ok. well I could have told you that! :) but of course soulsinging thinks everything is about sex...

    nah, i'm just messing about. i don't believe dreams mean anything. i had a period a little while back where i dreamed about my ex almost every night for a month. it was a bit off-putting the first time, but whatever, it's just a dream. eventually, it went away. the more you think about them, the more you will have them. if you place some huge significance upon a dream, it's just going to make it more likely to occur again.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    soulsinging wrote:
    nah, i'm just messing about. i don't believe dreams mean anything. i had a period a little while back where i dreamed about my ex almost every night for a month. it was a bit off-putting the first time, but whatever, it's just a dream. eventually, it went away. the more you think about them, the more you will have them. if you place some huge significance upon a dream, it's just going to make it more likely to occur again.

    I agree. this morning it just severely messed me up though, as they often do. it's like I'm trapped in them even after I am physically awake. makes me late for work and whatnot.

    I think harmless has a point that me and this guy have some unresolved issues that I've really just pushed back for a long time and now maybe they are trying to come forward. I don't know if the romantic parts of the dreams really means anything. I think it's just how our relationship just ended and everything was unresolved and weird between us. When it comes down to it, I think I just miss the guy...he was like a brother to me for a long time.

    I would like the dreams to stop though. as I said, except for just after they happen, I don't think about them or him all that much, but they still seem to happen a few times a week.

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