these dreams are driving me nuts. any insights?

GreenTeaDisease

7 or 8 years ago I stopped hanging out with a really close friend for some weird reasons that I don't think either of us really understood (I ran into him about 3 years ago and we kind of joked about it, but that's the only time I've seen him since). So anyway, for all this time, I've dreamed about him fairly regularly but haven't thought much of it because I ALWAYS dream about weird people from my past, some people who I barely even knew, going back to elementary school. But in the past like year, this guy has become more and more often and more and more the center of my dreams, and disturbingly, more and more romantic themes have been popping up around him (our friendship was 99% platonic). So every time I dream about him, I wake up in a fog, like I can barely wake up at all, and the whole time i'm in this fog I'm just regretting decisions I made like 8 years ago that led to the downfall of our friendship, etc. and I don't get why I am all of a sudden having all these dreams, because it's not like I think about him during my waking hours at all. But the effect they have on me after I wake up is really annoying! Has anyone had this before? How do I stop the dreams?

harmless_little_f***

Yes. Usually when I'm slowly developing feelings for a really close friend. If nothing comes of it, it's murder. When something does, this is the best kind of relationship.

GreenTeaDisease

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Yes. Usually when I'm slowly developing feelings for a really close friend. If nothing comes of it, it's murder. When something does, this is the best kind of relationship.

? huh. I'm not developing feelings for him, I haven't seen him in 3 years, and it was like 3 or 4 years before that.

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

? huh. I'm not developing feelings for him, I haven't seen him in 3 years, and it was like 3 or 4 years before that.

The subconscious mind does some funny stuff.... you used to be close, right? 3 or 4 years isn't very long for the brain.

GreenTeaDisease

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

The subconscious mind does some funny stuff.... you used to be close, right? 3 or 4 years isn't very long for the brain.

I guess....so like maybe my subconscious mind is just now figuring out that I had feelings for this person like 7 years ago?

is there a way to stop the dreams?

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I guess....so like maybe my subconscious mind is just now figuring out that I had feelings for this person like 7 years ago?

is there a way to stop the dreams?

Yeah, I'm guessing so.. even if you wouldn't pursue anything, your mind is probably wondering whether you should have done.. even if you can't tell.

Only way to stop the dreams is to see how he's doing, I'm guessing... either he feels something, or he doesn't; maybe he's with someone... Then your mind can be at rest and you can sleep.

Dreams usually happen when the brain has unfinished business.

Linda

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I guess....so like maybe my subconscious mind is just now figuring out that I had feelings for this person like 7 years ago?

is there a way to stop the dreams?

yep, but you have to see the guy first...

GreenTeaDisease

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Yeah, I'm guessing so.. even if you wouldn't pursue anything, your mind is probably wondering whether you should have done.. even if you can't tell.

Only way to stop the dreams is to see how he's doing, I'm guessing... either he feels something, or he doesn't; maybe he's with someone... Then your mind can be at rest and you can sleep.

Dreams usually happen when the brain has unfinished business.

eh, I'd actually love to get in touch and find out how he's doing, and I've tried in the past-to send christmas cards and stuff. but I can't find him. last time I saw him was right before I moved, and he was thinking of moving too. I tried googling him and stuff not too long ago, to no avail (of course, after a dream). I'm screwed if getting in touch is the only way to stop them!

and I think he is with someone. he could actually be married.

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

eh, I'd actually love to get in touch and find out how he's doing, and I've tried in the past-to send christmas cards and stuff. but I can't find him. last time I saw him was right before I moved, and he was thinking of moving too. I tried googling him and stuff not too long ago, to no avail (of course, after a dream). I'm screwed if getting in touch is the only way to stop them!

and I think he is with someone. he could actually be married.

Well if you can find that out and see them together, the dreams will stop....

Incidentally, my sister couldn't stand the sight of her husband when they first met. Now she's madly in love with him. I don't she even found him good looking at first.

GreenTeaDisease

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Well if you can find that out and see them together, the dreams will stop....

Incidentally, my sister couldn't stand the sight of her husband when they first met. Now she's madly in love with him. I don't she even found him good looking at first.

Well I saw them together the last time. they weren't married though. I really liked her.

That's nice for your sister...but I'm missing the point?

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

Well I saw them together the last time. they weren't married though. I really liked her.

That's nice for your sister...but I'm missing the point?

Sorry.. my only point is that our mind can play funny tricks on us. You think you feel one way, and then WHAMMMO..

LOL I said WHAMMO

GreenTeaDisease

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Sorry.. my only point is that our mind can play funny tricks on us. You think you feel one way, and then WHAMMMO..

LOL I said WHAMMO

well I mean at the time there were moments (moments) where I was a bit torn, that's why I said we were 99% platonic...so it's not really a surprise thing. I just want the dreams to stop. it was 7 years ago and the dreams make me all foggy all morning!

soulsinging

my suggestion is to have sex. clearly, you are sexually and romantically frustrated and it's creeping into your dreams and directing that energy into a safe spot. but if you want the dreams to stop, you've got to do something with it in real life.

dr. c has spoken.

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

my suggestion is to have sex. clearly, you are sexually and romantically frustrated and it's creeping into your dreams and directing that energy into a safe spot. but if you want the dreams to stop, you've got to do something with it in real life.

dr. c has spoken.

haha I am the least sexually and romantically frustrated I have been in my whole life! I don't want a guy at all!

infact, these dreams started to pick up intensity about a year ago, and for 9 months out of that year I had a boyfriend.

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

haha I am the least sexually and romantically frustrated I have been in my whole life! I don't want a guy at all!

infact, these dreams started to pick up intensity about a year ago, and for 9 months out of that year I had a boyfriend.

That's why I think I'm on the money with this one...

Smug face :cool: can you see my smugface?

GreenTeaDisease

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

That's why I think I'm on the money with this one...

Smug face :cool: can you see my smugface?

on the money on what point?

sorry just trying to get everything.

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

on the money on what point?

sorry just trying to get everything.

Haha... that this is about feelings and not sex.

GreenTeaDisease

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Haha... that this is about feelings and not sex.

haha ok. well I could have told you that! but of course soulsinging thinks everything is about sex...

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

haha ok. well I could have told you that! but of course soulsinging thinks everything is about sex...

Yep, he's a neo-Freudian.

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

haha ok. well I could have told you that! but of course soulsinging thinks everything is about sex...

nah, i'm just messing about. i don't believe dreams mean anything. i had a period a little while back where i dreamed about my ex almost every night for a month. it was a bit off-putting the first time, but whatever, it's just a dream. eventually, it went away. the more you think about them, the more you will have them. if you place some huge significance upon a dream, it's just going to make it more likely to occur again.

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

nah, i'm just messing about. i don't believe dreams mean anything. i had a period a little while back where i dreamed about my ex almost every night for a month. it was a bit off-putting the first time, but whatever, it's just a dream. eventually, it went away. the more you think about them, the more you will have them. if you place some huge significance upon a dream, it's just going to make it more likely to occur again.

I agree. this morning it just severely messed me up though, as they often do. it's like I'm trapped in them even after I am physically awake. makes me late for work and whatnot.

I think harmless has a point that me and this guy have some unresolved issues that I've really just pushed back for a long time and now maybe they are trying to come forward. I don't know if the romantic parts of the dreams really means anything. I think it's just how our relationship just ended and everything was unresolved and weird between us. When it comes down to it, I think I just miss the guy...he was like a brother to me for a long time.

I would like the dreams to stop though. as I said, except for just after they happen, I don't think about them or him all that much, but they still seem to happen a few times a week.

harmless_little_f***

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I agree. this morning it just severely messed me up though, as they often do. it's like I'm trapped in them even after I am physically awake. makes me late for work and whatnot.

I think harmless has a point that me and this guy have some unresolved issues that I've really just pushed back for a long time and now maybe they are trying to come forward. I don't know if the romantic parts of the dreams really means anything. I think it's just how our relationship just ended and everything was unresolved and weird between us. When it comes down to it, I think I just miss the guy...he was like a brother to me for a long time.

I would like the dreams to stop though. as I said, except for just after they happen, I don't think about them or him all that much, but they still seem to happen a few times a week.

I mean don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be all spiritual here. Dreams are pretty scientific. Dreams are your brain's information filing system. No hocus pocus.

soulsinging

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I agree. this morning it just severely messed me up though, as they often do. it's like I'm trapped in them even after I am physically awake. makes me late for work and whatnot.

I think harmless has a point that me and this guy have some unresolved issues that I've really just pushed back for a long time and now maybe they are trying to come forward. I don't know if the romantic parts of the dreams really means anything. I think it's just how our relationship just ended and everything was unresolved and weird between us. When it comes down to it, I think I just miss the guy...he was like a brother to me for a long time.

I would like the dreams to stop though. as I said, except for just after they happen, I don't think about them or him all that much, but they still seem to happen a few times a week.

if you say so. there is no rhyme or reason to my dreams. like harmless just mentioned, dreams are kind of like rebooting for the brain. rounding up stray thoughts and images and filing them away. it could be any number of things. you posted about how you wanted a boyfriend and felt left out at the xmas party... so you've got a bit of romantic dissatisfaction going and you remembered you hadn't talked to that friend in a while a few hours earlier. then suddenly you're having a dream where you're on the altar with the dude. doesn't mean anything.

GreenTeaDisease

soulsinging wrote:

if you say so. there is no rhyme or reason to my dreams. like harmless just mentioned, dreams are kind of like rebooting for the brain. rounding up stray thoughts and images and filing them away. it could be any number of things. you posted about how you wanted a boyfriend and felt left out at the xmas party... so you've got a bit of romantic dissatisfaction going and you remembered you hadn't talked to that friend in a while a few hours earlier. then suddenly you're having a dream where you're on the altar with the dude. doesn't mean anything.

probably true. I just want to clarify though that the whole xmas party thing wasn't really about romantic dissatisfaction. I don't really want a boyfriend, I just want these things to be more equal for those that don't have one.

Heineken Helen

I dreamt about a rat last night... little fucker wouldn't leave me alone what do rats in dreams mean? I'm pretty sure I either caught or killed it in the end though.

Strangest Tribe

you just need to masturbate frequently

harmless_little_f***

Heineken Helen wrote:

I dreamt about a rat last night... little fucker wouldn't leave me alone what do rats in dreams mean? I'm pretty sure I either caught or killed it in the end though.

Seriously, I wonder whether that's you finding the end of these dreams. Maybe the rat was the annoying dream.

I wonder if you'll get any more.....

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

I dreamt about a rat last night... little fucker wouldn't leave me alone what do rats in dreams mean? I'm pretty sure I either caught or killed it in the end though.

animals can be easily looked up online. I think google "dream dictionary" or something and you can look up rats. I dream of animals constantly- deer, bears, snakes, and black dogs. supposedly it's all symbolism. I also dream of trying to pack and not being able to finish in time. According to the dream dictionary that's symbolism for my life is an utter mess. yeah, I dream pretty much every night. Last night I dreamt of a girl I haven't talked to since first grade who was running some sort of "The Bachelor"-like event, trying to marry people up.

Heineken Helen

Interesting... it WAS a white rat too:

"A rat, or rats, in your dream points up the fact that someone is very jealous of you and/or your accomplishments and will work against you in any way possible, it is a dream of warning to be on the alert for enemy attack, (the backbiting kind). If you see a white rat it means the same but you will have help from unknown forces. To hear rats running, or gnawing in the walls, shows that you have been wasting your time and should move on to greener pastures."

And I did eventually catch it:

"To catch rats means you will scorn the baseness of others and worthily outstrip your enemies."

That's freaky freaky freaky!

Heineken Helen

yet another weird dream last night. I dreamt I was watching this deer and trying to get close to it but deer being deer was very evasive... then this fox came up to me, which I was quite wary of but it started talking to me and it was all really wise stuff which I can't remember any of and the fox turned out to be really really nice and the two of us watched the deer and the baby deer (which had then turned up). Then I went back to school (PRIMARY school ) and all my old teachers were there and stuff and it was gonna be my first day back where I'd be in 1st class with all the 7 year olds... what the fuck? but it was all kinda nice.

harmless_little_f***

Heineken Helen wrote:

yet another weird dream last night. I dreamt I was watching this deer and trying to get close to it but deer being deer was very evasive... then this fox came up to me, which I was quite wary of but it started talking to me and it was all really wise stuff which I can't remember any of and the fox turned out to be really really nice and the two of us watched the deer and the baby deer (which had then turned up). Then I went back to school (PRIMARY school ) and all my old teachers were there and stuff and it was gonna be my first day back where I'd be in 1st class with all the 7 year olds... what the fuck? but it was all kinda nice.

Wise fox? Well it obviously wasn't the superfluous fox from the last Narnia film then, who was pointless to the story and didn't say anything helpful at all.